To Know The Man
by OnyxIvyStone
Summary: Can we ever really know someone? Is there a way to see into their hearts and minds and pasts and understand what has made them who they are? Kagome is going to learn that the key to Sesshomaru's soul is what rests in the shades of what came before.
1. Chapter 1

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Not mine. Never will be.**_

Prelude 

"_If we could read the secret history of our enemies,_

_We should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility."_

_Longfellow_

Satori frowned. It was not often that any of her emotions graced her beautiful face. Most of her emotions lived in the deep pools of her eyes and, if one was perceptive enough, in the gate of her movements. Even everys few centuries, the faint wisps of emotion held deep in her soul would touch the tones of her voice as they fluidly parted through her lips. This was the first time since their meeting that he had ever seen any emotion touch her delicate features and it was enough to unnerve Inu no Taisho. "You realize, my Lord, what the outcome of your decision on the matter of our son will ultimately be, don't you?"

"I prefer you when you emote through your eyes, my Love. When your placidity is damaged, I often fear that you might try to thrust your talons through my chest again." He said softly as he drew her into his embrace. He met her eyes and observed the mirthful sparkle that passed through their amber countenance.

The frown faded at the memory of that first meeting when her father had presented her to him as a sign of good faith. She had been born on the continent. Her father had once been the Taiyoukai of the East, but had been betrayed by his own brother. Inu no Taisho had recently overthrown the pitiful excuse for an Inuyoukai and had invited the dethroned Taiyoukai to return and take his place again, even though he had shown himself to be too trusting of his subjects. But Inu no Taisho had other reasons for his coup in the East. He had wanted Satori. Rumors of her ruthlessness and power had drifted across the tumultuous waters and he had decided that a union with her would produce a suitable heir for his own lands. She had discovered this fact immediately and she had not been happy.

She had tried to thrust her delicate, clawed hand through his chest in order to strangle his heart and kill him in wrath. Her face had been a visage of fury as she had attacked him. He knew instantly that he wanted her even more for her rage when she had almost succeeded in her quest. Almost, but she had not. He'd caught her and pinned her to the stone wall of the mountain where their meeting had taken place with her hands held immobile above her head. Her poison had poured from her hands and he had laughed. He was immune even though the ability to produce poison was recessive in his blood. He'd mated her there and forced her into submission. It was that force she had fallen in love with and devoted herself to for eternity. She had given him a son whom she had named after the great Inuyoukai who had so skillfully and powerfully claimed her as his own.

Inu no Taisho dipped his head and kissed her deeply, tasting the bitter rise of her poison on her lips and sighed. "You will not forgive me for this, will you?"

"He is our son. He is your namesake and heir and still you will not yield. Ask yourself if you really deserve my forgiveness."

"I am not certain that I do." He said softly and gazed into her eyes. Their son's life had been hard from the beginning. Until now, none of that had been directly his fault, or Satori's. It was an unfortunate bi-product of being his heir. However, this was entirely his fault. What would come would be entirely his fault and he could not turn from his decision no matter what it would cost him. "You are going to leave me, aren't you."

It had been a statement of fact rather than a question. He wanted her to confirm his words so that he knew whether or not he was really alone in his decision. She nodded faintly and sighed as she allowed herself, one last time, to bring to her hands to his jaw, tracing his features, then to run through his hair. "I love you, my Mate, but I cannot stand idly by for this. I refuse to watch you destroy our son no matter what your reasoning. He doesn't deserve it. And if you still insist not to yield from the course, you do not deserve to have me at your side as your mate. I will sever our bond and walk away from you as easily as I would cut a thread hanging loose from my sleeve."

"What of Miyoko?"

_Miyoko…_ Their daughter, Sesshomaru's little sister. She was barely over two centuries old. She was still so very young. Her body was the body of a ten-year-old mortal girl's. She was both her Mate and her son's greatest joy. "She will come with me to the continent. She should not be forced to watch the cruelty of her father against her brother any more than see her own brother's fall. You know she will be safest with me where your enemies cannot reach her."

"Will you take Meidou-Seki, then?"

Her eyes swam with emotion as she slowly returned her vision to his countenance. She loved him so deeply it made her ache to even contemplate stepping away from him, but she knew she had to. She was as unmoveable as her Mate in her decision. She would sever their bond, take their daughter but she would not, could not relinquish the amulet, Meidou-Seki, that hung around her neck. It would be all she had of him aside from the little girl whose eyes and features were so completely her father's. "Because I am leaving you does not mean that I will leave all of you." She whispered and kissed him deeply, without the bitterness of her poison. She trembled as she felt his arms tighten around her, drawing her flush against his form. If she did not pull away then, she never would. He would kill her resolve as easily as if it were a spider he had crushed with his finger. She pushed away harshly and gasped. She closed her eyes and touched her lips with her slender fingertips, then turned her back on him as she forced herself to find her center again. Had he any idea what effect he had over her? She was certain he did. He would use whatever he needed to keep her. He was more ruthless in matters of the heart than she was in battle. Her heart was his from the moment their lips first touched and now it was breaking, for she knew they would never touch again. A tear fell down her cheek before she could fight it away. As instantly as she knew that he could smell the salt of her tears, she knew she would never love again. He was her whole heart and she had to walk away. There was no other choice. "Goodbye, my Lord."

He felt shaken and numb, as the scent of her tears had reached him. He had almost found his hands to reach out to her, but her words stopped him. He couldn't. If he forced her to stay, he would destroy her. He would destroy everything that he loved about her and would be left with a shell of the woman he'd come to know as his heart. No. He was not as ruthless as she thought him to be. "Goodbye, my Lady." He whispered and watched as she walked from their bedroom. He sat heavily on the bed and rested his head in his hands to hide his face. He listened as he heard his Mate and daughter walk through the hall past the door without stopping. His heart iced over as he realized he was not even going to be allowed to say goodbye to his daughter. Neither was Sesshomaru. His son would hate him more for that fact than for the actions he would soon take. He knew more completely than he had ever known anything before that he would never receive the forgiveness of his children or his Mate. The path was set out before him. He could not stray from it. If he did, it would cost the world it's future.


	2. Chapter 2

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Not mine. Never will be.**_

**This is the Forest Primeval**

_I shot an arrow into the air,_

_It fell to earth, I knew not where;_

_For, so swiftly it flew, the sight_

_Could not follow it in its flight._

_I breathed a song into the air,_

_It fell to earth, I knew not where;_

_For who has sight so keen and strong, _

_That it can follow the flight of song?_

_Long, long afterward, in an oak_

_I found the arrow, still unbroke;_

_And the song, from beginning to end,_

_I found again in the heart of a friend._

_Longfellow_

_Focus, Kagome._ She thought softly as she looked at the target in front of her. The tree had several of her arrows embedded in the flesh of its bark. She'd been trying for hours to perfect an arrow of sealing like the one Kikyo had used to place Inuyasha into stasis for fifty years. The arrow had frozen time for the hanyou. It had bound his energies. It had been tuned to her own energies so that she could free him one day. _But she had known she was dying. She knew that the only one who could have freed him was her reincarnation. Stop it, Kagome! Focus. You need to learn how to do this. If you can, we might have a chance at defeating Naraku… You might be able to buy us some time._ She shook herself and sighed as she tried to find her center again.

Across the clearing, Miroku and Sango watched her as the sun was beginning to set in the Western skies. Shippo had gone with Inuyasha to gather wood for the fire. They were waiting for the rest of their group to arrive. Kirara purred in Sango's lap as she pet the fire cat in her diminutive form. _It is going to be interesting when everyone shows up…_ The demon slayer thought as a frown touched her brow. _This fragile truce has to survive or we might never defeat Naraku. Kohaku will die if we do not. So will Miroku. This has to work. It simply has to._

"Baka…" Kagome cursed after she'd let another arrow fly. It had hit its mark, however it was only an arrow of binding, not one of sealing and stasis as well. She sighed and looked down at her hand. A piece of fletching had become embedded in her pale skin and was bleeding. She sat on the ground where she'd been standing beside the arrows she'd pierced into the earth for easy access and then lay down her bow. She pulled the slender piece of feather from her hand and whimpered slightly as it bled more. She brought her hand to her lips and sucked away the excess blood until the wound ceased its seeping. Once the bleeding had stopped, she pulled her hands from her lips and focused her energies so that she could heal the wound closed. Since the death of Kikyo, Kagome had gained, or, more correctly, regained the miko abilities she'd been berated for not having access to. She could heal herself now and the wounds of others. Her arrows were even stronger in their power. She found a deep connection to the earth again and discovered that she was subject to precognitive episodes. Often times they were only dreams, but every so often, in battle, she could sense her opponents next move as well as where their weakness would appear. Controlling her new abilities depended entirely on her learning to control her emotions.

Of late, that had become more and more difficult. Inuyasha had lost the will to live and fight. It was the only reason that they had made their uneasy truce with his half brother, Sesshomaru, and had welcomed Kouga and his wolves into their circle for the final battle with Naraku. Though her beloved hanyou voiced his disapproval, he did little else. Kagome realized that she would lose her best friend, whether they won or lost and it made her heart ache. It was the other reason she was so desperate to perfect the arrow. If she had to, she'd seal him again to a tree until she could find a way to save his life.

Once the slit in her hand had healed, she stood and returned to her task. Every time she began focusing on the arrow, she wondered again why Kikyo would have made such an arrow when she obviously knew she was dying. She also wondered why she would do such a thing knowing doing so would sap all of her energies and make her incapable of healing herself when she needed to most. _She could have purified him, then saved herself and regained the Shikon no Tama. But she didn't. She sacrificed herself to save him knowing she would be reincarnated. Did she know that she would be reborn as me and return to free him? Could she have seen that far into the future? When I first saw him there, pinned to the tree, I felt like I was looking at my destiny. Maybe I was. Maybe that's why he woke. Maybe that's why…_ The arrow was released and it glowed fiercely when it hit. Her eyes widened as she walked toward it and focused once she was near. She'd done it. The arrow of sealing… "I understand now…"

"What did you say, Kagome?" Miroku asked as he stood and approached her. He sensed the arrow and smiled faintly. "Well done! I hope it can be replicated when we fight Naraku."

"It can. I know its secret now." She said softly as a sad smile touched her lips.

"Oh?" He frowned faintly at the sadness in her smile. "What is that?"

"She surrendered." She murmured and closed her eyes as she disbursed the arrows with a wave of her hands. She looked to Miroku and sighed. "She surrendered to her powers and allowed them to work through her so that she could create something that would give her time. She knew she was dying. She knew that she would never heal if she did anything but purify Inuyasha, but she needed to keep him there so her heart could find the answers and discover some resolution. She loved him too much to kill him. Even in her rage, she loved him so she did the only thing she could do. She surrendered to her destiny. And here I am."

"You can't know that." Came Inuyasha's icy words. "You can't pretend to understand what happened."

She sighed and met his dead eyes with her own. "But I do understand, Inuyasha. I was given that knowledge, remember? And I am her, whether you will ever admit that to yourself or not. I might not be her, but I am her. And I know, had it been me rather than Kikyo in the same situation, I would have done the same thing. She couldn't kill you any more than I can let you die." She knew she was treading on dangerous ground, but she couldn't stop herself. This was Inuyasha. She loved him completely. If you love someone, sometimes you do things that hurt them because you have to. Sometimes you walk away and sometimes you stand firm and force them to hear the truth. "The woman whose been calling herself Kikyo, who that witch formed out of clay, was only a fracture of who she was. It was her rage and pain and desperation. Not the part that loved you, Inuyasha. It was the part that needed you and your pain so that she knew she wasn't hurting alone."

"Shut up!" He snarled and ran forward, pinning Kagome to the tree harshly enough to bruise the whole of her back against the unyielding bark of the wood. "You don't know her! You can't know anything about it! You'll do anything to try to take me away from her!"

She winced and closed her eyes, but did not cry. "Inuyasha." She began, and felt her heart beginning to break as she allowed her own truth to slip through her lips. "I'm her reincarnation. When she died and my soul was healed, I gained access to all her emotions and memories from the moment that she was resurrected in her clay body. What I'm telling you is the truth. And this is also the truth. I wouldn't do anything to try to take you away from her, because I know I can't do anything that would force you to release your strangle hold on her memory. I accepted that a long time ago." She met his wavering, broken gaze and sighed faintly. "I love you, Inuyasha. I will always love you and I've grown enough to realize that, as much as I do love you, I don't want you the way that Kikyo wanted you. You're my best friend. You're my brother."

He dropped her and took a step back from her. He looked stricken and lost. "Stop!"

She shook her head and stood with another wince from the bruises he'd caused along her body. "I won't. Because you need to hear this. I love you, Inuyasha. I will always be here for you. I've decided to stay here with you when we complete the Shikon no Tama and I make my wish, but not so that you can fall in love with me the way you did with Kikyo. I know your heart. You'll never love like that again. I'm staying because I don't want you to be alone. I'm staying so you'll always have your best friend when you need me. I'm staying because I won't let you give up and I know that so long as I am in your life, you won't let go."

"Please stop this, Kagome…" He whimpered and fell to his knees in front of her. "Please, I only want to go to her."

She knelt in front of him and reached out, caressing his cheek. "Death won't take you to her. She hasn't reached nirvana. She is me reborn. If you die, you will only be reborn without her. Hell isn't for heroes, Inuyasha. It's for monsters like Naraku who only know evil and malice. They go there because they've squandered the gift of life, throwing the world out of balance. You aren't a monster. You're my best friend. You're my brother. Please don't make me face this time all by myself. Come back to me and live again. Please." She whispered to him.

His golden eyes met her azure ones and he felt himself lean into her touch as she spoke. He was crying, but he didn't care. He was hearing her, finally. She was his Kagome. His best friend. His sister. And he loved her. He couldn't leave her now. He wouldn't. He pulled her into a tight embrace and closed his eyes. "Promise you won't leave me." He whispered as he drew in her scent, memorizing her as family.

She smiled and held onto him with all her strength. "I promise, Inuyasha." She laughed softly and they pulled away from each other slightly. She met his eyes and saw the spark that had been missing rekindled. She kissed his cheek and laughed when he pulled back with his eyes even wider.

She was about to stand up when she sensed the faint prick of the jewel shards approaching fast. _Kouga…_ She thought only an instant before she was pulled off the ground and away from Inuyasha. She screamed sharply in surprise and then found herself in the wolf youkai's arms with his ice blue eyes looking down warmly at her. She poked his chest with two fingers harshly. "You could have given some warning!"

"Kagome, my love! You should know me better than that by now!" He laughed as he let her down to her feet. "How are you doing, you beautiful creature? Has that mutt been taking care of you properly? My woman deserves nothing better than…"

"She AIN'T your woman!" Came the sudden outburst of Inuyasha as he charged forward in rage. He swung his claws at Kouga who, honestly, had not been expecting them to be wielded. The last few times he'd visited, the forlorn Inuyasha had simply frowned at his antics and turned his back. The wolf youkai did not dodge quickly enough to completely evade Inuyasha's claws connecting with his shoulder, though he was able to bound away quickly. He looked back with a deep frown as Inuyasha helped Kagome up from where she had fallen while ducking away from the attack. "Are you alright?"

She nodded and smiled with faint anger causing her brow to twitch. "You could have also given me some warning, Inuyasha. And considering why we're meeting this evening, I suggest that you go and _sit_ down before you really get into trouble."

Kagome walked away from the hanyou who had just been pummeled into the ground. He whimpered and slowly sat up. The word had been so gentle when she'd said it. She hadn't wanted to hurt him, she'd only wanted him to stop his posturing. He realized this fact and stood and dusted himself off and went to his task of making the campfire. He realized that the others in his little pack had watched the whole interplay between himself and Kagome and, while that had brought some red to his cheeks, he was still reeling so much that he couldn't really bring himself to care. What he cared about was Kouga forcing himself on Kagome the way he always did. Inuyasha admired her strength, willfulness and fire. No one should ever try to control her or force their will onto her, even if she loved them. And he knew with much certainty that she did not love Kouga.

Kagome returned to her spot in front of the tree and returned to practicing her arrows of sealing. Kouga walked up behind her and watched her as she worked. He was fully weary of Inuyasha now and so he tread lightly as approached while she notched another arrow and aimed. He felt her focus and then leaned in gently and nipped her ear.

She gasped and startled. Her arrow flew wildly away from its target into the forest. She felt it hit something. No. Someone. Her eyes widened. I _Shit! /I _ "Kouga! Why did you do that?!" She turned on him in fury and he backed a few steps away with a smirk on his face.

"To see how focused you really are!" He replied, laughing.

"Tell that to whoever I just hit out there!" She retorted in anger and then turned and ran into the forest. Because the arrow had sealed the power of who ever she'd hit, she had no idea who might have an arrow jutting out of them, though she did know that it was a youkai of significant power. There had been a pulse of resistance before the youkai had been completely sealed. Her heart leapt as she sensed another jewel shard and heard the cries of a child and the shrill and panicked words of the little toad, Jaken. _Oh Kami… I am in such SUCH deep shit…_


	3. Chapter 3

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Not mine. Never will be.**_

**The Stars of the Unconquerable Will**

_(From "My Lost Youth")_

_I remember the sea-fight far away,_

_How it thundered o'er the tide!_

_And the dead captains, as they lay_

_In their graves, o'erlooking the tranquil bay,_

_Where they in battle died._

_And the sound of that mournful song_

_Goes through me with a thrill:_

_"A boy's will is the wind's will,_

_And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts."_

… … … … … … … … … … …

_There are things of which I may not speak;_

_There are dreams that cannot die;_

_There are thoughts that make the strong heart weak,_

_And bring a pallor into the cheek,_

_And a mist before the eye._

_And the words of that fatal song_

_Come over me like a chill:_

_"A boy's will is the wind's will,_

_And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts."_

_Longfellow_

She reached the small clearing where she sensed Kohaku's jewel shard. He was kneeling beside Rin and trying to comfort her as she lay at the feet of Sesshomaru. The Taiyoukai was pinned to a tree, much as Inuyasha had been when she'd first seen him, with her arrow of sealing. Jaken was running in circles, screaming nearby about treachery and the death of his master.

She sighed and shook her head. "He isn't dead." She said softly, but it was enough to silence the toad and capture the attention of Rin and Kohaku.

"But… He isn't breathing or moving!" Rin cried out. She's grown a little in the last few years. She was almost ten now and came up half way on Sesshomaru's waist. Kohaku hugged the girl and tried to calm her. He'd become very attached to her. That was easily seen.

"Its an arrow of sealing. I was practicing for our battle with Naraku and… Kouga surprised me so I missed my mark." She frowned faintly as she walked toward where Sesshomaru was pinned. _Well, at least I know when I aim at Naraku, he won't be able to dodge it. The last time I shot an arrow at Sesshomaru, he caught it and wasn't even effected._ "I'm sorry…" She whispered and reached out for the arrow.

As her hand moved nearer to Sesshomaru, his eyes opened half way and met hers knowingly. "You shot your arrow at this Sesshomaru."

She paused and realized that, if she did free him, she'd most likely die a moment later. She pulled back her hand. "Accidentally. The arrow wasn't meant for you. I was practicing. I gain nothing by sealing my ally."

"We are not allies, miko. We are enemies joined together for only the purpose of defeating a mutual enemy. Do not think I will forget this when Naraku is defeated." He said with venom.

She could not help the shiver that ran down her spine. "I don't expect you to. Just don't kill me until afterward."

"Easily." He snarled as she reached out again to grasp and disperse the arrow.

She was vaguely aware of her friends as they approached from behind to find the scene that was taking place between the Taiyoukai and the miko. She sighed faintly and smirked as her slender fingers wrapped around the shaft of the arrow. She focused her powers and disbursed the energies that were sealing Sesshomaru.

As the arrow vanished in a cloud of sparkling pink energies, Kagome felt a sudden surge between herself and Sesshomaru. Her eyes widened as her mind was flooded with hundreds of memories not her own, though it seemed as if she were being directed. Directed by the emotions and thoughts of Sesshomaru. She cried out sharply and went rigid. Light poured from her eyes and mouth as her scream became strangled and she collapsed to the ground. She heard her name being called out. She felt the familiar touch of Inuyasha as he scooped her up into his arms. She could smell his very familiar scent of treetops, dew and clean sweat and fought to open her eyes so that she could gaze up into his golden pools of warmth and concern and tell him that she was alright. Not to be afraid. But she could not. Her mind was being pulled away into another person's memories that had been so brutally thrust into her psyche. Her consciousness shut down and she was pulled into the blackness of her subconscious as it fought to make sense of the alien memories, to sort which were hers and which were imposed so that she could retain some level of sanity while the lifetime of Sesshomaru overtook her thoughts and revealed, painfully, the answers to questions she hadn't even thought to ask the stoic ice lord. Some she was afraid to ever let pass through her lips.

The leaves of memory seemed to make 

_A mournful rustling in the dark._

_Longfellow_

She opened her eyes. The smell of youkai blood was thick and forced her to cover her mouth and nose or face gagging and vomiting. The scene around her made her wish she had never opened her eyes. The battlefield was huge and stretched all around her. In the distance, she could see where the bodies stretched into the ocean and floated out to sea where the sun was rising over the ocean. Only a few yards in front of her she saw the figure of Inu no Taisho standing with his generals facing another tall, formidable man with his generals. She did not recognize the other man who so unflinchingly stared the great Lord of the Western Lands in the eyes, but Inu no Taisho she knew. She remembered him from the vision superimposed over his sons as they sealed the fissure leading into hell. He was even more impressive in person, or, in this case, held in the memories that had been thrust into Kagome's mind.

"State your terms, Ryukotsusei." The Inu Taiyoukai said firmly without looking away from the dragon Taiyoukai.

Kagome shuddered and swallowed hard. _Is this when he nearly kills Inuyasha's father? Is that what I'm watching?_

"I require the life of one of your children to ensure that you will keep your word. That you will never again set foot in my lands in the name of conquest." The dragon Taiyoukai spat out coolly. He pulled a shining orb from his pocket and smiled in the form of a snarl. "Or I will use this again, only this time I will use it to massacre the humans of these lands. If you are going to defeat me, I will at least ensure that I hurt you, Inu no Taisho."

He snarled. "You stole that upon the sacrifice of Midoriko, my ally. You have used its power for nothing but terror ever since. And now, after slaughtering both my army and yours, you threaten this? To kill the humans on these islands simply for spite?"

"Yes." He replied simply and laughed, replacing the jewel in the folds of his robes. "Either I massacre the throng of humanity you and your race are so devoted to, or you give me one of your young and leave my land without the prize you so desired. The jewel is mine. I will die and take what you love before I allow it out of my grasp."

"Father." The voice was soft and incredibly young. Kagome gasped as a small boy, physically no more than twelve years old, stepped from slightly behind the great Inu no Taisho. He had long silver hair, braided back carefully though some had escaped its bindings. His eyes were the same amber hue of the Taiyoukai he stood beside, but his markings were magenta and he had an indigo crescent moon adorning his brow.

_Sesshomaru… But he's too young for this to have been the final battle between Ryukotsusei and Inu no Taisho!_

"Father." The boy said again and finally the Taiyoukai looked down to meet his son's gaze. "Send me to him. I will be alright and the humans will be safe. And Miyoko will be safe." The last he said with determination, as if it held the greatest importance. "Please, Father. Let me show you how strong I am."

Inu no Taisho frowned deeply and crouched down so that he was meeting his son's gaze. "You realize what you are allowing to happen. He will be responsible for your well being. I can do nothing to help you or protect you. You will only be returned to us if you are dead or if another truce is reached."

Sesshomaru nodded and gave a malevolent smile that made Kagome shiver. "I'm not afraid."

"Sometimes, my son, a lack of fear is more of a weakness than a strength." He sighed deeply and shook his head. "There is very little choice."

"There is no choice, Father." Sesshomaru said softly. "You are allied to Midoriko. You gave her your word that you would defend the lives of her kind in exchange for her prowess and support in battle. Ryukotsusei will honor his word and… He might try to take Miyoko for spite. This is your only choice. Miyoko…" His eyes were piercing and sure. "Is more important."

Inu no Taisho stood and smiled grimly. He looked to Ryukotsusei with hatred. "At times I forget my son's resolve and perception. You have my word and you have my son and heir. But know if he is harmed, I will not hesitate, no matter what you hold over me. The life of my son or the lives of those I am allied to."

She watched as Sesshomaru was placed in the hands of the evil dragon Taiyoukai. As her vision faded from the battlefield, she felt a jolt run through her. _Miyoko… What happened to his sister?_

A feeling of sadness and longing 

_That is not akin to pain,_

_And resembles sorrow only_

_As the mist resembles the rain._

_Longfellow_

She found herself in a courtyard in a palace deep in the mountains. Her eyes fell on a form, prone and stretched out in the dust with its limbs bound and held to the earth with glowing chains. She approached and found a slightly older Sesshomaru with closed eyes laying in nothing but a loincloth. Nearby, also chained with a glowing shackle to the earth was Sesshomaru's mokomokosama. It writhed slightly every now and again. She'd always wondered about the strange furry item of clothing, but now, with Sesshomaru's memories, she knew exactly what it was.

It was an extension of the Inuyoukai. It was the personification of his feral beast and contained the heart of his powers. The chains were used to dampen his slowly growing abilities so that he could not escape. Kagome felt tears well in her throat. The great Sesshomaru's long hair was cut to the nape of his neck and was laid across his chest. His body was a canvas of open wounds still seeping with blood from a recent beating.

_Sesshomaru… You did this for her. For your sister… How long did you endure this?_ As soon as she asked the question, a soft voice answered from behind her. She turned and saw a beautiful little girl, physically no more than ten years old, with amber eyes and long silver hair, braided into two braids that hung down her back.

"He has been here a hundred years." She said. Her eyes were so very sad. "Long enough for me to grow to resemble a five-year-old mortal girl. They'll let him free soon to go home and then he'll see me again. I was only a few days old when he gave himself up for my sake."

"How are you speaking to me?" Kagome asked softly as a soft frown touched her brow.

Miyoko smiled faintly and met the miko's gaze. For a moment, she saw the small form of Rin superimposed over the girl and then the vision faded. She knew instantly that it was for this reason that Sesshomaru had become enchanted with the mortal girl who was never far from his side. "I am the most alive memory in Sesshomaru's mind. Aside from the girl, Rin, I am the only person that he loves. Jaken is important to him, but we two are all who he loves. It is for that reason that we live so vibrantly in his mind. Me especially."

"What happened to you? Were… Were you killed?"

The girl shook her head and put out her hand. "We should go. His memories become worse in the next few moments. Ryukotsusei prepared a… Going away present."

"I don't understand." Kagome breathed as she held the little girl's hand.

The child looked back to the woman who held her hand so gently. "Do you want to understand?"

Her eyes were so much like Inuyasha's and Inu no Taisho's. Her markings were slender, delicate and beautifully formed along her cheeks and jaw. They were magenta as well, though she had no crescent moon on her brow. Her eyes spoke volumes of knowledge that Kagome was certain the true Miyoko had no possession of. It was as if this girl, the perfect little child, wanted Kagome to wish to understand which meant, somewhere deep down in his icy heart, Sesshomaru wanted someone to understand. Needed someone to understand.

"I want to understand, Miyoko. Please help me." She said softly. The girl nodded and turned back to the courtyard where the young Sesshomaru waited, meditating. Kagome could sense he knew his imprisonment was ending and he was preparing for whatever would come in the time between here and there when he would be allowed to return to his family.

Kagome looked up sharply as a gang of youkai soldiers approached. They were all at least twice the size of Sesshomaru and all of them… Smelled as if they were ready for something unspeakable. _How can I know what they smell like… My senses aren't as keen as his are… _

"Because these are his memories. And he remembers this. This is where his nightmares are formed." Miyoko said softly and tightened her grip on Kagome's hand.

Kagome watched in horror as Sesshomaru was pulled from the ground roughly along with his mokomokosama. The pins, which had been drilled into the earth, were pulled up with him with the youkai strength of his captors. He could have never pulled them free with his waning strength. He was imbued with the strength of a mortal fifteen year old, not of a several hundred-year-old inuyoukai. Still he cursed his weakness and hated himself for it. He hated the humans for their weakness. He hated his father for the alliance he'd made with the miko. He hated the miko for dying and creating such a powerful, dangerous artifact. He hated his father even more for allowing it to fall into Ryukotsusei's clutches and forced this decision for the sake of his sister. For Miyoko.

As Sesshomaru was drug through the courtyard to the dojo, Kagome became very aware of his hatred and felt her self almost choke on his rage as it passed through her. Her vision blurred and she found herself in the dojo as the soldiers chained him to a wall. He was forced to watch as they began to stab and slash at his mokomokosama. Sesshomaru writhed against the wall and cried out. Its pain was his pain. The soldiers almost killed his beast, but stopped short as the ragged breath of the boy before them became lighter. They let the furry extension of the boy's beast recover while they approached him.

Kagome covered her mouth, fighting the scream that was threatening to escape. She was crying. Her heart was aching with hatred and agony. She knew what was to come and it was unimaginable, but she could not look away. She wanted to understand. She needed to understand because she knew that he wanted her to. He needed her to. At least he needed someone to. But this was something beyond words even for the strongest person.

She fell to her knees as she watched in horror the brutal rape of the boy that was once Sesshomaru. Her heart broke into pieces as she felt his hatred for humanity deepen. He blamed them. He blamed his father entirely. He was beyond forgiveness.

She began to weep and balled her hands into fists as she leaned into the wood of the dojo. The memory went on for what seemed to be an eternity. At one point, Sesshomaru stopped screaming. It wasn't because unconsciousness claimed him. That would have been too kind. It was simply because he had lost his ability to scream or cry or beg. And so she began to scream for him and to beg for him. She let herself fall completely into his memory as if it were her own, no longer so she could understand, but because, in her heart, she could not allow him to endure the memory alone even if it was only a memory. All of it was only a memory.

When unconsciousness finally claimed him, she curled into a knot and wept. Miyoko held Kagome's head in her lap. She ran her fingers through the miko's hair and sang to her softly a song that the woman had never heard before. It was gentle and warm and pure as the voice that sung it.

"What happened to you, Miyoko?" She breathed and looked up at the little girl.

She smiled faintly and met the miko's eyes. "I don't know. A hundred years from when my brother was returned to our family, I was taken away by our mother. Even when Sesshomaru saw her again, I was not there. She would not tell him what befell me. This is the last memory of me that he has. This is as I was when he last saw me. He never was given the chance to say goodbye."

"He hates her for it, doesn't he?"

"You know as well as I do that he does." Miyoko replied softly.

"There is more to this, isn't there? Why he hates Inuyasha… Why he cannot stand his very existence and that he was given Tessaiga."

"Yes, there is. But it all comes back to this, Kagome. Everything comes back to this moment, when his hatred was strongest. He hates humanity because they brought him here. He hates you because you remind him of Midoriko who brought him here. He hates our father because his alliance with Midoriko brought him here, but, yes, there is more to this hatred than that."

"Tell me, Miyoko… I do not have the strength to see any more."

"That you understand this is enough." The girl said. Kagome found herself slowly fading away from the blackness that Sesshomaru had fallen into and appeared with Miyoko in a beautiful garden curled up beneath a cherry tree. Several hundred yards in front of them she could see the same cherry tree in the same garden. Miyoko was sitting beneath the falling petals reading as Sesshomaru practiced with his sword a short distance away. "This is his happiest memory. This is where he finds peace. It is shortly before I was taken away. Shortly after he finally found the strength to tell our father that, when he was Taiyoukai of the West, he would not honor the alliance that had been forged with Midoriko. It is shortly after this that our father told him that he would no longer be his heir."

"I don't understand… Why?"

"Sesshomaru was named for our father, but the warrior you know, who has tried to kill you and Inuyasha over and over again, is by far more worthy of the name. Inu no Taisho loved humanity. He respected their true strength, though Sesshomaru could never understand what that was until he had seen you fighting along side Inuyasha. It took him several years to understand, even after adopting Rin and saving Kohaku. Your strength is in your emotions and your conviction and desire to live. Though Sesshomaru understands, he does not admire it as our father did. He only respects it. Because Sesshomaru could not understand and refused to let go of his hatred for humanity, our father demoted him. When our mother abandoned our father and took me with her, Inu no Taisho was forced to take another mate. To ensure that his new heir would be tied to humanity, he chose a human mate. Because he loved humanity, he could love Inuyasha's mother. It drove Sesshomaru to hate our father even more. A hanyou was to be his father's heir, not him, and a human woman could replace the bond that our father and mother shared. This is why he hates Inuyasha so greatly."

"But if Inuyasha was to be the heir of Inu no Taisho, why is Sesshomaru now Taiyoukai of the West?"

"Sesshomaru was the only son old enough to take our father's place when he died. It was assumed by the court that once Inuyasha was old enough, he would take the place as ruler of the West… And then he was sealed to a tree for fifty years. That he could be sealed by a miko in such a way was a sign of weakness. Not only that, but no one could free the hanyou from his timeless prison. Shortly afterward, Sesshomaru was permanently given the title by vote of the other cardinal Taiyoukai."

"So Inu no Taisho was fighting Ryukotsusei for the Shiko no Tama."

"Yes. He regained it and brought it to the village of the demon slayers. They, in turn, brought it to Kikyo. Shortly after he completed his task, he was killed defending his mate and Inuyasha."

"Miyoko… There's one more thing that I don't understand."

"What is it?" She asked softly and met the miko's azure gaze with her amber one.

"If he hated Midoriko so much, why didn't he go after the Shikon no Tama in order to destroy it?"

"By the time he discovered where it was being held, Inuyasha was sealed to a tree and your previous incarnation was being burnt upon a funeral pyre. When the fire died away, he searched through the ashes only to find the chain that had held the jewel around Kikyo's neck. The jewel was gone, taken by Kami, with Kikyo into her next incarnation."

She trembled and looked back onto the memory that was still replaying in front of her. Sesshomaru sheathed his sword and walked over to his sister. He collapsed and lay back with his head in her lap, crumpling the book she was reading. She laughed and rumpled his bangs to which the inuyoukai laughed and kissed her hand.

"You are the only one in the world who will bring me light, Miyoko." Sesshomaru said with a smirk.

Miyoko beamed at her beloved brother and put her book to the side. Her look was tranquil and full of sisterly affection as she smoothed the sweat from his face and began to sing the same song that she had sung to Kagome while she had been curled in the dark. Sesshomaru closed his eyes and smiled faintly.

_There are no nightmares when you hear her voice singing… There is no pain when you hear this song. Sesshomaru… I'm so sorry. I never understood._


	4. Chapter 4

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Not mine. Never will be.**_

**The Ceasing of Exquisite Music**

_(A Psalm of Life)_

_What The Heart Of The Young Man Said To The Psalmist._

_Tell me not, in mournful numbers,_

_Life is but an empty dream!_

_For the soul is dead that slumbers,_

_And things are not what they seem._

_Life is real! Life is earnest!_

_And the grave is not its goal;_

_Dust thou art, to dust returnest,_

_Was not spoken of the soul._

_Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,_

_Is our destined end or way;_

_But to act, that each to-morrow_

_Find us farther than to-day._

_Art is long, and Time is fleeting,_

_And our hearts, though stout and brave,_

_Still, like muffled drums, are beating_

_Funeral marches to the grave._

_In the world's broad field of battle,_

_In the bivouac of Life,_

_Be not like dumb, driven cattle!_

_Be a hero in the strife!_

_Trust no Future, howe'er pleasant!_

_Let the dead Past bury its dead!_

_Act,— act in the living Present!_

_Heart within, and God o'erhead!_

_Lives of great men all remind us_

_We can make our lives sublime,_

_And, departing, leave behind us_

_Footprints on the sands of time;_

_Footprints, that perhaps another,_

_Sailing o'er life's solemn main,_

_A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,_

_Seeing, shall take heart again._

_Let us, then, be up and doing,_

_With a heart for any fate;_

_Still achieving, still pursuing,_

_Learn to labor and to wait._

_Longfellow_

Inuyasha watched helplessly as Kagome thrashed and cried out where he had laid her. She was sweating and pale with her features drawn in agony. She'd been silent for a while, almost peaceful, and then she had begun to cry. Miroku was praying next to her while Sango held her down on her sleeping bag. Kouga was pacing and looking guiltily from her to Sesshomaru who merely sat across the camp with his back leaned against a tree. He almost seemed to take some perverse pleasure in her tears and now her cries. Inuyasha wanted to tear his heart out.

"NO! Please, stop it!" She cried out sharply and tensed. Her hands balled into fists and she kicked her legs.

"Inuyasha, hold her legs down. She's going to hurt herself!" Sango called and he did as he was told.

Kagome screamed and writhed against her friends who were restraining her. Her mind was lost in some agony none of them could grasp. "Someone's hurting her…" Inuyasha barked to Sango.

"Muzzle your wench, Inuyasha. She will attract unwanted attention." Sesshomaru said angrily. "Muzzle her or I will silence her completely."

"Touch her and I'll kill you." Inuyasha snarled.

"Please! Leave him alone!" She gasped. Her eyes flashed open and then pressed closed. She writhed and arched her body harshly against Inuyasha and Sango.

"Him? What has possession of her?" Sango murmured softly.

Kagome sobbed and went still. As soon as Inuyasha and Sango were certain she would not move again, they released her and she curled into a fetal knot, weeping into her hands.

"There has to be something we can do." Kouga breathed as he approached. "Something or someone has a hold on her and won't let go. Its torturing her."

"We know, Kouga…" Miroku said as he looked up from his prayer. "But, from what I can sense, the only thing that has Kagome is Kagome. Her powers are keeping her unconscious and it would seem for her own sake."

"What are you talking about?" Inuyasha asked before Kouga could speak. His voice was strained and worried. Kagome was his whole world, his only family. He couldn't lose her.

Miroku sighed and frowned deeply. "When she disbursed the arrow and freed Sesshomaru, it was as if her psyche became overwhelmed with something. It could be a vision of something. Anything from something having to do with Sesshomaru himself or of the general future. Her mind shut down her consciousness in order to protect her from insanity. She will remain where she is until the vision ceases. We can only wait and hope she will waken soon."

Sesshomaru frowned and let his eyes drift over to where Kohaku, Rin and Shippo were sitting next to Ah-Un. Jaken had been sent out to scout the area a short while before. The children had been trying to keep diverted with one of Shippo's games, however, when the miko had begun screaming, all three had found their eyes and minds caught up in her pain. He could sense Rin's distress and it enraged him. _Damn my bastard brother's miko…_ He thought and snarled again.

But his snarl was cut off short.

"What happened… To you Miyoko…" The whisper was so faint, he almost had missed its presence.

Sesshomaru stood and paled to a deathly palor. _Miyoko… She said her name… What is she seeing?_ He was beside the miko instantly and shook her. "What do you know of Miyoko?"

Kagome whimpered and hung limply in his grasp. He was ripped away before he could hear any more of her words by two sets of hands. "Stay away from her or I'll rip off your other arm." Inuyasha said through gritted teeth. He was barely remaining in control. First Kagome fell unconscious, then she began crying, then screaming and thrashing, and now his brother dared to touch her.

"Let me go!" His eyes began to bleed red. The girl knew of his sister. He needed to rip out the information.

"Who is she?" Kouga asked, snarling and ignoring the Taiyoukai's loss of control. "If you shift and kill her, she'll never wake up and tell you what you want to know. If you kill us, she'll never tell you anyway, so calm down, damnit!"

"Tell me… Miyoko… I don't have the strength…" Her words were hollow and broken and filled with sorrow. Sesshomaru shuddered and curtailed his beast.

He let himself slide down to his knees as he was released from Inuyasha and Kouga's hold. "She is… My sister."

"Sister?" Inuyasha frowned. "We have a sister?"

"Do not _ever_ presume that she could be called yours, you mutt." Sesshomaru said with venom. He recovered and sat back on his haunches with his only hand resting in his lap. "She was taken by my mother, long ago. When she abandoned our father. I have not seen her in centuries. I do not know if she is alive or dead. I have not uttered her name since the day she was taken. And your miko knows something. She is speaking to her. I must know what she knows."

Miroku watched the Taiyoukai where he was kneeling and slowly stood. He crouched before him and met his eyes. "When she wakes, you may ask her. But she will be disoriented when she comes to. Do not upset her. She's been through a lot. She doesn't deserve to be put through any more."

Sesshomaru snarled. "You presume to tell this Sesshomaru what to do."

"I presume to protect my friend as well as I am able." Miroku replied with a dangerous tone that was almost foreign to his voice. "You wish to discover what happened to your sister. I wish to protect mine. Certainly you understand me."

Sesshomaru's lip twitched, then he nodded. "I will respect this."

"Thank you." Miroku said softly and bowed his head to the Taiyoukai before returning to Kagome's side. He smoothed her brow and met Sango's eyes. Only she noticed how near to terror the monk really was, but she couldn't help but feel herself falling more deeply in love with him for the strength he had shown.

Kagome began to cry again, but it was only the slow and steady fall of her tears without raking sobs. She uncurled and a faint smile touched her lips. A sad, broken smile. She opened her eyes, though she did not see and began to sing a soft, lilting melody. The words were simple, almost nonsensical about the dance of the river waves with the ocean waves where they meet, but it struck a chord in Sesshomaru's mind that was almost overwhelming. When the song ended, a soft sob escaped Kagome's lips and she covered her face to hide the agony of her features. The world came back into her senses and she knew it was the true world, not the world of Sesshomaru's memories, because everything seemed dull in comparison. She felt Sango's hands on her shoulders and she sat up and curled into her sister's embrace.

Sango ran her fingers through Kagome's long ebony hair and rocked her softly until her tears began to ebb. "What happened, Kagome?"

She shook her head. There weren't words and she couldn't tell her. "It isn't mine." She whispered brokenly before standing on shaking legs. "None of it is mine." Inuyasha was at her side and his hands went to her shoulders to support her so she did not fall. She tensed and tried to tell herself that he wouldn't hurt her. She tried so desperately not to scream, but she couldn't stop herself. She screamed and he wouldn't let go. She panicked and he held her tighter.

"Kagome… Kagome please! Its only me!" He couldn't understand why she was fighting him or why she was so terrified. His touch usually was calming and welcome.

She pushed away from him violently and backed against a tree. "I'm… Sorry… Inuyasha, please… Just don't touch me."

He frowned deeply and studied her in confusion. In fact, everyone was except for one set of eyes. Amber, deep, fuming eyes from across the camp. He stood and approached the miko with determined steps and then grabbed her shoulder gently. She met his eyes and did not flinch from his touch. He spoke only one word. The only one he needed to speak. "Miyoko."

She closed her eyes and trembled. "I don't know, Sesshomaru." She murmured and then found the strength again to meet his eyes. "I only know what you know."

He flinched and released her as if the sight of her and the feel of her skin burnt him. "You know nothing."

She shook her head fiercely and dug her nails so deeply into her palms that they bled. New tears fell down her face in a torrent. "I don't want to know, but I do. It is yours. It is all of you and everything and I _don't_ want it. I would take Tokijin and cut it from my mind if I could… Everything but her and her song. So do not deny what I do or do not know. It is mine now as surely as it is yours."

"You dare to say you understand?" He growled with murderous intent.

"_I let myself feel it so I could understand!_" She screamed at him and then paled and looked away, caught by hollow, instantaneous silence.

"You… Let yourself…" His voice faltered as his eyes fell on the human miko who every fabric of his being had despised only a few moments before. "Why?"

"I wanted to understand."

"Why?" He pressed once more as he again advanced toward her. He could smell her tears and the blood from the cuts in her palm. He could smell her sadness and fear, but not of him. He knew too well. She feared sleep.

"No one deserves what they did to you. You were a boy. You were trying to protect your sister. You were being noble." She whispered so softly only he could hear her. The words were barely even mouthed. "Even in a memory, no one deserves to be alone through that. No one."

Her legs were giving out, but he didn't let her fall. His arm wrapped around her waist and held her tightly to his torso. He felt a part of his heart warm singular from the parts that held Rin and Miyoko. It warmed for Kagome because she, alone, understood. She understood everything, of that he had no doubt. "You are safe with me. I will not let them take you." He whispered and trembled as he felt her arms wrap around him and cling to him fiercely.

"Please don't let me go." She whispered and he knew that Inuyasha and the advancing Kouga had heard her. He knew because his brother had stopped breathing and Kouga had frozen in place.

He held her tighter and took in her scent deeply, instinctually memorizing it, his beast claiming it. Her fingers gently clutched the fur of mokomokosama as the beast inhabiting it wrapped around the girl protectively. "I will not. I promise I will not."

He slowly turned her and drew her down with him against the tree that she had pressed herself to only moments before. He cradled her close to him and relaxed faintly as he felt her relax. His beast curled around her waist and legs, calming her further. In turn, she calmed him as she pet the softness of the fur that surrounded her. Their eyes did not meet, but their aura's began to blend softly. She closed her eyes and began to drift off asleep against him. She saw no one else. She did not see as Inuyasha and Kouga looked on in horror. She did not see the curious Rin with a faint smile kissing her lips. She did not see the confusion in Shippo and Kohaku's eyes, nor the glimmer of understanding in Miroku and Sango. She didn't care. The one person who understood what she had endured was holding her and keeping her safe because he had endured the same. For the first time since she'd been pulled through the Bone Eater's Well, Kagome felt completely safe. Like she was home.

Time has laid his hand 

_Upon my heart gently, not smiting it,_

_But as a harper lays his open palm_

_Upon his harp, to deaden its vibration._

_Longfellow_

Sesshomaru remained where he had sat several hours before with Kagome in his and his beast's embrace. The two were one in their sudden possessiveness of her. She had experienced their pain. She knew their heart and so they could let no harm come to her. A few times she had begun to whimper in her sleep. He had spoken to her in soft, hushed tones of comfort and it had stilled her, much to his brother's chagrin. Inuyasha was across the camp sitting near Kouga and both men were giving him death looks. He didn't care at all except that he didn't want to have conflict around Kagome. For a full month after he had been returned to his family, he had been unable to speak or allow anyone to touch him. Except Miyoko. She had nursed his wounds as their mother had instructed her and sang him to sleep when he woke in terror.

His father had gone on the warpath the whole time, killing at random every youkai who he came across that was not of his own court. He could not destroy Ryukotsusei because the Taiyoukai still had the jewel and threatened the lives of the humans. Sesshomaru didn't care then. He wanted them dead. _But if he'd have done what you wanted, no human would have survived. This girl would not be here. She is ours now. She understands. She calms it as even Miyoko could not calm it. The pain lessens because she shares it._ His beast said to him softly to which he agreed. She knew. She understood. Perhaps that was all that was necessary to have made the experience, while still horrible and unspeakable, bearable. The weakness of his father he found he could now forgive. It was that weakness that had allowed Kagome to come into being. And now… Now he was not alone.

She stirred slowly and sighed. He looked down and met her azure gaze as it fluttered open. Her eyes were so dull and pained. "Sesshou…" She whispered in her waking haze. The diminutive almost made him smile.

"I am not accustomed to diminutives." He said softly and held her tighter. "Perhaps I should learn to be."

She smiled faintly and her eyes sparked to life with growing warmth. He felt some of his tension fade away. He hated seeing her in pain. The sensation was so new and foreign and yet, he did not balk from it. He embraced his connection to her greedily with sudden need. He realized how vulnerable they both were to each other and only each other. He'd been waiting so long for someone to see him without realizing he wanted to be seen. He couldn't have wished for someone to understand. No one deserved to understand his own personal hell. But she did now and he found that, with instant acceptance of his reaction, he cherished her because of her knowledge and understanding. "Would you… I want to take a bath. Would you guard the spring while I do?" Her voice was hesitant and afraid. He found himself realizing that she was afraid that he would deny her. He knew very well that he couldn't.

"I will." He replied and helped her to stand. Reluctantly, his beast slipped back to its place as she walked to her bag to retrieve what she needed for a bath. Inuyasha stood and walked toward her. Sesshomaru watched wearily, knowing full well what would happen if his brother touched her.

"Kagome, you can't be serious… He's tried to kill us. He hates humans!" He crouched down and fought the urge to touch her. After her last reaction to his touch, he knew she probably would react badly. It stung, but he didn't know what memories of Sesshomaru she had endured. His heart ached that the woman who had brought him back from the brink pulled away from him, but his mind and instincts told him that his brother was a comforting presence for her. As much as he hated Sesshomaru, he loved Kagome too much to begrudge her that comfort.

"He won't hurt me, Inuyasha…" She whispered and met her best friend's gaze with warmth, though her gaze was still pained and frightened. She felt naked out of Sesshomaru's arms. "I trust him. He won't let anyone hurt me."

"You can't honestly know that! Just because you shared his memories…"

"Inuyasha, don't…" She said softly and she leaned her head toward the earth. Her hair cascaded in a curtain, hiding her face. He halted in his words when he smelled her tears. "I know you can't understand. There's no way for you to ever understand… Just as there's no way I can ever understand the pain you feel every time you look at me and see Kikyo staring back at you… But, please, Inuyasha. Trust me. Trust my judgment. If only on this. Trust me as I trust you."

He ached softly in the pit of his stomach as her words resonated through him. He couldn't ever understand what she shared with Sesshomaru, but he could trust her. He bowed his head softly and nodded. "I trust you. Just… Just be careful and come back to me, ok?"

She smiled and nodded as she stood. "I made a promise to you, Inuyasha. I haven't forgotten it."

He smiled and watched her as she turned to return to Sesshomaru's side. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders to steady her and guided her toward the nearest spring he could find. As they were about to leave camp, Jaken returned. He sensed him near, but did not expect what happened next.

"You pitiful, dirty human! Get away from Lord Sesshomaru!" He screeched and advanced, sweeping the girl off her feet so that she crashed to the ground. His staff struck her hard and fast along her ribs, making a sickening cracking sound as some of the bones broke.

She cried out and curled into a fetal knot and then went still. Jaken found him self pinned against a tree with his master's claws digging into his throat.

"Give me one good reason why I should not kill you, Jaken." Sesshomaru growled through gritted teeth. Mokomokosama had slipped from his shoulders and was wrapping himself around Kagome protectively, trying to soothe her, however, if his rage did not abate, he would call his beast back and shift if only to devour the toad properly.

"My lord!" He choked, gasping for air. "She is only a human! The human wench of your bastard hanyou brother!"

"She is mine now." He snarled and tightened his grip. "And you have harmed her, you insolent toad." Some of the red faded back. His eyes returned to their amber hue and he snarled, dropping Jaken to the ground. "If you ever harm her again or question my words to my face on any subject, I will destroy you. Do not touch her. Speak to her with the respect you show me and never make her cry. Her tears… Are unacceptable." He said with venom. Again, the group was stunned to silence at the sudden overwhelming protectiveness and possessiveness of Sesshomaru concerning Kagome. He returned to her side and smoothed her hair gently. "Kagome…" His voice was soft and coaxing. She opened her eyes and met his gaze with fear and pain. "He hurt you. You need to heal your ribs." She nodded and focused her energies so that the bones that had been broken mended with her healing powers.

When she had healed, she leaned against him and let him help her stand. She gathered her things again and smiled faintly that his beast's physical manifestation was still wrapped warmly around her. She pet it softly and sighed, again leaning into his form as he led her away. When they were out of hearing range she gently gripped the fabric of his haori. "Thank you."

He nodded and held her tighter to his side. "There is no need to thank me, though."

"You protected me."

"There was no question."

"Yesterday there would have been."

He paused for a moment and stopped their progress toward the spring. He met her gaze with intensity. "Yesterday, you did not understand. Yesterday, you were my allied enemy. Yesterday is not today and no longer matters. Today you are Kagome who knows… Understands this Sesshomaru and all he was before today. Today you became my responsibility and I accept you without restraint or a second thought. You are not a burden to bear. You are… Simply mine to protect now." He reached up and gently caressed her cheek. He felt himself warm faintly when she leaned into his touch. "You are mine."

She nodded and slipped back into his embrace with an ease that frightened her, but only slightly. _He's the same Taiyoukai who threatened my life yesterday, and I don't care. He's more the boy to me now… The boy whose pain I shared and who is so gently and tenderly looking after me. He's right… Yesterday is not today and no longer matters. He's claimed me and I… I am glad he has._


	5. Chapter 5

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Not mine. Never will be.**_

**May be Heaven's Distant Lamps**

_(From "The Fire of Driftwood")_

… … … … …

_We spake of many a vanished scene,_

_Of what we once had thought and said,_

_Of what had been, and might have been,_

_And who was changed, and who was dead;_

_And all that fills the hearts of friends,_

_When first they feel, with secret pain,_

_Their lives thenceforth have separate ends,_

_And never can be one again;_

_The first slight swerving of the heart,_

_That words are powerless to express,_

_And leave it still unsaid in part,_

_Or say it in too great excess._

_The very tones in which we spake_

_Had something strange, I could but mark;_

_The leaves of memory seemed to make_

_A mournful rustling in the dark._

… … … … …

_Until they made themselves a part_

_Of fancies floating through the brain,_

_The long-lost ventures of the heart,_

_That send no answers back again._

_O flames that glowed! O hearts that yearned!_

_They were indeed too much akin,_

_The drift-wood fire without that burned,_

_The thoughts that burned and glowed within._

_Longfellow_

Silence has a life of its own, often. It is borne when least expected and grows around those nearest with strangling vines made of the stilled chords of words waiting to be spoken still hanging ambient in the dark. Sesshomaru stood with his back to the spring where Kagome was readying for her bath. There was a point in their short walk to the spring when he had faltered in his speech and retreated into his own thoughts and the thoughts of his ever present beast.

_There is no reason to reconsider. She is ours._

_'She is ours because, for a few moments, I was so stunned by her admission that she had wanted to share my memories and experiences that I allowed you to take control while this Sesshomaru regrouped.'_

_This Sesshomaru seems to remember That Sesshomaru being "stunned" for much longer than a few moments, if indeed That Sesshomaru was really stunned at all._

_'She stole our past and our pain. She is a miko. She knew what would happen, certainly. It is a rouse.'_

_It is not. This Sesshomaru knows better. She holds no deception in her scent nor the kind of cruelty in her soul necessary to do as you believe she did. This Sesshomaru even knows why you fight the truth we both know already._

_'Silence beast. We know nothing because You are mistaken.'_

_Where is your proof? I know because this Sesshomaru sensed her heart when her aura touched ours. You cannot sense such things. You are incapable of such things while we are separate. And still, this Sesshomaru restates that he knows why that Sesshomaru wishes to turn tail and run like a scared pup._

For a moment he had to restrain himself. He wanted to rip mokomokosama from his shoulder and tear out some of the soft billowy fur to emphasize his own point, but then he stopped himself. _'You are lucky This Sesshomaru is NOT a pup, beast.'_

_You only realize that the pain you inflict upon me would only be upon yourself. Luck had nothing to do with it._

_'Again, I say, she is a miko. She is human. Just like Midoriko. Midoriko who allied herself to my father, shackled him forever to the pitiful members of her race and then, in her weakness, created that blasted jewel. The only consolation this Sesshomaru has is that she will be locked within the jewel in perpetual war and torment until I am able to end the existence of the Shikon no Tama forever.'_

_Kagome is Not Midoriko._

_'She might as well be.'_

_You say this for only one reason._

_'Silence.'_

_Make me._

_'You push too far.'_

_I only push myself. You are being unreasonable, as always. You, who ignore me until your temper overwhelms you and forces me to overtake you in order to keep you sane and to curtail your power. You, who could not control his anger time and time again concerning our brother, our father's sword and Kagome, placing us both in peril because your rage had festered so long. You, who almost killed the one person who now can understand and bring us solace after so very long. This Sesshomaru asks That Sesshomaru, with all honesty, which he thinks really is the beast between us._

_'Silence! You have no place!'_

_I have every place within you. I am you. Once we were not so separate. Once, when your heart was not so cold and your mind not so jaded, there was no This Sesshomaru and That Sesshomaru. There was only I and Me and he who was the killing perfection._

_'You are only emotion and mindless instinct! You have no place in This Sesshomaru!'_

_You lie to me. You lie to yourself. Mindless instinct? Only emotion? These are the things you cut away from yourself. This is the reason our father disowned us, not because you decided that you would not uphold his treaty with Midoriko. He saw it. He saw that you had lost your heart to ice and hatred and continually ignored your own instincts. You made yourself half of what you were and, ever since, half of what you could be. Listen now. Listen for once in all of these centuries that we have been two rather than the one. This cannot go on. I will not allow it. Not now when there is one who can bring us back together and heal what was broken._

_'She does not have the power.'_

_Not everything in this world is about power and control. There is something in her that calls to me and to you. She draws us through her compassion, her beauty and through the one thing we both lack because we are so completely divided._

_'Which is?'_

_Strength._

_'This Sesshomaru IS strong.'_

_No, he is not. Neither is this Sesshomaru. Not by ourselves. We are powerful, cunning, dangerous and deadly. But we are not strong. We are alone together and we are so very cold. Rin will leave us someday. Someday we will kill Jaken, for he is so much more than annoying. Miyoko is gone. Without warmth, we are only ice. Kagome melts that. Even before now, we envied Inuyasha for what he found in her. We envied the mongrel wolf only for his friendship with her. We even envied the Kitsune for the love she shows to him as his mother. It is time that we learn what we want and stop fighting it. _

_'But she is human.'_

_Does it really matter so much? There is so much hate and ice dividing us, I wonder if you can even grasp why you hate them so much. Why you hate at all._

_'I know why I hate.'_

_No, you know the reason you hate. You know what its catalyst was. You do not know why you hate so deeply and why, even after taking Rin as our ward and loving her as we did our sister, you cannot accept that if we can love her, forgive her, perhaps we could forgive others. You do not know why. You do not want to know._

_'You have already said so much. Why not say this too?'_

_You are not ready for the truth this Sesshomaru has to share with you._

_'Are you so certain?'_

_Yes. It would destroy you._

Sesshomaru's beast was playing a dirty and dangerous game. He was aware of it. He had been sequestered, denied and separated from himself for so long, though, without any hope of healing that he was willing to be reckless. And so, keeping in mind that forcing Sesshomaru to lose control could result in the loss of the girl who so obliviously was soaking in the warmth of the spring only a few yards away, he continued because it was his only chance to finally free them both from the prison their past had created for them.

_'You insult This Sesshomaru! Tell me now. I am not weak. I have never been weak!'_

_You hate humanity, Midoriko, our parents, our brother and the Shikon no Tama so deeply because if you let go of your hatred, you are afraid that you will collapse. We have wanted, needed for so long to be understood and the chance is before us with outstretched arms and a welcoming heart and still you fight learning to forgive because if you forgive her, you will have to forgive all of the rest. And if you forgive all of the rest you fear that there will be nothing left of you because you have only known hatred for so long. This Sesshomaru knows. He remembers. He is your heart and he still feels… Everything._

_'I am not afraid… I am strong. I am…'_

_Ashamed._

_'Yes.'_

_The miko is not ashamed of you. The miko… She has shared, by accident, our past. She wants to help us heal. This Sesshomaru cannot let her in and make her ours, but That Sesshomaru can. He has to or else we might never have another chance to become who it was we were meant to be. She could help us forgive ourselves and free us from our shame if we only allow her to. Can we allow her to? Can we try?_

For a moment, mokomokosama went rigid with anticipation. They needed her. Every hair adorning him screamed instinctually that she was the key to ending their isolation and separation. If only he, That Sesshomaru, would, for once, relent. A relevant truth of every ice age is that even glaciers will melt away in time with enough warmth from the sun.

_'We can. We will… Because she understands and because… Her heart reminds us of our own before it became broken.'_

_There was never more truth in your deductions._

_'Gloat if you must, but I will have a patch of fur for it.'_

In his mind there was only the mirthful laughter of a very satisfied, very amused beast.

_Let me review the scene, _

_And from the shadowy past_

_The forms that once have been._

_Longfellow_

She looked out onto the gardens surrounding her palace with a heavy heart and laden memory. Her fingers danced along Meidou-Seki in a fervent caress and sighed as it warmed to her touch. "I never thought I'd live so long without him. I never thought my heart could survive after he died, but I had an obligation to fulfill to our children. He had written a letter to me shortly before he died with a detailed plan if our son ever came seeking me. Even when it was only in ink and the graceful hand in which he wrote, I could not deny him. But love does that. It takes away your will when it's true. It makes you helpless to the whim of your beloved even when you know he has not been as true to you. I know you are wondering, or would be wondering, why it is that I never took another mate once we severed our bond even when he did. The simple, painful fact is no one else could fill the place he took up in my heart. We instinctually recognized each other from the first moment we met, and so the beast within was sated as soon as that first kiss was claimed. At least I was sated, I mean. Yes, there is bitterness. There will always be bitterness. But, then, when a dog swears his loyalty to his master, his bitch has very little chance of keeping her place in his heart. Or, in Inu no Taisho's case, to his mistress. And then there was the hanyou, Inuyasha, who he placed over our son. It twisted the already buried daggar in my heart. I still believe if he'd been more patient with Sesshomaru, if he'd only allowed himself to see how broken our son really was, perhaps he would have relented and I would never have had to leave, taking what they both held as sacred…"

Satori turned from the window and walked toward the shining pillar of light in the center of the room. "You." The word came falling off her lips in reverence as she focused her gaze on the beautiful girl trapped within the glowing prison. She let her fingers graze over the barrier and trembled when the energy seared her flesh. The lovely Inuyoukai girl, barely in her adolescence, floated within the energy unharmed and forever stilled. She was dressed in a flowing gown made of pale pink veils and her hair fell free. Her face was so calm and peaceful. She was very much her father's daughter. Satori ached to see her daughter's eyes open again and look at her with the depth of her emotions as their expressions traveled from her eyes and possessed her very being as Satori's emotions never did. They never escaped the prisons of her eyes.

She remembered the day that it all had began. They had been living on the continent for a century happily and without any strife. Satori had taken her daughter to her father's palace hidden deep in a forest on a hill. It was a simple dwelling surrounded and managed by simple people. Satori had grown up there and so she had decided it would be a suitable place for her Miyoko.

That was until the day came that Miyoko had trapped her mother in a conversation Satori had been able to escape for little less than a hundred years.

"I want to know why we left them, Mother. I need to know. Sesshomaru needed me. He needed us and we abandoned him and Father." Her daughter was as willful and stubborn as both her parents, but she'd inherited more than her features from her father. She'd inherited his charisma and ability to manipulate anyone she wished. Her voice was not angry or cold. Much to the contrary, it was confused, innocent and pleading. Three things Satori knew very well her daughter was not.

She sighed and shook her head. She closed her eyes and collected her thoughts before she had answered Miyoko's question. "Your father noticed a rift in Sesshomaru's soul the day that your brother confessed he would not uphold the alliance forged with Midoriko once he became Taiyoukai of the west. Rather than attempt to remedy your brother's plight, he decided that he would sire another son to take his place."

"Father… Wouldn't do that."

"You are your father's daughter. It is only natural you would believe him incapable of such actions, but he was."

"Then there must have been more to it for him to have denied Sesshomaru." Judging the chill in her mother's eyes, Miyoko was certain there must have been. "Tell me. Please."

Satori studied her daughter and wondered if she was ready for the truth. It was something she and Inu no Taisho had never spoken of since they had been made aware of it. She, in fact, had ensured that no one else ever knew what they had learned because of the implications it created. "If I tell you, it will go no further than this room. Do you understand? I killed some very powerful, very important youkai in order to keep this secret."

Miyoko's eyes widened, but she replied with a slight nod. "I will tell no one, Mother."

"It began with the creation of the Shikon no Tama. The jewel is the prison of an evil youkai's soul and the pure soul of Midoriko where the two battle, maintaining the balance of a world within a world. That is how the sage coined it. _ A world within a world._" Her eyes flashed with bitterness at the memory. "The sage came to us, your father and I, and said that he had come to deliver a prophecy about the jewel. At that time the jewel was in your father's possession and no one but he and I knew of its existence. The sage told us of the nature of the jewel and how its power could enhance both evil and good. If the jewel was ever purified completely or tainted completely, the war within it would be won and either humanity or youkai would cease to exist."

"They would… Simply disappear?" Miyoko's voice was frightened and Satori knew very well that her fear was not a manipulation. She did not blame her. She had been afraid because of the revelation as well.

"Not exactly. Those souls who were either born youkai or human would be reborn instantaneously as their flesh was transmuted into the race of the victor within the jewel. If it became entirely tainted, the world would become youkai. So would be the case if it were entirely purified. The world would become human." She paused and looked down at her hands. If she focused long enough she could still feel the sage's throat in her hands as she crushed it while Miyoko had still be heavy in her womb. "But there was still more to his prophecy. He told us that he had a vision of a Inuyoukai whose soul had split in two in possession of the Shikon no Tama. He said that this Inuyoukai destroyed the jewel in a fit of rage over the death of his lover. Because the war within the jewel had never been decided and the soul who was its destroyer was not whole to begin with, it opened a rift that slowly devoured the world, causing all who lived to be devoured by the void. The rift also devoured heaven and hell until there was nothing left but a great black space without substance, purpose or life."

"You think… The Inuyoukai is Sesshomaru." Miyoko breathed in honest, shattering fear. She stood instantly and met her mother's gaze with fearful determination. "This is your fault and father's fault. We are going back."

Satori stood and grabbed the hair at the nape of her daughter's neck sharply in order to establish dominance. "Remember who you are speaking to, Miyoko. I am your mother and you are not yet grown enough to be questioning me or your father."

Miyoko sat once her hair was released and rubbed her neck gently and with care. "We can't leave him if that's his fate, Mother. He wouldn't want to be the reason to destroy the world."

"Honestly, if humanity was certain to be destroyed, I doubt he would care."

"That is unfair."

"Miyoko, know your place."

"I know my place, Mother. I have always known it, or have you forgotten the very words that came from your mouth when I was only barely able to understand them? _Your place is with your family, defending them, supporting them, loving them always. Without them you are nothing but an empty shell following a lost cause._"

There was nothing to say to counter her daughter. To counter her was to counter herself and Satori did not have the will nor the desire to make herself into a liar. It became blindingly clear that Miyoko was as ruthless as her father as well in the matters of the heart.

They had returned to Japan and Satori's palace that had been given to her by her mate as a wedding gift centuries before. They had been there only a few days when the unthinkable had happened. Miyoko had been out alone in the forests surrounding the palace. It was her most beloved pastime to walk in nature and listen to the music of the forest as it sang, unwaveringly, around her. When her daughter did not return for the evening meal, Satori went seeking her. She found her beautiful daughter near death on the forest floor bathed in the scent of dragon youkai. They had been on a rampage following the sealing of Ryukotsusei, killing any Inuyoukai they came upon. But Miyoko was not dead. Her mokomokosama was, however, meaning she would soon follow her beast into the afterlife. Satori had cradled her daughter in her arms and taken her home along with the shredded mokomokosama and summoned the nearest miko. Purifying energy was not enough to kill an Inuyoukai of Miyoko's lineage, but it was enough to place her into stasis until there was a way to save her life. Satori had bartered with the miko and made a pact that she would defend the woman's nearby village until the end of her days if the miko would expend her life energies to save Miyoko's life. Since then, Satori had kept her pact and found herself in the same tangle her beloved mate had been in that had caused their son to hate him so completely.

"I cannot bring myself to tell him the truth, Miyoko. I know seeing you, trapped between life and death, would cause the prophecy to come true more readily than any other thing could. If this barrier did not so completely hide your presence, he would have found you. We, again, have much to thank the miko who sacrificed her self to save you for. Maybe someday Kami will be kind and I will see your beautiful eyes open again and hear your voice raised in argument with me. I promise I would not be so cross with you, sweet child." She sighed and let her gaze fall to the floor. She'd made so many mistakes. She hoped that letting Sesshomaru leave without knowledge of his sister's fate would not be listed among them.


	6. Chapter 6

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Not mine. Never will be.**_

**A Conversation in His Eyes /b **

_(From "Hyperion")_

_Who ne'er his bread in sorrow ate,_

_Who ne'er the mournful midnight hours_

_Weeping upon his bed has sate,_

_He knows you not, ye Heavenly Powers._

… … … …

_Something the heart must have to cherish,_

_Must love and joy and sorrow learn;_

_Something with passion clasp, or perish_

_And in itself to ashes burn._

_Longfellow_

She slipped slowly into the heated waters of the spring that he had found her. He was respectfully turned away from her and she found that it bothered her. She couldn't place why, but she wanted him nearer to her. "Sesshou…" She said softly and noticed as his form turned ever so slightly so she could see the faint outline of his face. "You may come closer if you wish. I don't mind."

"I risk seeing your nakedness. I know little of human custom, but I do understand that females especially value their modesty… Though your clothing has never been exactly modest." He replied and she thought she could hear a smile hidden within his words.

"You're right about both points… But I trust you, Sesshou. I know you will not let your eyes linger on me if they fall on somewhere that might damage my modesty."

He paused only a moment and then stood. He turned and walked to the edge of the spring and sat on the rocky bed. His gaze never fell from hers as he approached, as if to ensure it never faltered to her form. She noticed, then, as their eyes held each other, that there was so much more behind his gaze than she had known before. The ice had melted away for her and she caught glimpses of his emotions. Worry, protectiveness, warmth and a fierce anger she knew entirely was not meant for her swam in the depths of his liquid amber eyes, though none of them traveled to his face. It was a steely mask, devoid of anything but the intensity innate to his character. Still, when he spoke, the emotions she saw in his eyes were caught up in his voice. His beautiful, silken voice. "Is this better?"

"Yes." She replied in a quiet, timid voice. She smiled faintly and began washing her hair quietly. The scent of the shampoo was a calming mixture of lavender and chamomile she had bought for that express purpose. To calm her after a long day. She slipped under the water and rinsed her hair quickly before slipping back to the surface. The bubbles from her soap made a covering of foam that hid her nakedness under the pure clear water.

"What is that scent?" He asked in curiosity. He'd never smelled anything exactly like it and it peaked his interest. "I have smelled it on you before along with your own scent, but… I could never identify it."

"Chamomile and lavender… They're herbs from Europe." She said softly and smiled faintly as his eyes sparked in question. "Do you know of Europe?"

"Yes. Though I wonder why you would have goods from there."

She found herself caught up in his eyes again. They were so very expressive it was as if he didn't need to speak for her to understand him. "I am… I am not of this time." She confided softly and couldn't help but smile at his confusion. She proceeded to tell him the story of her life from the time that she was pulled through the Bone Eater's Well by Madame Centipede. "And so, I was born five hundred years in the future and, even though I go back and forth between the times, I have decided to make my home here."

"To be near Inuyasha." His voice was calm and his features placid, but anger flashed in his eyes.

She sighed and reached out to him. She moved so the film of bubbles followed her and she touched his hand gently. He looked down at her slender fingers and grasped them gently with his own. "He's like my brother, Sesshou. Yes, I love him and I want him to be happy, but in the same way I wish for Souta, my younger brother." She met the Taiyoukai's eyes and saw the warmth return and the hatred fade. She could almost see some of his disgust for Inuyasha melt away, as if his heart could accept him so long as he did not hold sway over her. "I don't belong to him, Sesshou. I don't want to belong to him."

He nodded, but his eyes still held a faint curiosity. When he spoke, there was faint venom in his voice. "And the mongrel wolf?"

She smiled sadly and rested her head against his thigh. He ran his fingers through her hair soothingly and cared little that the sopping water soaking her hair was seeping into the silk of his clothing down to his skin. "He loves me but I do not love him. He is a friend and an ally and he wants me but I can't see him as anything but my friend. I've… Sometimes I've wanted to. Especially while Kikyo was still around and Inuyasha would rush to her side all of the time. I wanted to love him so I wouldn't be alone, but I couldn't. It seems wrong for me to love him in any way other than the way I do. As my friend."

His hand stilled at the nape of her neck. She lay onto her back so that she could look into his eyes, knowing that his gaze would not drift from where it held her azure pools. He caressed her cheeks and jaw, then her lips, all the while the words he would not say rippled through his gentle, dark honey eyes. "Will you stay in this time, then, only for my brother?" His voice was whispered and covered her, wrapping around her the way his beast, mokomokosama, had to comfort and protect her.

She smiled and gently took his hand. She lay tiny kisses on each of his fingertips and then, fervently against his palm. She closed her eyes halfway as she laid the last kiss upon the calloused curve at the center of his hand just above where it met his wrist. She felt him tremble and returned her eyes to his with warmth and gentleness. She didn't need to answer him. He already knew. She said the words, though, and marveled how his eyes sparkled with light. "No. I will stay for you."

His chest rumbled and she could hear the faintness of what she could only call his laughter as his beast curled from his shoulder and wrapped around her, then pulled her naked form into his lap and held her there. She blushed deeply as he caressed her and then wrapped his arm around her back. His fingers slipped into her hair. She wondered why she did not fear him. She wondered why his presence felt so entirely right and safe. She wondered all of this in the wonder of his touch and closeness, even as he leaned slowly and captured her lips.

She tensed, but only for a moment. He was safety, her heart told her. He was home. The gentle prodding of his tongue caused her to open her mouth to him and he eagerly deepened their kiss. She whimpered and sighed happily as he kissed her. A few tears slipped down her face and the scent was enough to make him stop.

He gently kissed away her tears, drinking their saltiness. "Don't cry, Kagome." He breathed, kissing both of her eyes. His tenderness only drew out more tears, which he, in turn, kissed away. "Why are there tears?"

She reached up and slipped her arms around his neck and rested her head against his collarbone gently. "There are tears because I am happy… And I feel safe with you. Safer than I've ever felt when I'm in this time. Like I'm at home." She whispered and felt more tears fall. He, again, drew his lips to her tears and kissed them away. "You are home." She breathed and felt his beast tighten around her possessively even as Sesshomaru himself was tenderly caressing and holding her flush with his form, separated only by the silk of his clothing.

"I won't let anything or anyone harm you, Kagome." He whispered and captured her lips again in a staggering kiss. He could taste her willingness and heard the quickening of her heartbeat as well as scent her growing arousal. He growled softly and pulled back from their kiss. If he did not stop, he would hurt her. He would damage her after what she had gone through experiencing his memories. "Kagome, I can't. You are… You are fragile and you need to heal. You do not realize it at this moment, but in time you will and I will not endanger… Our closeness."

She frowned softly and met his eyes curiously. "You do not… Want me…"

"No." He said softly, but there was tenderness behind his words and his eyes were flooded with warmth and caring for her. "I want you very much. My beast has already claimed you as much as I have. I memorized your scent and now… I have done the same with your taste and the feel of your skin… The sound of your voice and the warmth of your aura. I know you. Until the end of time, I will know you. But I also know what you experienced. I know and understand the pain you endured because it is my own. And I know what will happen when it all sinks in and you are forced to accept the change it has caused." He leaned toward her and fervently kissed her brow. He closed his eyes and allowed the faintest trace of his aura to meld into hers, marking her as his family. She trembled against him and clung to him even tighter. "If anyone comes near you, they will know you are mine. You are pack as Rin is pack. If, when you are healed, you desire me to take you as more… If you desire me as a mate, I will mark you as such and make you mine, but I will not now. I cannot."

She nodded her head slowly and then looked up to meet his gaze. His eyes were still so very expressive. She could see the thread already running through his eyes that caused them to sparkle every time his amber claimed her sapphire pools. So much concern and worry. Such a depth of emotion that she felt it engulf and hold her and, in those fleeting moments, she felt entirely loved and cherished. She caressed his jaw and smiled faintly.

He knew that she trusted him, needed him and longed for his presence always. He was so strong. So much stronger than Inuyasha and still so much more fragile in all the ways that counted. She wondered how she could have never seen this part of him before. But she knew. It was because of his secret. He could love as deeply and unquestioningly as she was able to. If she had endured what he had endured before she had taken on his memories, she would be as icy and withdrawn as he was. She could have never trusted or let anyone near her. He knew what hurt her. He knew what would harm her and he would not engage in causing that harm. And for that, she loved him entirely. Trusted him entirely. Needed him completely. Needed him to be complete.

He pulled her against him and kissed her tenderly. He would have to take her back to camp soon and he desperately needed this moment with her.

Somewhere, deep in the blackness between the trees, the ebony eyes of a girl bedecked in white, watched the scene as it played out before her. She was hidden and far enough out of the Taiyoukai and miko's senses for them not to locate her presence. She was not, however, trying to focus across the distance. She was looking into her mirror.

Curled in the embrace of the fearsome Taiyoukai, Sesshomaru, was the fragile, beautiful miko naked except for the manifestation of Sesshomaru's beast. It curled around her hip, hiding her mound and then curled softly around the whole of her leg on the side not pressed to its master. It then encircled her ankle in a possessive hold. It slipped around her abdomen and up her torso like a sling where it held to its master's shoulder to support her weight, allowing the Inuyoukai the freedom to caress the milky skin not covered by mokomokosama. The girl was clinging to his torso gently, languidly lying with her head tilted back as Sesshomaru kissed her with tenderness and passion.

Some great distance away, Naraku watched the scene through Kana's matching mirror and felt his lips curl in a snarling smile. _Wonderful. Exactly what I need. A third warrior in love with this pitiful slip of a girl, willing to die for her._ He continued to watch as the lovers parted from their kiss and slowly from their intimate embrace. He watched as Sesshomaru turned his back as she dressed herself and then as he slipped his arm around her waist to walk her back to the encampment of his enemies. He felt the snarl slip from the smile as malevolent mirth overtook him and he laughed in a dark, deep baritone. _Oh, Sesshomaru. I believe I have a beautiful idea forming in my mind. Unfortunately it means that you will be stripped of our darling little miko, but then again… You are already used to loss. If how you reacted to losing Rin is any indication of how you might react, to what I can only guess you have decided is your future mate and mother of your children, I do believe that this will be very, very gratifying indeed._

_No one is so accursed by fate,_

_No one so utterly desolate,_

_But some heart, though unknown,_

_Responds unto his own._

_Longfellow_

It was the way that she wove the silver of his hair in her fingers as she slept that caught his attention so completely. How the slender digits twined the strands loosely and yet fervently even as her mind drifted in dreams that was making everything so overwhelmingly apparent. It did not help that it was the first time in his memory that the Taiyoukai seemed so peaceful and that he reclined so that she could comfortably rest against his chest or even that the manifestation of his beast was curled around her to keep her warm in an overly possessive manner. But he was certain that what it was which so brought him to attention was those beautiful, delicate fingers of hers as she spun the liquid silver of his hair gently in the moonlight.

It was driving the hanyou to madness and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He watched his brother and Kagome curled near the fire from the tree branch where he was settled. She had opened her sleeping bag for the both of them to rest on. Sesshomaru who, in all their other gatherings to discuss Naraku, usually sat up all evening without sleeping, had given in to Kagome's desires and had settled himself on her sleeping bag and then had mokomokosama curl around her to keep her warm. His only arm was wrapped around her gently and held her hip possessively with a firm but loving grip. One of her legs was wrapped around his in an innocent and, somehow, entirely not innocent way that was causing even more distraction to his ability to keep watch.

"Y'know…" Came Kouga's voice from the branch beneath his. "As much as this is driving us both insane, they do have an effect on each other. Sesshomaru actually seems to be thawing out and Kagome… I thought I'd seen her happy before. Now I know what it really looks like to see joy in her heart."

"I think she's in love with him." The words rolled off his tongue and burnt with their truth. He knew he was supposed to love her as a sister. He knew she loved him as a brother, but it didn't matter. For so long, she'd been his. Only his. He had to let her go and he knew it, but knowing didn't make it any easier to release his hold.

Kouga sighed faintly. "And he is in love with her. He's claimed her as part of his pack… The way he looks at her, holds her, even his stance says it though his face and words don't. Maybe only to her."

Inuyasha frowned even deeper as he turned his attention back to Kagome. Her sleep was becoming fitful. He could scent her tears and, apparently, so could his brother. Sesshomaru sat up and gently nudged her while mokomokosama began a slow, rolling caress over her body.

She whimpered and sobbed softly. Her mind was caught up in Sesshomaru's memory of his brutalization and she could not escape. "Please…" Her voice caught in a broken whisper, begging. "Please stop…"

Sesshomaru frowned and Inuyasha felt a chill pass through him. The only time his brother ever showed any emotion in his features was when something horrible was about to happen. Though he sensed no dark intent from the Taiyoukai toward Kagome, Inuyasha was certain that if the dream could have manifested into real life, he would have torn it asunder for making the beautiful raven haired girl cry. "Kagome…" His voice was soft at first and soothing, though full of concern. When she didn't respond he leaned foreward and nipped her ear gently. She whimpered and her fingers gripped at the silk of his robes. She held on for dear life, seeming to recognize the feeling of the fabric in her hands.

"Sesshou…" She gasped, still caught in sleep and her nightmare as it mercilessly continued. "Please… Please…"

She began to weep and he found he could stand it no longer. He shook her forcibly, but not enough to harm her and barked her name sharply. She screamed and then her eyes flashed open in confusion. She pressed her face into his chest and shook with tears. He wrapped himself around her as tightly as he could and held her, silently cursing himself and the loss of his arm. He wanted to hate Inuyasha for that, but he had made a mistake. An error. And Inuyasha had gotten lucky. His desire to protect Kagome had activated their father's sword and given him the momentary ability to take the opportunity Sesshomaru's lack of control and over inflated ego had given him. Still, he held the miko close to him and whispered soft words to her, too soft for the wolf and mutt to hear from where he knew they were watching.

He knew they thought he was sleeping, but he had not been. He had wanted to lay with his Kagome and be near her while still having the opportunity to listen to their conversations without their knowledge. But he could not abide her tears and terror as his nightmares overtook her whole existence. "It's alright, miko. You are safe." He whispered and felt her nod where he held her against his chest. A tremor passed through her. "They are only nightmares. They will fade away in time, I promise you."

"How l-long did it take… For you?"

He sighed faintly and kissed her brow gently, allowing her mark to react with his aura to calm her more quickly than her mind and body would allow naturally. When she'd settled, he answered her. "Over a century."

She laughed softly, but there was bitterness to the sound of it. "I don't think I'll last that long."

"As you are currently, no you will not." He sought her lips and kissed her with an infinite tenderness. "Perhaps one day if you wish to be my mate and I mark you fully, you will meld and fuse with me and my immortality will be yours. So long as I live, you will never age or die, just as my father's mortal mate did not until he passed."

She smiled and gently pressed her brow to his, closing her eyes. "You would take me into forever?"

Her voice stirred his emotions and he had a hard time controlling the beast that ached to claim and mark her in that very instant. _Kami, I need to control myself or I will frighten her and drive her away._ He kissed her again gently and with fervor. "I would and will when you have healed a bit more if you wish. When the memories calm and Naraku is defeated utterly."

"Why until then?" She breathed and again he found himself having to fight for control.

"Because he could use us against each other. The bond would be easy to detect for anyone with demonic blood, acquired or gifted through lineage. So long as he does not know we are connected, you are safe… Or at least safer. It is enough that he could use you against Inuyasha and Kouga's affections knowingly. He cannot know how easily he could manipulate me."

"You are protecting me."

"Always." He murmured and kissed her again, then settled her back against his chest. "Sleep, Kagome. You need to rest. I will watch over you if the nightmares return."

"Yes, Love." She breathed and felt the happy rumble in his chest where her head rested from his approval at her words. Slowly she drifted off with the relaxing motion of his hand along her shoulder and side and the tender grip at her hip with every pass along the length of her. The manifestation of his beast gently caressed her as it wrapped more possessively around her in a protective, all too animalistic way. She knew she was safe. She knew she was home and so, drifted off to sleep with that knowledge.

Inuyasha sighed in defeat and none too gently hit the back of his head against the bark of the tree. He looked at his hand and frowned deeply. _Once I could have been Love to her. Once, a long time ago, if I'd only understood what everyone seemed to know about the clay golem of Kikyo animated with the fissure of Kagome's soul, she would be my mate and not the woman who calls me her brother. Who am I kidding? I will never be able to love her as a sister. Maybe a friend, in time… Seeing her happy with my brother will ensure that. I could never take her away from what made her truly happy. But as a sister… My heart can't change that much._

His eyes floated down to where Kagome lay against Sesshomaru. Sleep had already claimed her and now those beautiful, traitorous fingers were gently gripping the silk of his haori, caressing along the grain of the fabric in slow, sleepy, languid motions. He realized what she was doing. Her subconscious was recognizing that he was still present, holding her close to him. The silk of his robes, the twine of his hair all allowed her to establish his presence when her dreaming mind was disconnected from the real world. Inuyasha wondered silently if he'd ever held her in his arms while she slept, whether her fingers would have done the same along the fabric of his clothing or in his stray locks of white or whether they would have remained still. _I'll never know._ He thought, mournfully. _And I am the lesser man for it._


	7. Chapter 7

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Not mine. Never will be.**_

**She Floats Upon the River of His Thoughts**

_(From "Evangeline")_

_Neither locks had they to their doors nor bars to their windows;_

_But their dwellings were open as day and the hearts of the owners;_

_There the richest was poor and the poorest lived in abundance._

… … … … …

_And as she looked around, she saw how Death the consoler,_

_Laying his hand upon many a heart, healed it forever._

_Longfellow_

She stirred and sighed softly. His eyes opened as she began to move from him. "What is the matter?" He asked softly so that his voice didn't disturb those who were sleeping.

She smiled and kissed the end of his nose, causing it to wrinkle. She giggled softly and smoothed his bangs from his brow to reveal the indigo crescent. "Nothing. I need to go to the bushes for a moment. I'll be back."

His eyes sparkled with mischief faintly and nodded. "I suppose you do not want a guard."

She covered her mouth so she did not laugh and wake the camp. "No. Don't be silly. I'll be right back." She said again and walked toward the outskirts of camp to relieve herself. Once out of hearing range, she did her business and began to turn back toward the camp when she heard the faint rustle of dead leaves and earth a few yards away. She froze and frowned, then extended her senses to where she thought the sound originated. As she did, a dark energy captured her thoughts and pushed into her mind with a jarring force. She was caught in blackness before she could begin to draw breath. Before she could call out for Sesshomaru.

When she did not return after a few moments, he did not worry. When a few moments became ten, then fifteen, he found that his worry was making its appearance. He sat up slowly and looked in the direction that she had walked and contemplated if inciting her ire was worth following her. When fifteen minutes became twenty, he didn't care any more. He stood and grabbed Tokijin in his hand and then followed her scent out into the forest.

"Where are you going?" His brother's voice came in a whisper from above.

He paused, but did not look up. "She has been gone too long."

"So you're stalking her?"

"Call it what you wish." He responded and continued out into the forest. Inuyasha followed.

When her scent ended a short distance from where she had relieved herself and there was no sign of her, the brothers met their gazes with a sudden understanding. "Come back if you can't find her by dawn."

"Yes." Replied the Taiyoukai before he raced into the black of the forest in the hopes of discovering her scent again.

Inuyasha ran back to the camp and roused the others. Miroku frowned as he sat up from his place next to Sango.

"What's the matter, Inuyasha?"

"Kagome is gone." He replied and met Miroku's gaze meaningfully. "We have to find her."

As the camp was roused and put on alert, Sesshomaru sped through the forest with the ease that his demonic lineage granted. Had he not been so blessed, he never would have caught the miniscule scent that he passed by.

He stopped short and looked toward a tree several yards away from him. It was actually a sapling only a decade away from becoming a tree. Its bark was thin and vulnerable. Deeply embedded in the flesh of the trunk was an arrow piercing a slip of paper. He tore the paper from the arrow and read slowly the words that had been written.

_If you wish to regain her, you will return to camp and wait. I will send her back in one piece to you, Taiyoukai of the West. If you love her, you will do as I say._

It bore no signature, however the scent of the paper and arrow betrayed the hand that penned it. His name was like poison in Sesshomaru's mouth. _Naraku… He has my Kagome and he knows._ Sesshomaru looked down and knelt so that he could hold his eyes level with the other item that the arrow had pinned to the sapling. He reached out and touched the ebony silk that had been roughly braided, then severed from his beloved's head. He took the fine strands gently, as if he were reaching out to take Kagome's hand, and then slipped the onyx waves into the folds of his robes. He fought the acid from surfacing and disintegrating the note left by the evil hanyou, Naraku. Perhaps the monk could locate or track him with what he left. He reached out again and tore the arrow from the tree to bring back for good measure. _Save your venom._ Came the voice of his beast. _Save it for the one who took her. Our mate._

"Indeed." He breathed as he envisioned his poison melting away Naraku's face slowly. For an instant the forest hushed and even the breeze seemed to tremble in fear as Sesshomaru smiled.

The surest pledge of a deathless name 

_Is the silent homage of thoughts unspoken._

_Longfellow_

She woke slowly, escaping the blackness that had claimed her what felt like an eternity before. Her vision was greeted with further blackness and, quickly, she felt the familiar pressure of panic as it rose from her stomach and into her throat. She covered her mouth with both hands and sobbed sharply as she tried to restrain her scream. She shivered from the chill in the damp air. The ground she lay upon was rocky and, nearby, she could hear the gurgling of some flowing water. She couldn't guess where she was. She could guess, though, from the chill and the absence of any clothing covering her, that who ever had taken her possessed some cruel intention. A fate worse than death, had someone asked her to describe what she thought might occur. Sesshomaru's memories were fresh in her mind's eye and in the sensations of her own body. His had been a soul killing experience and so it was that fate that surpassed even death in her mind. She gasped softly as she fought back her tears and then touched the nape of her neck to find fine short hairs rather than her long drape of midnight. _They cut off my hair!_ Her heart skipped as she remembered that Sesshomaru's hair had been cut as well. _Who is doing this? Why? Why would they do this? Could they know what happened?_

"Yes, miko, I know exactly what memories reside in your psyche. The Taiyoukai of the West's most terrible memories all caught up in painful panorama in your innocent mind." He laughed cruelly as she recognized his voice and screamed. He laughed in satisfaction as the girl who caused him such great pain pushed her self against the jagged walls of the cavern beneath his most recent fortress. "This place dampens the holy purification powers that have been such a thorn in my side for so long, miko. Do not fight me or you will find yourself worse off than I intend for you."

"Why? Why are you doing this?"

"Is it not obvious? The three warriors who rally to your side all are in love with you, Kagome. If I break you, I will break them. And so I have chosen the one thing I know will tear you to pieces, thanks to the rather loud memories you experienced of Sesshomaru. I could sense your trauma from my fortress and I have witnessed the outcome of your connection through pain with the Taiyoukai. He wishes you for his mate. He will take you, I am certain, in the not so distant future and you are so very willing to oblige." Naraku's lips snarled into a vicious smile, though she could not see it. "I will leave you with those thoughts and return in time. You see, I am not going to rape you now, pretty Kagome. Not until the fear runs off of you as purely as the river runs through this cave. Do not attempt to escape. I have a barrier around this cave that will keep you here which only I can pass through. This is my oubliette meant especially for you, not so I can forget you but so you can forget yourself and what it is to be whole. So you see, there is no escape."

She heard him walk away and then there was only the sound of the river and the aching thud of her own heartbeat. Panic had gripped her and suddenly, it did not matter what Naraku had said. She needed to escape. She had to try. She moved toward the sound of the water and found the shallow underground river. She followed it along the pool where the beginnings of it fell from the ceiling to its end. When she reached it, she found herself thrown back in an agonizing jolt of black, malevolent energy. She crashed into the sharp, rocky bed of the river, cutting her back in many places. She sobbed and curled into a knot where she had fallen. The jolt had shocked her to her senses. She was trapped. There was no escaping.

"Sesshou…" She breathed and ran her fingers through her hair. He wouldn't turn away from her, she knew this. They had shared his violation and torment and he would be able to understand hers. All she had to do now was endure. She had to survive and not let Naraku break her. _I can survive this. He loves me. I can survive anything._

Naraku watched the miko from Kana's mirror in his chambers and chuckled ruefully as he heard the girl's thoughts. Since the rush of energy when she absorbed Sesshomaru's memories, he had been able to key into her thoughts and emotions with frightening ease. It was like having a pathway directly into her soul, which he had only discovered by accident when he'd been watching her with Sesshomaru by the spring the evening before. It had enabled Kana to sneak up on her and incapacitate her while his puppet and the girl left his message and returned the miko to him. He could already feel the connection with her waning, though. It was a temporary rift that he was certain extended to everyone that had been in range of the burst, however he was the only one to have noticed it and then, monopolized on it with her capture. "I am sorry, pretty Kagome." He said in his deep, sinfully smooth voice. He caressed the mirror along her knotted form still in the chilly underground river. "But I cannot allow you to survive. Your soul will break and so will your heart because when I return you to your Taiyoukai, he will never want you again, you will be so very ruined. Fear not, though. When I defeat him and the rest of your raggle taggle band, I will still want you. And someday, I am certain when there is nothing else left for you, you will want me."

As the sun began to rise over the horizon, Naraku shifted impatiently. He wanted to leave her there longer, but his own desire was slowly getting the better of him. He had never had Kikyo before she'd perished, either as flesh or clay. Often he'd lie awake and wonder what she would have felt like. Once Kagome had regained the whole of her soul again, the face of Kikyo had been replaced by the younger, less experienced Kagome and Naraku, not caring that she would only ever be an imitation of Kikyo, had decided that, had he ever gotten the chance to take her, he would ruin the little miko as brutally as he could for all his years of frustration over Kikyo.

_But often times celestial benedictions_

_Assume this dark disguise._

_Longfellow_

Sango watched as the Taiyoukai of the West slowly bent the blades of grass beneath his feet into the earth. They would not break. Grass has a resiliency from a natural flexibility, graced to it by the divine. With enough passes along the same course, Sesshomaru would ensure that the grass became sod with the dirt beneath it if he continued along his furious path of pacing. _He's so worried about her… There's nothing but ice in him now, but below the surface it must be killing him._ She turned her gaze to where her beloved was meditating over the items Sesshomaru had brought back with him. The letter had been read quietly by the monk and then folded and placed on the ground near the arrow and the thick braid of Kagome's hair. Sesshomaru had been more reluctant to surrender that item to Miroku. For a moment he had caressed the silken length with his thumb as he stared at the ground before he had relinquished it into the monk's hands.

Now the lecherous monk sat with all three items lined up before where he sat with his eyes closed and his staff lain over his knees with his fingers wrapped around its shaft. He had been meditating to find his center for several moments before even attempting to begin. His heart had turned over when he had read the letter Sesshomaru had handed to him and then, decided quickly that the information that Naraku had kidnapped Kagome was the only part necessary for anyone else to know. As his mind and thoughts stilled and his emotions calmed, he held his staff out over the items and began a soft, murmuring prayer.

His holy aura pulsed around him as the tracking spell began to activate. His frustration burst into life as he realized that the arrow and letter were untraceable. Naraku had ensured that his position was hidden. _Damn you, Naraku. I won't allow you to have your way. Not with Kagome. If I am correct in your intent, I must find a way to locate you quickly or… What is that? That pulse of energy when I focus on Kagome's hair… I can't track her, but it's almost like… How is this possible?_ He focused along the thin thread of light that his focus on Kagome's hair had revealed. It was so weak and hidden, but it was present. It stretched along a pathway into the mountains to the North only a short distance away. He felt himself slip into her thoughts suddenly.

_Miroku? I have to be dreaming… You can't be real!_

_Kagome, it's me. I don't know how this is possible, but I have found a rapport between our minds. It is strange… I feel more of these threads coming from you. Its like you are connected to… Everything at once…_

_I can't sense what you're talking about… But Naraku was able to slip into my thoughts. It's how he was able to capture me and bring me… Here…_

_Where is here, Kagome? Hurry and tell me, I'm not sure how long I can hold on. There's some sort of barrier pushing me back._

_I'm in a cave that Naraku prepared for me. It dampens my miko powers and has a barrier around it that only he can pass through. Miroku, tell Sesshomaru I love him and I'm sorry. Tell him that I'm trying to be strong but… I'm so afraid._

_Kagome, what's happened? What did Naraku do to you?_

_Nothing… Yet. He left me. He said he is going to rape me so he can break me and break all of you in turn. Especially Sesshomaru and Inuyasha and Kouga. I don't know when he'll come back. Please, Miroku, you have to hurry!_

The barrier is pushing me out, Kagome. You have to hold on. I know where you are now. We will come and save you, I promise. And I won't tell Sesshomaru what you have told me. You will tell him when we rescue you, all right? Don't give up yet. Promise you won't give up.

He could feel his connection with her being pushed away. He could still sense the pathway of light that led to her position, but he knew, shortly, his ability to speak with her would be stripped away.

_I… I promise. Please hurry…_

We will, Kagome. Just hold on. 

The connection between their thoughts was severed and he was jolted back into his body. He gasped and shook with sudden rage. Taking slow, deliberate breaths, he extended his awareness back to the slowly ebbing pathway of light that led to the woman who he'd adopted as his sister long ago. "There you are. Kagome." He whispered and instantly felt all of the eyes that fell on him. "I found her. I know how to reach her, but we have to hurry." He stood and met the smoldering eyes of the Taiyoukai that was now only a few feet away from him. "He has her in an cave he's been preparing for her beneath his castle. It dampens her powers and has a barrier around it that only allows him admission. He's left her alone for now, but he intends to break her, Sesshomaru. We have to leave now or he will fulfill his purpose."

Sesshomaru nodded his head sharply. "Then we will go now. Jaken will remain with Rin and AhUn. It would be best if the Kitsune remains as well as Kohaku in case Naraku attempts retaliation."

"But… I want to help save her!" Shippo cried out and jumped onto Miroku's shoulder. His green eyes were overflowing with worried tears and fear. "Kagome needs all of us! We're her family!"

"Kitsune, I need you to stay with Rin and Kohaku. I trust you to protect my ward. I need you to trust me to save and protect Kagome." Sesshomaru said with a sudden gentleness. It was enough to shock the little Kitsune out of his mourning. He met the Taiyoukai's eyes and nodded faintly. "Thank you. Now we must go. There is not much time."

The group quickly readied themselves to advance on Naraku's palace in the mountains. Miroku had a perfect trajectory on its location and soon they were making their way by air and land toward the where the dark hanyou held their miko, racing time and testing fate in the singular hope that they would not be too late.


	8. Chapter 8

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Not mine. Never will be.**_

**Then Darkness Again and a Silence**

_(From "The Old Clock on the Stairs")_

… … … … …

_By day its voice is low and light;_

_But in the silent dead of night,_

_Distinct as a passing footstep's fall,_

_It echoes along the vacant hall,_

_Along the ceiling, along the floor,_

_And seems to say, at each chamber-door,-_

_"Forever-never!_

_Never-forever!"_

_Through days of sorrow and of mirth, _

_Through days of death and days of birth,_

_Through every swift vicissitude_

_Of changeful time, unchanged it has stood,_

_And as if, like God, it all things saw,_

_It calmly repeats those words of awe,-_

_"Forever-never!_

_Never-forever!"_

… … … … …

_Never here, forever there,_

_Where all parting, pain, and care,_

_And death, and time shall disappear,-_

_Forever there, but never here!_

_The horologe of Eternity_

_Sayeth this incessantly,-_

_"Forever-never!_

_Never-forever!"_

_Longfellow_

She tried to breathe in slow, steady breaths. She tried to count her heartbeats as they thrummed in her ears with every pulse. She tried to focus and see through the blackness at least some form that her surroundings had. She tried to listen to the gentle gurgling song of the water as it flowed and the splash as it fell from some source in the ceiling. She tried to remember how Sesshomaru's hand felt as it caressed along her naked skin and how the warmth and softness of mokomokosama wrapped in ownership around her with such tenderness. She tried to think of a moment other than the one she was living currently. She tried, but she knew he was there. She could smell his scent and it made her almost wretch in disgust. She fought to bring back the scents in her mind of the ones who made her feel safe and loved. Inuyasha, whose scent always carried the clean, life of grass and new leaves blended with the wind and sweat. It wasn't the rank odor of a day of hard work. It was simply the salty musk of exertion on clean skin. Sango, whose scent was dusted with jasmine from her perfume and the leather of her armor that hung to her skin and hair as if it had been woven into her aura. Miroku, whose scent was so thick with incense that it hung to every part of him from the folds of his robes to his hair. Shippo, whose scent was a blending of childhood reverie in the forest and the musk only Kitsune possessed. Sesshomaru… His scent was so new in her memory but it was there more strongly than anyone else's. His clean, yet heady scent that blended many scents into one that was unique to him. In his hair was the faint scent of oil used to condition it that vaguely reminded her of clove. His skin smelled clean and distinctly masculine and predatory which he shared with mokomokosama. His hand carried the soft scent of leather wrapped around the hilt of his swords and his clothing carried the scent of the polish he used to maintain his armor. No scent was greater than the softest whisper and all wove together into something that was distinctly him. She focused on the memory of his touch and his scent with a violent resolve that she would not feel as Naraku's tentacles wrapped around her and drew her out of the chilly waters of the underground stream. That she would not smell his disgusting scent that blended rotting roses and muddied puddles collected from the gutters of rooftops. That she would not hear his voice as he spoke to her, revealing his intent. She tried so hard to hold onto the memory of Sesshomaru. How his voice was like the finest silk wrapping around her in safety when he spoke her name. She had to hold on.

"You will come to enjoy what I am going to do to you, Kagome. You will see. All you need to do is give in." The words were sickening in her ears. She tried to block them from her thoughts. She tried to remember every word Sesshomaru had spoken to her in the last few days. She tried to focus on the inflection in his voice and the beautiful, transfixing sparkle in his eyes that said what he had never said.

_He loves me… He'll come and he'll save me._

She was thrown to the ground harshly with a low sound of disgust from her captor. The sharp gravel cut into her skin painfully, but she didn't cry out. He hadn't begun his assault yet. If he did, she would allow herself to scream, but until then she would fight back her fear and focus on those who were coming. She would focus on Sesshomaru.

"You think he will love you after I am finished with you? Your innocence stripped away. Marked and claimed by one he so despises? Oh, yes, pretty Kagome, I will mark you and claim you. I will ensure that you are mine and he will turn from you in as much disgust as you turn from me now."

"No." Her voice was strong even though her heart was breaking. "He loves me. He knows you would have to force me and he will forgive me."

"You think Sesshomaru, the Taiyoukai of the West could forgive you? When has he ever forgiven anyone? He is only infatuated with you. You shared his memories and it has given him a moment's pause. But that is all it is. When I send you back, he'll turn from you. They all will."

"You don't know." She breathed and hugged her abdomen. "You don't understand. They love me. You can't understand what that means, you can't hope to. You are worse than evil. You are so void of anything other than your hatred and desire for power that you are incapable of love."

"Oh, sweet miko! It is true that I do not love. I was obsessed with Kikyo, I admit it. I am obsessed with you. But you are foolish to believe that simply because I cannot love that I am evil."

"No. You aren't hearing me. You aren't evil, Naraku, because even evil can love. You are worse than evil. You are the void itself, swallowing up everything because you have nothing within yourself."

She fell forward. Suddenly it was hard to breathe. She tried to drag in breath but it would not come. Something was jutting through her chest. She could not see, but she could feel as the piercing pain spread from its origin through her whole body. A solitary tear slipped down her face as the rattle of her final breath escaped and she went limp, impaled upon the steel of a blade.

Naraku pulled the katana from the girl's body and let her fall dead onto the gravel shore. "Pity that your friends arrived before I could finish with you, or even begin for that matter. They are at the gate now, intent on saving you. Intent on killing me. But I will not be here when they arrive. If they're lucky, they will find you in time for the blasted Taiyoukai to save you with his Tesseiga, but I have forged this barrier so that not even Tessaiga can break through it. You see, Kagome, while I would have loved to have broken you and sent you back to them, I had a feeling they would find a way to discover our location and that they would attempt a rescue. Either way, they have lost you and I will be able to take advantage of their pain. Rest well, beautiful Kagome. I hope to come across your next incarnation so we can finish our little game properly."

Naraku turned from the slowly cooling corpse of Kagome and walked toward the small waterfall and ascended through the ceiling to the secret exit on the other side of the mountain. He could sense the soldiers at the gates failing to repel the little band of heroes, intent on a rescue that was already lost.

_Into each life some rain must fall,_

_Some days must be dark and dreary._

_Longfellow_

They had reached the palace gates and, with one stroke of the red Tessaiga, had rushed into battle without pause. The soldiers were golems made of youkai, humans and clay that were animated with the souls of the dead. Sesshomaru and Inuyasha, in tandem, raised their blades and cut through the soldiers with ease as Kouga and Sango cut down the soldiers that were flanking the Inuyoukai and hanyou. Miroku focused his energies and searched for Kagome's life force along the thread of light that connected them.

_Where are you, Kagome? How do we get to you?_ He thought as something akin to desperation throbbed through his heart.

He had almost located an entrance to the cave that was encircled with Naraku's barrier when a sharp pulse passed through him. He gasped and doubled over in agony as he felt a sword pass through his back, impaling him. He looked down to find no offending steel of a katana. Nothing. No blood to stain his hand crimson. Only the pain. His focus was ripped away from the phantom wound to the thin thread of light as it began to stagger and fade all together. "NO!" He yelled and rushed to the front of the fighting, opening his hand and freeing his Kazana and drew in the throng of demons without warning. When he closed his hand and wrapped the beads around his palm, he felt the piercing gaze of a very angry Taiyoukai.

Miroku turned and matched his piercing gaze. "We need to hurry and I didn't have the time to warn you. She's more important than posturing."

Sango knew the tone of Miroku's voice. Something had happened to make him panic and take an almost suicidal risk. "Miroku, what's happened."

The monk turned and started running toward the entry to the cave. "He killed her." He replied to his beloved's inquiry and instantly heard the footfalls of the others as they raced to catch up with him. Sesshomaru was at his side before the rest. "There wasn't time…"

"Do not explain yourself. This Sesshomaru realizes your actions." He responded with a tone of begrudging respect. The monk had acted fearlessly for Kagome's sake and, though he might never say the words, he was grateful for the action even if it had begrudged the Taiyoukai of the West his bloodlust.

The mouth of the cave came into view. Naraku, or the previous inhabitant of the palace, had commissioned a heavy set of wooden doors to keep access to the cave restricted. The dark energy of Naraku's barrier throbbed from behind the doors and sent an ominous wave of anticipation through the group that approached.

Sesshomaru paused a few feet in front of the doors. A deep frown creased his brow and when his brother and Kouga approached hastily, he barked out in a sharp voice. "Stop where you stand."

"Kagome's in there! We have to get to her!" Inuyasha growled and furrowed his dark brows as he looked to his brother.

"If you think I am unaware of who is behind these doors and the urgency with which we are pressed to reach her, you are more of a fool than I've taken you for, Inuyasha." He snarled back in an uneven and dangerous tone. He kept his eyes trained on the long plank that was holding the doors shut. All of his instincts were asserting that he did not have much time. Tesseiga pulsed in its sheath in anticipation and Sesshomaru knew that what he would find beyond the barrier was not the breathing, warm and beautiful angel he'd held so close the night before. It would be a corpse. If he did not reach her soon, he would miss the chance to resurrect her, but everything else aside from his base emotions and instinctual knowledge was the ever present tactician and strategist who said, most assuredly, that there was more than simply a barrier waiting beyond the doors. "There are guardians waiting behind these doors in anticipation of our arrival. Naraku is not a fool and those soldiers we fought were not his elite guards. With the ease that we reached this place, no doubt both Naraku and his incarnations have fled this place and the most powerful of his minions are waiting between us and Kagome's body."

"Tesseiga is responding?" Miroku asked, readying his Kazana.

Sesshomaru nodded and moved behind the monk. Though his frown did not fall from his features, Sesshomaru felt mildly glad that he and this cursed human were so close in their deductions and in knowing what must be done. "We should prepare for battle. Kouga, Inuyasha, move behind Miroku. I will break the door."

Kouga and Inuyasha did as was asked of them, though both warriors did so begrudgingly. This was no time for them to argue Sesshomaru's sudden self-promotion to leader of their rescue. Kagome was by far more important than any dispute.

Sesshomaru raised Tokijin and smiled faintly as it hummed with power and malevolence. He raised it and sliced easily through the door at a distance. The wood splintered and broke in a flurry of power and evil until there was nothing left of the doors but great chunks of timbers propelled into the waiting contingent of elite youkai soldiers and a vast swarm of Saimyosho.

Miroku surveyed the peril and instantly knew they could not reach Kagome in enough time if they had to fight through the force that waited for them. Naraku had anticipated their every move and had left the monk with only one two choices. Live and know that the girl who he thought of as his sister and the only one who could end the evil of Naraku or risk his own death and save Kagome. Miroku hadn't even contemplated his choices before he acted. He opened his palm and freed the black depths of Kazana onto the contingent they faced. He could hear Sango's cry and plea for him to stop. _I am sorry, my Love. I would stay with you if I could, but without Kagome I would lose you when I lost myself to the curse that is slowly consuming me. Kagome is more than simply someone we see as our sister. She is the reason we are still fighting._

After the last of the elite youkai and the Saimyosho had been drug into his palm, the monk closed his hand around his prayer beads and collapsed into the arms of the beautiful woman who had pressed herself to his back shortly before to help support him until his task was done.

"You stupid, stupid man…" She sobbed and held him tightly. Her tears wet his face, but he did not feel them. Blackness had claimed him and, soon, death. He had absorbed too much poison and had no chance, even with Kagome's cures, to survive.

"Inuyasha, break the barrier." Sesshomaru said as he looked down on the dying monk. Once his brother and Kouga had rushed to the barrier, he lowered to one knee. "You love him."

The words were said softly and with a kind of care foreign to the Taiyoukai's voice. Only Kagome had heard those fervent tones and now, as Sango raised her head in confusion, she saw the warm and sincere gaze of Sesshomaru. "I… Yes. He is my whole heart." She replied as the shock of seeing such care and warmth in Sesshomaru even if none of his emotions touched his features. Her attention was torn away from him as the death rattle of Miroku's breath filled her ears. "No… Please, no…"

Tesseiga pulsed. Sesshomaru did not hesitate. He drew the sword. He saw the imps collecting the soul of Miroku. He slew them and then stood. He kept Tesseiga drawn. He would need it soon enough for the girl who was fast becoming his whole heart as well.


	9. Chapter 9

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Not mine. Never will be.**_

**A Distant Voice in the Darkness**

_(From "Hymn to the Night")_

_I felt her presence, by its spell of might,_

_Stoop o'er me from above;_

_The calm, majestic presence of the Night,_

_As of the one I love._

_I heard the sounds of sorrow and delight,_

_The manifold, soft chimes,_

_That fill the haunted chambers of the Night,_

_Like some old poet's rhymes._

_From the cool cisterns of the midnight air_

_My spirit drank repose;_

_The fountain of perpetual peace flows there-_

_From those deep cisterns flows._

_Oh holy Night! From thee I learn to bear_

_What man has borne before!_

_Though layest they finger on the lips of Care,_

_And they complain no more._

_Longfellow_

His sword glowed with bloody power. He snarled and raised the sword for the third time in succession. Power ripped along the dome of the black barrier, coursed and writhed only to die once again without any effect. "Damn you, Naraku!" He cursed and prepared to raise Tessaiga again.

"Stop." Came Sesshomaru's commanding tone. He had watched the last fall of their father's blade and quickly realized that another attempt was only a waste of power. "You will not be able to break it alone."

"What are you talking about?" Inuyasha asked through gritted teeth. "I've tried all of my attacks and this is the only one that even remotely works on the barrier."

"We are missing something." The Taiyoukai replied as he stepped closer to the barrier. It was obvious that it had been originally formed with Naraku's powers, but there was something different about this barrier. Something slightly off. He reached out his hand and touched the domed surface without hesitation. A sharp jolt of energy threw him back a few yards, but he regained his center and landed crouched on his feet. He looked down at his hand and snarled. It had been burnt by purifying energy. "He's designed this barrier so that it fed upon Kagome's power. By the time her purification energies have been completely absorbed by Naraku's energies and you can break through, it will be too late to bring her back."

"Then we will have to try something different." Miroku said as he approached slowly. His arm was slung over Sango's shoulders. She had wanted him to remain laying down, but he would have none of it. He was dizzy and still recovering from the poisons that had been neutralized in his blood, but he knew that he would be needed. Before they'd arrived he'd sensed the nature of the barrier. Kagome's energies had been the only reason he had been able to push through and communicate with her before, however that realization had been slow to come while conflict and desperation took precedence to the analysis of Naraku's gambit.

"What can we do? Is there any way to dispel purification?" Kouga asked. He had been studying the barrier after Sesshomaru had been blasted back by its power.

"Naraku's barrier would have to be destroyed at the same time that Kagome's purification powers were dispelled." Inuyasha said as he began to understand the nature of their problem. "Which means two strikes."

"With two swords." Sesshomaru said, completing the hanyou's thought. "But what could we dispel the purification with?"

"The shards." Sango answered as she helped Miroku sit on the cavern's floor. "Their power combined with the power of a sword that would not taint them could dispel the purification of Kagome's aura."

Miroku's eyes widened and he slipped his hand into his robes to procure the small vial that contained the only shard they had managed to retain aside from those in Kouga's legs and Kohaku's back. "It was with Kagome's possessions. I took it so that it would not draw any extra danger to the rest of our group back at camp."

Sesshomaru approached Miroku and held Tesseiga horizontally in front of the monk. "Place it near the hilt."

Miroku nodded and did as the Taiyoukai asked of him. "Before I forget, thank you." He said and bowed his head respectfully. "Sango would never have forgiven me if I had died before she could bear my child."

Sesshomaru raised a brow faintly, but dismissed the monk's comment for the moment. There were more important things to attend to. "Ensure that you do not die again. My sword only resurrects once."

Miroku raised his brow this time as he detected the faintest amusement in Sesshomaru's voice. _He has to stop doing that. I'm not sure how many surprises my heart can take._

Sesshomaru looked to Inuyasha and nodded faintly. "Now we will end this." He said and readied to send Tesseiga's attack along with Tessaiga's when Inuyasha released it. The blade of heaven pulsed with the power of the shard and darkened to a true black of the void.

"This had better work." Inuyasha said in a hushed tone as the blade of Tessaiga began to glow red again in preparation for the release of their attacks.

"Now!" Commanded the Taiyoukai of the West and, together, the brothers released the full force of their attacks.

The barrier surged and writhed as both powers were violently torn and dissolved. Even before the curved dome of power had been fully melted away, Sesshomaru rushed through the passageway toward where his sensitive nose already was telling him Kagome's corpse lay cooling.

She was naked in a pool of her blood, swathed in the overwhelming darkness of the cave. Small, dirty cuts covered her back and several bruises adorned her normally milky, delicate skin. He felt a pang of severe ache well in his chest as he took in the sight of her. He had very little time. He would not waste it.

He knelt beside her and readied Tesseiga. It pulsed fiercely with the power of the jewel shard that was still joined with it. He saw the imps and snarled, slaying them as they nearly completed their task. Her pure, powerful soul surged and pulsed as it thrust itself back into her broken body. Her wounds closed and healed as Sesshomaru sheathed Tesseiga and drew her into his embrace. Mokomokosama curled around her protectively and held her closer than Sesshomaru could with a single arm.

Her heart began to beat in a strong rhythm and she drew in a sharp, pained breath before releasing a strangled scream. Her eyes flashed open and, for a short instant, they were crystal blue and her body was haloed in white light.

Sesshomaru gasped and held her tighter and the company of her friends paused in awe as, with a sudden, overwhelming pulse, they found themselves connected to the miko along with all living creatures within several miles radius. The feeling passed as quickly as it had come, leaving a small part of the world standing in awe of the sudden wave of peace that had overtaken their souls.

Kagome took in her surroundings slowly. She was entirely aware of who was holding her so close even before her body had fully regained all of its senses. She had felt his mind before she had felt his touch, drawn in his scent or took in the shadowed countenance of his features looking down on her in concern and sudden relief. She raised her shaking fingertips to his jaw and caressed along its curve to his lips. "Sesshou." She whispered and smiled weakly when he kissed her fingers. "You came for me."

He leaned and gently pressed his brow to hers and took in her scent deeply. It was still woven with the scent of her quickly drying blood. "I would not leave you alone. I will never."

She shivered and he frowned softly. Mokomokosama curled around her tighter and he stood, carrying her flush to his chest. She almost asked where the others were, but she found she knew. She knew because she was connected to them with slender, fragile threads of light. "I'm cold…" She whispered.

"I know." He replied softly and approached the group. "I will fly us back to the encampment once I have found something to wrap around you."

Once they were all at the mouth of the cave, Sesshomaru laid Kagome down against Kirara with Mokomokosama still wrapped around her. Sango sat next to Kagome and smoothed her hair gently. Kagome smiled and leaned slightly into her touch.

"Are you alright?" She asked softly, but her eyes communicated her true question. Had Naraku harmed her with more than the steel of a katana?

"I am. He… He didn't do anything other than kill me." Kagome closed her eyes suddenly and began to laugh in a sudden hysteria. Sango frowned faintly at Kagome's sudden waves of uncontrollable laughter. The men had left them alone in the pursuit of finding some sort of clothing for Kagome that remained in the abandoned castle. Even Mokomokosama and Kirara seemed disturbed by Kagome's sudden laughter.

"Kagome?" Sango questioned softly, putting her hands on the girl's shoulders.

As soon as she felt the touch of her best friend, her laughter shifted violently to tears. The hysterical sounds of mirth shifted to painful sobs and her body shook in sorrow. "I tried… I tried so hard not to think, not to let him know what I knew, but he knew… He heard Miroku in my mind and he… And he was ready and… And… I thought that I would die forever and I'd never been able to say… To say…"

Sango looked helplessly as her friend faltered in her words. She embraced her tightly and, with mokomokosama, rocked the weeping miko to comfort her. "What did you need to say, Kagome? Its alright, we're alone for the moment."

"To say that I love him." She whispered and clung to her best friend. Sango's arms tightened around her and she slowly felt the tears abating. "I love him." She breathed again and then sobbed softly. She was so exhausted she didn't think she could remain awake any longer. "I'm so tired." She whispered.

Sango laid her back against Kirara and smoothed her brow with gentle fingers. "Sleep. No one would begrudge you that."

"Do you think he knows?" She asked softly, almost certain Sango knew who she was talking about.

Sango smiled and remembered the warmth of Sesshomaru's eyes when he had asked her if she loved Miroku. She hadn't thought the icy Taiyoukai capable of such tenderness, but there is a way that someone who loves looks when they cast their gaze upon another who loves. There's recognition between the two who love deeply and, while both know they are not the subjects of the overwhelming devotion, it is recognized and understood. Sesshomaru's eyes were those of a man deeply in love and it took no great feat of imagination for Sango to know who it was that was the focus of his devotion. She leaned forward and kissed Kagome's cheek gently. "I think, when we are safe and you are rested, you should tell him."

Kagome laughed softly and shook her head. "I should… With my luck, if I waited much longer, someone might kidnap me again."

Sango laughed shortly and sighed. "Rest, my sweet sister. I'll guard you until the men return and then we'll go back to camp."

"Thank you." She breathed and allowed herself to drift off in the engulfing warmth of her beloved's beast.

In the palace, Sesshomaru led the others on their search for something to wrap Kagome in before they began their trek back to camp. The halls of the palace were empty and abandoned. Every room was stripped and ruined. It was the same way with every palace Naraku inhabited for any length of time. It was as if his being littered the place with fragments of his darkness that remained after he fled.

They found a master bedroom and began searching there when Kouga discovered an old haori in a trunk. As they turned to leave, Sesshomaru felt the suppressed rage rise to the surface. He had wanted, needed to rend Naraku out of existence and he had been denied. He grabbed the nearest piece of furniture and threw it across the room. As it slammed into a wall he doused it with acid that melted it and much of the wall and floor away. He crouched down and steadied himself a moment.

"We will find him."

The words came from the last person he would have expected comfort from. He stood and met mirrored amber pools with a steady gaze. Inuyasha smirked faintly and the same unspoken understanding that had passed between them in battle was reestablished. They had done what they had come to do. Kagome was safe. She would be safe. She needed to recover and learn to control this newly evolving power that had gripped them all so firmly when she had been resurrected. Naraku could wait now for them. In time, the dark hanyou would meet his end, but for now there were many other things that took precedence. Namely the woman who waited for him, sleeping in the embrace of his beast that had, only moments before, whispered her love.


	10. Chapter 10

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Not mine. Never will be.**_

**What Seems So Is Transition**

_(From "The Reaper and the Flowers")_

_There is a Reaper, whose name is Death,_

_And, with his sickle keen,_

_He reaps the bearded grain at a breath,_

_And the flowers that grow between._

"_Shall I have naught that is fair?" saith he;_

"_Have naught but the bearded grain?_

_Though the breath of these flowers is sweet to me,_

_I will give them all back again."_

_He gazed at the flowers with tearful eyes,_

_He kissed their drooping leaves;_

_It was for the Lord of Paradise_

_He bound them in his sheaves._

… … … … …

"_They shall all bloom in fields of light,_

_Transplanted by my care,_

_And saints, upon their garments white,_

_These sacred blossoms wear."_

_And the mother gave, in tears and pain,_

_The flowers she most did love;_

_She knew she should find them all again_

_In the fields of light above._

_O, not in cruelty, not in wrath,_

_The Reaper came that day;_

'_Twas an angel visited the green earth,_

_And took the flowers away._

_Longfellow_

He hadn't had the heart to wake her. When they'd returned to where Kagome had been left with Sango and Kirara, they found her deeply and peacefully asleep. Her arms were wrapped around one end of mokomokosama with her delicate fingers tangled into his luxurious fur. Kouga had handed Sango the haori they'd found and the men turned their backs on the two women so Sango could dress Kagome. His beast had returned to him reluctantly for the few moments it took to cover the girl only to return once the task was complete.

Sango had been careful not to wake her and so Sesshomaru also took care in cradling her against his chest before the small band of warriors returned to the encampment. Now and then on the short trek away from Naraku's abandoned castle, he would look down on his sleeping miko. Her hair flew around her face in its butchered state, but she was still beautiful. With her hair so short, he was able to admire the curve of her shoulders as they slipped into the slender slant of her neck and throat. He had never noticed that part of her before because of the length of her hair and because she always wore it down when it was long. He knew he would mourn the loss of the long ebony waves cascading down her back and the way the silken strands fell through his fingers as he ran his hand among the midnight locks, however, even when her hair had grown out again he would have to remember, every now and again, to ask her to wear it up so he could admire how exquisite her neck and shoulders were as they came together.

He landed in the camp shortly before the others only to give Shippo a sharp look as he called out for Kagome. The kitsune froze as the icy, dangerous gaze of the Taiyoukai fell on him and he paled. "Remain quiet. She needs to sleep." He said in a gentler tone than he might have had Shippo not silenced so quickly.

Shippo nodded and slowly approached Kagome once Sesshomaru had laid her down and covered her in her sleeping bag. The Taiyoukai gently smoothed her hair and stepped away from her, leaving mokomokosama wrapped around her. The kitsune curled up against the miko's shoulder and nuzzled her neck gently. "I love you, Momma." He whispered so softly even Sesshomaru had difficulty hearing the words.

_It would seem at some point I will have to claim another into my pack if he calls her his mother._ The thought was not loathing or annoyed. Rather it was an assertion of a truth he was more than willing to accept and make accommodations for. His eyes rose as Kouga and Inuyasha ran into camp and Kirara landed with Sango and the still recovering Miroku. He walked toward them and nodded faintly. When he spoke, his voice was soft, mindful of the sleeping Kagome. He was happy that Jaken was being silent and that Rin was asleep near Kohaku. "Naraku will most definitely seek to hide himself after this. He most certainly knows Kagome is alive from the sudden burst of her powers."

"He used the same connection to his benefit before." Miroku said softly. "It seems the jewel's holy power allowed him to traverse the bond she created when she freed you from the arrow of sealing as my holy power allowed me to traverse the same link. When she died, the links were severed, but now that they have been reestablished, she is again in danger until she learns to control her new powers."

"We all felt the surge of power from her when she freed Sesshomaru, but are you certain that it was the same thing that happened when she was resurrected?" Kouga asked with faint confusion in his eyes. "I didn't even realize there was a connection with her until she was brought back."

Miroku nodded and looked to each of the group in turn. "It is her power blossoming. Until recently she has only been in possession of part of her soul. The greater part, to be sure. Only a fracture of it remained within Kikyo, but with that fracture… Kikyo was ten times more powerful than Kagome. It wasn't just her skill. It was that she had access to a raw power that was originally Kagome's. Kagome was only ever able to access her powers when she was either incredibly focused or incredibly desperate because, to do so, she needed to reach out to the piece of her soul that resided in Kikyo and, on some level, Kikyo had to allow her to take it. Furthermore, the reason why the pulse was more powerful when she was resurrected is most likely because Sesshomaru had not removed the jewel shard before he brought her back, am I correct?"

Sesshomaru met the monk's gaze and nodded. He drew Tesseiga and held it out to Miroku so the monk could remove the shard from the hilt. He did not apologize. "I have never brought anyone so close to being completely gone. The shard enabled me to save her."

"I understand, but that is most likely the reason the pulse was so strong this time. Kagome was born with the jewel in her body. Her soul was reincarnated with it. Who knows what that did to her powers?" Miroku replied as he took the shard and replaced it in its vial.

"We saw a bit of her power when Kikyo was resurrected in her clay body." Inuyasha said softly as he remembered that night with a slight shiver. He looked into the distance vacantly. "Kagome's body was empty. Her soul was gone and her body was fading into death. Everything that was Kagome should have been gone, but, somehow, Kagome came back. She ripped herself away from Kikyo's resurrection almost entirely. She brought herself back even though she shouldn't have even existed once her soul had been transferred into Kikyo's resurrection."

"And until now she hasn't had access to all of her power." Sango finished Inuyasha's thought. Kagome had told her about her memory of that fateful event. The girl's words were still burnt into her memory. "She said that there was white light all around her. She felt like, if she tried, she could touch the life energy of everything and everyone around her. When Kikyo threatened Inuyasha, she said that she reached out to her dying body and fought to be brought back so she could help him." She looked over to where the miko slept. "She used to look at me sometimes with this hollow look and when I asked her what was wrong, she said that she was looking at the part of her that wasn't there anymore. She was looking at the part that had been stolen."

"She never mentioned any of that…" Miroku said with faint sadness in his voice.

"There are a lot of things she never mentioned to you or Inuyasha or anyone but me, Miroku." Sango said softly as she returned her gaze to her beloved's indigo eyes. "I am certain that the only person who knows more than I do about the workings of her mind is her mother… Sesshomaru." She met the Taiyoukai's worried gaze with her own. "Could you part with her for a few days? I have a feeling Kagome will want to go home to see her mother. When the more horrible things happen, she always longs to return home for comfort."

"Why are you asking his permission?" Inuyasha groused. "She isn't his mate yet."

"Yet." His brother snarled faintly, sending a chill down both Inuyasha and Kouga's spine. He calmed and returned his gaze to Sango. "I think that she should at least for a few days. Then, if she and all of you are willing, I suggest we retreat to the seat of my control in the West for a duration until she is able to grasp her powers more fully."

"Oh no." Inuyasha snarled at his brother, receiving a deep frown from the Taiyoukai and a furious gaze. "On your terms? In your palace? Your rules? What, you think it will be safer for us there while Naraku builds up his forces again? We'd be better off moving around so it's harder for him to locate us."

"If Kagome wishes to go, she will go." Sesshomaru managed through gritted teeth. He hadn't raised his voice above the soft silken tones they had been at since he'd touched down in the encampment. He hadn't wanted to wake Kagome. He would remain in control as long as he needed to, however, if he were pushed much further, that would become very difficult to do. "You, most definitely, are not her mate nor will you ever be. She will make her own decisions."

"I'm not the one who is trying to control her!"

"You will quiet your voice."

Inuyasha ignored the venom in his brother's words and continued. "You think because she shared some part of you that it makes her yours? You think because you resurrected her that she belongs to you?"

"Inuyasha… You need to calm down." Sango said with warning as she watched the situation go from bad to worse. "You don't know everything that's gone on. You need to quiet yourself."

"Feh! If you think I'm going to keep quiet for this, you've lost your mind." He glared at his brother, letting his hand move to the hilt of Tessaiga. "She ain't yours to push around."

He held his calm as tightly as he could. He had almost won his battle with his temper when his sensitive ears caught the soft whimper of Kagome as she stirred and fought to stay asleep. _Our Kagome needs silence. _ Came the warning of mokomokosama. Sesshomaru snarled and sped forward, catching Inuyasha by the throat, pinning him to a tree as far from the camp as he was able. He'd had enough.

Inuyasha winced and gripped Sesshomaru's wrist with both hands, gasping for breath. He hadn't even seen him move before he felt the strong hand around his throat and found himself painfully slammed against a tree well out of sight of the camp. "What… The hell…"

"You will learn something very quickly now if you value your life, little brother. No one owns Kagome. Not you. Not the mongrel wolf. Not me. No one but herself. She, however, owns us and does not even realize it. Even if she accepts me as a mate, I will never force her to do anything she does not wish to do. She may only share my memories and my experiences, but that is enough to earn devotion. As you well know, hanyou, her ability to accept, forgive and understand knows no limits and for that simple reason she deserves to be protected always and forever be loved."

Inuyasha choked and gasped sharply, then yelped when he hit the ground as the Taiyoukai threw him harshly against another tree. "Did you… Did you say love? You… You can't love. And anyway, she's only a human. You hate humanity."

"That is none of your concern."

Inuyasha stood and scowled. "It is entirely my concern. If you didn't figure it out already, before you decided that Kagome was worth a damn, the group of us had been connected to her. We're family and family looks out for each other. Going to your palace makes us a sitting target for Naraku."

"If we do not settle somewhere for a short time, she will not have the time to hone her abilities. My palace is safe and with her _family_ with her, we would be more than a sitting target, Inuyasha. Moving around exposed as we are will only lead to her being kidnapped again and I will not be able to resurrect her again if Naraku decides to take her life again. If he did as he most certainly intended before we came to rescue her, I… Am not certain there would be anything remaining of this world in the wake of my rage. In the wake of all of our rage. It would break her beauty and purity and I could not endure seeing that."

"Why are you saying this? What the hell does it get you?"

Sesshomaru scowled and met his brother's gaze slowly. "I am not telling you this for your sake. I am doing this for hers. As much as my home would become a target for Naraku, at least behind my walls with my soldiers defending us, we would have time to prepare and not have to worry about sieges in the middle of the night stealing her away when we are most vulnerable."

He studied his brother with intense scrutiny. For years he had protected Kagome with his life and with nearly everything that was within him. Nearly. There was always that part of him that had been exclusively Kikyo's and Kagome had suffered for it. He'd been torn in two by the same person and he realized it now. Kikyo's memories of her time of being resurrected as well as her original life had all gone to Kagome. Kagome was Kikyo reborn. He'd been a fool never to notice that before. He'd been a fool and now it had cost him everything, including his role as her protector. However, he would not relinquish it completely until he knew that Sesshomaru was worthy. Inuyasha realized that, even though he was loath to admit it, his brother was very close to proving that he was.

"You said that she was forever loved." He met Sesshomaru's gaze and found some of the ice fracture and melt away. "It's easy to love her. Even when you don't want to. Even when you want to hate her. She fills up your heart until there isn't any room left but somehow… You find yourself able to care and wanting to care more easily than you ever had before. It happens before you even realize it's happening. If you love her, Sesshomaru, you have to know what it will mean for you. There's no real coming back from her, but, then, once you're there, you don't want to come back."

"You seem to be trying to warn me away from her." He said simply with the ice returning to his voice and eyes, though his features remained placid. "Your attempt at reclaiming her is futile. Unless she tells me she does not want this Sesshomaru, I will never turn from her."

"Wouldn't that make you hers? Like a trained dog? You like to curse our father for having been so attached to humans and now you're turning out just like him." Inuyasha spat, and then found himself again pressed against a tree with claws digging into his neck. He winced and then smirked. "Did I touch a nerve?"

"If you value your life, you will cease this exercise in futility. If you continue, you risk harming Kagome with your words and I will not tolerate it."

"If you kill me, she'll never forgive you."

Inuyasha felt his heart almost stop as his brother smiled in what appeared to be faint pleasure. His eyes filled with malevolence as he spoke his next words. His voice was filled with an evil mirth. "She would, in time. You say again and again how forgiving she is. How good. How loyal. She might hate me for a time, but hate is very close to love and switches easily if given reason."

"You'd be no better than Naraku in her eyes." He felt himself beginning to panic slightly as he realized he might have pushed his brother too far.

"I highly doubt that." He sneered. He felt a wash of pleasure, as he smelled the musk of his brother's intense fear. He knew no small part of that was because he realized how close to death he was, but part of Sesshomaru wondered how much of his fear was related to the fact that Inuyasha knew he was very close to losing Kagome._ You have no idea how lucky you are, Inuyasha. Hatred is indeed very close to love. Nothing but a razor's edge separates the two. Walking that line cuts deeply those who try and my indifference has been shattered. Her understanding of my pain only allowed me to, again walk between the two. Fear of losing her caused me to falter to the other side of the continuum and I will not allow anyone to take her from me. Not even myself. _ He dropped his half brother to the ground and turned to walk away.

"You… Why didn't you kill me?" His voice faltered in his disbelief. His life had flashed before his eyes in a brief instant and the vision of it had terrified him. He'd left nothing in his wake but pain, loss and unfinished business.

"This Sesshomaru would prefer to watch you suffer." He replied, telling a half-truth. "If you live, you will be forced to see as I claim her as my own. Anything you do to try and separate us will only hurt her and drive her further away from you. If you love her, Inuyasha, no matter how deeply you hurt you will let her find happiness with me if she chooses it. In either case, I will have my revenge on you."

"She doesn't even have a chance. You're too much of a tactician."

"She realizes my nature, Inuyasha. If she did not want me because of who I am, I am certain she would have pulled away from me in the beginning." He paused and looked back only enough so that he met Inuyasha's gaze with the corners of his eyes. "In the morning we will take Kagome to the Bone Eater's Well and let her return home for a few days to recover. When she returns to us, I will lead us to my seat of rule and we will remain in the palace until she has some proficiency with her blossoming powers. If you disagree with this, you will not confront me about it until she has been returned to the care of her mother. I will not have her more upset than she already is, do you understand me?"

Inuyasha felt a chill running down his back. He diverted his gaze from his brother's and nodded. "That is one thing we both can agree on. She's been through enough already."

Sesshomaru nodded and turned away to return to the encampment. He was glad that no one had followed them for their conversation. Part of him was surprised that he had revealed as much as he had to his bastard half brother, and yet he had realized it was necessary. No one but Sango was closer to Kagome than Inuyasha was. Miroku came close, but as with Sango, Sesshomaru knew that he had an understanding with the monk. Kouga was no more than an annoying fly buzzing near him. It was Inuyasha who could harm what was so quickly growing between the Taiyoukai and the young miko. Inuyasha was enough like Inu no Taisho that Sesshomaru knew there was only one thing that would break through the hanyou's overwhelmingly frustrating level of brashness and stubbornness. It was the truth. And so Sesshomaru had not held that from Inuyasha when they had their confrontation. In the same light, Sesshomaru had not told Inuyasha everything. He had not betrayed the girl and exposed what he had learned through his beast. Mokomokosama had not been eavesdropping on Kagome and Sango's conversation. He'd been curled around the miko and could not help but hear as she had professed her love. But Inuyasha did not need to know that. It was visible and Inuyasha had even said that he suspected as much, however that did not mean that the Taiyoukai had any right to inform his brother how correct he really was. And so he had let Inuyasha only know the barest minimum of his intent. _I will have to keep myself from killing him, now. Pity. I had so desired to watch my father's chosen son and heir bleed out. No matter. Watching his heart die slowly will be enough and finally I will have something… Someone who chooses me over him not because I am the only one, but because I am the one they wish for._

_Love is sunshine,_

_Hate is shadow,_

_Live is checkered shade and sunshine._

_Longfellow_

She caressed the smooth wood of the ledge. Time and the elements had sanded and polished the corners and surfaces of each board so that it had a timeless but well loved look that begged to be sat upon for a few moments to think. It had looked the same in her time, as if eternity's love was enough to keep it there. _He would take me into eternity with him… He has to know I love him and I know he loves me, but if I don't say it… Saying it makes it real and until I do, it won't really be there. But how could I love him so quickly? Don't be silly Kagome; you know it's happened before. You loved Inuyasha this way too. Maybe from the moment you saw him pinned to the God Tree. When he looked down at you with those eyes and even… Even when he tried to kill you. You could forgive him because you loved him from the first moment you saw him and you still do, only not as you first did. You can't make the same mistake you did with Inuyasha. If you'd told him as soon as you realized it, maybe… Maybe you would have had his heart they way destiny seemed to want you to. But you faltered. Perhaps that was actually destiny. To love someone. To learn to love them completely. To learn to forgive them utterly. No matter what. If I hadn't learned that because of Inuyasha, I never would have been able to love Sesshomaru. Not even knowing what I know of his past now. Perhaps I might have been able to forgive him, but not love. I know that about who I was. Who I was before I met Inuyasha. She was still a little girl who believed love was magical and always perfect. She didn't understand disappointment. She didn't realize what real love was. She only had what she'd seen of her parents for such a short time through the eyes of a small child to use as a blueprint for any relationship that would come. She didn't know the way I do that love is trials as much as it is joy. Momma taught me that while I was still in love with Inuyasha. She told me what I'd missed with my child's eyes about her and my father. She helped me understand what it's all about. Everyone sees me and thinks I'm so pure and gentle, the perfect miko, but what they don't understand is that I had to find my way to this place. I had to learn to center myself and let go. I had to learn to forgive… But sometimes I miss being that girl. I miss slipping into my mother's arms and feeling like her embrace could chase away all of the monsters in the world. Like her kiss could heal any scrape I received. Like her voice could soothe my broken heart. I miss that innocence. I miss my mother…_ "I miss her so much." She whispered and felt Sango's hands on her shoulder's tighten. "But I can't just leave when Naraku is still out there. He might not go into hiding. If I leave now, he might attack without you being ready and I just can't… I can't ask you all to wait for me and leave yourselves open to attack here."

"Kagome, you need to rest. I can see it in you even after you slept all the way back here and all of last night. You're so weak. Naraku's barrier sapped your energies and the only way to help that is for you to go somewhere that you will be completely safe from him. Where you'll be taken care of." Sango murmured and wrapped her arms around her best friend. Kagome was so pale. Even Sesshomaru had seemed disturbed by how light she had been when she had curled into his embrace after they broke camp. She'd looked so small wrapped in mokomokosama, curled in the crook of the Taiyoukai's arm. So small and broken. "We'll be here when you come back."

She covered her face with her hands and trembled, leaning back into Sango's embrace. She was so terribly tired. It took all her strength just to stay awake. "You can't make promises like that. Every time we meet him, he gets stronger… More resourceful. I don't know what I'd do if you all weren't here when I came back…"

"Kagome, you can't think like that." Miroku said softly. He'd watched Kagome and Sango with a great deal of worry. He'd never seen Kagome in such a state. Even when her soul had been stolen to resurrect Kikyo. Even when she'd been very ill. It was like she hadn't slept in years. "Have faith in us."

She shook her head fiercely and curled her back so her elbows touched her knees. Her hands still hid her face as a river of tears coursed and pooled into her palms. She sobbed softly, shaking. "I'm so tired… I'm just so tired and weak and useless. I'm a burden to all of you and you're just so patient and gentle and I… I'm not worth all of this."

He'd had enough. He walked up and was beside her in less than three strides though he'd been standing across the clearing. He knelt and gently took her wrist, then firmly pulled her up so she was forced to look at him. "Do not say that about yourself. Never say that." He said with a gentle but fierce tone. He drew her against his chest and kissed the crown of her head. "This Sesshomaru knows how tired you are. How weak and vulnerable… You are worth all the care we can show you. You are not useless and certainly are not a burden. I will not hear those words come from you again in regard to yourself. If you try, I will silence you."

"Sesshou… You can't see it… I'm not…" Her words were hushed suddenly by his lips pressed surely to hers. A soft whimper escaped her and she held to him with all the strength she could spare. Slowly he pulled away from her. Mokomokosama had curled around her hips to steady her in the place of his lost arm. She felt so safe, so loved. He was what she was afraid of leaving. Afraid because she didn't really know if it all was just a dream or if it was all real. She looked up and met his gaze with sleepy, shimmering eyes. He pressed his brow to hers and breathed her in as his beast curled tighter around her. "I love you." She breathed only to find his hand clutching at the nape of her neck gently. She closed her eyes and took the silk of his haori into her hands. He'd removed his armor before they'd broken camp and so the heat of his body had replaced the coolness of the metal. The heat that still clung to the weave of his clothing and warmed her fingertips.

It took him a moment of holding her and breathing her in to center him self and regain the strength her words had suddenly drained away from him. The strength of his resolve that she needed to return to her time, if only for a few days to recover. The strength he'd built up against his need to claim her entirely as his mate. She'd disarmed him and thrown him off balance all at once. He realized, painfully, that he had no defense against her. She'd been woven into his soul and he could find no way of removing her without harming himself forever. Though he would never want her gone. Slowly, he found his voice again. "I will be here, Kagome. Naraku will do no harm to any of us, especially not me. You need to go to your home and recover. Take as long as is necessary. Then come back to me."

She trembled and nodded after a moment. He helped her to her feet and then Sango handed her the slowly falling apart awful yellow backpack full of her things. She met his eyes once more and he took her hand, squeezing reassuringly. "Will you miss me?" The words were as haunted as they were hopeful.

His eyes danced with faint, wistful ribbons of tenderness meant only for her. He turned her hand and kissed her palm. "I already do, my Love. Go now so you may sooner return."

She blushed faintly, and then stood on the edge of the well. She looked down into the vast shadows of its depth. It always looked deeper than it was in actual physical depth. The dark of it mirrored its depth through time. She'd never been afraid of that depth until then because, until then, it had never separated her so fully from what she loved. She steadied her breath and then jumped with her eyes closed. Time wrapped around her like the loving embrace of an old friend and guided her home. All the way, only one thought touched her mind. _He called me Love._

So I wanted to introduce myself. I know, finally! Here I am, ten chapters along, and I haven't even said a word aside from the story. I go by the pseudonym Ivy. I've been writing since… Since I could write, actually. It's one of the things I "do" in so much as what I do defines me. I write, I sing and I dream. They all make my life worth living and give me purpose so I am a writer, singer and dreamer. So this story was originally posted on A.Single.Spark in response to the Longfellow challenge. The first quote at the beginning of the Prelude was what inspired this whole story from beginning to end. I figured since I got such a great response to it there that I would post it here. The story is still not complete, though I doubt it will go much further than a handful of chapters more. It's winding down. I will be posting more stories as I go along, but I was bored today and the writing bug just wasn't biting, so I decided to try and figure this site out again and, low and behold, I managed to get the downloading thingie down. Teehee. I wanted to thank those who have sent such wonderful reviews so far on this site and also to those who have given me so much support on A.Single.Spark. I'm so timid about my writing. It's like putting myself out naked on display and so, well, I guess the only way to put it is that I'm glad people like what they see. In any case, I hope you all enjoy. Peace.

_**Ivy**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Not mine. Never will be.**_

**Working in These Walls of Time**

_(From "The Day is Done)_

… … … … …

_A feeling of sadness and longing,_

_That is not akin to pain,_

_And resembles sorrow only_

_As the mist resembles the rain._

… … … … …

_Not from the grand old masters,_

_Not from the bards sublime,_

_Whose distant footsteps echo_

_Through the corridors of Time._

_For, like the strains of martial music,_

_Their mighty thoughts suggest_

_Life's endless toil and endeavor;_

_And to-night I long for rest._

… … … … …

_Who, through long days of labor,_

_And nights devoid of ease_

_Still heard in his soul the music_

_Of wonderful melodies._

_Such songs have power to quiet_

_The restless pulse of care,_

_And come like the benediction_

_That follows after prayer._

… … … … …

_And the night shall be filled with music,_

_And the cares, that infest the day,_

_Shall fold their tents, like the Arabs,_

_And as silently steal away._

_Longfellow_

She looked at the last three rungs of the ladder set into the well so she could pull herself out easier when she came home. She'd made it so far up and then simply run out of energy. She felt hot tears slip down her cheeks, joining the fine sheen of sweat in a salty cascade into her clothing until the material was almost soaked through at her collar. "Please… Just a few more rungs, feet… Please just a little more." She whimpered and sobbed almost painfully. "I just want Momma and a bath and bed… Please, don't give out legs, just get me out of this well and into the house…"

Her feet wouldn't move so she leaned herself against the ladder and wept. She felt like a helpless little girl lost only a block away from home. Things were familiar, but not enough for her to find her house. She was almost nineteen years old and she couldn't have felt more like a child clutching at anything safe she could find.

"Kagome? Did I hear you in… Kagome!" It was her mother's voice. She looked up and saw her mother's worried gaze from the entrance to the well house. Mrs. Higurashi rushed down to her daughter and helped her up out of the well. "Kagome, baby… You look so weak, what happened to you? What happened to my little girl?"

"Momma…" She whispered and clung as tightly as she could to her mother, burring her face into her shoulder, crying in relief. "I'm so tired."

"We'll get you into the house…" She turned her head to the door. "Souta! Souta come here now! I need your help!"

"What's the matter Mom? Shit, Kagome!" He rushed down and helped his mother with his sister. She was so light as he pulled her arm up over his shoulder. At thirteen, he was almost as tall as she was, still, she was so light.

Mrs. Higurashi didn't even bother chiding her son for his language. A similar exclamation had almost escaped her when she'd seen the state of her daughter only a few moments earlier.

As quickly as they could, Kagome was brought up to her room. Little had changed in its décor, however her small twin bed was now a larger full size and was adorned in a pale pink silk comforter that had been a birthday present two years before. Souta laid her on her bed while his mother went to draw his sister a bath. He looked at her and frowned, pushing her hair away from her face. Or what was left of her hair. It had been chopped off and was at odd, butchered lengths, though a few longer strands had survived. He met her sleepy eyes. She was fighting to stay awake long enough to bathe.

"What happened? Who did this to you?" He asked her softly with great concern in his voice.

"Naraku… Sesshou saved me." She whispered and managed a weak smile. "I'm ok, I'm just tired, Souta."

"Sesshou? Whose he?"

"My… My friend." She murmured. Her mother entered the room and helped her to the bathroom. "I'm sorry for being such a bother… I'm just so tired."

"Baby, its ok. I just want you to get cleaned up and into bed so you can sleep, all right? Were you in a fight? There's some blood on your legs."

She shook her head softly and managed a wan smile. "I'm alright… I'll tell you the story later."

Mrs. Higurashi helped her daughter out of the ancient, musty smelling haori and into the bath that she'd drawn and added mineral oil and salts to. Once Kagome was settled, she gave her daughter a meaningful look. "You will tell me later. I'm going to leave you to bathe, but I'll be back every ten minutes to check on you. You look like you might pass out and drown if I don't."

"Maybe every five." She said softly without any jest in her tone. "I might fall asleep in only a few moments."

"What… What are we going to do about your hair?" Mrs. Higurashi asked softly. "Do you want me to cut it into at least a functional style?"

Kagome nodded. "Once I'm done with my bath, maybe. It shouldn't take all that long. Just make it all the same length or something."

Her mother nodded, then leaned forward and kissed her daughter's head. "I'll be back in a few moments."

When her mother had gone, Kagome began washing slowly. She scrubbed the whole surface of her skin until it was red, removing the dead skin and what was left of the traces of her blood. She washed her hair and conditioned it, then let herself soak in the water for a while. Her mother came to check on her every five minutes as promised, though mostly she opened the door a crack and called out to her daughter to make sure she was awake. After several checks, Kagome began to catch the scent of her favorite meal cooking downstairs. She smiled faintly and slowly drew herself out of the bath. She dried herself and put lotion on her skin, then an extra leave in conditioner in her hair before slipping into the nightgown and robe her mother had left in the bathroom for her. Once she stepped out of the door, Souta was at her side to help her down the stairs. Once she was seated at the kitchen table, her mother put a large plate of food in front of her, which she ate slowly, savoring every bite and allowing the food to nourish her body before taking the next mouthful. She could actually feel her body using the nourishment from the food. It was a strange sort of awareness. It reminded her of when she was a child and when, on the hottest summer days, she would take slow drinks from the garden hose. The water would slide down her tongue and into her throat. The parched feeling that seemed to go through her whole body faded with a slow soft ache. It was the same as she was eating.

Once she had finished, her mother fussed with her hair, deciding what she could possibly do to make it reasonably acceptable. She was able to cut it in an a-line cut that had her longest length in the front, kissing her collarbone and the shortest at the nape of her neck. She layered her daughter's bangs slightly so they would grow into the rest of her hair in time. When she finished, Kagome smiled at her reflection. She was still horribly pale and weak looking, but there was faint color in her cheeks now and her eyes were sparkling again. "It's perfect, Momma." She said softly and leaned against her mother.

Mrs. Higurashi sighed and smiled. "Come on, let's get you into bed now. Tomorrow, when you wake, you can tell us what happened."

Once Souta and her mother had gotten her upstairs and into bed, Kagome frowned deeply. "Momma, where's Grandpa?"

Her mother sighed and kissed her brow. "He's alright, but his heart was giving him some trouble. We took him to the hospital for observation overnight yesterday. They want to keep him one more night before they decide what to do."

"What do they think is wrong?" Kagome asked, fighting back the sleep that was threatening to claim her.

"They don't know, but, frankly, it's probably that he's very old and he works himself too hard. At least that's what his doctor thinks. But we'll see. If we have to, we'll hire another person on to help him and Souta keep this place up."

She nodded to her mother, allowing her explanation to calm the fear that was pulsing through her. "I'm… I'm gonna sleep now, Mom."

Mrs. Higurashi nodded and kissed her daughter's brow. Taking care of Kagome would take her mind off her worry about Grandpa. She hadn't lied to Kagome, but her heart felt there was something more that was going on with him that they hadn't found yet. She only hoped that her fears were not based on anything more than a daughter's concern.

Even before her light had been turned out, Kagome had been claimed by her dreams. First there was only the peaceful blackness of repose that calmed and cradled her. Then the blackness became the shadows of another room caught up in the night's dimness. She sighed and curled against the warmth beside her. She could feel the softness of skin and smiled when her fingers found long strands of silken hair that she began to twine her fingers in. An arm wrapped around her tightly and she melted against the strong form that held her so close and so very protectively. Something weighty and warm curled over her on top of the covers, cuddling against her form blanketed by the fine sheets. She could smell the soft musk of his scent and she knew she was safe in her dreams. She knew she was home.

"Sesshou…" She breathed in her sleep and pressed further into her bedding and pillows. Her bed was empty, but her dream was so real that it didn't matter. A smile touched her lips and she gently gripped her pillow as, in her dream she held gently to his side. "I love you."

She lived in her dream as, in the world of the waking, life went on without pause. Souta left and went to school. Mrs. Higurashi tended the shrine in the morning, then set out food for her daughter with a note letting her know she'd gone to the hospital, then to work and would return in the late evening. Night came and Kagome slipped from her dreaming only long enough to dash to the bathroom to relieve herself, then eat the meal that had been left out for her earlier that day. She lay back down and was instantly returned to the embrace of her beloved, if only in her dream.

Her mother and brother returned shortly after she had drifted off to sleep. Work had gone late and Souta had gone to a study session. Seeing that she had eaten, they did not wake her, however Mrs. Higurashi set out some dried fruit, sweets and a pitcher of water in case her daughter woke and needed anything in the night. She paused and looked at her sleeping daughter and brushed her hair from her face. The shortened locks had begun to curl in loose ringlets as it never had before. Her mother almost smiled, considering how much Kagome had envied people with curling hair as a child.

Somewhere, deep in the night on the cusp of dawn, Kagome shuddered as a pulse of pain shot through her chest. She did not wake until the pain returned even sharper. She cried out breathlessly as she woke, clutching her chest. _Grandpa…_ She tried to focus on his life force and found it easily, several miles away in the hospital. It was waning. She tried to send him healing energies, but his aura and soul pushed it away. Confusion over took her and she tried to force more energy to her grandfather so he might live and heal. Again, the energy was shrugged away. _Why? Why won't it work? What am I doing wrong? What good are my gifts if I can't save the people I love?_ She tried once more and again, her power could not reach him. She began to weep silently as she felt her grandfather pass. She covered her face and drew her knees to her chest. Was this Kami's way of showing her the limitations of her powers? That she cannot go against the will of nature? That she cannot stop fate? What cruel force in the universe would give her so much power and purpose to use it only to make her power impotent when she really needed to use it?

Twenty minutes later, the phone rang. She heard her mother answer it, then the soft click of the receiver as it was set back in place. Then her mother began to weep. She heard Souta go to their mother and try to comfort her. Kagome stood shakily and went to join them. She hugged them both and wept with them. Kagome did not return to her bed that night. She dressed and accompanied her mother and brother to claim Grandpa's body. Over the next few days, funeral arrangements were made. Kagome slept only as long as she needed to in order to keep going. She had been told to return so that she could relax and rest and that was the last thing she was doing.

The funeral came and went. Her mother hired two of Souta's school friends to help out at the shrine. Kagome helped her mother set up a schedule for the shrine's care and upkeep and, along with Souta and his friends, did several months worth of repairs to the shrine and the grounds that Grandpa had neglected in his waning health. By the end of the first week she was home, Kagome had worn herself so thin, she fell ill with fever and extreme exhaustion. Mrs. Higurashi rushed her to the hospital when her fever spiked to one hundred and four and, for the next two days, Kagome lay in a hospital bed hanging between sleep, awake and delirium. Half way through the second week, Kagome was brought home and put to bed with orders that she was not allowed to leave her room except to use the restroom for at least the rest of the week. Most of it she spent deeply asleep, waking only to use the restroom and to eat. Her dreams became fitful by the end of the second week. She could think of nothing but Sesshomaru and her friends on the other side of the well. If she'd been gone this long before, Inuyasha would have come to check on her. Why hadn't he come? Had Sesshomaru forbidden him, or had something else happened?

Two weeks to the day that she had returned, Kagome walked down the stairs to join her mother in the kitchen. Mrs. Higurashi was pouring over an accounting book, enrapt.

"What are you doing, Momma?"

"Oh, Kagome! You look so much better, Sweetheart!" Her mother met her eyes, practically glowing. "At the moment I'm looking at the books for the shrine… Did you realize that Grandpa had been more than just a little frugal with our finances?"

"I don't think I understand…" Kagome said and sat across from her mother.

"Well, since he took over the shrine from his father, Grandpa had ensured that he put in ten percent of the profits from the shrine into an account in the Higurashi family's name. Some months were better than others, but, essentially, over the last thirty years he was able to save up enough money that… Well, to put it lightly, if you and Souta decided you wanted to go to college, it would be entirely paid for and I still could quit my job and not have to work for the rest of my life."

Kagome's eyes widened and she felt a great weight lift off her shoulders. "Are you serious?"

Mrs. Higurashi nodded and almost laughed. Her eyes shimmered with tears. "I miss your grandfather, but it seems that he's still looking after us, even from the afterlife."

"Yes… I only wish that I could have told him how much I loved him before he died…" Her hands were captured by her mother's and squeezed gently. "But at least now that I know this I don't feel so bad about leaving again."

Mrs. Higurashi nodded. She'd known this had been coming. When she'd brought her daughter food while Kagome slept, often she had heard her daughter whispering love to someone in her dreams. It had warmed her heart, but still, she knew that it meant she would have to let her go. Maybe forever this time. "When will you go?"

"I… As soon as possible, really. I'm worried that no one has come to check on me."

Her mother nodded. "Then lets get you packed, baby. You get your clothing and bag together and I need to go and find some things that I want you to have…"

"Momma, you're talking like you don't expect me to come back again."

Mrs. Higurashi paused. She'd been halfway to the door already. She turned and met her daughter's gaze. "When you were just a newborn, I had a dream about you as a woman. It was more of a feeling than a vision of the future, but I knew you were bound for great things. I knew that one day you would be lost to your destiny. That, while you would be happy on your path and well loved, I would lose you and it might be that I would never see you again. I don't know if you will make it back to me, Kagome, but I know that there are things that I should give you before you take this trip. We haven't had time to talk about what happened to you before you made it back, but it had to have been hard… Hard and rewarding from the sound of your voice when you sleep and call out to this Sesshou…"

Kagome blushed and smiled with shimmering eyes. "He's… He's so wonderful. I always thought I knew what I wanted and then there he was. He's nothing that I thought I wanted, but he's… I couldn't imagine loving anyone else."

Mrs. Higurashi smiled and nodded slowly. "Love isn't about getting what we want, Kagome. It's about being given what we need and we don't get to put a face on what we need." She chuckled as her daughter jumped up and nearly tackled her in a tight hug. She ran her fingers through Kagome's short spiraling locks. "Just promise me that, if you can't come back you'll tell my grandchildren about me and your father, Souta and Grandpa."

"There's no way I couldn't, Momma." She breathed and clung to her a moment longer. "I love you. I want you to know, though, that you're the only reason I turned out well at all. I only hope that I can be half the person you are someday."

She couldn't hold back her tears. She held her daughter tighter and kissed her cheek. "I love you, baby girl. You and Souta are my whole world and I feel honored to have been blessed with you as my children. I couldn't have chosen better souls to have been my daughter and son."

Kagome blushed and smiled. Several moments later they broke their embrace and went about gathering things for Kagome's return. By the time she had everything, Kagome's bag was full to the seams. She even had a small suitcase she would be taking with her. Souta helped her drag her things to the well house and, once there, hugged his sister as tightly as he could without hurting her.

"You be careful, ok?" He said softly.

She nodded and smiled. "You too. Take care of Mom."

"I promise." He replied softly and then pulled away.

Mrs. Higurashi approached with two articles in her hands. "This first is for you, Kagome. It was given to me by my mother when I left home to make my life." She slipped a white gold ruby ring onto her daughter's delicate finger. She smiled and held out the other article. "I gave this to your father on our wedding day. It is used to guide one's self by the stars and to determine the passage of time through the movements of the heavens." She slipped an intricate necklace with several rotating disks and an arrow that spun into her daughter's hands. "It's called an astrolabe. Give it to this Sesshou so that he can always find his way to you."

She blushed and nodded, hugging her mother fiercely. She held the astrolabe tightly in her hand. "Thank you, Momma… I love you so much and I promise, if it's possible, I'll come back and tell you how it all turned out."

Mrs. Higurashi nodded and slowly, reluctantly, released her little girl. "Please be careful, Kagome. And try to be happy."

Kagome nodded and grabbed her two bags. She slipped the astrolabe around her neck and then balanced on the edge of the well. Closing her eyes, no longer afraid, she jumped down into the Bone Eater's Well to return to her friends and her beloved to continue their quest to the end.

_It is difficult to know at what moment love begins;_

_It is less difficult to know that it has begun._

_Longfellow_

The brothers were at it again. Kouga sighed and leaned against the God Tree and watched as they drew swords for the third time that day. This time it was over Inuyasha's tone when addressing Rin. _What it's really over is Sesshomaru refusing to allow Inuyasha to go and check on Kagome. Even when the bastard is as worried as any of us about her delay. But then I wouldn't want Inuyasha to go and check on my woman either, knowing the mood he's been in lately._ Kouga winced as Inyuasha was propelled several hundred yards away with a blast from Tokijin. The hanyou fell hard and didn't move for a moment. Then he groaned and rolled slightly to his side.

Sesshomaru snarled and sheathed his sword, then turned toward the well. He was never far away from the well since Kagome had left. Within hearing distance. Once he reached the ancient yet timeless structure, he sat and leaned against the boards. He crossed his legs in lotus position and laid his swords across his knees. He closed his eyes and began to meditate. Or at least try to meditate. Kagome had been gone two weeks. He had begun worrying but not enough to allow his bastard brother the chance to be alone with her. He sighed faintly and tried to imagine her face. As he formed the lines and contours of her jaw and cheekbones he focused on the feel of her skin under his fingertips. A soft smile began to touch his lips. It wasn't one of malice or sadistic intent, it was simply a serene, gentle expression as the form of his beloved came into view behind his eyelids. Next he focused on her scent and the gentle undertones of the European lavender and chamomile that laced her pleasing, natural, feminine smell. Finally he focused on the sound of her voice in the attempt of bringing his vision to life.

"You know, when you smile like that you're even more handsome than I could have imagined possible."

His eyes flashed open and focused on the beautiful girl who had somehow materialized before him. Her hair had been cut so that it didn't look so butchered. It was far too short, but the shape of it complimented her face and would grow out in time. He reached out and cradled her cheek gently, caressing her lips with his thumb. "Am I?"

She nodded and slipped into his lap, caressing his face tenderly. "Why were you smiling?"

His hand slipped around her waist and, in one quick, elegant movement, laid her down on the soft, tall grass. He leaned over her and, again the smile touched his lips. He lowered his brow to hers and breathed her in deeply. "I was thinking of you." He breathed and then captured her lips in a tender, loving kiss. His arm held her gently under her neck, his hand tangled in her short hair. His left knee was pressed into the ground next to her side so he did not crush her while his right leg nestled gently between her thighs.

She shuddered and slipped her hands along his sides and up his back where she clung to him gently. She sighed and melted into his kiss, savoring the sensation of his lips and tongue as he deepened their contact. The kiss seemed to last forever before he began to trail his kisses from her lips along her jaw to her ear and throat intermittently with gentle nips. Her eyes flashed open, then closed half way in a dreamy, hooded position as she arched softly to where his lips touched. She ran a hand through his hair, her hand grasping gently to the silk of his haori. "I missed you." She breathed, then gasped as his nips worked their way along her collarbone.

He kissed the fragile skin that covered the space between where her collarbones ended and her breastbone began, feeling a surge of delight course through him as she sighed and clung to him even tighter, her left leg curling around his right hip. "I missed you too." He whispered and let himself settle against her form with his head resting to the side against her chest. "I was beginning to worry."

"You had reason to worry…" She whispered, then smoothed his cheek as a soft grumbling growl made his chest rumble. She ran her fingers through mokomokosama to calm his beast as well. "My grandfather died the night after I got home. I was so caught up helping my mother with the shrine, I didn't take care of myself and I became terribly ill. Mom had to put me in the hospital for a few days until my fever went down…" She trembled as his arm wrapped around her tightly and he turned his head so his brow was resting between her breasts. "I was in bed the rest of the second week I was gone. I'm all right now, Love. I know that I shouldn't have pushed myself. My mother scolded me nearly every day because of it… But I couldn't just lay there and do nothing."

He nodded and raised his head, meeting her azure eyes with his smoldering gold. He kissed her brow and slipped his hand to the nape of her neck. "Then you don't need me to say the same things to you. You cannot put yourself in such danger, Kagome."

"I know… I have a quest to fulfill and…"

"No." He interjected. His eyes began to warm. There was a great vulnerability in his gaze suddenly. And Kagome, for a moment, could have sworn she saw fear. "You are more important than any quest for me." He traced her lips with his eyes and then captured her gaze again. She blushed and he leaned to kiss her brow, letting their auras flare together momentarily. "You are more than pack. I would abandon the fight with Naraku in a moment if I thought it would keep you from danger, but it will not. I cannot and will not lose you, Higurashi Kagome. Somehow you have become… Everything to me and I cannot imagine what it would be not to have you near me. I had to fight myself not to simply steal you away to my castle after I resurrected you. Watching you return to your home, while the right thing to do, was the hardest thing I've ever done. Until you came into my soul and learned what made me into who I am, I was severed into two creatures inhabiting the same space and now… You are there bridging the gap between my heart and mind and I… I need you to understand in this moment how much… How deeply I love you."

She felt like her breath had been stolen from her. And her voice. And her heartbeat. He had them all caged in the fathomless amber pools that were his eyes. Her eyes pooled with tears that slipped into her waving ebony locks and her fingers went to his lips, tracing them as if she could feel his words still holding to them. After several moments of his lips drinking away her tears with kisses and her breath and heart slipping back into their proper places, she found her voice. She leaned to his ear and kissed the delicate angular line of it before whispering to him. "I am yours forever."

Mokomokosama wrapped around her waist and he gripped her neck gently. In the same graceful manner, he sat up and cradled her against his chest, kissing her with a loving, possessive need. She clung to him and moaned softly. So softly it barely touched his hearing. He heard her heart speed softly and felt it where his thumb touched her pulse point. He broke their kiss and caressed his lips and cheeks over her face softly, breathing her in again deeply. "And I am yours."

She smiled and slipped her hand into her pocket, producing the astrolabe. "This is for you… My mother gave it to my father when they promised themselves to each other. She said that it is used to measure time and space by the position of the stars and spheres… So that you could always find your way to me."

He looked at the bronze and silver device and felt the same, placid smile form on his lips as she clasped the silver chain around his neck. She caressed his chest around where the necklace fell and smiled. "Thank you. I will not remove it."

She blushed and curled against his chest, gently gripping the silk at his collar. "I love you, Sesshou."

"I love you, Kagome." He breathed and held her tightly to him. He reveled in her presence and continued to ignore the two who were watching at a distance enviously and with hatred coursing through their auras. He knew who they were. He knew exactly what would be the result of their observing his intimate moments with Kagome and still he couldn't bring himself to care. She was his. She would always be his. For the first time in centuries, there was only Sesshomaru in his mind. Sesshomaru who loves Kagome.


	12. Chapter 12

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Not mine. Never will be.**_

**Silent Homage of Thoughts Unspoken**

_("The Light of Stars")_

_The night is come, but not too soon;_

_And sinking silently,_

_All silently, the little moon_

_Drops down behind the sky._

_There is no light in earth or heaven_

_But the cold light of stars;_

_And the first watch of night is given_

_To the red planet Mars._

_Is it the tender star of love?_

_The star of love and dreams?_

_O no! from that blue tent above,_

_A hero's armor gleams._

_And earnest thoughts within me rise,_

_When I behold afar,_

_Suspended in the evening skies,_

_The shield of that red star._

_O star of strength! I see thee stand_

_And smile upon my pain;_

_Thou beckonest with thy mailed hand,_

_And I am strong again._

_Within my breast there is no light_

_But the cold light of stars;_

_I give the first watch of the night_

_To the red planet Mars._

_The star of the unconquered will,_

_He rises in my breast,_

_Serene, and resolute, and still,_

_And calm, and self-possessed._

_And thou, too, whosoe'er thou art,_

_That readest this brief psalm,_

_As one by one thy hopes depart,_

_Be resolute and calm._

_O fear not in a world like this,_

_And thou shalt know erelong,_

_Know how sublime a thing it is_

_To suffer and be strong._

_Longfellow_

It had been agreed, through no help of Inuyasha and Kouga, that the best course of action was to take up residence in Sesshomaru's castle until Kagome was in full control of her abilities within the first night that the young miko had returned to her home. Kaede had agreed to travel to the seat of the Western Taiyoukai to help aid in Kagome's learning as well as to help keep order between the three alpha males who seemed so intent on establishing their dominance over one another. Jaken had been sent ahead the next morning along with the elderly miko in order to set up the palace for Sesshomaru's return along with his group of allies.

Kaede had studied Sesshomaru with intense, ancient eyes that, while only containing a fraction of his years, held a great deal more wisdom than the Taiyoukai. It was widely accepted by most youkai that, while most humans never attained more enlightenment than themselves in the course of their short lifetimes, there were certain groups, mikos and monks in particular, who, through some divine fluke of nature, came to possess vast spiritual wisdom that took most youkai a full millennia to attain. It was something about their training and the constant looking inward that allowed them to understand without trying and accept without repercussions. They simply had wisdom that belied their seemingly short lifetimes so, once they were in their later years, when placed along side a youkai of a relative age, their grasp of the universe and powers that be equaled, if not surpassed, in comparison.

And so it was, alone in her hut while the ancient miko took in the countenance of the great Sesshomaru, son of Inu no Taisho, that he sat with his head partially bowed and his eyes diverted in a rarely seen show of respect for the woman who was inspecting him. His hatred of humanity still burned in low embers at the core of his being but that loathing was quickly fading as he realized he could not love Kagome if he hated her kind. As humanity became less the low, base annoyances in his mind and more a neutral entity, he had found that he knew respect for their spiritual leaders and elders more readily and so, while this show of respect for Kaede seemed out of place, he found it completely justified.

"Ye understand that, while I can train Kagome in her miko powers, this new ability ye and Miroku have described me is well beyond my ability to teach."

"Do you at least know of it?" He asked softly with his eyes still diverted.

"That I do. It is said that Midoriko could do the same with her abilities. Her connection to the living things around her allowed her to enhance and strengthen her purification powers and alter them from holy to divine power. It is also said that this ability was what she was using in her great battle when the Shiko no Tama had been created. Midoriko, had she died and her soul been allowed to move on, would have reached nirvana and not been returned to this world."

"You are saying she knew she would create the Shiko no Tama?"

"It is uncertain what she knew and did not know. What is certain is that two souls so completely whole and connected to the world and netherworld could have combined to create the Shikon no Tama. The ability ye have told me that Kagome has gained can only be learned on her own. Training her as a miko formally will entail many months of work on her part and much focus. Ye understand that she cannot be diverted from the course once it is began?"

He met the old woman's eyes finally and his eyes began to smolder. "What are you inferring, old woman?"

Kaede smiled and shook her head with a knowing chuckle. "So quickly do ye slacken your respect for my place when ye think ye shall be denied. Do not fret. She will have time to herself, however ye must understand that it will be precious little time and so ye must make do with it until she has completed her training."

Sesshomaru had accepted Kaede's words begrudgingly and then had written a letter that was to be placed into the hands of the head of his household upon her arrival detailing all of the arrangements that needed to be made.

He walked back to the village with Kagome next to him. He was carrying her heavy backpack while she pulled her other bag behind her. Once he had sensed Inuyasha and Kouga turn away from where he and Kagome had been curled together and return to the village on their own, he had helped her stand and began a slow meander in the same direction.

Their walk had been silent, though on more than one occasion she had leaned softly against him and slipped her arm around his waist. He, again, cursed the loss of his left arm. He could not return the gentle embrace because of his carelessness, but even more so because Inuyasha even existed. It was such a simple thing, to wrap one's arm around a beloved. So simple it is taken for granted and then, when the ability is stolen away, it becomes the most important thing and the most missed. He would, instead, gently lean so that he could kiss the crown of her head. The light ribbons of her voice would touch his ears as she would sigh in pleasure and, for a moment, he could believe that his missing limb did not matter so long as his kiss could coax such a sound from her throat.

As they came into view of the village, he chuckled low in his chest, causing it to rumble, when he heard the delighted squeals of Rin and Shippo. Kagome smiled and dropped her bag, kneeling with her arms open to embrace the bounding children racing toward her.

She laughed as she was nearly bowled over by the force of both of them, but held them tightly to her once she had regained her balance. "You two are acting like I've been gone for years!"

"Two weeks!" Shippo cried, cuddling against her neck. "That's long enough to feel like years!"

Kagome felt Rin nod where she had her head buried against the miko's shoulder. "Inuyasha yelled at me!"

"What!?" She frowned and looked down at the little girl. She'd always liked Rin. She'd thought of her as a little sister and now more as a daughter considering her relationship to Sesshomaru. "Why did he yell at you? What could you have done?"

She sniffed and held up her hand. Her palm was wrapped in a bandage. "I tripped and knocked over his ramen. It burnt me and he yelled at me and called me a 'clumsy little wench,' and then Sesshomaru got angry."

Kagome's frown deepened as she pulled away from the children. She took Rin's hand gently and began to unwrap it. When she winced, Kagome looked up and met her gaze gently. "Don't be afraid, sweetheart. I'm going to kiss it better, alright?"

Rin nodded and sniffed again. Once Kagome removed the bandage and surveyed the damage, she realized that the girl must have been burnt only an hour or two earlier. It explained why the child was still so upset. She looked as if she had only just stopped crying. Kagome dipped her head gently to the girl's hand and laid a soft kiss on her hurt skin. She pulsed her energies and healed the painful burn away within only a few seconds. When she'd finished, the astonished little girl looked at her with bright, shimmering eyes and a large smile. She hugged Kagome again tightly. "Thank you, Kagome. It hurt a lot."

"I imagine it did, sweetheart." Kagome whispered and pet her hair gently, then looked up at Sesshomaru. The Taiyoukai was watching the interchange between his beloved and his ward. His eyes were dancing with residual anger at Inuyasha's brashness and warmth for the two girls who were so deeply held in his heart. "I assume you dealt with Inuyasha?"

He nodded. "Shortly before you returned."

"Would you be too put off if I dealt with him in my own way as well? I assume that the reason he did not come to check on me in my time because you forbade it and that had to have made him cranky, but he has no right taking that out on everyone else. Least of all a child."

Sesshomaru smiled, but it was not the tender, gentle turn of his lips that came when he thought of his miko or when he had time alone with her. It was a malicious smile. "I would not be offended in the least, my dear. Feel free to deal with him as you see fit while Sango and Miroku and I finish preparations to leave."

"Where are we going?" She asked softly as she stood and finished the short trek to Kaede's village carrying her bag in one hand while her other held Rin's hand and Shippo rode on her shoulder.

His smile faded and he turned his head to meet her eyes tenderly. "It was decided that you and the others should come with me to my palace, the seat of the Western Lands, so that you can learn to control your new abilities and also to complete your miko training. Kaede has already left with Jaken to make preparations so that all is ready when we arrive."

"You will like it there, Kagome. It is very beautiful with gardens full of flowers. Sesshomaru even had a field cleared for me and had his servants plant wild flower seeds in it so in the spring it's full of blossoms." Rin said with joy in her voice. She hadn't been home in several months and she had missed the gardens and her room. Sesshomaru had it always full of flowers cut from the gardens and ensured that there were pots of flowers growing on her balcony. It was like sleeping in her own garden.

Kagome smiled and looked from the small girl to Sesshomaru. The Taiyoukai had turned his head from them, but on feeling her gaze, returned his eyes to the beautiful miko and nodded softly. "It is easier to have flowers available for her rather than allowing her to venture outside the gates where there is danger."

"It makes the sentiment all the more sweet." Kagome said with play in her voice.

"This Sesshomaru is not sweet."

"Oh yes he is. But I promise I won't let anyone know your secret." She replied, mischief joining her note of playfulness. "Shippo and Rin won't tell anyone either, will you two?"

Rin shook her head adamantly, her smile widening slightly and Shippo chuckled. "I promise, Kagome. I won't tell anyone." The kitsune said, though he knew he would take delight in making jokes about it with Rin. Talking about it with someone who already was privy to the joke wasn't breaking his promise.

Sesshomaru grumbled something inaudible about being saddled with such an incorrigible mate, but could not help the mirth that was slipping into his gaze.

Kagome smiled at Sango who was waving and walking toward them. "How are you feeling?" She asked as she pulled her best friend into a tight hug.

"Very, very much better." She whispered into Sango's ear. She smiled and met her best friend's gaze with the slightest hint of sadness. "My grandfather died while I was home."

"Oh, Kagome, I'm so sorry!" She held both of her hands tightly and met the miko's eyes with sympathy. "How is your mother?"

"Better than I would have expected. She was only his daughter in law, but over the years the 'in law' part stopped mattering. I just… It was… I felt him die." She whispered and let her eyes fall to the ground. "I tried to save him, but there wasn't any thing I could do."

He looked down to her with a softly furrowed brow, his eyes full of concern. He caressed her cheek with his fingertips, letting the wet of her tears coat his skin. She met his gaze slowly and managed a weak smile for her love. "You did not tell me."

"It didn't seem very important." She whispered, then trembled softly. She'd told no one until then. Why did they need to know? But now she understood that they did have to know. They had to know because they were her family and even though centuries separated them and the rest of her family, what occurred in either time happened to all of them. "I'm sorry."

He drew her into his embrace and ran his hand through her hair gently. "Do not be sorry, Love. Only know that there is nothing that is of little importance if it affects you. I want to know."

She nodded and clung to him gently with her eyes closed. The tears slowed and she calmed enough that she felt all right pulling away. She met his eyes and he caressed her jaw before kissing her tenderly in a way that made her feel weak. "I could have you kiss me like that all day and never get tired of it."

His chest rumbled in amusement and his eyes danced with mischief. "We will have to test that theory someday."

Miroku cleared his throat as he approached. A knowing, playful smile graced his lips as he stood beside Sango. Rin giggled and sat next to Kagome's bag with Shippo sitting next to her with a wicked smile on his face. "Will we be departing today or waiting until tomorrow?"

Sesshomaru diverted his gaze from Kagome after noting the faint blush kissing her cheeks. "Today. It is early enough in the morning that we could make our way at least a fraction of the trip."

"Kouga has left to go and gather what remains of his pack and will meet us at your palace." Miroku said softly, meaningfully meeting the gaze of the Taiyoukai. Over the past two weeks, while Inuyasha had been openly hostile toward Sesshomaru, Kouga had been more subversive with cutting remarks and passive aggressive behavior.

Sesshomaru nodded faintly and inwardly cursed. Kouga had done nothing but make his time waiting for Kagome to return complete hell. He'd never had such a hard time cooling his temper as when Kouga decided to cut in with his comments or lurid descriptions of Kagome's eyes or her voice in ways and words that only a lover had any right using. He honestly did not care that the wolf had left. What he cared about was what the action said. It said that Kouga did not respect him enough to ask whether or not he could impose his whole pack upon the Western Taiyoukai's hospitality. "I will deal with the arrangements later then." He said with a clipped, irritated voice.

Kagome frowned and looked up at Sesshomaru. "What is the matter?"

He shook his head and pushed away his annoyance and anger. "Nothing worth discussing now. We need to prepare to leave."

She nodded faintly and then smiled. She would wriggle it out of him later. "Alright. Then lets get things ready." She turned and grabbed her bag as well as Rin's hand. "Come on. Lets get my bags onto AhUn, ok?" 

Rin nodded and giggled, running off with Kagome with Shippo racing along behind them. Sango took Kagome's bag from Sesshomaru and shouldered it, looking from the Taiyoukai to Miroku meaningfully. "You both know how strong she is. She can handle knowing what's been happening while she's been gone. She might even help handle Inuyasha and Kouga."

"What is happening now is not something she can easily help, Sango." Miroku said gently, meeting his beloved's eyes. "We will tell her, but she has no need to try and help sort this out. Where I know and accept what needs to be done, Kagome would not understand. She comes from a world where this kind of… Pecking order is considered asinine, but this isn't her time. Kouga and Inuyasha need to fall in line or else the next time we go to face Naraku, the fissure in our ranks will be our downfall."

"I still don't understand why Kagome can't help." Sango said with faint irritation.

"Because it is not her place to help. I respect her strength and her power, but what happens between women is nothing like what happens between men. You are able to work together without having to establish a true hierarchy. Men are not the same. Until Kouga and Inuyasha fall in line, we are put in danger." Sesshomaru replied with a gentle but firm intent. "If it is explained to Kagome, it must be done so gently or else she will take it as an affront. And it is not. It is simply how it must be done."

Sango smirked and shook her head. "Male youkai, I get it. Well, while you and the boys establish dominance, I will do my best to sit on the side lines and laugh at all of you for your silliness."

"It isn't silly, Sango." Miroku said, frowning deeply. "It is the way of things. There must be a leader."

Sango put up her hands to silence both males. She looked from one to the other with a carefully guarded ire at what she perceived as foolishness. "Forgive me if I, and perhaps even Kagome, do not agree with that. In the time that we have been traveling together we've seen exactly what having a predetermined leader has done to both humans and youkai. Establish dominance if you need to, Sesshomaru, but only so they stop questioning your rights to Kagome, and realize that even if you are able to make them back off this group will still discuss exactly what it is we will do, how we will act and what course we will take together rather than be dictated to. Now I'm going to go and help Kagome pack up." She turned before they could say anything more. For two weeks she'd watched the posturing of Kouga and Inuyasha with distaste and growing distain. She had watched as Sesshomaru had been more than patient with their behavior and, only on occasion, acted out against them. She'd applauded him silently, but now, hearing Miroku and Sesshomaru speaking about what needed to be done, she found she wanted to take a heavy club to all of the men's skulls to knock some sense into them.

She approached where Kagome, Rin and Shippo were packing up the bags onto AhUn. The great dragon was purring as Kagome would pet him now and again. Rin and Shippo were having more fun playing hide and seek between his legs, giggling and tickling each other when they'd capture the other. Sango paused as she saw Inuyasha approach Kagome. The miko turned and smiled faintly to the hanyou.

"Can I talk to you, Kagome?" He asked in a very un-Inuyasha voice.

She tilted her head and nodded. "Rin, Shippo, try not to hurt yourselves, I'll be right back."

"Ok Kagome!" Cried out Shippo as he tickled the nearly breathless Rin.

Kagome led Inuyasha a short distance away and fixed and angry glare at him. "Exactly what did you think you were doing yelling at Rin for no other reason than because your ramen spilt? She burnt herself, you dolt! She didn't deserve that."

Inuyasha winced and glared at her. "He told you, didn't he?"

"No. She did."

"Look… I'm sorry."

"I'm not the one you should be saying that to."

"I'll apologize later, I need to talk to you about something."

"More important than this?"

"Much."

"Say it because we're going to be leaving soon and I don't have much time to spare."

"I'm in love with you."

She was going to say something. She was sure that she was. Something about him being an incorrigible, unthinking bastard. Something about how cruel he could be when he wasn't thinking. But he was thinking now. She could see his mind flashing with complete understanding of what he was saying and the full implications of his words. "Inuyasha…"

"You don't really love him. He's a tactician. He's moving you around like he would his soldiers. You're confused because you were taken over by his memories and then he resurrected you. Your heart is still mine. It will always be mine and you know that."

She was going to say something. Something brilliant and powerful. Enough to stagger him. But she was so hurt, so completely torn apart that there was only one thing she could say. "Inuyasha _SIT!_"

"Kagome…"

"No! You just _sit_ there and you listen to me. If you even try to get up, I'll _sit_ you again and again until you can't move. You don't get to say that to me. Not ever again. Do you understand? You don't get to say that because you don't know anything about what has happened between Sesshomaru and me. You don't get to say that because you don't understand what's in my heart. But most of all, you don't get to say that because you forfeited your right to love me as anything but your friend and sister a very long time ago. You chose Kikyo over me again and again and again and my heart was broken so much I didn't think I'd ever be able to feel real love again. I didn't think I'd be able to trust enough to let that happen. How dare you just walk up to me and say that you are in love me now? When I'm finding happiness with someone who… Someone who can love me and give me his whole heart as easily as I always wanted to give mine to you? But you can't have it now. I've given it to him and I love him and there isn't anything you can say now that will change that. I know completely what he is and who he is. I didn't just see his memories, I experienced them. I lived them as if I was him, and I know what's in his heart. You don't have any right to say he's lying or that I'm confused because I know with perfect clarity exactly what I feel for him and it is so much deeper than I ever loved you… Because he loves me back."

He growled and stood quickly, before she could speak again. He pinned her against a nearby tree and kissed her fiercely to silence her words. They hurt him as much as his had hurt her and he wanted her to understand that. She would not return his kiss so he pressed her harder against the bark of the tree. She yelped and he took advantage of her slightly opened lips to deepen his kiss.

Her eyes flashed open and she bit his tongue hard. He cried out and jumped back, spitting blood. She spat out his blood and trembled, sinking to her knees. She felt hands on her shoulders and she cried out, jumping back from whoever it was that touched her.

"Kagome! It's me! It's Sango!" She'd seen and heard the whole conversation, then witnessed as Inuyasha broke. She'd almost run back to get Sesshomaru and Miroku before she heard Inuyasha cry out and fall back, bloodied. His tongue would heal quickly, but it had been enough of a shock for him to pull away and back off. Still he was nearby, watching.

Kagome whimpered and looked to Sango. Her eyes were far away and broken. The same look rested in them as when she'd woken up after taking Sesshomaru's memories. "He was h-hurting me… I… I couldn't let him h-hurt me… Not the way they did…"

"Shhh…" She gathered the terrified miko into her arms and rocked her gently. The children were nearby, looking on in shock. "Shippo. Rin. Go and get Sesshomaru. Now."

Her voice was soft but firm. The children did as they were told and ran off toward where they had last seen the Taiyoukai and monk.

"Sango…" She breathed, then sobbed softly.

"He's coming, Kagome."

"Why does it have to hurt so much?"

Sango frowned deeply and smoothed Kagome's hair. "Why does what have to hurt so much?"

"Love."

She smiled sadly and hugged the miko tighter. "Because love is something that grows into us. Its like roots growing into the earth. When something comes along and tries to pull it away, part of us gets torn because of it. The nature of living is that we lose and so love hurts because it is always tested. People who come along and envy its beauty try to pull it away and so we ache. But that doesn't mean it isn't worth having. It doesn't mean it isn't beautiful."

She sobbed softly, but smiled up at her friend. "I think I knew that already… I just had to hear it again."

He'd been listening from a distance away, letting his tongue heal. As the blood and pain ended, he found his voice again. "Kagome…"

"Don't." Came her voice softly.

"I need to say I'm sorry."

"I knew that already too, Inuyasha, but it doesn't do any good. Saying it doesn't mean you won't do this to me again. Saying it is just saying it unless you back up your words with action." She looked up but refused to meet his eyes. "If you really love me, you'll want me to be happy and let go the same way I did with you and Kikyo."

"So you forgive me?"

"No." Her voice cut through him and he completely grasped the gravity of the hurt he'd caused her. He'd lost control and now he risked losing his best friend. "I won't forgive you. I won't let myself because if I do you won't learn. Prove you really love me and then I'll forgive you."

He didn't have a chance to ask her how he was supposed to do that. A fist connected with his jaw before he could form the first word. He looked up and caught sight of his brother. The Taiyoukai's eyes were bleeding red.

All Sesshomaru knew was, as he raced up to find Kagome, that Rin had said Inuyasha had made the miko cry and then pushed her against a tree and kissed her. Rin had said that she had bit him and then fallen to her knees weeping and that Sango had sent her and Shippo to find him. All Sesshomaru knew was that, if his brother even began to fight back against him, he would let his beast overtake him and tear Inuyasha to shreds.

"Get up." He said through gritted teeth. "Face me."

He shook his head and spit out more blood. "No."

"You are a coward who makes women cry and then refuses to face the consequences. Stand up and face me now."

"Why? So you can beat me more?" He growled and yelped as his brother's foot violently came in contact with his abdomen, breaking his ribs.

"So you can reclaim what pitiful shred of honor you have left. Now stand up an face me before I rend you into the next world a pitiful, honorless, bastard hanou."

Inuyasha snarled, then slowly got himself onto his feet. He did not meet his brother's eyes. He knew what Sesshomaru wanted. He wanted submission. He wanted Inuyasha to shame himself in front of his own pack and accept Sesshomaru as his alpha. He loathed to even think about what it would mean, but he knew that if he didn't he would either die or lose any chance at forgiveness from the one person who really mattered to him. Kagome.

Sesshomaru let the poison in his blood surface in his claws, then raked them across Inuyasha's chest, scarring him with burning gashes that would remain for at least a century. By the end of that time, even his weakened hanyou blood would have destroyed any trace of the mark. The mark made Inuyasha his subordinate. Beta to Sesshomaru's Alpha. But more than that, it marked him as pack and Sesshomaru's second in command. He leaned forward, digging his claws in slightly as he finished his mark and whispered to his brother in fierce, feral tones. "Keep your friend's close and your enemies closer. If you make her cry again, I will kill you without a thought. If you touch her again, I will take your manhood and burn it to ash. I will not abide her tears."

He turned from Inuyasha and walked toward Kagome. The miko looked up at him with helpless, broken eyes. He knew what had hurt her even more than whatever it was Inuyasha had said to her. When he'd forced her, kissed her, Sesshomaru's memories had overwhelmed her. The kind of brokenness in her gaze could have only come from that place. He knelt in front of her and put out his arm, drawing her flush against him as she slipped into his embrace.

"I'm sorry…"

"Do not apologize. Tears will leach the pain away. They will ease the ache." He whispered and leaned to kiss away her crystal rivers coursing down her cheeks.

"I feel like all I do is cry."

"Only tears shed for foolish reasons or without reason at all hold any evil in them. When or if you ever cry those tears will I let you take any blame for them or apologize for their existence."

She smiled a weak, sad smile. "You know my heart like it were your own."

"It is my own. And I have yours." He whispered and helped her stand. "We should be on our way. It is a long trip."

Sango stood and walked to Miroku who had Rin by the hand and Shippo perched on his shoulders. The monk nodded to Kagome and Sesshomaru. "We are ready to leave. Kirara and AhUn are waiting."

"Then we will go now. Kagome will ride on AhUn with Rin and Shippo. I will lead the way. And you…" He turned slightly so his eyes fell only marginally on Inuyasha as he was nursing his wounds. "You will follow on the ground. I will trust that you can keep up on your own."

He helped Kagome onto AhUn after settling Rin and Shippo in front of her. His hand rested on her knee gently and he met her eyes. "We will talk tonight more and perhaps put your mind at rest. And mine. I want to know what he said to make you cry."

She covered his hand with hers and squeezed gently. "I don't want to make you angrier."

"Nothing would stoke my ire any further than it already is. Nothing could. If you need me, or anything at all, call out as we fly and I will be there." He took her hand and placed a gentle kiss against her palm before forming a cloud before him and taking to the air. AhUn followed with Kirara close behind.

On the ground, Inuyasha finished bandaging his wounds and chased after them on the ground at top speed. A pang of guilt surged through his gut and shame for what he'd done. He didn't understand why her reaction had been so broken and vulnerable. He'd expected rage and to be sat at least a few more times, but she'd simply crumpled. And then Sesshomaru had been there and held her and she seemed to calm. Her pain seemed to melt away and her strength started to return. The pieces he'd been collecting began to fall into place like a great puzzle that was the bond between Kagome and Sesshomaru. It was his memories in her that had caused her to crumple. It was those same memories that had been soothed with his presence. But more than his presence, it had been his tenderness and warmth that had calmed and helped to heal the pain that rippled through her. It was only partially that they shared experience. It was almost entirely that… _She really loves him. And he really loves her… Kami… I'm such a fool. And I'm going to spend the rest of my unnatural life trying to make this up to her. She's my best friend and I might have forever damaged her trust in me._


	13. Chapter 13

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Not mine. Never will be.**_

**Him Who Will But Wait**

_(From "Endymion")_

… … … … …

_Like Dian's kiss, unasked, unsought,_

_Love gives itself, but is not bought;_

_Nor voice, nor sound betrays_

_Its deep, impassioned gaze._

_It comes,--the beautiful, the free,_

_The crown of all humanity,--_

In silence and alone 

_To seek the elected one._

_It lifts the boughs, whose shadows deep_

_Are Life's oblivion, the soul's sleep,_

_And kisses the closed eyes_

_Of him, who slumbering lies._

_O weary hearts! O slumbering eyes!_

_O drooping souls, whose destinies_

_Are fraught with fear and pain,_

_Ye shall be loved again!_

_No one is so accursed by fate,_

_No one so utterly desolate,_

_But some heart, though unknown,_

_Responds unto his own._

_Responds,--as if with unseen wings,_

_An angel touched its quivering strings;_

_And whispers, in its song,_

_"'Where hast thou stayed so long?"_

_Longfellow_

Her hair always smelled like the soaps she used. Chamomile and English lavender is what she said the herbs were. When she had returned from her and Sango's bath, she had smelled the strongest of them and now, as night was waning into morning, the scent had faded into a light odor that made him keen his head closer to her hair.

She lay with her head resting against his knee so that he could touch her and run his fingers through her short hair. He had found himself amused that her hair had decided to curl on its own where it had only waved slightly before. Now it fell in the softest curls that fell over her face as she slept.

Their conversation returned to his thoughts as he leaned his head back against the tree where he was leaning.

"Tell me what he said, Love." His voice was soft as they walked nearby where Miroku and Sango were setting up camp with Inuyasha. The children had been set to finding AhUn some fresh grass to eat and so that left them some time alone while they gathered kindling and firewood.

She looked up at him with weary eyes. She was dressed in a pair of blue jeans that flared out at thigh level with embroidery of roses along the cuffs and a flowing white shirt that exposed a portion of her abdomen that, while it delighted Sesshomaru in one way, frustrated him in another. Part of him was glad he could so easily reach that delicate skin that usually would be hidden by any decent clothing, however it also gave anyone else who reached out to her the same access and so he wished to cover her up in the most concealing kimono he could find. "Does it matter so much?"

"Yes." He murmured and allowed himself to give in to his desire to slip his arm around her waist below the gauzy white material of her blouse. She blushed and leaned against him as they walked. "I will not kill him, I promise you."

"No, you won't kill him. You'll just scar him again, most likely." She looked up to meet his eyes. Her gaze was serious and worried. "I'll tell you what he said if you tell me what it was that was bothering you when you and Miroku were talking about Kouga leaving to gather his pack."

He sighed in mild aggravation. "I thought you had let that go."

"Nope."

"I am not so lucky."

"Not in this case." She replied playfully, giggling as he spun her to the ground, hugging her tightly to his chest as they landed so she rested atop of him. "In other ways, definitely very lucky."

"You think very highly of yourself."

"I wasn't talking about myself." She breathed and leaned in to kiss him tenderly. "I was talking about you not having to deal with Kouga as well as Inuyasha."

His chest rumbled in mirth as he kissed her deeply in response to her words. "Woman after my own heart."

"So it would seem."

He nipped her lips gently. "He tries my authority. In a pack, there can only be one alpha male and one alpha female. You are clearly alpha female. They wish to be alpha male over me and it will not do. I will not be passed over or made to submit when I have been chosen as the love of the alpha female."

She propped her head on her hands, her elbows digging into his chest, causing him to growl softly. "That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in the whole of my life. Even what Inuyasha said to me today comes in second to that."

"Which was?"

"Oh no. More about this alpha silliness." She walked one hand up to his face on her index and middle fingers only to flick his nose, causing it to crinkle. "I will not have men fighting over me or something so ridiculous as whose alpha. We work as a group in this pack."

"You do not understand."

"I understand completely. In my time I would have handed the three of you rulers and told you to go off behind a tree and measure yourselves to settle the argument. Men never change, no matter what age they live in."

"A ruler?"

"An implement of measurement."

"That is crass."

"The whole concept of fighting to figure out whose the bigger man is crass. Frankly, my way is less bloody."

He rolled himself on top of her, quickly pinning her hands above her head. He kissed her gently, nipping her lips sharply. "You think that I am crass?" He kissed her again, delighting when she sighed in pleasure.

"Not when you kiss me like that."

"Tell me what Inuyasha said to you, Love. I promise not to be as crass as you were in my own response."

She smirked and sighed faintly. "Do you really mind my teasing?"

"Do not divert the conversation until it is finished."

"But diversion is so much fun." She laughed, and then moaned softly as he captured her lips in a deep, fierce kiss. She felt weak and dizzy by the time he pulled away. "What were we talking about?"

"What Inuyasha said to you that made you cry."

"Oh… Yes. He said… He said that I was confused. That what I was feeling was because I had been overwhelmed by your memories and that you had resurrected me. That you were only a tactician and that you didn't love me at all."

"That is all he said?" He asked softly. He had no doubt what she said was true, but when he'd questioned if there was a further extent to the conversation, her diverted eyes suggested she was hiding something. "Tell me, Love. It is only fair since I let you tease me about what I told you."

"How is that fair?"

"Because it suits my intent."

"I see. So long as it suits your intent." She grumbled and sighed, leaning her brow to his gently, letting their auras blend. "He told me that he was in love with me."

He could not suppress the growl that had been building in his throat. The intensity of it was unintentional, though he did not realize how aggressive it was until he felt her tremble beneath him. He kissed her gently to reassure her. "I won't kill him, Love. I promise. He only angers me for his thoughtlessness."

"I swear, rulers would do the trick."

"Again, crass. And unnecessary."

"You seem really sure about that, mister." She teased then trembled and sighed as he began nipping down her jaw to her throat.

"This Sesshomaru has no doubt who the winner of such a measurement would be."

"Now who's being crass?" She laughed then gasped as he nipped the sensitive skin of her throat, trailing kisses along her collarbones. He released her hands to slip his hand behind the nape of her neck, gently gripping the short hairs he found there. She slipped her fingers into his hair, combing through its length.

He smiled a faint, pleased smile before capturing her lips again heatedly, deepening the kiss until he could feel her trembling and hear her soft sighs give way to whispered moans of pleasure. _I could have her now. I could claim her, bond with her and mate her right now without any repercussions… Aside from risking weakening myself in the face of battle. The bond itself holds the possibility of transferring harm to her if I am damaged in battle to the point of death. It was the injuries Inuyasha's mother sustained when our father was killed in battle that plagued her and eventually killed her. I will not put Kagome in danger. Not when our final battle with Naraku is at hand. _ He pulled away reluctantly and met her eyes with love and desire smoldering in his golden depths. He saw her confusion and sighed, caressing her face gently. "When Naraku is defeated. I will not risk you, Love. I will not risk us."

"Some risks are worth taking."

"Not this one. If I claim you and bond to you, I will mate you. If I mate you, I will ensure I sire a child within you. With a child between us, I could never allow you to risk your life in battle for the sake of the life we created and then Naraku would not be defeated as easily as if you were fighting with us. More blood would be shed and, as I know your heart would pang for not being able to stop the unnecessary loss of life, you would take on the guilt for every human and beloved who died in the wake of our risk."

She sighed and nodded faintly. "I agree, but I don't have to like it."

"Neither do I. If it were only a matter of us without Naraku as a threat, I would happily make you mine now and begin our family, but that is not the case. So we will have to make do with kisses and closeness and wait until our quest is completed." He kissed her tenderly, feeling her tremble beneath him. "Then I have full intent to lock the door to our chambers and pin you to our bed for as long as it takes to sate us."

She laughed and traced his features with her fingertips. "If you aren't careful, that might leave us alone in bed for several weeks."

"I will have to remember to abandon care. This option sounds more like heaven than peril to my ears."

"Mmm, but what if I want you to take your time? Abandoning care might make you too eager."

"No. I have every intention of savoring every moment and every inch of you."

"You make it sound like you have everything already planned out." She said with a partially quirked brow.

He met her eyes with mischief, play and wickedness that made her heart beat twice as fast and her chest ache with the sharpness of her breathing. "You forget that I am a tactician." He said in veiled tones that sent shivers through her.

As he ran his fingers again through her short hair where her head rested on his thigh, he wondered idly whether or not his decision to wait had been the best one. He wanted her and now that he knew what Inuyasha had said, even with the hanyou as his second in command, the closest position to him, Sesshomaru worried that Inuyasha's actions might still affect his miko on one level or another.

He looked up and saw the hanyou in question sitting on a high tree branch across camp, keeping watch over all of them, though his eyes often strayed down to the miko and Sesshomaru. Every time, though, that he fixed his golden orbs onto the pair, his hand would reach up and touch his bandaged chest as if to remind himself that the scarring mark left there by his brother was the symbol of the connection between the Taiyoukai and his beloved friend. Inwardly, behind half lidded amber pools, Sesshomaru was taking delight in the small, seemingly unimportant action. There were times in his life that he was simply grateful to the powers of the divine for their infinite sense of humor. Such a time came when he had first battled his brother and seen the lack of discipline in the young heir to his father's seat of power. When his mother had died, he had been left to fend for himself in a world that, all for the elder youkai who had decided to follow the wishes of Inu no Taisho, wished for the young hanyou boy to die because he symbolized the last shred of connection and responsibility they had to the former Taiyoukai's alliance with humanity. If Inuyasha died, the elders would have no choice but to elect Sesshomaru, who, it was well known even then, hated humans even more than Ryukotsusei. Now, as he observed Inuyasha's pain, he again thanked Kami for that simple lack of true discipline that would allow for such a visible show of emotion. Regret, pain, self-loathing and guilt were all tied up in the simple act of raising his hand to the wound on his chest and Sesshomaru couldn't have been more delighted.

He returned his icy, sinister gaze back down to the miko who had shifted onto her back in her sleep. His eyes melted and filled with affection for the beautiful girl as he reached down and pushed one of her soft curls away from her face in a furtive, tender motion. She smiled faintly in his sleep and he, for the countless time that night, faintly regretted that he had not given in to their desire for union and simply taken her out in the forest and made her his in body and soul. _If we press on tomorrow until late in the evening, we should reach my palace without any difficulty. Once we are there, certainly there will be time that I might steal her away. I know that I should wait until we have defeated Naraku. It is not safe to go into battle with a new mate, especially knowing that she will be his major target in the fight. But anything could happen in battle. Either one of us could be taken, as much as I am loath to admit it. With the nearly completed jewel in Naraku's possession, the battle could go either way and I know, even if I were not to yield to our desires, the connection I already have to Kagome will divert me. And since Naraku knows, he will use that to his advantage. I will already be distracted by her… And at least if we were bonded and she were to die, I could allow myself to succumb to her wounds of my own will and follow her._

His last thought was enough to make his eyes flash in amusement and frustration. _I am turning into you, Father. I love her so much it is making me weak. So much I cannot imagine living without her. I wish to blame this all on you, but I can't seem to find a way… No, there is still a way. Your damned alliance with Midoriko and the Shikon no Tama were the reasons I went to Ryukotsusei in the first place. In the second place, had I never gone to him to ensure that humanity and Miyoko were safe, I never would have had such memories for Kagome to empathize with and there would be no connection at all. But no… No. I won't think those things any more. When I think on them, my desire to blame you become gratitude that cuts into me. Without those experiences I would not have her and I refuse to see her as anything more or less than my own salvation. Without her, the wounds from my past never would have closed. They would have continued to fester. And though I may regret that I even have the scars to begin with, I will not regret their healing. I wonder if I'll ever tell you the power you have over me, Kagome. I wonder if I ever should._

Kagome smiled faintly in her sleep again and her lips moved in a soft whisper. He listened faintly and felt that small, warm smile touch his lips that was only meant for her. "Sesshou…" Came the soft, tender whisper of his name.

_But perhaps, Kagome, you already know._ He thought and caressed her cheek just as the first ribbons of light cascaded into camp.

_Sorrow and silence are strong,_

_And patient endurance is godlike._

_Longfellow_

They had been traveling for the whole of the day. Only once or twice had they stopped to allow AhUn and Kirara to rest in their travels, however their respites had been brief and so everyone was feeling slightly travel weary with the exception of Sesshomaru. He looked back and his eyes glittered with amusement. Kagome was fighting sleep while holding a sleeping Rin and Shippo against her. He slipped back along side AhUn and caressed her cheek.

She smiled and leaned into his cool touch slightly. "I'm awake."

"Only barely." He whispered and traced her jaw with his claws, causing her to shiver slightly. "We are very nearly there."

"How close is very nearly? Its already dark."She rubbed her eyes absently with one hand.

"Another half hour at most. And once we are there, our rooms will be ready for us and you need only crawl into bed and sleep." He said in his more silken tone that had a way of wrapping around her psyche.

"Where will I be sleeping?" She asked. Her eyes were so weary and child-like. For an instant her look reminded him of Rin when she insisted that she was not tired and did not need to go to bed shortly before she curled up against his leg and succumb to a deep slumber.

"I have had a room prepared for you near mine. I did not know where you would wish to sleep."

"Where I have been sleeping." She murmured as her eyes began to droop closed.

He sighed and shook his head as his chest rumbled in mirth. He flew closer to AhUn so that the miko could lean against him as she slept with her arms so protectively clutched around the children sitting in front of her. He kissed the crown of her head and decided that she would be better off waking in his bed than in the one that had been prepared for her. He did not want her waking up with any fear since he knew full well now that she was asleep he would ensure she did not wake and upon morning she would be disoriented.

Half an hour later they had come upon his palace built in the cliffs of one of the taller mountains settled in his lands. If one looked from the western balcony, a view of the sea was visible on days when the sky was clear of mists. At the base of the mountain was a large lagoon that was fed from the ocean and from the river that ran from the top of the mountain fed by snow melts year round. The river cut through the land his palace was built on along the back through the gardens where Rin's field was located. A small forest was also along the southern wall just beyond the field of wild flowers. The palace was surrounded and fortified by a great barrier that had been in place for millennia and had not waned in its strength since it had been erected. The barrier thinned as it sensed its master approaching and allowed for those in the air to enter without having to pass through the gate. Inuyasha, however, would have to wait there until Sesshomaru gave permission for him to pass.

Upon landing in the courtyard, Sesshomaru landed beside AhUn and gathered the miko into the embrace of his arm and mokomokosama once servants had taken Shippo and Rin from her arms. She had whimpered in protest, then calmed as she felt the gentle touch of the Taiyoukai's lips brush against hers in a chaste kiss. She curled into his embrace and drifted back into a deep slumber.

"My Lord! My Lord! You have returned!" Cried out Jaken in shrill tones that offended anyone within hearing distance.

Sesshomaru snarled at the toad in warning, which silenced him quickly. "You will be quiet, all of you. If any of you wake her or the children, I will ensure a swift departure from this world."

His servants bowed their heads in submission and he turned from them so they could deal with their baggage. He nodded to Miroku and Sango goodnight and then headed toward his room. Before reaching it, he paused and instructed Jaken that Inuyasha would need to be admitted to the palace at the gates, but that he should be made to wait at least an hour. Smiling maliciously, the Taiyoukai of the West entered his rooms and strode over to his bed, laying the miko down on the silken comforter.

His room was simple, yet splendidly decorated in rich fabrics and tapestries. It was a warrior's room with the walls covered with mounted weapons he and his family had collected over the centuries. He mused that she would most likely change his surroundings, but he found that he didn't care in the slightest. Whatever change she made would be for the best.

Once the servants had brought in her belongings and set them to the side, he walked over and found her nightgown hidden in the recesses of her second bag. He mused how thin it was and how the material seemed to flow and billow in ways that certainly would hide her frame, but leave nothing to the imagination in the right light.

He sat beside her and slowly undressed her, careful not to wake her and not to divert his eyes downward any further than he needed to. After an agonizingly long fifteen minutes of frustration that included convincing him self that he did, indeed, need to dress her in her nightgown, he turned to the task of slipping her into bed, then undressing himself so he could join her.

Rather than, him self, succumb to temptation, he slipped into flowing hakama and curled around her, drawing her against his chest with his free arm. She sighed and pressed against him. She was smiling in her sleep and he found he could not look away from her even for a moment. He leaned gently to her and kissed her tenderly, but chastely as he ran his hand through her hair.

"I do not imagine I will be able to sleep with you beside me." He whispered to her, barely letting sound reach her ears. "But I imagine the lack of sleep will be rewarded, for I never knew greater bliss than watching you sleep." He kissed her brow and allowed their auras to blend once again, smiling his soft smile as she sighed in her sleep, whispering his name. "Somehow I think there will be greater bliss as we become closer, Love… But for that I will have to be patient. I doubt my father or teachers could have designed a better test for my patience than you… Nor a more beautiful and worthy one. Sleep, Love. I will be waiting for you in the morning."


	14. Chapter 14

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Not mine. Never will be.**_

**Into A World Unknown**

_(From "Weariness")_

… … … … …

_O little hearts! that throb and beat_

_With such impatient, feverish heat,_

_Such limitless and strong desires;_

_Mine that so long has glowed and burned,_

_With passions into ashes turned_

_Now covers and conceals its fires._

_O little souls! as pure and white_

_And crystalline as rays of light_

_Direct from heaven, their source divine;_

_Refracted through the mist of years,_

_How red my setting sun appears,_

_How lurid looks this soul of mine!_

_Longfellow_

She woke slowly with the kiss of warm light across her throat. First she was conscious of the softness she was nestled in and how it formed to the subtle contours of her body and the weight of soft silkiness laid over her. Next she felt the solid, heated form she was so tightly pressed against and the arm that was wrapped around her. She felt herself smile faintly as she became aware of the kisses that were being laid gently upon her eyes and cheeks and lips as he sensed her waking. She had almost spoken when he captured her lips in an almost reverent kiss. She sighed in pleasure, opening and savoring the sweetness and warmth of their mutual depth and how their lips felt opened, yet colliding with urging, sensual heat. His kisses often overtook her senses completely so that there was only the overwhelming, overlapping sensation that came with the merging of their contact.

He pulled away slowly, placing tender, light kisses against her lips as she gasped softly for breath. "You are so beautiful…" He breathed, pressing to her gently, savoring how their forms simply fit together as they curled against each other. He pushed a few locks of hair from her face and met her still sleepy eyes. "Kaede was here at dawn to begin your training. I asked her for a few more hours for you to sleep, so she will be back here fairly soon."

She grumbled and pressed her face into his chest. "No."

"No?" He mocked gently, caressing the small of her back. "But that is why we are here. For you to train."

"I want to stay in bed." She said, pouting faintly as she looked up to meet his eyes. "With you."

"That is very tempting. Too tempting. You are playing me with things you know I have difficulty saying no to."

She smiled faintly, fighting to hold her pout. "Don't you want to stay in bed with me?"

His chest rumbled with amusement and his eyes danced with mirth. He rolled atop of her, gently gripping the nape of her neck as he settled himself gently between her thighs, trembling almost imperceptibly when her legs gently drew up against his hips. "This is fire you are playing with, Love."

She sighed and smiled sadly. "I know… I'm sorry."

"You aren't sorry that you teased me, you are sorry that you cannot get your own way."

"That too." She murmured with her eyes glittering with mischief. She reached up and ran her fingers through his bangs and then back, through his hair, feeling him tremble again where he rested against her. "I want to pretend that there is no Naraku… Only for a day."

Her words were heavy with desire and need. But the object of that desire and need was only partially him. The other part was for normalcy and a few brief moments when the world wasn't balanced on her slender shoulders. He wanted to oblige her, needed to oblige her. Only duty held him back. He leaned and kissed her tenderly, then slowly began to pull away.

She whimpered and wrapped her arms around his neck so he drew her up with him as he sat up. She slipped into his lap, straddling his hips. "You are making this very difficult." He murmured, wrapping his arm around her hips as she pressed against him. He was certain she felt his readiness. There was no way she could not, she was pressed completely against it, causing him a kind of agony he was certain even his enemies shouldn't have to endure.

He swore he caught her smile in a way that almost made him shiver for the maliciousness in it. She, most definitely, had too many of his memories and person swimming in her mind for such a pure face to take on such a devious look. "What is so difficult?" She asked with nothing but honey and innocence lacing every note of her words.

She shifted again and he growled, suddenly and sharply pinning her back against the pillows, causing her to yelp in surprise. He looked down into her eyes and then pressed his crescent moon to her naked brow, closing his eyes as her lids hooded the azure of her gaze. "I would bond to you, claim you completely as my mate and take you here if I could ensure no child would come from the action, but I can not. It is cruel what you are doing to me, Kagome. It is cruel because you know what you are doing and you refuse to abate. This is not a game…"

He scented his tears and opened his eyes to find her expression pained and overwrought. He pressed his lips to each clear, salty stream and drank it away with a kiss. "Don't cry, Love. Please… I did not mean to hurt you."

His voice touched her ears gently and she opened her eyes slowly to meet his amber gaze. She traced the lines on his cheeks, his arms, and his sides with infinite tenderness, as if memorizing him. "I'm not trying to torture you. Or hurt you. Or be cruel. There's a chance one of us or both of us will die when we face Naraku. Most likely me when I try to take the jewel. You don't understand… I've seen into your history and soul. I know everything about you, but you know next to nothing about me. I'm just so tired, Sesshou… I'm tired of waiting for my dreams to come true." Her lips touched his with the faintest pressure, but he felt as if he were being overtaken by the tides. "My heart's been broken into pieces so many times I've lost count. And now I have you and you have me and I want, so desperately… So completely to know what it would be like to surrender to you… Because there's a chance if we wait for the end of all of this, I won't make it to that point and I don't want to miss out."

He felt like kicking himself. Like facing the brunt of his own sword for his own lack of perception. Yes, she had been manipulating him, but she wasn't him. She wouldn't do so just to be cruel. She was Kagome and Kagome was incapable of causing someone pain simply to laugh and enjoy their agony. Even in his years before he had been taken captive by Ryukotsusei, he had been cruel and sadistic to everyone but his sister. He'd almost forgotten how similar in spirit Miyoko, Rin and Kagome were. They were the gentle lapping of the tide against the shore. It was not in their power to be intentionally harmful.

"I won't let you die, Kagome. We are both going to survive. We are going to make a life together."

"You can't promise that." She breathed, trying desperately not to break down even more. "The only thing you can promise me is this moment and it isn't going to last."

He frowned faintly and nipped at her lips. "What has brought this on, Love?"

She trembled and clung to him, pressing her face into his shoulder. "I died, Sesshou. You brought me back, but I did die. I saw them pulling at me, trying to take me away and I fought so hard to stay… But I thought I wasn't going to make it for a moment. And in that moment I realized I'd missed out on so many things. So many things I wanted for my life… But most of all, I missed knowing what it would be like belonging to you. I told you I've never felt so at home and safe as I am when I'm with you. I was willing to wait at first, and I will. It is just so much harder because I feel like my time is slipping away now."

"But Kagome, it isn't…"

"Knowing that and believing that are two separate things, Love." She breathed, lying back against the pillows, again meeting his eyes. "I'm afraid of dying with regret."

He felt himself shudder somewhere deep in his soul. When had he ever fought so hard not to surrender to his desires? When was the last time he denied his nature so fully? He met her gaze and realized that his internal war was futile. It was over a hypothetical scenario that the tactician within him could not disregard. _So I will not disregard it. It is there. I stand looking at a risk that I either take or do not take. In battles, such risks have brought me great success as well as great failure. What I do know is the time we have until the final confrontation with Naraku is finite. Everything that occurs after that is unknown and indefinite. She is powerful, but she is mortal. I risk losing her more than my own life and it terrifies me, but it also brings me strength. Not desperation… Strength. She is my reason for fighting._

He leaned down and captured her lips, allowing his hunger and need to slip into their contact. He heard her gasp softly, opening her mouth so he could deepen their kiss unabated. A shiver passed down his spine as she ran her fingers through his hair, gripping gently at his shoulders as he pressed himself more surely between her thighs, signaling his intent. She reached down and gently pulled the thin material of her gown up until it was to her waist. He broke the kiss long enough to remove the beautiful, but momentarily offending article of clothing, then, with Kagome's assistant, loosened his hakama until he could kick them aside. Their kiss was more passionate and fiery as their skin touched completely than he or she could have imagined possible.

He cursed himself once again for his carelessness, which cost him his arm as he was forced to break their kiss. He met her gaze and smiled the soft smile he reserved for only her as he began to kiss his way down her body. With every movement lower, toward his goal, he would pause and look at her again, admiring how beautiful she was bathed in the pink hue of her arousal with crimson staining her lips as her blood heated through. He ached as he had so many times before to taste her, and so he bent and did so, his chest rumbling in pleasure as he heard her cry out breathlessly from his kiss.

She was, indeed, pure. Untouched and sweet as upon her birth, but now fully blossomed. He remained at her heated core, determined to savor that innocence for the short duration it would remain intact. It was her gift to him and he intended to attribute the reverence such a treasure deserved.

It was the frantic, aching sound of her panting that stilled his attentions and drew him back to kiss her lips heatedly. She clung to him as he settled again between her thighs. Her heart was racing; her body still limp from pure bliss. "Sesshou…" She gasped into his ear, then whimpered as she felt his teeth and mouth made their way to her throat.

"Don't be afraid…" He breathed against her heated skin, causing her to shiver. "Submit to me and there will be no pain in our bonding."

"Yes, Love…" She whispered, and then cried out as her throat was taken into his mouth. He bit down sharply, but not enough to break the skin. She felt mokomokosama, who had been curled up at the end of the bed, snake up and wrap around her abdomen protectively as their bonding began.

At first her aura fought the invading energy of the Taiyoukai as he claimed her utterly. She could not fight off the resistance of her spirit, no matter how she tried, and the pain it caused overwhelmed her. Every part of her ached. For a moment she could swear her hair hurt.

_Calm, Love. Let it happen._

_Sesshou? How is this possible?_

_It is the bond being formed. We will share a rapport between us, though it is only this strong during the bonding… Beloved, you must relax and let me claim you._

_I'm trying, Sesshou… I can't calm my aura. I think… I think it's trying to purify me._

_Don't be afraid, Kagome. Just accept me. It will end the pain of the bonding._

_I… I don't know how… _ She began to weep, clinging to him and clutching at his hair as he continued to bond with her. "Kami, please… I want him. I need him." She gasped and then bit back a scream as a surge of his aura fought to overwhelm hers.

She began to pant softly as she felt her aura weakening. She knew it was not supposed to be like this. Her aura was her life force. Theirs were to be bonded, not extinguished and replaced only by his. Then understanding flashed through her mind. She began to open herself to him even more, but instead of allowing his aura to overwhelm her, she began to assimilate it into her own, letting their energies flow together and merge into a singular energy that would become the bond. Had she been youkai, she would have only needed to relax, but with her miko powers, she had to claim him as completely as he claimed her.

He groaned and shuddered as he felt the bond form between them. It was more energy than he could have imagined surging and spiraling between them. He released her throat and kissed her heatedly, gripping the nape of her neck gently but with authority. He pressed to her, hearing her sharp gasp as he began to enter her. "Shh…" He nipped her ear and jaw, kissing her again tenderly. "The pain will pass quickly."

She clung to him, forcing herself to breathe as he thrust quickly into her. A bolt of agony, only a whisper in comparison to the beginnings of their bonding, passed through her form. She wrapped around him, panting as she adjusted to the feel of his welcomed invasion.

He watched her expressions with fixed curiosity and wonder. He leaned down to her and nipped her lips lightly. "I love you." He whispered as he began to take her in a slow yet forceful rhythm, savoring every aspect of her through their merging.

"I love you… Sesshou…" She gasped as the blinding moment where pain gives way to pleasure overwhelmed her senses. The agony of only moments before melted away like it was nothing more than an unpleasant dream and was replaced with a floating, misty realm of pleasure and need between them.

He groaned as he felt her nails cut into his back slightly and quickened the rhythm between them. He pressed their brows together, panting softly, breathing her in as they mated. She smelled, sounded, looked, tasted and felt nothing but beauty to him and as their auras merged and danced along their bond, even his sixth sense was found to be utterly in awe of her. Her cries filled his ears to the extent that he did not even have to ignore the knocking at their door nor the voice of the old woman, Kaede, as she called out that she would leave the beginning of Kagome's training until the next morning.

Climax blended with climax as the pair spun together in heady bliss. Time did not matter, nor did responsibility or quests or vendettas. There was only their coupling and connection forged and re-forged with vague, unknown intent except with in the recesses of their souls. From the moment Sesshomaru had begun to form their bond, mokomokosama had been wrapped protectively around the miko's lower hips, much to the chagrin of his master. The tactician wished complete closeness with his mate and the furry barrier between their skin annoyed him while at the same time, his beast was a part of him and so he could not give in to too much of his ire considering he was touching her even if it was mokomokosama wrapped around her.

What his beast, still partially separated from Sesshomaru, sensed would have halted the Taiyoukai in his tracks and so mokomokosama had veiled the truth in a soft musk and his presence. The miko could not have known. Not even with her spiritual powers, human's knowledge of their bodies was limited. Most had abandoned their instincts centuries before and Kagome had been born even further in the future, which, in the beast's opinion, had weakened her ability to sense the rhythms of her body even more. Neither knew. Neither would know as the beast traversed the bond between the mates and coaxed the miko's energies to form an almost invisible spiritual barrier deep within her for protection.

Her aura responded in almost sentient agreement with the Taiyoukai's beast and set aside just enough power to ensure the barrier did not fall or waver and so was frozen unconsciously within the girl until she would become aware of what had occurred.

He felt his strength waning, finally. He had not realized it would take so much to exhaust him self completely. He fought his weariness until they came to their final climax, then pulled from her and wrapped around her protectively. Mokomokosama did the same and she felt herself smiling through the haze of intense afterglow and exhaustion. He kissed the nape of her neck and the juncture where her neck and shoulder met, caressing her form tenderly.

"I love you." She breathed and trembled as his arm wrapped around her abdomen and pulled her flush with his form. "So incredibly much."

His eyes fell onto the waning light through the Eastern windows of their rooms. It was not yet night, but mid-day had well passed and it was now in the afternoon. He heard as her breathing began to slow. Sleep was taking her. He gently kissed the lobe of her ear and smiled softly at the faint sigh that escaped her. "I love you too. Rest, beloved. I will protect you forever."

As she drifted off into sleep, her hand moved to cover his where they both rest atop of mokomokosama where he protectively wrapped across her womb. The beast felt himself relax. Time would tell what would happen, but for the moment, they were safe and together and nothing in the world could separate them.

Somewhere, far to the North and East, a shadowy figure sat watching as the waves crashed harshly on the rocks, cutting up in threatening white walls of foam. He felt the wind whip and churn before another presence came to be by his side.

"You sought me out."

"I have a proposition."

"No doubt you do. We shall see if it is worth my time or if you have simply come here to die."

"I'll help you complete the jewel on one condition."

"What is that?" The figured turned and fixed an oily smile onto the face of his visitor.

"That when you win, you will not harm the miko, Kagome. And that you'll make sure to kill that Taiyoukai, Sesshomaru."

"I could kill you now and only be missing the last two shards."

"We both know that without someone close to them, you'll never get those last shards. You need me."

The shadowy man smiled sadistically. "Yes. I do. I'll do what you ask with one addendum."

He frowned and studied the sinister man before him. He felt like he was bargaining with the devil. "Which is?"

"If, when I give her to you, she is carrying his child, you will allow me to have the child to raise as my own."

The other man paused, then slowly nodded. "I won't want some mutt's baby. It's a deal. Kagome's safety and Sesshomaru's death."

"What of Inuyasha?"

The visitor smirked. "What of him? He's your vendetta, not mine."

"Yes." He replied to his visitor. "That, indeed, he is.


	15. Chapter 15

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Not mine. Never will be.**_

**All Things Come Round /b **

_(From "Mething Left Undone")_

_Labor with what zeal we will,_

_Something still remains undone,_

_Something uncompleted still_

_Waits the rising of the sun._

_By the bedside, on the stair,_

_At the threshold, near the gates,_

_With its menace or its prayer,_

_Like a mendicant it waits;_

_Waits, and will not go away;_

_Waits, and will not be gainsaid;_

_By the cares of yesterday_

_Each to-day is heavier made;_

_Till at length the burden seems_

_Greater than our strength can bear,_

_Heavy as the weight of dreams,_

_Pressing on us everywhere._

… … … … …

_Longfellow_

Breakfast felt heavy in her belly. The tension in her bow felt overwhelming as she focused in the way Kaede had instructed. There were many ways to focus her energies into her arrows. Purification and sealing were only two and while purification was the most commonly used, the others were also incredibly important to master.

Currently the arrow held so taunt in her fingertips was an arrow of wounding for youkai. It caused damage that did not purify their life force and could be used to weaken an opponent without fear of ending them. The other two she had been practicing had been an arrow of absorption which, essentially, absorbed the energy of a youkai and dispersed it, rendering them powerless and an arrow of deflection which, if properly aimed, carried the possibility of deflecting a youkai's attack. It, next to the arrow of wounding, was the most difficult to master because, while an arrow of wounding required her to focus her energies in such a way that they caused harm without the possibility of purification, the arrow of deflection required her to perfect her skill with her bow.

It was only after several aggravated, angry groans after failing to connect with several of the attacks Inuyasha had thrown at her with his claws that Kaede had suggested she move on to the arrows of wounding. It wasn't because she was a bad shot. She'd deflected many of his attacks with success. It was simply that she was wearing out quickly and that, according to both the hanyou and the elderly priestess, meant that she needed to work on her endurance.

It was nearing lunch now and she felt almost ill considering eating again with the way her stomach felt. Three weeks had passed since they had arrived at Sesshomaru's palace, only two since Kouga had decided to grace them with his presence. He had stepped not five feet into her mate's offices before he insulted the security and safety of the area. He'd only added insult to injury by suggesting that the only thing that would repel Naraku would be his and his pack's presence on and around the grounds.

Inuyasha, who had been sitting, discussing tactics with Sesshomaru that afternoon, had relayed the whole confrontation to her.

Sesshomaru, Inuyasha, had said, was rigid the moment Kouga had entered. He had not been announced, he had simply barged in and smirked at the brothers who, while on better terms than a week previous, were still tense around each other to begin with and always itching for a fight.

"Do you realize I can just walk up to your gates without anyone stopping me? Anyone could make it to your gates without a fight and then what would you have? You'd be repelling them so close you'd never have a chance! Thank Kami I'm here with my pack! We'll strengthen your boarders real quick." The wolf smiled snidely at the Taiyoukai and his hanyou brother. "I'd have thought with Kagome under your protection and within these walls the two of you would have been more careful. Shows how much you care, Sesshomaru. Shows how much the both of you care."

According to Inuyasha, that was where her mate had broken. With the ease and grace only possessed by her beloved, he crossed the room in a blur, enclosed his hand around the wolf youkai's throat, piercing with acid kissed claws, and threw him through the window into the gardens. She had heard the crash and then the screams of Rin on the other side of the palace. She'd run full speed with bow and quiver in hand without thinking twice.

As she rounded the corner, she caught Rin up in her arms. The girl was crying and clearly terrified. "Rin, baby, what's the matter?" She asked softly as she knelt and brushed the grass from the girl's hair. Tears were running down her face, but she wasn't hurt.

"They're fighting!" Her eyes were wide as the words came from her in a shaking whisper.

Kagome looked up as the clash of steel assaulted her ears. She looked back to Rin. "Go to Kaede. Kohaku is with her. Have him find his sister and Miroku, alright?"

Rin didn't respond at first, but with a gentle shake from Kagome, she nodded and ran off quickly in the direction Kagome had come.

Kagome focused and carefully erected the barrier she'd been perfecting earlier that day. Her eyes fell on a furious battle between Kouga, Inuyasha and Sesshomaru. She knew instantly from the way her beloved was fighting and the way Inuyasha was holding himself back that they were not intending to kill the wolf, however the broken window frame scattered through the manicured garden and the crushed rose bushes with a half full basket settled nearby told Kagome instantly the reason Rin had been so traumatized.

Kouga deflected another of Sesshomaru's attacks, but from the glistening of his brow, it was certain he would not hold out much longer. "You will show respect." His voice was icy and filled with a kind of rage she had once been certain was only meant for Inuyasha.

"You don't deserve my respect!" Came his reply with a kind of misplaced chauvinism inherent in his personality. "You can't even protect her properly! She died because you couldn't protect her!"

She saw him tense. It was so brief, so subtle, she was certain only she saw it. He still blamed himself. He still held anger for what happened, but it was anger at his failings. "She is also alive because of me. You will take back your words and show me respect now, mongrel wolf, or I will end you here."

Kouga snarled and spat in Sesshomaru's direction. "You do not deserve the right to call her mate."

His words were cut off short as the flat of Sesshomaru's blade connected with the side of his head, knocking Kouga to the ground in a daze. The Taiyoukai looked down on the wolf as he regained his senses and stood. "She chose me as much as I chose her. That is not the point here, in this moment. You are in my home. You will show me the respect I deserve. I am alpha here. Not you."

"Only because your father died. Not because he chose you." Kouga growled. He did not expect the blow that came.

A flash of white energy threw the wolf youkai back against a large rock formation on the boarder of the garden. He snarled, and then yelped as he was ground into the granite. His eyes flashed up and saw the girl standing several hundred yards away with her hand outstretched. White-hot power flowed from her palm and her normally azure eyes were a pale sky blue, like his own. She was in his thoughts with a painful, piercing force. "Kagome, stop!"

_No. You will hear me now._

Sesshomaru turned along with Inuyasha. Her connection with those who had been nearest her since her resurrection were still partially connected to her through the surge of her power, however, until then no one had been aware of it. He approached her and gently touched her shoulder. He could sense her stress and fear through their bond and it worried him more than, perhaps, it normally should have. "Calm, Love."

She blinked and her eyes returned to their mid-night depths. Kouga crashed to the ground from the height she had held him at with a sharp yelp. "He shouldn't have said that." She whispered and leaned against her lover's strong frame. She trembled as his claws ran through her hair. "He had no right."

"You are weak, exerting yourself in such a way." He whispered into her ear. Faint relief touched his mind as he felt the stress and anger fade from her mind as well as her fear. Miroku and Sango rushed toward them with their eyes wide. They had felt her surge of power as well. "She needs to be put to bed." He said softly as the monk approached. Sango and Miroku had accomplished something that, with the exception of Kagome slipping into his heart, no human had done in the greater part of his life. They'd won his respect and trust with those he held most dear.

It was with that trust that he eased the slowly weakening miko into the monk's arms through her protests. He caressed her jaw and cheek fervently and sent mokomokosama to curl around her and bring her comfort. "Shhh, I am with you always."

"I don't want to be fought over."

"It is not you…"

"It is me at the heart of it and you know it."

He sighed and took one of her short silken locks in his hand, twining it through his fingers absently. He met her eyes. "Yes, but they need to accept my authority for other reasons, Love, you know this."

"I still don't want to be fought over. Not by three of the men who are closest to me. Not between my brothers and my mate, I can't take it."

"I cannot end what has been begun."

"Sesshou…"

"Love, you may not want this, but it is yours. All the reason and pleading in the world will not end it."

"But it is silly…"

His lips quirked faintly and his eyes danced in amusement. "You could always construct one of these… Rulers you spoke of, but I doubt they would be up for the challenge." He flicked her nose in the same playful manner she often demonstrated toward him. He found himself delighted when her nose crinkled even as she was fighting off her smile. "However I believe I would not enjoy your method nearly as much as simply beating them into submission."

She laughed faintly and shook her head, sighing as she felt her weariness overtaking her. "Not nearly as satisfying?"

"For you, perhaps. Not for me. This you know. Though, as I promised you with Inuyasha, I will not kill Kouga. He might not walk for a few days, but I will not kill him."

She sighed and shook her head. "There's no reasoning with you, is there?"

"Not in this."

Miroku had carried her to their chambers and Sango had covered her with a soft, light blanket while mokomokosama had curled up at her feet. She'd woken several hours later with her mate curled around her protectively. He'd refused to tell her how the conflict had ended; however Inuyasha had not been so secretive.

"He marked his throat with his acid." The brash hanyou said from his tree branch. Inuyasha had been ordered by his brother to guard Kagome while she trained with Kaede. Though he did not trust the hanyou to completely control his heart, Sesshomaru knew implicitly that Inuyasha would never let any harm come to Kagome. Even if that harm were to come from him. "It's the mark of Omega in his pack."

"Why omega?" She'd asked as she sat against the tree in which her friend was perched as she ate her lunch that the cooks had packed for her that day. Part of what she'd asked from Inuyasha to demonstrate that he was worthy of her trust was that she be given complete honesty.

Inuyasha smirked. "Because he doesn't see Kouga as a threat with regard to you or his base of power. He marked me as Beta because that's as close as someone in his pack could get to him. He wants me this close so he can watch me because I threaten his place in your heart. At least that's what I see it as."

"You realize that isn't true, right?"

He nodded slowly with smoldering golden eyes. His gaze was always hot and passionate, however all of his emotions were held in his stance and face. His expressions told Kagome everything she needed to know and at that moment, no matter how passionate the hanyou's gaze appeared, in truth, he looked defeated. Like a dog who'd been kicked by his master. "I know it better than he does, but… Kagome, you realize that he saw his mother walk away from our father without a backward glance, don't you? I wasn't even a part of the youkai court and even I knew about that. I know our father loved my mother, but his love for Satori was legendary even after he sacrificed himself for us."

Kagome sighed and nodded. She had all of her mate's memories. She knew where his insecurities originated and why he was so incredibly possessive and protective of her. It was often a fear of hers that he would never really be able to trust her heart because of what his mother had done to his father. "Sometimes I wish I had a glimpse into her heart and mind as well just so I could understand why she'd do something like that. I know that it had to have hurt her as deeply as it must have him if she loved him in even a fraction of the way I love her son."

Inuyasha winced slightly and looked away. Kagome had seen, he knew, but he also knew that she understood. When he'd discovered that they had mated and bonded, he'd left the palace and run for nearly a full day. He had not stopped for food or water or even a moment's pause to recapture his breath. Kaede had informed him that Kagome would be remaining in his brother's chambers that day. A quick walk past the doors had confirmed his fears and suspicions. From her scent, even after bathing, he knew full well that there wasn't a morning since that they had not coupled. "Even knowing that might not help him forget and move past his fears, Kagome. He's almost as stubborn as you."

"Look who's talking, Inuyasha." She said with a sad smile. She leaned her head against the bark of the tree and sighed softly. "You know he makes me happy, right?"

He winced again. "I know. I've even stopped wishing that he didn't because, frankly, seeing you this happy makes me happy. I might… It's hard to say this, Kagome, but I have to. I might ache knowing that I can't have you the way he has you, but I'd rather ache forever knowing you have what you've always wanted than see you still wanting and wondering if you have from me what you know you have from him."

"What is that, Inuyasha?"

"His whole heart." He said softly. The wind had almost carried away the sound, but she'd heard him through her heart and the strange, white thread that still connected them and it made her smile.

She focused herself again on the arrow's point. Her mind was so scattered it was making her feel dizzy. _Hold it together, Kagome. What's wrong with you?_ She released the arrow of wounding and felt it fizzle before it hit its mark. If it were the proper energy, she would have known and so would Kaede, however this arrow, while correct, was almost like a sputtering candle.

"What is wrong with ye, child?" Kaede asked softly as she approached Kagome. The girl looked pale and ill. She had all morning. "Do ye have a fever? Ye are covered with sweat."

"I… I'm all right, Kaede. I think I just need a nap." She managed a wan smile as she began to walk toward a nearby tree whose shade had been calling to her for almost an hour. "I just need some water."

Her first few steps were steady, however the next ones began to stumble and tremble. Inuyasha frowned and walked toward her, grasping her by her elbow, steadying her at her waist. "Easy, there. Let's get you sat down and then I'll go and get Sesshomaru."

"No, I'm ok, Inuyasha. I just need to sit down." She murmured, leaning on him heavily for support. Her world was spinning and her stomach was threatening to turn against her. Inuyasha helped her sit against the tree as Kaede wet a cloth to cook Kagome's brow. She trembled and turned sharply away, vomiting to the side. She almost fell into her retching before Inuyasha caught her and helped her lay on her back. He laid the cool cloth over her brow and eyes.

"That's it. I'm going to get him."

"There is no need." Came his brother's voice. Sesshomaru had felt her distress and disorientation across the grounds as if he were standing beside her. He nodded to his brother who quickly backed away from his mate. Kaede remained seated at her other side, checking the girl's pulse and temperature. The Taiyoukai turned his gaze toward the elderly miko. "What is wrong with her? She should not be sick, she shares my vitality now."

"There are signs of one thing in particular, though if it were so, ye would have caught its scent long before now."

"You are correct." He said simply and smoothed his love's short, midnight hair from her brow. She was so pale it frightened him, though he did not emote such a weakness. "Love, can you detect anything that might be wrong?"

She leaned into his hand and shook her head, whimpering as the cloth fell from her eyes. Sesshomaru quickly replaced it. "I can't… Sense anything wrong with me. It just came over me this morning and hasn't gone away since."

Inuyasha perched in a branch and looked down at Kagome. "What if she's carrying but somehow the scent's masked?"

"To mask such a scent, she would have to consciously attempt to hide her pregnancy." Kaede responded softly, caressing Kagome's hand when the girl visibly paled more in fear. "Shhh, child. It's alright."

"I haven't tried to mask or hide anything…"

"I know." Sesshomaru responded gently, leaning to kiss her tenderly along her jaw. He reached for the jar of water that had been brought for lunch and helped her sit up so she could take a few sips. "If you had done so consciously, I would have sensed it as easily as if I had detected a change in your scent."

"What if she did it unconsciously, though?" Inuyasha asked, frowning deeply. "Nobody knows when Naraku will attack. If she were carrying now, it would make sense that she'd want to hide it. If she could sense the baby when it first came into being…"

"That isn't possible." Kaede chided gently.

"The hell it ain't." Came his crass reply. "Look, old woman, listen for a minute, ok? You all keep saying how she shouldn't be able to do a lot of the things she's done, but she did it. Who's to say what she's capable of or what's possible? From what I heard, until Midoriko forged the Shikon no Tama with her soul, there wasn't a person who thought such a thing was possible and there it was, just stirring up more trouble than it could ever be worth. You said yourself she's got some of Midoriko's abilities, so why the hell shouldn't she be able to do what we all think is impossible?"

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes slightly and looked up to his brother. "For once, I will have to completely agree with you, Inuyasha. However, if such is the case, there is no way to tell."

"Sesshou, I wouldn't… I wouldn't hide it from you if I were, you have to believe me…"

Sesshomaru frowned deeply and looked down at his mate where she was curled with her head against his thigh. He could scent the salt of her tears beneath the cool cloth and it distressed him. So did her fear and increased stress. He drew her into his embrace with mokomokosama curled around her for extra support. He leaned to her and kissed the crown of her head, sending her reassurance that his anger was not toward her. "I know you would not. Trust that I know your heart enough to believe you would not hurt me in such a way as to hide the conception of my heir. But what Inuyasha said is true, Kagome. We do not know what you are capable of. With the treat of Naraku, I could easily understand why you would have hidden such a thing subconsciously, if that is the case."

"Please don't be mad at me…"

"Never. Please, Love… Do not cry. There is no reason for tears." He murmured and kissed her tenderly. He felt the soft rumblings of his beast's presence. Since he had mated and bonded to Kagome, mokomokosama's separate existence from him had almost completely dissipated. There was no more this and that Sesshomaru with the exception of the feral vestiges of his primal side. He felt as if he should know something. As if he'd forgotten the words to his favorite song and was left with only the melody. _You work so hard to convince me that we are better as one and now that we are, I do not even have access to your knowledge… Your decisions and actions made independently from me. If she is carrying my heir, I would not be surprised if it was your doing on some level that the truth was hidden from the both of us._

"I'll go and get Miroku. If she's pregnant and she ain't using her miko powers to mask it, most likely he'd be the only one to sense what's really going on considering he found a way to connect to her through her new powers when no one else even realized they were active."

"Yes, please do." Kaede said softly. "If it is her new powers that is allowing her to mask a child, it would go to reason as to why I cannot sense her accessing her miko abilities as well as why she has been so exhausted of late. Not only would she be growing a child, the use of her new abilities have the tendency to drain her considerably."

Once Inuyasha had left to retrieve Miroku and Kaede had walked toward her satchel to create a poultice to help ease Kagome's nausea, Sesshomaru removed the cool cloth and kissed away the girl's reemerging tears. "Please do not cry, Love. It hurts me when you cry and there is no reason to be so sad."

She trembled and opened her eyes, meeting his gaze timidly. "You were afraid of this. We both were, but we didn't stop ourselves. What if I am pregnant and the baby is endangered? It will be my fault."

"Our fault." He countered and kissed her deeply, feeling her tremble against him. He nipped her lips fervently and kissed her brow. "Either of us could have stopped, but we did not want to. I will not regret what has gone between us for a moment and you should not either."

"I don't…"

"Then why do you cry?"

"Because…" She sobbed softly and clung to him with a desperate fierceness. "Because I don't want to lose it. I could endure almost anything except losing you or one of our children. I'd rather die myself than be forced to live through that."

"We made a choice, Kagome." He said with just enough strength to be stern, but not enough to be harsh. He met her gaze to let his full meaning as well as the intense love and devotion he felt for her sink in, as it would not in any other way. As more tears fell he drank them away with kisses. "We made a choice knowing what the outcome might be. We have since continued along the same path and have not ceased in amorous connection since that first morning. Nor do I intend to cease seducing you any subsequent morning, no matter the outcome. We made a choice to be together now and we took a risk in doing so rather than waiting in shallow hope that we would both survive to claim each other once Naraku was defeated."

"I don't regret the choice… I'm just so afraid."

He held her tightly and whispered faintly into her ear as he breathed in the scent of her hair. "So am I. I am terrified of losing you or our child if it is true you carry my heir, but I will not let that fear rule me. I will use it to make myself stronger as I have since the moment I realized how fully and completely you have come to possess my heart. It is all right to be afraid, Love. Only do not let the fear rule you."

She nodded and kissed his neck gently, feeling him tremble slightly against her embrace. She fought to stop her tears and regain her breath. His words had shocked her, not because she did not know that he had such feelings, but because he had admitted their existence. "I love you." She whispered.

He looked up and saw Kaede walking toward them and, at a further distance, Inuyasha and Miroku running toward them. "I love you too." He whispered and gently kissed the juncture of her neck and shoulder, nipping softly before the three arrived.

Miroku approached along side Inuyasha. His eyes were fixed on Kagome as Kaede helped her sip a dark liquid from a small bowl that, even from his distance without youkai senses, he could smell. It was not foul, only potent.

Kagome choked, but forced the rest down, trembling by the time she emptied the bowl. Sesshomaru laid her down again with her head in his lap and stroked her hair as Miroku came closer. "Inuyasha has told you what needs to be deduced?"

Miroku nodded and knelt beside Kagome. He took her hand and squeezed it as their eyes met. "Forgive me, Kagome, but are you late at all?"

She nodded faintly, though blushed deeply. "A few days, but I never exactly was… Well… Predictable." Her blush deepened.

He nodded and smiled coyly. "You would make this difficult, wouldn't you? I thought you would at least have a clue considering it is your body."

She managed a nervous smile. "One would think."

He sighed and placed his hands over her abdomen, though did not yet lower them to touch her. "Skin to skin is better, but since you already consider me a hopeless hentai, I will only place my hands over your clothing."

She laughed faintly and sighed as she felt Sesshomaru's claws run through her hair, along her scalp. "That's alright, Miroku. We both trust you, even if you are a hopeless hentai."

The monk smirked and placed his hands over Kagome's abdomen. He focused carefully on the energies he'd become so familiar with when he'd been attempting to locate her while Naraku had imprisoned her. He'd expected a shimmer. A faint glow where there should have been the swirling energies of life within her. He did not expect to be thrown away from her by a powerful burst of white energy.

"Miroku?" He heard his name as his head slowly stopped spinning. He sat up with Inuyasha and Kaede's assistance. His gaze fell onto where Kagome was sitting up, concern flooding her gaze as Sesshomaru eased her back against him. She suddenly looked so small and pale. With the jolt of energy, he understood why.

"I'm alright." He said and stood slowly before returning to sit beside Kagome and Sesshomaru. The miko looked at him with shame and worry. "Don't, Kagome. What happened was my fault. I should have known to be more careful after seeing what you did to Kouga in a fit of emotion."

"I…"

"He was attacking your mate, Kagome. Inuyasha told me what happened and so it makes sense that your instincts would have gone off. Your new abilities are entirely connected to your instincts. The stronger the instinct, the stronger the response."

"What are you saying, Miroku?" Sesshomaru asked as his arm wrapped around his mate protectively along with his beast.

"I'm saying that when I tried to sense whether or not she's carrying your child, her instincts reacted because, at that moment, I was a threat. I can't tell for certain if she's pregnant or not, but if she is subconsciously hiding the child, it would make sense that any attempt to detect it would be thwarted violently."

"We need to know for certain." Inuyasha said softly from where he crouched nearby. "For her sake and the child's."

Miroku nodded. "I agree. If she is carrying, our knowledge would allow us to divert our energies to her complete defense if it came to that. It would allow us to know if her energies were at our disposal or if they would be entirely diverted to the protection of her child. The only way I feel I could safely traverse the barrier she seems to have erected is if she could use her powers to forge the same rapport with me again that she has with all of us in the past so I could slip through it momentarily and get a good view of what is going on."

"I don't know if I can do that… I've never tried." She whispered. She was so exhausted. All she wanted to do was sleep. The cool hand of her mate roused her and she managed a small, weary smile.

"You can. You must now, Love." He whispered to her and kissed her cheek reassuringly.

Kagome nodded and sighed as she located the white, pure energies where they rested within her highest charka. A sheen of sweat slipped over her skin as she focused entirely on creating a momentary rapport with Miroku. Allowing her instincts to dictate her actions, she managed a frail, weak connection with the monk who wasted no time in his own endeavor.

Miroku slipped along the thread of light and along Kagome's glowing white charkas. He closed his eyes physically so he could guide himself quickly toward her second lowest well of energy where her reproductive organs resided and were nourished. He could sense the barrier and the nature of it. Not only was it masking her scent, it was protecting her womb entirely, diverting more energy from her other charkas as was necessary to enlarge the barrier. The monk smiled as he reached out and caressed the tiny fire hidden behind the barrier and almost laughed as it responded to him in curiosity as well as hostility at his very presence. _Definitely their child._ He thought as he quickly pulled away from the child's aura and out of Kagome's energies before the rapport collapsed.

He opened his eyes and found Kagome panting and barely conscious. She turned her gaze to Miroku in question. He smiled a bit wider and reached out, caressing her sweaty brow. "Rest, Sister. The both of you are fine."

"Both?" She questioned with shimmering eyes.

He nodded and then looked up to meet the Taiyoukai's eyes. Sesshomaru was barely tolerating the monk's hand against his mate's brow and now, as the realization was setting in that she carried his heir, that tolerance was quickly fading. He returned his gaze to Kagome who was still valiantly trying to stave off sleep. "Yes, both. Rest, Kagome." He stepped back and watched as she began to drift off. Her worry could not deprive her of what her body so obviously craved. Once she had drifted off to sleep, Sesshomaru stood and cradled her against his chest, gazing down at her peaceful countenance. "You should know, Sesshomaru, that, unless she dies again, the baby will survive no matter what. The barrier she's placed around it is so fortified that I doubt anyone could reach it unless she allowed him or her to consciously."

Sesshomaru nodded and, for a moment, Miroku thought he caught the faintest wisps of pride, joy and love cross his gaze as it fell on his mate. "Still, I will not let her anywhere near battle. There is no choice in that now."

"What about Naraku?" Inuyasha asked. He agreed with his brother, but he knew the dark hanyou would never stop until he had the jewel and both Kagome and he were dead.

"We will find another way." He said simply. He knew that it was not going to be so simple. He knew that it would be next to impossible to defeat Naraku without Kagome's power, but he could not endanger their child and he knew she would agree with him. "The child is first now. Vendettas and quests do not matter."

"But they do, Sesshomaru." The elderly miko said in her soft, wise voice. She met the Taiyoukai's gaze unflinchingly even as his rage was threatening to erupt. "They do because, until they are dealt with and completed, the child's life will be in danger no matter how hard ye try to protect them. Ye will find a way, no doubt, but do not allow your fears to rule ye, great Western Taiyoukai. Kagome is strong. She can survive anything if ye give her reason to."

He closed his eyes slowly, then opened them and looked away from Kaede. His heart was churning with so many conflicting emotions he felt like he might drown in them. "I hear you, old woman. But I would rather that she survives with the reasons she already possesses rather than for ones I would have to reconstruct for her. Her happiness is my own."

Kaede smiled knowingly and nodded. "You would not be

worthy of her if it were any other way. Take her to rest. She should not train any more until she has recuperated so we can find a way to harness her abilities without endangering the child."

Sesshomaru nodded to her and then his brother and the monk. He turned away and strode swiftly toward his palace and their chambers with purpose. _I knew… And yet did not know. Somehow this barrier is my own doing and yet I cannot place when such an action occurred. Why would I hide such an important piece from myself unless… Unless it was so that the child would be utterly protected in its very beginnings… If Naraku attacked and she was captured, no doubt the child would be killed immediately if he knew. Masking it entirely would at least keep the child safe for a while in such a situation and even further still with the barrier. He would be forced to kill Kagome in order to kill the child and if he did capture her again, it would be most likely as a hostage or bait. I do not understand fully and it bothers me… But as Kagome cannot understand that part of her ruled by instinct, neither can I. Perhaps that is the price I have paid for being whole. I have grown in power, but I have lost my complete understanding of my instinct. I do not know. I hope it is not my downfall._


	16. Chapter 16

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Not mine. Never will be.**_

**All Are Architects of Fate**

_("Night")_

_Into the darkness and the hush of night_

_Slowly the landscape sinks, and fades away,_

_And with it fade the phantoms of the day,_

_The ghosts of men and things, that haunt the light,_

_The crowd, the clamor, the pursuit, the flight,_

_The unprofitable splendor and display,_

_The agitations, and the cares that prey_

_Upon our hearts, all vanish out of sight._

_The better life begins; the world no more_

_Molests us; all its records we erase_

_From the dull common-place book of our lives,_

_That like a palimpsest is written o'er_

_With trivial incidents of time and place,_

_And lo! the ideal, hidden beneath, revives._

_Longfellow_

The palace was haunted at night. No specters walked its halls, nor long dead visages crept along, whispering their dark intent. It was haunted with the thoughts of men. Perched on the banister of his balcony with one knee drawn to his chest, he looked out over the vast gardens of his brother's palace. There was a child now between them, his beloved and his blood. A child he knew the both wanted but were afraid to have so soon. He could see it in her and, faintly, in him. He'd known the stoic Taiyokai long enough to realize where his true emotions lay. As he'd watched his brother's gaze while Miroku had been attempting to detect the child, Inuyasha had noticed a flash of emotion. Sesshomaru's gaze seemed haunted by something held deep within his soul. What was it, he wondered? He knew what was bothering him. He knew what was plaguing his otherwise easy sleep.

It had been years since the hanyou had actually slept in a bed, however, when he did of late, he found that the soft curves of the mattress stole away all his cares and he slept as if he were still only a child in his mother's house. It was why he refused to go to bed even though he felt his oncoming exhaustion. He was lying to Kagome. She'd asked him for one simple thing. She'd asked him for complete disclosure and honesty and now, when he should have been keeping his promise, he found himself lying to the beautiful miko he loved so deeply.

_They say if you love someone, you'll do anything to protect them. She can read you like a book, or so she thinks. She doesn't realize how good a liar you are… Perhaps she should by now, but she doesn't. I'm lying to her and I know that, if I don't, it will mean her life, but I can't help but feel like a traitor. All she asked for to regain her trust was my honesty and I'm breaking my word at the first test. Maybe someday she'll give me another chance. Maybe she'll see… But who am I kidding? Sesshomaru wouldn't help her understand. He'd be the only one who could and he wouldn't. This is like a dream for him. He can take me out and protect his mate all in one action and never needs to save me… It's his perfect opportunity to take everything from me. As if he hasn't already._

He looked at his sword where it was leaning against the banister near him. He scowled softly and looked back into the night sky.

_I wonder if he even realizes that I know? That I know, if Kikyo had not pinned me to that tree for fifty years, that I would have been our father's successor… I wonder if he knows that if my mother hadn't made the decision to raise me within the human court after Inu no Taisho had died, that I would have been made his ward. I wonder a lot of things. I know why he hates me. I get it. Or at least where the hatred began… He has every right to hate me, or at least our father. I didn't ask to be made successor over him. I didn't ask to be given his sword. I didn't ask for any of it. I didn't even ask to be born and yet… I know if I were in his same position, I would feel the same way. I don't know what happened to him, not the way Kagome does, but I understand the kind of pain he must have felt because of our father's actions. I know I feel the pain of it every day. I ask myself what might have happened if I'd been the second son of Satori and Inu no Taisho. I loved my mother, but… My whole life I've wanted to know what it was like to be a part of a whole family. I almost had that with Miroku, Sango and Shippo… And Kagome. When it was just us. Now… I don't think I'll ever find a way to regain her trust. Not now. Not after this. But at least she and her child will be safe. At least she'll be happy with him. With my brother. And maybe, someday, if I'm lucky, she'll call me her friend again._

Across the courtyard, hidden by the tall trees on the edge of Rin's field, he stood, leaning heavily while he, also, gazed up at the stars with inky, indigo eyes. His mind traveled back to the afternoon as he had traversed his spiritual sister's energies and had come upon the tiny life force growing so steadily and strongly in her womb. It was further along than a human baby should have been, but not so far along as a pure youkai baby would have been. Hanyou, but incredibly powerful already. He supposed that he should have informed Sesshomaru of that as well, but he had not.

_What good would it have done? The Taiyoukai is already beyond headstrong and proud. To know his child seems to already show the potential to surpass both Inuyasha and Naraku… He would probably drown in conceit. But it isn't his blood that makes the baby so strong. It's hers. Kagome. Her miko powers are present in the child as well as these… Almost divine energies she now possesses. But what are they? They aren't like any spiritual powers I've ever encountered and yet… They seem so familiar somehow. As if I've experienced them before. Or their mirror before…_

His eyes shifted down to his palm. The prayer beads were protecting him, but he could see the black void swirling just beneath the holy object. It was Naraku's curse. He'd inherited it from his father upon his death. Sucked into its vast abyss, turned inside out, leaving only a crater behind.

_Sango. I love you, but as much as I do… As much as I say again and again that I wish for someone, anyone, to bear my child, I know I couldn't do that. Not to my own blood. Not to yours. You deserve someone who won't curse your children with his very existence. I won't allow you to carry that. Anything I give you would only be an abomination as I am… They'd inherit my curse as I inherited it. Maybe, if Naraku is defeated before this wretched thing consumes me, I will be with you as you deserve, but until then… I can't chance it… I can't do what Sesshomaru and Kagome have done. They took a chance knowing they could protect any child they might conceive. They knew they wouldn't curse their child, as I know I would curse ours. I wish someday you could understand that. And as for this… This blackness that threatens to devour everything I love… It is the mirror of Kagome's new abilities. This is not evil just as her power is not good. This is the power of the abyss. Of the void. Of nothingness. Kagome's power, then, must be everything else. Connection, life, and all that is flowing through her. It isn't that she does not have access to her powers… That isn't why she becomes exhausted so easily when she uses them… Oh Kami…_

He looked toward the palace and felt a twinge of fear and wonder cross over his heart. It was a kind of awful, awesome realization that left him more shaken than the day he had inherited his father's curse.

_Your body can't take it. You are only a mortal human woman. Even with Sesshomaru's vitality and bond, even if you were a full-blooded youkai, you would not be able to contain such power if you used it to its full extent… Midoriko did once and it ended her. She did what you must never do, Kagome… In the morning I will tell Sesshomaru. I should tell him about his son as well. Both of them must never allow themselves to use their full powers or else it will happen all over again. There can never be another Shikon no Tama._

The walls of his room seemed confining. He lay panting with his face pressed into the cushioning of his mattress as another wave of extreme pain passed through him. It had started that afternoon, but he had told no one. What could they do? This was natural for kitsune when they reached their second century. No one could help him. They could only watch as he changed, shifted and became what was destined for him to become. He whimpered, but the sound was deeper now than it had been hours before. The first shift was the hardest, or so his father had told him. It was when his human aspect would become full-grown. What was painful about it was not that he went from being barely an arm full to the six foot, rusty haired man who now curled on his side in agonizing pain. That had been like beating Inuyasha at the hand held video games that Kagome had brought from her time for him to play with compared to the emotional and spiritual pain he underwent. His childish, impish spirit had shifted as hormones and adult thoughts, once only shadows in his mind, flooded to the surface. It was usually during this shift that his kind would seek out their mates, but he refused with everything that was left of the child Shippo within him. He fought it because he knew whom he wanted and the desired one was not only too young and nowhere near ready to be claimed, but she meant certain death for him if he even considered claiming her.

_Rin…_

She had been his only thought before each overwhelming wave of pain. The thought both ripped through him and reminded him why he was fighting his base instincts. He felt deeply for the girl, perhaps even was falling in love with her, but he saw how she looked at Kohaku. She was barely eleven, but her eyes shone in the same way Kagome's did when she once had looked at Inuyasha and, now, as they always did when she met the gaze of Sesshomaru. He knew Rin loved Kohaku, and why should she not? They'd traveled together with Sesshomaru for a while and had time to learn each other as she and Shippo never had. They were friends. If he gave in to his instincts, he would harm her. He could not harm her. He refused to harm her. He muffled his cries into his pillow as the final shift overtook him. His single tail split into nine and he shifted into his final kitsune form. He was small, but power radiated off of him in waves. He was more powerful than even his father had been. In a quick, graceful movement, he darted out of his window and into the night. He did not intend to take a mate, but running certainly would help him not succumb to his instincts concerning the beautiful, innocent girl asleep only a room away from him. It was wrong to want her, wrong to even consider her, and he knew it. His desire would fade by morning, when his powers ceased their churning and his instincts returned to their latent din at the back of his mind. He would not stop, fearing that those new and overwhelming desires would lead him to harm another innocent human or mate another kitsune he did not even know.

It would have been different if his father had not been killed. His father would have chosen another kitsune for him to mate. One as near to his shift as he was. They would have been placed together near their changing and there would be no fear or need for restraint. Love would have come later. It wouldn't have been his choice, but he wouldn't have been so afraid. He wouldn't have to run. He wouldn't have to have done a lot of things he was forced to do since his shift had begun. The cool of the night knocked away his troubled thoughts and he ran. He ran into the cool along the sky as if it were earth, kissing the heavens with the soft golden glow of his paws. He ran higher as if he thought he could reach the moon. He ran because there was little else to do that would quell the flame in his belly and divert his mind from that single, solitary name that had held him in such rigid, unmoving control.

_Rin…_

He could still hear his thoughts occasionally, reaching out to him like black, vile tentacles from the depths of his mind. Sesshomaru had taught him how to steel his will against Naraku's invasions. The thoughts, now, were vague, disorienting instances that brought him momentary pain. They reminded him of his betrayal. Not once. Not twice. But over and over and over again. He'd tried to kill his sister so many times it sickened him. He had forced away the memory of her. Only recently had he been able to face what he had done. With the help of Sesshomaru and Rin… Sweet, beautiful Rin, he had been able to find his strength and endure. And then Sango had forgiven him. He couldn't fathom why she would forgive him. Why would she, how could she find that kind of mercy? He remembered her as a great and awe-inspiring warrior. Yet, when he'd asked her forgiveness, she'd broken into tears and embraced him, saying that he had been forgiven even before he'd become overtaken by Naraku's will.

Still, he could not understand. He couldn't understand why she found it so easy to forgive him. He could barely forgive himself even now. He could still see their shocked, confused faces. His family. His fellow warriors. His sister. His beautiful sister with her eyes so wide with disbelief.

He shook off the memory before it could take hold. Then he shook off the presence he felt and blocked his thoughts. For nearly a week, Naraku had slipped into his dreams and thoughts asking him to discover the condition of the miko who had mated with Sesshomaru. Kagome. Naraku wanted to know if she was carrying the Taiyoukai's child. Kohaku had not yet told Sesshomaru. He wasn't sure how he would react to the revelation. Why did Naraku want to know anyway? Aside from the child being a weakness if there was even a child, what could the dark hanyou want with the knowledge? What did it mean? He would have to think on it for a while before he acted on the new knowledge.

He let his thoughts fall back to the object that so often consumed him. Rin. She was his friend and she had such a pure and beautiful soul.

_But she is fragile. She's been brought back twice from death and… If she were to die again, there would be nothing that could resurrect her. I must protect her. I know Sesshomaru is occupied with Kagome now, as well he should be. Even Rin does not mind her surrogate father's absence considering she knows how happy the Taiyoukai is with his new mate. But she must be protected at all costs. I will make sure she is safe. I must ensure nothing happens to her. Next to my sister, she is the only reason I fight Naraku at all. His abyss is so near to bliss, so absorbing and comforting that its pull is always seductive. But I will fight for them. For Rin. For Sango. Because they are worth the fight. They are worth living for. They are worth dying for._

He smoothed her hair as she slept. She was so beautiful while she slumbered, though she was beautiful no matter when he looked on her, however he found himself entranced with her while she dreamed. He'd woken her only once since she'd drifted off after fighting so hard to allow Miroku access to their child. He'd helped her sit up and then fed her the clear broth and rice he'd ordered from the kitchen upon returning to the palace. Some color had returned to her features and he felt his worry ebb.

The healers had looked over her and, while they could not attest to the state of the child, they could say that the pregnancy would be accelerated because of the child's youkai blood. What should take nine months for a human or three for a demon, they told him, would take five because the child would be a hanyou. And he didn't care. The child was theirs and it would be perfect. The only difficulty he was having stemmed from the fact that he could not smell her pregnancy or sense the child as it grew. With his keen senses and their bond, he should have been able to do both, but he had neither. All he had was his sick, weak mate curled against him, as their child grew unknown and unseen until her belly began to grow.

He found himself trying to envision what the child would look like. If Inuyasha were any indication, the inuyoukai blood would be strong in the child. In all likelihood, it would possess a tail or ears. Its eyes would be golden. Its hair would be silver or white. However, if he were lucky, the child would inherit at least the pleasant, beautiful shape of its mother's eyes and her warm smile. He ran his fingers through her hair and sighed softly. He would have rather that their children inherit her ebony tresses. In fact, at least on one occasion, he had caught himself considering that the children would be better served resembling their mother entirely. It was not because he disliked his own looks. He knew himself to be rather vain, in fact. It was simply that he so enjoyed looking at her and admiring the way her spirit shown through the darkness of her features, like starlight through the night sky. As much as he enjoyed his own looks, part of him couldn't have cared less if his children had any of his features, so long as when he looked on them he could see the part that was her.

He curled around her and breathed her in deeply, hoping some trace of the child would show its self. He was not so lucky. It was her scent alone. The beautiful scent that was Kagome coupled with her exotic chamomile and lavender. He rested his hand over her abdomen as he pulled her flush with his chest. He kissed the nape of her neck with a delicate weight.

As happy as he was, he was also worried. Wheels were in motion now that he had minimal control over, if any at all. He did not like being out of control. He had asserted himself as alpha over the other two males who longed for his mate as palpably as if they were present in his own chambers, watching them curled together. And still there was fear. Fear of losing her. Fear of losing the child she had made all but invisible deep in her womb. Fear of being alone again.

_Is this what you meant, Father? Is this why you wanted me to have someone to fight for? So that I might learn to use my fear to protect what I love? It is a strength I've never been able to understand until now and yet… It is a fragile strength. Entirely dependant on her continuing presence… Sometimes I wonder what you must have done, Father, to have driven my mother away. I hate her for leaving. For taking Miyoko. Even more that she refused to tell me anything of my sister's well being. But it was not always so. She left us for a reason. Part of me wishes I knew so I could avoid your same mistake, but I am not you. Kagome is not Satori. I promised her myself and she promised me herself forever. Not only for when it was convenient or when we agreed. If we survive, she will understand that. She has to understand that. I do not want to fight. I do not want to draw her into battle, but if we do not fight Naraku will never stop. He will be at our backs until the day we either defeat him or he finds an opening or weakness. The momentary danger is worth the risk for a life of never having to glance over our shoulders. She will understand that. She must understand that. I only pray she can forgive me. The final decision has been mine._

"So you've returned."

He felt the bile rise in his throat as he approached the dark hanyou. "I have news."

"Oh? Worth me enduring your stench, I hope."

He scowled and wondered who he thought he was kidding. Naraku smelled of decay and death. He knew himself to be impeccably clean. "Worth more than that simple tolerance, I'm sure."

He turned his crimson stare to meet the crystal blue of his visitor. "Do tell."

"First, I want to know. Why would you want to have their child, if she conceives?"

Naraku chuckled deeply. "That is my secret."

"You expect me to tell you what I know when you don't reveal anything?" Kouga scoffed angrily. "Should I leave without revealing what I know?"

Naraku snarled and looked away, suddenly enraged. It was the nature of hanyou that their youkai and human blood created volatile, unstable personalities. Very few ever could control the heat as well as the chill of their blood as it commingled with their veins. "I will tell you because the reason is easily deduced if one had half a brain to think with. I want the child because it will be his heir. Sesshomaru is uncontrollable. His heir would be… Malleable. I would raise their child as my general so that I would have a foot hold in the West and with their allies on the continent."

Kouga raised a brow. He wondered, now, if it was wise to reveal his knowledge so soon. But he could not turn back now. His only hope was, once this was through, she could learn to forgive him. "She's carrying his heir. She could be no more than a month along, but hanyou are not carried as long as human babies, so I am told. She could deliver as soon as four months from now."

Naraku smiled darkly. His anger faded back until the chill of his demeanor returned. "You will return to them. The month before she is due to give birth, you will return to me, here, and I will reveal my plans to you."

"And you will uphold your end of our bargain? She will not be harmed?"

"I will not harm her, you have my word. And Sesshomaru will indeed die. I am nothing if not a creature of my word. Now go, you tire me with your presence."

Naraku turned his gaze from the wolf just as Kouga raced away to return to the confines of the castle. The youkai felt a heavy weight in his heart and, for the first time, wondered if he had made the correct choice. His hand touched the acid marks on his throat where he'd been marked as Sesshomaru's Omega. His eyes hardened. It was all in motion now. He could not turn back. He had to have faith now that she would be all right. Kagome would be safe; he would make sure of it… And if he was truly lucky, she could learn to forgive him in time. Even if she did not, at least he would know he had done what was right. He would know that he had done everything for the right reasons.


	17. Chapter 17

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Not mine. Never will be.**_

**Voices in the Upper Air**

_(From "Karamos")_

_Turn, turn, my wheel! Turn round and round_

_Without a pause, without a sound:_

_So spins the flying world away!_

_This clay, well mixed with marl and sand,_

_Follows the motion of my hand;_

_Far some must follow and some command,_

_Though all are made of clay!_

… … … … …

_Turn, turn, my wheel! All things must change_

_To something new, to something strange;_

_Nothing that is can pause or stay;_

_The moon will wax, the moon will wane,_

_The mist and cloud will turn to rain,_

_The rain to mist and cloud again,_

_To-morrow be to-day._

… … … … …

_Turn, turn, my wheel! All life is brief;_

_What now is bud wilt soon be leaf,_

_What now is leave will soon decay;_

_The wind blows east, the wind blows west;_

_The blue eyes in the robin's nest_

_Will soon have wings and beak and breast,_

_And flutter and fly away._

_Longfellow_

She woke slowly. Her limbs and whole body was heavy with exhaustion and her eyes were blurry from dreams. She felt him still curled around her, his hand resting protectively against her abdomen, his face buried in the hair at the nape of her neck. She smiled faintly, but didn't move. It wasn't often she woke before her mate and so she took the dreamy moments between the moment she had opened her eyes to the moment she was certain would come when he would sense her waking in the quickening of her heart and breathing. She ached to look on his sleeping face and run her fingers through his hair as he enjoyed doing to her to wake her, but, for that instant, she was transfixed with how tightly they were pressed together and how he rested with his lips barely touching the skin at the ridge of her shoulders where her neck began.

She closed her eyes and tried to imagine his sleepy expression and how the silver mane she loved to braid and comb when they were alone must have been curtaining along his jaw over his throat. She felt his embrace tighten and realized he was beginning to wake as well. She turned to face him just in time to see his tired, amber orbs open half way, blink, and then open fully as they focused on her entirely. She brushed a silver strand from his face and smiled. "You remind me of a little boy when you wake up."

"Oh?" He asked. His voice was deeper when he first woke. Heavier and laden with remaining weariness.

She nodded, and then kissed him gently, wrapping her arms around his neck. "The warrior is still sleeping when you first open your eyes. I only see the boy who loves me."

He smiled and returned her kiss fervently, breathing her in. "I wish I could sense it… Our child."

She trembled, caressing his jaw. "If I knew how to let you, I would. But the barrier is so strong, I'm afraid to try and lower it in case it's somehow connected to the child."

"I know and understand. I cannot help but wish." He pulled her tightly against him, then rolled onto her, resting his head against her chest, listening to the thrum of her heart. He sighed and wrapped his arm around her as her slender fingers began to run through his scalp, the tips of her nails gently touching. "I feel weak when you do that."

"I feel weak when you kiss me, so we are even." She said, smiling as she again ran her fingers through his hair. He tightened his embrace and closed his eyes, allowing himself to snooze. He'd only fallen asleep a measly hour before she'd woken. He hadn't even meditated, but had spent the night watching her dream deeply. She felt his breathing even out and his shoulders relax as sleep reclaimed him. Her fingers danced briefly along his jaw, then rested on his shoulders.

_I might not be able to allow you access to our child without fear, but I can traverse my own energies now that I know where they lay. Miroku's actions allowed me a glimpse of where and how to find the child._ She closed her eyes and began to meditate. With an ease that had eluded her before Miroku's investigation, she slipped into the first level of white energy coursing along every well of power in her body. Slowly, taking her time as she memorized the trick of traversing her charkas, she made her way to the well located in her belly. She slipped into the surging star of white light and easily through the barrier to where she knew her child was resting. At the center of the white was a swirling star of pink, black and white power that was contained physically in the tiny body forming in her womb. She caressed the energy gently and felt him respond. Yes. It was a boy, she was certain of that. The little baby boy recognized her and curled into the warmth of her touch. _I wish I could show you to your father, little one. He loves you so much. He's looking forward to meeting you soon._

The tiny life throbbed in agreement. He was still too small, too young to understand speech, but he could understand the love she sent to him from both her and his father.

She smiled spiritually and physically, caressing her son's soul once more before gradually pulling away. The child began to panic and so she returned to him, comforting him. Before she even could think about what she was doing, she connected a fracture of her bond with Sesshomaru to the child's spirit. When he was born, it would remain, only breaking the day he bonded himself to his own mate. As she pulled away, he remained calm and settled within her spirit and body again without protest.

Before she even opened her eyes, she felt herself being watched. Her mate's weight had shifted and so she was prepared for his gaze on her. But it was not the look she had expected. She thought she would see curiosity, worry, perhaps even frustration that she could reach their child while he could not. But none of that was there. His eyes only spoke wonder and love.

"I… I feel him now." He whispered. His face, voice, eyes were so animated with intense surprise and joy that she didn't recognize him at first. "How… How did you manage this?"

She trembled and felt herself begin to cry. She caressed his face and shook her head. "I don't know. It only… It only made sense. He was so afraid when I began to pull away. I couldn't leave him alone, so I left a piece of us with him… It was on instinct."

He began kissing away her tears. Since the first moment he had drank away the salty expression of her emotion, he had felt it was right to do. It was almost as if they tasted of her intense emotions and, by taking them into him, he shared everything with her. He found her lips and kissed her tenderly. "Thank you. Even if it was not intentional, thank you for giving me this. Thank you for giving me our son."

A soft, breathless cry slipped past her lips and he smelled the salt returning. He returned his lips to the corners of her eyes dutifully in turn. "Thank you for wanting me to have him… For loving me so much, for protecting me, for holding me so close and… For letting me see you. You are so beautiful, Sesshomaru."

He smiled and kissed her fervently, savoring the taste of her mouth. "You understand, Kagome. You see my soul and you love me. I had forgotten how important that was." His eyebrow quirked slightly in jest as he gaze deeply into her azure eyes. "And, as far as I know, warriors are not beautiful. You, miko, deserve to be known for beauty."

She blushed and smiled timidly. "You, then, my love, are striking and salient, if I am not allowed to give you beauty."

"Fine words." He murmured with a twinkling gaze. He sighed and again rested his head against her chest, breathing her in deeply. Even without the scent of their child growing within her, he found himself content with the gift of being able to sense his son as he grew through their bond. Her fingers began to weave through his hair again and he felt as if he were melting. "You realize I am

not getting up so long as you continue."

"Is that a promise?" She asked, fighting back a laugh, but not hiding it from the tone of her words.

His chest rumbled in mirth as he climbed up to claim her lips. He nipped along her jaw gently, feeling her shiver. "You once said that if I kissed you over the span of a day, you would never tire of my lips. Would you like to test your theory?"

He felt her blush heat and deepen against his lips. The sensation sent a surge of delight through him. He nipped along her throat and felt her shudder as a gasping cry slipped from her lips. "Was that a yes, my love?"

She smiled and ran her fingers through his hair, grasping just slightly at the nape of his neck. "It was indeed." She breathed, then moaned softly as he, again captured her lips, beginning their happy experiment.

_The heights by great men reached and kept_

_Were not attained by sudden flight,_

_But they while their companions slept_

_Were toiling upward in the night._

_LongFellow_

He landed in the gardens in his nine-tailed form and curled under a tree until he felt ready to approach Sango or Miroku for help. He hadn't any clothing that would fit. He had been naked when he'd left the previous evening and simply refused to deal with anyone but the ones he thought of as his family. Inuyasha would make fun of him. Kagome was… Busy. Lately she was always busy in the mornings, though, in his current state with maturity slowly settling into his psyche, he couldn't blame her or Sesshomaru. That only left Sango and Miroku, but he knew they might even scoff at his current situation.

He raised his head as a thought came to him. Kaede would help him, certainly, and not say a word of scorn or make him feel laughed at. He was miserable in his new forms. He missed being a child, but he couldn't fight nature. Certainly Kaede would understand that and help him without judgment.

He flew to her window and gently pawed open the frame before slipping into her room. The old woman was still sleeping. At least he thought she was still sleeping until she began to speak.

"Shippo, if ye wanted to speak to me, ye could have knocked on the door rather than climbing through the window."She sat up and looked at the kitsune in his adult, nine tailed form. He was about chest height with Inuyasha when standing and was a golden red hue with fierce yet glimmering emerald eyes. "Ahhh, I see. This is what has happened, pup. Well, come here and shift to your human

form while I go and find ye something to wear."

Once the elderly miko had turned, Shippo shifted and wrapped a blanket around him. "Thank you, Kaede."

The old woman smiled and looked back at the child-man who was sitting on her mattress. He was incredibly handsome with long rusty hair that shone like bleeding gold in the light and those same emerald eyes. His build was lithe and lean and his face had lost most of the roundness it once had, replaced with a prominent jaw and cheekbones and a well-defined brow and nose. "There is no need for thanks, child. I know ye need help and ye are family to this old woman. Rest yourself there. Ye look as if ye have not slept all night."

Shippo smiled half way with the quirk of his lips. He hadn't, but he didn't admit that to the elderly woman who had turned to find him suitable clothing. He sighed and looked down at his clawed hands. They were so large compared to the ones he had possessed only the previous day. _They are my hands. They are the hands that were so small yesterday. That Shippo is gone now. He is me now. I need to adjust to this._

He reached down and took hold of his tails, petting them gently. The nine looked more like one, but if he wove his fingers through the thick, silken fur, he could count all of them. The action sent shivers down him. He felt himself respond as each responsive nerve ending in each of his tails overwhelmed his mind with pleasure. His mind jumped back to the first and only time he'd pulled his father's tail. He'd nearly had his throat torn out. _Though, in retrospect, Father saying "You'll understand why when you are older" just about covers it… I never could have guessed why it made him so angry. Well… I suppose we learn something new every day._

The door to Kaede's room opened and she entered with a dark colored hakama and haori in her hands. They were made of a heavy, sturdy material and reminded him vaguely of Sesshomaru's guard's vestments. On further examination, he discovered that was what they were, in fact. "Thank you." He said softly. His deep tenor voice was still foreign to him. It sounded smooth and warm enough to be his own, but it was not the child's voice he'd had for centuries and so it surprised him every time he spoke.

Kaede nodded and turned as he dressed, then helped him with his hair, tying it back with a leather strap. It was not like Sesshomaru or Inuyasha's hair. Not even like Kouga's. Shippo's hair was curly and long, reaching just past his waist. Leaving it free would cause a massive tangle that would take hours of help to free, and so it was wiser to hold it back with something. "There ye are, child. Now, either go and get yourself breakfast or sleep. Ye look like the walking dead."

Shippo smirked and nodded. After giving Kaede a tight hug, he stood and walked back toward his bedroom. He found it odd that he was so tall. His father had even been shorter than his current height. He was only a few inches shorter than Sesshomaru and towered the same distance over Inuyasha. _No more curling into Kagome's hair, certainly. Or riding in her backpack. But then again, I'll be able to keep up with everyone._ He stopped dead in his tracks as he ran into a shorter form dressed all in red.

"Hey! Watch where the hell you're going!"

"Sorry, Inuyasha." He replied, the corners of his lips curling in amusement.

The hanyou looked up and met Shippo's gaze, quirking his brow. "Hell no… It couldn't be."

"I keep telling myself that."

"How the hell did you get taller than me, Shippo?" Inuyasha groused. He knew full well that Shippo would shift and age at some point. He hadn't been expecting this, though.

"I grew."

"No shit. Does Kagome know?"

Shippo shook his head and pushed one of his curls behind his ear. "She usually isn't up by now."

"That's debatable."

"I mean she isn't out of bed."

"Also debatable."

"Damnit Inuyasha! You know what I mean."

"Yeah, well… Had to see you squirm since I doubt I could easily reach your head to hit you properly any more. You know if you don't tell her, she'll be pissed."

"I'm not going to go pounding on their door."

"They might knock back."

"For Kami's sake! She's like a mother to me! Would you quit already!?"

Inuyasha fought back a laugh. "Ok, fine. At least slip a note under the door."

"That says what? 'Hi Momma, I got big! Here's a picture of me yesterday and one of me today.' That's ridiculous."

"You know she loves your drawings."

"I give up." He said, disgusted as the hanyou simply stood there, laughing at him and taunting him. He pushed past Inuyasha and walked purposefully toward his room. "If you see anybody, tell them what happened and let me sleep. I haven't slept all night."

"How many tails did she have?"

Shippo stopped and winced, tensing visibly. Did he have to bring that up? "Mind your own business, Inuyasha. I'm going to sleep."

Inuyasha watched as the door slid closed and sighed. He leaned against the wall and ran his fingers through his bangs. It wasn't right for the kid to deny his nature, his instincts. Kitsune didn't mate for life and, usually, if what Inuyasha had been told was correct, first pairings didn't usually stick and pups were nearly never sired. Ignoring his instincts could come to haunt him later and that, frankly, worried the hanyou. _He's been around Kagome and me too much. She's as devoted as if she were a full Inuyoukai and I'm half blooded and never wavered in my devotion to either Kagome or Kikyo… Or her resurrection. Damn, that's confusing. It's still confusing and I don't even have to deal with it any more. In my mind I always belonged to them both… Because they were the same person. I just didn't understand that until it was too late. But the kid… It just isn't who he is. He ain't ever going to find another like minded kitsune and if he ever decided to bond with a human, he'd have to reestablish the bond every decade or so, or risk losing her… It isn't fair._ Inuyasha sighed and stood, resuming his trek toward the kitchen. For the last few days, he'd been having the cooks attempt making something akin to ramen. He'd eaten the last package a few days before and he was craving it fiercely. They were getting closer every day, though he knew they'd never perfect it. At least not for several centuries. He cursed inwardly and turned, looking back toward where Shippo's room was. The kid had been through so much… Inuyasha wished, silently to himself, that Shippo could find some sort of happiness in his life.

_As unto the bow the cord is,_

_So unto the man is woman;_

_Though she bends him, she obeys him,_

_Though she draws him, yet she follows;_

_Useless each without the other._

_Longfellow_

His eyes fell over the red, silken strands of her hair along its course down the frame of her supple body. Every curve spoke of her vitality, beauty and femininity. The flower in her hair had been removed and crushed in his hands shortly after he had knocked her cold with a single swipe of his tentacle. She looked almost as if she was sleeping, but he knew better. She was like a butterfly smothered beneath a glass that had been filled with smoke.

He knelt beside her and pushed a lock of her hair from her brow. Kouga was a fool if he believed that a deal would be made without incentive. Though the wolf loved Kagome, wanted her, wanted to protect her, Naraku knew very well that his heart also held another. Whether she was little sister, friend, pack member or potential mate made no matter in his mind. Kouga had shown several times that he cared for this girl, this Ayame, and so she made a perfect piece of insurance in case the wolf thought better of his deal with the dark hanyou or, on the off chance that all of this had been a simple rouse to get close enough to make a desperate strike or diversion.

Contrary to the belief of many of his incarnations and, certainly many of his enemies, Naraku was not a fool. However, it was his perceived vanity, cowardice and foolishness that had become his best and most comforting ally. Very few had ever seen through the guise he'd worked so long to build around himself. The few that had were either dead… Or would be soon. He nodded to the mindless incarnation that served as his bodyguard at present that then picked up the unconscious she-wolf and began to carry her back to his newest fortress in the North.

He formed his barrier and flew there, trusting that even if the girl did awake, she would be too weak to fight. He'd forced some of his own blood down her throat, ensuring its toxins left her with a pup's strength long after she was delivered to his fortress.

Naraku landed in his courtyard and walked with purpose toward the guarded shed that was located at the back of the compound. There, he found his incarnations working with the undead potter, Enju, who had been enslaved by Urasue to create clay, undead warriors. Naraku had found the woman and had ensured she was kept alive with a steady flow of human souls in return for her assistance. The woman had been reluctant at first. Reluctant until he had shown her the small group of children he'd gathered from nearby farms and would kill slowly, forcing her to absorb their souls unless she did as he instructed.

She looked up from her delicate work with a scowl. "This is more difficult than working with grave yard dirt and clay, Naraku. This is living flesh you've given me to sculpt, though I shudder to think how you managed such a task."

Naraku smiled maliciously. "Your steady diet of souls had to come from somewhere, my dear. You have several months before they will need to be finished, but both must be complete or I will follow through with my threat."

Enju scowled and looked down at the tranquil face she was recreating from memory. The two were so similar, but it was the subtle differences that she was having difficulty with. The color of their eyes, the severe brow rather than the soft brow. And then he had also demanded they even possess the same scents as their living counterparts. He had supplied the proper herb and oils to attain such a feat, but he was simply so demanding that she found herself wondering if she could complete the living sculptures before the due date she'd only then been given. "Why so soon? Certainly there is a reason."

"There is." Naraku replied, then turned without elaborating further. He smirked and walked toward his room and sat beside the window. There was a reason. A reason he was being so demanding and allowing for nothing but perfection in such a short span of time. He wanted the living dolls to be complete by the time Kagome was due to deliver the child she and Sesshomaru had sired together. The miko would live through what he had planned for her. He would ensure she did, if only so he could complete his final goal. Kouga would be left with his miko and Naraku would have what he desired. His smile took on a sadistic, twisted form. _And Inuyasha… Oh, my dear foe, for you I have reserved one final blow before I kill you. For now, all I need do is be patient. I need to wait. In time, I will have everything I need, including the final shards, and my revenge, as well as my final goal, will be realized. All I need to do is wait._


	18. Chapter 18

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Not mine. Never will be.**_

**Simple Faith in Mysteries**

_(From "Seaweed")_

… … … … …

_Ever drifting, drifting, drifting_

_On the shifting_

_Currents of the restless main;_

_Till in sheltered coves, and reaches_

_Of sandy beaches,_

_All have found repose again._

_So when storms of wild emotion_

_Strike the ocean_

_Of the poet's soul, erelong_

_From each cave and rocky fastness,_

_In its vastness,_

_Floats some fragment of a song:_

… … … … …

_From the strong Will, and the Endeavor_

_That forever_

_Wrestle with the tides of Fate_

_From the wreck of Hopes far-scattered,_

_Tempest-shattered,_

_Floating waste and desolate,--_

_Ever drifting, drifting, drifting_

_On the shifting_

_Currents of the restless heart;_

_Till at length in books recorded,_

_They, like hoarded_

_Household words, no more depart._

_Longfellow_

The lagoon was still and calm that morning, for which Kagome was grateful. Often, when the river was rushing, the water would become murky where fresh and salty water collided, creating a barrier between the two worlds. Today the river was calmer because the mountains were beginning their annual freeze. The blue waters, while not clear, were calm and silent. Almost as if they were made of glass. At the bank, Rin played in the water with Sango. Kagome had convinced Sesshomaru that the girls needed time together and, after much convincing, had allowed her beyond the palace walls and down to the lagoon. Somewhere in the nearby woods she knew Inuyasha, Shippo and Kouga were keeping guard while Miroku and Kohaku kept their distance but remained in sight of the women. She sighed and lay back in the soft sand with her hands resting gently against her slowly swelling abdomen. She had only just completed her second month of pregnancy, and yet she was showing. The healers assured her it was normal and natural with a hanyou child, but they could not completely extinguish her worries. Kaede had done that. The elderly miko listened at her belly every morning now that she was beginning to show and then assured her that all sounded well. It seemed silly, but Kaede was human. The youkai healers were not. Though she trusted them for the part of her son that belonged to his father, she trusted Kaede for the part that was her.

"They say five months… That there are only three remaining…"

"Who are you talking to, Kagome?" Came Sango's soft, warm voice. Kagome turned her head and smiled faintly to her best friend. "Myself and my son. I'm all right, Sango. If something was wrong, I'd tell you, I promise."

Sango nodded, but the worry in her face did not ebb. She squeezed Kagome's hand, and then stood to join Rin at the water's edge.

Kagome sighed and curled onto her side, caressing her belly gently. At least the sickness had passed; though she was worried she was not putting on enough weight. So were the healers and Kaede, which, in turn, worried her mate. It wasn't that she didn't eat. It was that, in order to eat enough, she had to consume almost six full meals to accommodate her son and, up until a week before, she had lost nearly all her appetite to sickness. She honestly couldn't understand how youkai females survived three-month pregnancies. Considering they were built for the preternatural task, she had decided that it all surpassed her mortal mind's grasp and simply stopped trying. But she wished; so dearly, that her mother could see her and know she was happy and was due to give her a grand child.

The thought sent her over he edge again. In the last few days, nearly everything upset her and led to tears. Sesshomaru was beside himself, sensing every emotion and knowing full well their son was privy to his mother's distress only compounding his worry. He had been in a meeting with the emissaries from the other two cardinal directions when she had begun to cry again. He couldn't smell her tears, but he could feel them and it caused a pang to rip through him. He knew she wanted to go to her mother. He knew that she needed that support, but he could not allow it and she, even though her emotions belied it, understood completely and agreed.

He stood and looked in the direction of the lagoon. A faint line of concern touched his brow. "Gentlemen, I believe that is all I have time for today."

The Taiyoukai of the West's words, while meaning to contain all the calm and control his expressions were maintaining, betrayed his concern. The emissaries had been present for several days and had been privy to the state of Sesshomaru's mate. When a human became impregnated with a youkai's seed, the outcome was never predictable. It was the sad nature of hanyou that they churned and stirred the waters of their creation from their very conception. If the mother was the youkai, usually she gave birth without difficulty, however it was never the case when a human mother carried and gave birth to a hanyou. If they were bonded to the youkai father, they usually survived, but not without much difficulty throughout the pregnancy. Not only was the Taiyoukai's mate human, she was a miko of the caliber of Midoriko, meaning their child was a complete dichotomy and all together unpredictable. Not only that, it further ensured a difficult labor. The miko's powers would certainly react to the youkai blood in her child as he was being born, meaning that, without help, she might kill her own son without intending to or he might kill her in retaliation.

In either case, Sesshomaru had reason to be worried. Though the emissaries would never state it, all three found his actions admirable under the circumstances and intended to alert this to their own Taiyoukai upon their return. For the Western Taiyoukai to show such composure even during a time of strife and uncertainty was a testament to his strength and reason enough for a proper treaty between the four cardinal lands that would endure so long as Sesshomaru endured. The emissaries packed their belongings and left the Taiyoukai quickly, allowing Sesshomaru escape from the Western balcony only seconds later to join his mate on the beach.

He gathered his energies and transformed into a sphere of light, flitting down to her side in only an instant. She was curled on her side, weeping while Sango and Rin played nearby. The men had begun to approach her, but halted when they saw him appear and reach down to her.

"I'm so much trouble to you." She whispered, causing him to pause. She pulled her hands from her face, trembling. "All I do is cry."

He sighed and lay down beside her, drawing her to lie on his chest. She curled one leg over his and settled her arm across his chest with her head on his shoulder. He caressed her fervently with his one hand and breathed her in. "You are no trouble. You are my mate and I love you and the child you carry and would not trade that responsibility for anything anyone anywhere could give me… Though your tears do distress me. Even when I do not smell them, I can feel them and taste them as if I were kissing them away. I only wish I could make this burden somehow lighter."

She smiled faintly as her tears ceased and she clung to him slightly tighter. "The only time that the tears even begin to slow is when you're near me. You are my comfort."

He scoffed. "Perhaps you only enjoy me near because then you know I will face the full brunt of your emotions."

She poked him hard in the ribs, causing him to yelp, though her smile did not fade. "You realize that if I was in slightly worse spirits, I might have taken offense at that?"

"I realize." He hugged her and kissed her brow with a certain reverence. "But then I would have to make amends and win your forgiveness, and, as I recall from last week when I did not answer correctly about a certain kimono's fit, you do so enjoy watching me grovel."

"How true." She murmured, mischief in her voice. "But I can't be angry at you now. I know what you left just so you could be with me… That meeting was important."

"It will be just as important when I continue with the ambassadors tomorrow." He ran his fingers through her hair. With the child and the month of rest in his palace, her hair had grown to fall slightly below her shoulders. Though he took delight in having such access to her neck and shoulders, he was glad to have some of the length back in her ebony locks and was quick to compliment them whenever he found the opportunity. "I was thinking, perhaps, that I could send Inuyasha with word of our child to your mother. Perhaps she could send something back with him for you?"

"You just want him to stop torturing your cooks with his cravings for ramen."

"That is only part of the reason, my Love. Though I cannot risk you leaving the shelter of the palace or its grounds for long, if at all as our child grows, I do not want to deny your family the joy of sharing our happiness. If this small thing might bring you some joy, that is all that matters to me."

"And you will have your cooks back."

"And that." He said softly and hugged her tighter to him. "Would you wish for what I have proposed?"

She nodded and pressed her face into the silk of his clothing. "Very much." She breathed, trying not to cry again.

"Then it will be done." He sat up slowly with her, drawing her into his lap as he folded his legs. He could smell the verge of tears and felt slightly panicked that he might not quell them in time. "Would you like to go back to our rooms for a nap, Love?" He whispered through her hair into her ear.

She shook her head and pushed away her tears. "No, I want to stay here with you for a while, if that's alright."

"Yes, though you should eat again soon." He murmured. She was too light. Too light for as far along as she was with their child. He hadn't allowed the healers or Kaede to voice their full concerns to her. He knew it would frighten her and with her closeness to their son, he knew it would endanger them both. He had shielded that particular worry from his mind. Still, the truth was heavy on his heart. If she did not gain weight soon, she would risk losing their son.

She felt ill even at the thought. She'd eaten three meals already and it wasn't even mid day. "I've only just gotten my appetite back…"

"I know. I do not mean to harass you, Kagome. I mean only to coax you further for our son's sake." He captured her lips gently, holding her firmly against him. "It is all I can do. This is not a battle or tactical maneuver. I am out of my realm."

She sighed and hugged him tightly. Too many were too close with youkai hearing. Even if he'd whispered his fears to her, he would have sacrificed his pride. However, she'd become adept at hearing the words beneath his words. He had all but told her that he was afraid and felt helpless. Only she could do what was necessary and it was making him clumsy in his actions and expressions when it came to her. It was in his heart to never deny her anything, and so when she felt ill, even though he knew she must eat, he could not bring himself to force her. "Listen to me." She whispered and caressed his cheek with an infinite tenderness. "I couldn't have asked for a better mate or father for my children. Sometimes what we want isn't what we need and you've been fighting so hard lately to keep what our son and I need in perspective. I don't want you to think I can't see that. I don't want you to think I don' appreciate that. So I need you to forgive me sometimes when I snap or cry or fight you. I'm not myself, but I always know you have the best in mind and I will try harder to lean to your will, all right? I trust you with our lives. I will always trust you."

He smiled softly, his eyes relieved suddenly as he leaned into her delicate touch. "Thank you."

She smiled in return and caressed his lips with fragile fingertips. "Take me back to the palace, Sesshou. I think you're right about the meal and nap."

The Taiyoukai nodded and stood, holding his mate tightly against him. He nodded to those who were still at the lagoon, then gathered his spiritual cloud and flew back to his palace.

Rin smiled faintly and drew her knees to her chest. Her eyes were distant and full of thought.

"What are you thinking about, little one?" Shippo asked as he approached in his deep voice. His change had been difficult for everyone, but no one so much as Rin and Kagome.

Rin shrugged and diverted her eyes to the sand from where Kagome and Sesshomaru had been seated. "Nothing I can really explain."

Shippo sat near her and frowned slightly. The girl was never at a loss for words. "Try."

She sighed and continued to stare at the sand. How could she tell him what she knew? What she felt? She couldn't even tell Kagome or the man she had come to know as her father, the great Taiyoukai of the West. She should have been able to trust them more than anyone else. "It is only that… I want them to be happy. Forever."

The kitsune watched the girl as she spoke. He knew there was more, but he refused to press her for answers. "I do too. I think everyone here does on one level or another."

No, they didn't. She knew that much simply by watching. Inuyasha and Kouga, certainly, only wanted Kagome to be happy. Sesshomaru made her happy and so they did not fight him any more. But there was something else. Something that frightened her. There was something being kept unseen and she knew, in time, when it was revealed, that it had the potential to either destroy or save them all from Naraku. But everything hinged on one specific thing. She simply didn't know if she had the strength to reveal what she knew. "Shippo… Do you believe in fate?"

"I believe in Kami's will, but not in a preordained path we cannot divert from."

"What do you mean?"

He thought a moment, putting his ideas into perspective. "I believe that Kami intended me to know Kagome and Inuyasha and everyone else. I believe that, in that way, our becoming a group was fated, but… I cannot believe that my father's death, or your parent's death was fate. Everyone has free will, and either choose to divert from what Kami intends and what they are pulled toward or to go with the motion and path they have been provided. Even if they do that, no one is ever promised happiness. It's all just good intentions and hope."

Rin nodded and sighed. "I believe that too." She murmured softly and looked to her once very small friend. She felt diminutive next to him now when once she felt tall. He was one of the adults now and it separated them in a rather painful way. "Shippo… What is it like to be an adult?"

Shippo chuckled and met Rin's gaze. "Very much like being a child, except taller… And wishing to be back… As I was. Granted, I was two centuries old when I shifted, but now I have to act like an adult even though I was mostly thinking like one long before now. Even if I don't want to."

"I… I don't understand. Being an adult seems to be full of so many mysteries that I want to discover and know. Why would you wish to be a child again?"

"It's hard to explain, Rin. Kitsune, along with a handful of other youkai breeds mature in such an abrupt fashion. In some ways, it puts us at a disadvantage. But in others ways, it is a benefit. I almost knew to the day when I was going to shift. Or at least around when. So I was able to enjoy my childhood until it was ripped away. The adjustment was abrupt, but I had a chance to really enjoy every moment. Humans and most breeds of youkai mature at a regular rate, even if they are father slow. Inuyoukai, for example, mature about five human years in a hundred. Once they reach maturity, they are guaranteed near immortality. Their hanyou age much quicker. Inuyasha was full grown probably by the time he reached two hundred. He is not guaranteed near immortality like Sesshomaru, but, even in a thousand years, he will not be much older physically than his brother is now. Still, in their maturation, as in yours or Kagome's or any human's, there was a gradual loss. They had the opportunity to adjust and so letting go of their childhood became a series of releases rather than one moment when it was all ripped away. Maybe it is for that reason that kitsune shift so abruptly as well as the other youkai who share our maturation. We never lose our sense of play and mischief and wonder in the world because we were allowed to be children so very long."

Rin smiled and reached out, taking his rather large hand. Her skin tingled with the energy she could sense in him in the same way that it did when she took Sesshomaru's hand. It was as if she could feel their souls. "So you are still the same Shippo inside, you just got taller?"

Shippo smirked and nodded softly. "In all the ways that count." He squeezed her hand lightly, and then released her small, slender fingers with slight remorse. She had no concept of how much he would give to be a child for only a few more years by her side.

She stood and nodded to him gently, reaching out to brush a strand of his copper curls from his brow before she ran after Sango who was playing in the still waters. Her laughter harmonized with the other girl's shortly before they both splashed into the deeper waters. Shippo turned as Miroku and Kohaku joined him where he sat. He felt Kouga and Inuyasha approaching. Rin and Sango surfaced, splashing each other playfully and swimming. The sunlight hit their hair, illuminating the deep red undertones of Sango's tresses and the ashy blue coal of Rin's. In the light, they seemed ethereal water spirits dancing in the glassy surf at midday. Sirens beckoning unknowingly to the poor men on the shore who so visibly lacked their presence and spirit among them and longed to join them.

Rin paused suddenly and looked back on the group of five warriors who sat on the surf. Her breath caught in her chest as the visions came again. They always bombarded her senses, but usually they came when she was alone. When she could hide them from others. Her eyes widened and she saw them standing in the courtyard of some hidden palace in the Northern mountains. Sango was not with them. She knew why, but for the moment it was unimportant. Sesshomaru stood beside Inuyasha with Miroku, Kohaku and Shippo shortly behind them. Both men stood transfixed with the sight before them, both unbelieving.

Two women, dressed in nothing but black, on either side of Naraku, flanking him. Allied to him. In the arms of the woman who had caught Sesshomaru's gaze was a small child with silvery ears and hair and bright cobalt eyes. The other woman held a bow, arrow aimed at Inuyasha's heart, transfixing his gaze.

"What did you expect, great Western Taiyoukai? The mother of your son to run to you? Or you, bastard hanyou, that you could escape the vengeance of your lover? I would never leave her cold in the ground. Not when she wishes your death as much as I do. So what is your decision? Kill the women you love as they defend me or let yourselves fall for their sake?"

Both brothers gritted their teeth and did not answer. In the distance, Rin could see a three figures mounted on crosses, their limbs outstretched and nailed to each arm of the cross in the form of an ex, their heads bowed to their chests.

"Two of raven, one of red… Two of raven, one of red…" The words passed her lips almost like a prayer. She could smell the headiness of their blood, but she knew, instinctually, they were alive. Her breath finally freed and she screamed. She felt someone shaking her, but she could not stop screaming. Her world went black as she felt her body convulse and seize. As blissful unconsciousness took her, one thought slipped into her mind and she held onto it, as if it were the only thread of life left in her body. _It wasn't Kagome… Sesshomaru, it wasn't Kagome…_

_Every guilty deed_

_Holds in itself the seed_

_Of retribution and undying pain._

_Longfellow_

"What happened to her?" That was her father's voice. She could recognize it anywhere. He sounded angry, but she knew that meant he was upset and afraid for her.

"She was playing and then she stopped and stood rod strait and then started screaming." Sango. That was Sango's voice. Why did she sound like she had been crying?

"She said something, though…" It was Inuyasha. He sounded as angry as Sesshomaru… Did that mean he was afraid too?

"It was whispered. I didn't hear it. She said it just before she screamed." Sango replied.

"Her aura is strong. It flared just before she screamed." It was Miroku, the monk. He sounded like he was thinking about something deeply even as he spoke.

"Come on, Baby…"

_Momma, I hear you… Why can't you hear me? I have to tell you… I have to tell you what I saw before it fades away…_

"Can you sense anything, Kagome?" It was her father again. He was closer now. She could almost see him with his hand on her mother's shoulder. She felt a cool hand on her brow.

"I… I think she's somewhere between wake and sleep. Like she's in a trance. Rin, Baby… Can you hear me?"

_Yes, Momma, please help me! I have to tell you… I… No, it can't fade away again!_

"I can hear her… She seems so far away… Her voice is almost at a whisper… I think if I…"

She could feel the warmth of white light all around her where black used to be. _Momma! Momma, I have to tell you now before it fades. Naraku… He is planning something awful. He will steal my brother and… And… And… NO!_

She screamed and sat up as her eyes flashed open. Her eyes filled with white light so their chocolate depths lightened to almost a golden caramel. Kagome's arms were around her. She tried to comfort her, tried to calm her. "I heard you, Rin… What were you trying to tell me about Naraku and your brother?"

The room took on a frightening stillness. Rin closed her eyes and began to weep. "I can't… Remember anymore… Only… Two raven, on red on crosses deep in the North… And… And… Please, no… It's important. It's terribly important that you know… Father…" She looked to Sesshomaru whose eyes softened instantly. "It isn't her. I don't know what it means, but neither of them is real. They aren't them… Two raven… One red…" Her eyes filled with panic as she realized how many eyes were on her. She pressed her face into Kagome's shoulder, clinging to her tightly. "It's fading away… I can't see it any more."

"Rin…" Her mother's fingers were so calming as they ran through her hair. "How long have you had visions of the future?"

The girl trembled in her arms and Kagome only held her tighter. "Forever… I don't remember a time I didn't. The day my parents were killed, I felt drawn away from the house to a field to pick flowers… I never did that until that day. Then I felt very afraid. I saw my parents die like it was happening in front of me and so I ran back and… And that was when I found them. I used to think the flowers saved me… That, maybe if I'd asked my parents to come with me that morning, they'd still be alive. The vision and their death silenced me. I knew that the wolves would come. I knew… I knew where to find Sesshomaru. I knew because I saw it."

"Why didn't you say anything about it?" She felt her father sit beside her, caressing her hair gently, calming her further.

She laughed. It was a hollow, broken laugh. "I never saw anything helpful before now. At least not for the great Taiyoukai of the West to know. And even if I had visions that might have helped, I never remembered them by the time I woke from my visions. This is the first time anything has really stayed… Except…"

"What is it, Rin?" His voice was so soothing to her. It always had been. Even when there was anger in it. There was none now. Only gentleness and warmth.

"You have to tell her, Father. She has to know before the gambit is made." She looked up finally and saw the shock in her father's eyes and noted it also in the eyes of every other man in the room… Except Kohaku. And in her heart she understood why they would have excluded him. She looked up at Kagome and noted her confusion. "You have every reason to be afraid if they don't tell you. They think you not knowing will make you safer. They hide it because they believe you will be safer… And perhaps you would be if you did not have my brother. Naraku wants your son."

Kagome trembled and rested a hand on the small swell at her abdomen. She looked up and saw the guilt in her mate's eyes. She stood abruptly and stepped away. "What aren't you telling me? What foolishness are you and these other men planning? What have you been lying to me about, Sesshomaru?"

"Kagome, this isn't a conversation for now."

"Oh, like Hell it isn't."

"Kagome…" He stood and reached out for her, but she pulled away sharply, slapping his hand out of reach of her when he tried again. He frowned deeply.

"Kagome, all choices were made with the best of intent. It was a plan made in the span before you even returned from your time…"

She rounded on her heel and looked Miroku deeply in his eyes. Hers began to shimmer, but she refused to cry. She was too angry to cry. "And that makes it alright? What would have been the deciding factor for you to tell me this awful thing you men have planned? Or is Sango a part of it too?"

Sango met Kagome's eyes with confusion. "I'm as clueless as you are."

"At least there's that. Shippo?"

Her son looked down guiltily. He didn't know until after his shift, but he had helped keep the secret plan. Even against his better judgment. "Momma, you don't understand…"

"Let me tell you men exactly what I understand. I understand that some plan to deal with Naraku directly involving me was made without my knowledge. Somehow keeping me in the dark was supposed to give you an advantage in the final battle and so the five men I love, trust, consider my family and would put my life in their hands, decided to lie by omission. Even when my son was conceived. Even when they all knew how fragile we both are… Even… Even…" They felt a strong pull from her spiritual powers, the white threads suddenly being pulled with a sharp pain as she ripped away what she needed to know. Her eyes widened and, finally the tears spilled. She felt them approach her. She put out her hands and threw them all back against the walls of Rin's chambers. "Don't touch me."

She felt Rin and Sango gently take her arms to support her when her legs threatened to fold. She leaned against her friend and daughter gently as she began to sob in aching, painful drags of breath. "Let's take her to my room." Sango said softly.

"She… She should go to our chambers." Sesshomaru's voice seemed small and worried.

"Kagome?" Sango asked softly.

Kagome shook her head and hung on tightly to her friend. "I don't want to be anywhere near there. I don't want any of them near me…"

"Don't worry." Sango breathed into her ears. "They might learn slowly, but I doubt they'll come anywhere near you unless it's with their tails between their legs."

"I don't want them near me even then." She whispered as Sango and Rin helped her into the hall.

"What was it, Kagome?" Sango asked, helping her down the hall and into her own chambers. Until a month before, Miroku had slept next to her and they had shared space. Then, without warning, when she'd finally given in and wanted to be with him and give him a child before it was too late, he had turned away from her, saying that he couldn't endanger her and that, until Naraku was defeated, he would not risk their being together. It had confused her, infuriated her, and hurt her deeply, but she'd kept it away from view of everyone, even Kagome. She understood hiding things to protect the ones you loved. She thought she could understand the men and help Kagome forgive their decision to not tell her of their plan.

Sango helped Kagome lay down and Rin curled around her, petting her hair. Sango sat on the other side of her once she had finished bolting her door. She caressed the miko's arm gently. "Tell us, Kagome. We're alone now."

"They hid their plan from me… The plan should have begun once we'd reached here, but… Kouga decided it was best to start immediately. The plan was to go to Naraku and pretend to ally with him in return for my life. They didn't want to tell me because they were afraid Naraku might read it in my mind if I couldn't learn to control my new abilities, just like he did when he kidnapped me in the first place. It was then that Naraku made Kouga promise him that, if I was pregnant with Sesshomaru's heir when I was delivered, that our son would belong to him. Because it was feared that Naraku still has a connection to Kohaku, once it was discovered I was pregnant, Kouga went and told Naraku. Sesshomaru all but ordered him to. Sesshomaru ordered Inuyasha to break his promise to me. Miroku agreed and ensured that Shippo knew, but also kept the truth from me. Even carrying his heir, the bastard is as cold and calculating as he was while he was fighting Inuyasha for Tessaiga. All of them are liars. I can't stand the thought of even seeing them again… Hearing their voices again… Letting him touch me again… He hurt me… So much…"

Rin clung to her mother as she wept, petting her gently. Sango was dumbstruck. "He loves you, Kagome." Rin breathed, pressing her brow against her mother's. Their auras flared with the same mark of pack, reestablishing the bond of family. Kagome began to calm, though she trembled. She gasped sharply and touched her belly.

"Kagome?" Sango looked at her friend with worry. Suddenly her hand was drawn to the miko's belly where she felt the slight movement from within. A small pressure met her hand. She smiled and curled up around Kagome's back, hugging her friend against her form. Rin placed her hand on her mother's belly, feeling her brother beginning to move. "So small." Sango breathed.

Kagome nodded and smiled faintly as she felt her weariness build. The life inside her surged gently to let her know he was there, with her always. "I know he loves me, Rin." She whispered, regaining some of her sense. "They all love me… And I understand why they decided to do what they did, but… That doesn't mean I'm going to fold so easily. Not yet. Or else they'll never learn. I'm not some weak creature. I never have been. They should have been able to trust me."

"So you are going to forgive them?" Sango asked, smoothing Kagome's hair out of her own face, and then holding her close again.

"I think I already have." She murmured, already falling asleep. "Angry and hurt doesn't mean I stopped loving them… Loving him… He should have known better. He should have reconsidered, especially now… With our son. They all bet on me understanding and folding completely to their wills and I won't do that. I can't do that. If only for my son's sake. He has to come first always now. No matter what. Even if they hurt. His safety means more. Even more than defeating Naraku."

Rin smiled faintly and caressed the tiny swell as Kagome began to drift off. She felt some of her fear fade away. _So that was the crux… That was the turning point. I don't know what will happen now, Momma. But maybe that's best for now. At least now… At least now I'm not afraid. I can't lose two families. And I won't._


	19. Chapter 19

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Not mine. Never will be.**_

**A Distant Voice in the Darkness**

_(From "Keramos")_

… … … … …

_Turn, turn, my wheel! This earthen jar_

_A touch can make, a touch can mar;_

_And shall it to the Potter say,_

_What makest thou. Thou hast no hand?_

_As men who think to understand_

_A world by their Creator planned,_

_Who wiser is than they._

… … … … …

_Turn, turn, my wheel! 'T is nature's plan_

_The child should grow into the man,_

_The man grow wrinkled, old, and gray;_

_In youth the heart exults and sings,_

_The pulses leap, the feet have wings;_

_In age the cricket chirps, and brings_

_The harvest home of day._

… … … … …

_Turn, turn, my wheel! What is begun_

_At daybreak must at dark be done,_

_To-morrow will be another day;_

_To-morrow the hot furnace flame_

_Will search the heart and try the frame,_

_And stamp with honor or with shame_

_These vessel made of clay._

… … … … …

_Stop, stop, my wheel! Too soon, too soon_

_The noon will be the afternoon,_

_Too soon to-day be yesterday;_

_Behind us in our path we cast_

_The broken potsherds of the past,_

_And all are ground to dust at last,_

_And trodden into clay!_

_Longfellow_

The boards in the floor were creaking slightly as he continued to pace in his study. His brother was perched on the railing of the Western balcony, overlooking the sea and the setting sun. Kouga, for all his usual boisterous annoyance, was keeping silent, sulking in the corner. Shippo and the monk, Miroku, had not looked up from their hands after staring daggers at each other for nearly an hour after they'd left Rin's chambers and retired to Sesshomaru's study. Kohaku had gone to patrol. He didn't know what the secret plan was and did not intend to ask. He was loyal to the Western Taiyoukai without question and so, even after realizing he'd been kept in the dark as to the master gambit for their final battle with Naraku, he did not even begin to ask why or to protest when he'd been asked to walk the grounds.

She had shut him out. In his own palace, she had shut him out. She'd walled off their bond and formed a protective barrier around Sango's room. She refused even to let him sense their child. She had shut him out and it was driving him to distraction. He ran his fingers through his long silver mane and felt a pang run through him. Already he found himself missing the feel of her fingers along the tender skin of his scalp and the softness of her scent. He knew she'd been angry with him before. Quite often, lately, he'd found himself groveling at her feet in the privacy of their chambers, promising her anything if she'd only find some forgiveness for his imperfections. She was so quick to anger and sorrow and joy. He often felt helpless as her moods would twist and turn from one extreme to the next. But he understood. He forgave her without a second thought and made a game of winning her affections out of her anger. It was not a burden. The only burden was her tears. His fingers began to shimmer with the green of his acid once again, dripping and burning through the wood. Her tears, until today, had been a natural reaction to her being with child. Their child. Today he had caused those tears. He had called her painful sobs and sorrow. The anger he knew he could handle. But not her tears. Not when they were his fault.

"Sesshomaru."

"What?" His voice was icy and dangerous in reply to Inuyasha speaking his name.

"If you are not careful, you'll burn a hole through your floor."

"Let it burn."

Inuyasha smirked and stood, approaching his brother carefully. "I know you want to kill someone. Problem is, the someone's yourself."

"Shut up."

"It isn't fun, is it? Being the asshole whose hurt her. Being the one who made her cry."

"Silence or I'll kill you." He froze and met the hanyou's eyes. He was all ice on the exterior but fire and agony inside. Couldn't his fool for a brother see that? Couldn't he even begin to understand what kind of danger he was playing with?

Inuyasha did not back down. He scoffed and shook his head. "Somebody's gotta tell you this and it might as well be me because you already promised her you wouldn't kill me."

"Press your luck much more and I will not hesitate to break that promise."

The hanyou laughed. The sound was like gravel across a wound. "You marked me as your second in command. What was it you said? Keep your friends close and your enemies closer? Guess what. I'm gonna be your best friend right now instead of your worst enemy."

Sesshomaru snarled and looked away. "You could never be my best friend."

"Then let's settle on being family."

"I don't want you as that either."

"Fine, asshole. Why don't we stick with another guy whose so damned in love with your mate that I can't see straight, but I want her to be happy so I'm helping out the worthless father of her baby? Does that work for you, you cock sure son of a bitch?" Sesshomaru's glare became enflamed. Only a slender thread was holding him back. Inuyasha could see it shimmering and taught tied between the Taiyoukai and Kagome. "Good. Now I've got your attention."

"Speak. Quickly."

"Everybody but you whose in this room knows I'm a master at making that woman angry. Even at my best, I found some way to piss her off so bad she sat me into a crater. She can't do that to you. She doesn't have an easy way to punish you."

"She cut me off from our bond, you do not think that is an easy way to punish me?"

"No, I don't. Because it punishes her too. She probably cut you off so you wouldn't feel how bad she's hurting. The only time she ever walked away from me was when I hurt her so much that she couldn't bear to let me see it cause she knew it would hurt me too. If she had a way to punish you without cutting herself off from you, I promise you that she'd take that option. She wants you to understand how bad she's hurting and I doubt you'd stop her from having that cause I bet you're beating yourself up as bad as I used to."

"I won't be leashed like you are."

"Give me a break! Do you hear yourself? Do you think I don't see exactly what's happened between the two of you? You won't be leashed like me, huh? Guess what, you already are. She's got you held so tight inside her you can't pull away and you don't want to. If she gave you a rosary too, it wouldn't mean anything except that you've accepted her bound up inside you as much as she's accepted you."

"You are speaking foolishness."

"I'm speaking the truth. Sesshomaru. Believe me. If I thought her walking away from you was the best thing, I'd leave you in the dark. I wouldn't want to help you out right now. Cause, when it gets down to it, I don't give a damn if you're happy. I don't give a damn if you're breathing except that she does and I ain't ever seen her as happy as she is when you're near her or touching her… Or holding her. It's like she lights up from the inside out and now… With that baby… Your son… I always thought she was beautiful, but it's like some kind of divine spark's gotten inside her and even when she cries or is angry at you, I can see she'd never want to be beside anyone else but you." Sesshomaru's eyes lowered to the floor and he seemed, for a moment, to become very small and vulnerable. It startled Inuyasha, but not enough to stop him from speaking his mind; finally, to the egotistical bastard he got to call his brother. "You and I got dealt a nasty first round, Sesshomaru. I don't know why your mother left our father or why he chose to take another mate and sire me. I can't imagine why he left orders for me to be his heir and not you, cause Kami knows I never wanted it. I lived my whole childhood wondering why and praying I never got what was supposed to be yours in the first place, and when Kagome freed me and I learned I wouldn't have to bear our father's position, I almost wanted to thank you. I know you'll always hate me for just existing and what it has to mean for the family you had before… But don't hate me for something our father decided against both our wills or because you think I want to take Kagome away from you any more. The Western lands and my best friend belong to you. They always will, so long as you let me stand beside you and help you to defend them."

Sesshomaru raised his eyes and met Inuyasha's gaze. He realized, perhaps for the first time, how similar the golden color inherited from their father really was. Golden like the sun and their hair silver like the moon. "You forgot one thing I should hate you for. You took my arm."

"You got careless."

Sesshomaru smirked as some of the ice fell away from his gaze. "So I did." The Taiyoukai sighed and sat at his desk. "What do you suggest I do, Brother?"

Inuyasha sat across from the Taiyoukai and met his eyes, gold for gold. "First we got to find a one eyed old lady and ask her to make a present for your mate. Then you just wait outside Sango's door until that barrier opens up. It will in time. They can't stay hold up in there forever."

"Are you so certain?"

The hanyou laughed. This time Sesshomaru fought the corner of his mouth as it threatened to curl in a smirk. "You forget Kagome's pregnant? The barrier will drop. Probably sooner than you think."

_Big words do not smite like war-clubs,_

_Boastful breath is not a bow-string,_

_Taunts are not so sharp as arrows,_

_Deeds are better things than words are,_

_Actions mightier than boastings._

_Longfelow_

The barrier crackled and opened just enough for Rin to slip through the door, then crackled closed. She rushed forward as the door closed and ran headlong into a pillar of silk. Gasping, she looked up and saw her father staring down at her. "Rin, I must get in to see her."

Rin shook her head and turned toward the kitchens. His strong hand caught her arm and she was held firm. "Father, she doesn't want to see you yet. She isn't ready."

"I must see her." He said again with a softness slipping into his tone. "It is important."

"You hurt her worst of all, you know?" She finally found the strength to look up and meet his eyes. "It isn't even that you didn't tell her. It's because my brother's been caught up in it. She loves that baby, Father, like he was the whole world. You hurt her because she believes you don't love him as much as she does… Because you treated them both like soldiers in a war and they aren't."

"Rin…" She'd never chastised him before. She'd never spoken an ill word to him in the time she'd walked by his side. It shook him in the same way Kagome's anger and pain had at his betrayal. "It was never the intent."

"I know that. She does too, I think… But, Father, did you or any of them actually think she'd just let you get away with that kind of carelessness? She'd sacrifice herself in the battle with Naraku, without question… But her son? Your son? She needs time. She'll come to you when she is ready. Until then you need to leave her alone."

The Taiyoukai released his daughter, then looked back to the door that she had emerged from. He sighed and reached into the flowing silk of his haori and produced a rosary made of clear quartz. He slipped it into Rin's hands with a cool but accepting look. "Give this to her and tell her that it is hers to choose, but I have been and always will be hers. I have done nothing unless it has been for her benefit."

Rin nodded and smiled faintly, caressing the beads in her hand. "I will, Father." She slipped the rosary into her pocket, and then turned toward the kitchen, quickly heading toward her task. Half an hour later she returned to Sango's door with a huge tray of food and drink, enough for the full day and then some. The barrier crackled again and Sango opened the door for her.

Rin walked to a table and set up the food for eating while Sango helped Kagome up from where she'd been laying next to the window. Once Kagome had food in her hands, she ate as if she hadn't in days. I was not from hunger, however. It was solely for the benefit of her son. She was too upset to actually be hungry. As soon as he had moved, she had realized how fragile he was. At only two months, he was large enough to shift within her so that she could feel his presence which meant, without proper nourishment, he would whither within her. She had no choice but to ignore the faint feeling of nausea and the weight on her heart and eat as much as she could without making herself ill.

When she finished, she felt Sango's hand caress her hair. She leaned gently into her friend's touch and trembled as her tears returned. "I miss him. I feel like I've cut off my legs or torn out my heart blocking him like this. I'm so weak, I can't even hold out a day…"

"Shhh, you aren't weak." Sango whispered and cradled her friend, smoothing her hair as she cried. "You are anything but weak. You love him."

"But he… He was going to sacrifice us."

"No, he wasn't." Rin said softly and moved so she could sit beside the miko. She pulled the rosary from her pocket and slipped it into Kagome's hands. "And you didn't break first. He was waiting outside for you Kami knows how long like a pup with his tail between his legs."

She looked at the rosary in her hands, feeling the slight weight of the polished stones in her hands. It was by far more regal than the one that had been placed on Inuyasha. She shuddered as she touched the two polished fangs that had been strung on the front. Tears welled in her throat again as she kissed both. "They're his." She whispered, feeling the power resonating through the necklace. A rosary alone was not enough to subjugate Sesshomaru, as it had been for Inuyasha. The great Western Taiyoukai had to give in and sacrifice some of his power in order to create his own leash. His fangs would return and probably had already, but it was a symbol even more than it was a leash. It had been those fangs that had channeled his power so he could claim her.

Sango looked at the rosary Kagome held so gently in her hands. The miko's fingers caressed over the stones with reverence and love. "He wouldn't have come up with this on his own."

She nodded softly. "He had to have thought it was a good idea, though… This speaks louder than any word could have… I'll have to thank Inuyasha."

Rin smiled faintly. "Could I ask one favor, though? For Sesshomaru's pride?"

Kagome and Sango looked to the girl and the miko nodded with a quirk of her lips. "What is it, sweetheart?"

"Don't make the word be sit… I doubt he could take that." 

The three burst into laughter and Kagome hugged Rin tightly. "I promise you, Rin, that I won't use that word on Sesshomaru."

Rin nodded and smiled, clinging tightly to her mother.

In his daughter's garden, he found himself pacing again. Kouga had gone off patrolling with Shippo while Miroku and Inuyasha remained, keeping the tempestuous Taiyoukai company. A sudden shift in energies caused Sesshomaru to stop suddenly in his pacing and look back toward his palace. He felt the barrier melt away from around Sango's room. Miroku and Inuyasha joined him a few seconds later. "She's… She's let it down… But I can't sense her or our child. She's still blocking me."

"She's heading toward your chambers." Miroku said with certainty. He could sense Kagome a mile away now; her power was so individual and bright. "She's alone, too."

"No… If she wanted me to go to her, she would allow me to sense her and our child."

"Don't be an idiot" Inuyasha grumbled. "She let down the barrier. Isn't that enough of a signal for you?"

"No." He replied, shortly. He was not being foolish or idiotic. If she truly wanted him to come, she knew exactly how to achieve that end. He turned and walked to a tree and sat, leaning against its trunk. His eyes fell on the balcony that extended from the chambers he shared with his mate. He knew she'd change them considerably upon their arrival, but he had never considered how she might do so. Instead of removing his collection of weapons and relegating them to the library or his study, she left them where they were, but had that tapestries replaced with long bolts of softly colored silk that complimented the colors already present in their rooms. She ordered that freshly cut flowers always be present and that climbing flowers be trellised up onto their balcony. She'd turned what had once been a warrior's chambers into a warrior's garden and, as sentimental as it sounded even to him, she was the most cherished flower there.

After an hour of waiting, Inuyasha crouched in front of him, causing him to scowl. The hanyou and Miroku had taken up his place pacing. "You are the most stubborn ass in the world."

"More stubborn than you, Brother?" He quirked a brow.

"In this case, yes. If it were me, I would have run to the palace and sniffed her out whether she let me sense her or not."

"This is not stubbornness. This is patience."

"No it isn't. She dropped the barrier. She made her move. She's waiting for yours and you're waiting for her to break again so she is forced to call for you rather than simply having you come and find her."

"That isn't what I'm doing." He snarled faintly as he met his brother's gaze.

"Maybe not consciously. What I've always said about you is true. You're a cruel, cunning tactician even when you're at your best. Even when you think you have the best of intentions." The Taiyoukai looked away in disgust and Inuyasha scoffed. "Stop thinking about everything and just do what you've wanted to since the barrier fell."

"No."

"Now you're just being an ass because I told you to do it and you know I'm right."

"This Sesshomaru will not be laughed at." He grumbled. Mokomokosama tightened around his shoulder, suddenly and he frowned. He could feel the splitting in his mind again and it worried him, though did not surprise him. Even when the finest blade has been broken, then re-forged in the fires it contains a weakened point that threatens fracture again.

"I ain't laughing at you. For once, for Kami knows why, I'm on your side. I don't understand it much myself, but I wouldn't laugh at you. Not about this. Cause I've been where you are right now… Well, not exactly, but close enough. Going belly up for that woman is… Humbling no matter how you look at it, even knowing she'll forgive you and then forget it like it never happened. So get up off your pompous ass and go to her. Face her. Don't make her wait more than you already have."

He sighed and shook his head. "I still hate you."

"You wouldn't be my brother if you didn't."

Sesshomaru smirked and stood slowly with his eyes focused on the balcony. The windows were closed. He would knock at the door so she would have to admit him entrance. "Tell Kouga that the gambit is forfeit. I have been torn about it since I took her as my mate and I realize now what I should have understood all along. She is too precious, too important to sacrifice even in the most carefully constructed plan. Naraku is unpredictable and dangerous. I will not risk her life. I wonder how I even thought for a moment I could."

Inuyasha and Miroku nodded to him in response before he walked toward his palace. He stood tall and regal as he always did, but internally he felt small and naked. He felt weak and broken in the face of this girl, this woman, really, who had so captured his soul. He approached the door to their chambers and knocked gently, waiting for her response. After a moment, he heard the softness of her voice, calling him in by name.

He opened the door slowly and entered, finding her standing near the balcony, looking toward the area he had been only moments before. He closed the door behind him and closed the distance between then faster than a human eye could have tracked. His arm slipped around her waist and found her eager to press back against his form, gripping his hand where it rested against her belly, against the swell where their child rested. The scent of her tears touched his delicate nose and he held her only tighter, shifting so he could kiss the juncture of her neck and shoulder fervently. "I will not put you or our child in danger. I was wrong to even consider it, Beloved… A fool to have allowed my whole world to be put at risk. I don't expect you to forgive me, but please consider allowing me to make it up to you. I am willing to do whatever you ask of me, bend to your every will for our eternity if you wish it of me. Only do not block me out, Love. I feel hollow without you."

She turned her head slightly so that her cheek pressed into his lips where they rested against her ear, caressing his jaw tenderly along its memorized slope. "So do I." She whispered, gradually allowing the barrier she'd erected in their bond to slip away. As their son again sensed his father, he pressed to his hand where it rested on Kagome's abdomen, then kicked. She felt her lover tremble and hold her even tighter. He gasped in a sharp intake of breath as their son kicked again and the barrier finally fell completely.

"I'm sorry, Kagome." He breathed, kissing her cheek gently, gathering her up into his embrace with mokomokosama's help. He laid her on their bed and curled around her side with his head rested gently against her breasts, listening to the thrum of her heart as his hand caressed her abdomen. "Forgive me… Please forgive me."

She trembled as she realized he was asking for their child's forgiveness as well. She smiled faintly and began running her fingers through his hair, kissing the crown of his head. The life in her surged softly in a pulse to his father, causing them both to shudder in his already staggering strength. Sesshomaru raised his head and smoothed the ebony of her hair from her brow. Kagome stared in slight wonder at the man before her, raising her fingertips to his cheeks, tracing the wet that fell from his eyes. "I didn't think you could cry."

He smiled boyishly and leaned into her touch before leaning and kissing her fervently. He felt her tremble softly and, as her lips parted in a breathless gasp, he deepened their connection, wrapping his arm around her, slipping his fingers into her black tresses at the nape of her neck. Slowly, achingly, he broke their contact and breathed her in deeply, then pulled back sharply and looked at her, startled.

"Sesshou?" She whispered, her eyes full of distress and confusion. "Is there something wrong?"

He shook his head and then gently rested his face against her chest, again taking in a deep breath of her scent. Then again. Then again. He only paused at her laughter to capture her lips again. He growled softly as she tried to speak, only deepening his kiss, causing her to moan and shudder against him.

When he released her, she found herself spinning, clinging to him. "What was that all about?" She murmured, pressing herself against his chest. She didn't remember sitting up, but she was now, cradled protectively in his lap.

He gazed down at her with that same boyish grin and caressed her jaw gently. "I can smell him in your scent now. The barrier is still there, protecting him, but he is present in your scent."

She smiled and took his hand, kissing his palm tenderly. "Such small things seem to make you happy."

"Not small." He murmured, gripping her hands gently. "Our son is strong and moving within you. His scent is mingled with yours. It means he is well and safe and growing. This is not small."

She blushed faintly and sat up completely, slipping off his lap. He frowned in confusion until the rosary was pulled from a fold in the silk of her garment, and then nodded his head in acceptance. "I think you are looking at this as a punishment, but it isn't."

"Inuyasha said…"

"Inuyasha isn't my mate, though I'm thankful to him for his help where you are concerned. This idea had to have come from him and I suspect he wasn't afraid to share some of his insight with you about me… But as I said. Inuyasha isn't my mate. This means more to me than some sort of leash where you are concerned. In fact, this isn't a leash to me at all. No more than you bonding your aura to me have ever been a leash. This is a submission as powerful as my submission to you was the morning you took me as your mate. Even though I can block you out, I know how much power the bond gives you over me. I have to fight not to bend to your will, even when I know you're wrong. This rosary only evens the field for us so I am not simply your mate. You are mine too."

He looked up at her with a surprised gaze. "I would never exercise my power over you as my father never did over my mother even though he could have."

"I know you wouldn't, Sesshou. But you have to understand that, by its nature, the bond gives you sway over me that negate some of my free will. It simply comes down to the fact that, unless it is something entirely wrong and against my own nature, I have no power to say no to you."

He nodded faintly and reached out, caressing her face gently, letting his fingers slip down to the faint, almost indistinguishable markings from his fangs still present on her throat. He hadn't broken skin, but the markings had come from the energies that had poured and pooled and fused between them. The marking would have only been sensed, not seen as well, if their bonding had not stretched on for such an agonizing duration. "I never want you to feel as if I have more power over you than you do over me. You are correct about my view of the rosary up until now, however… I see now what it has become for us. And I welcome it."

She blushed softly, tracing where his fingers had fallen on her throat. She slowly pulled herself onto her knees, and then slipped the rosary over his head, pulling his hair from beneath it. She ran her fingers through his long silver tresses, feeling him tremble as he met her azure gaze with expectant amber pools. "Rin made a request that I not use the same word I used for Inuyasha. That it would wound your pride. Frankly, I don't want to use that world because it would degrade you and I don't want you to feel degraded. I've certainly never felt less than myself or less worthy since you marked me. I want to promise you, though, that I will do my best not to use the word unless we are in private. You are the Western Taiyoukai. You bow to no one, at least not where anyone but me can see you do it." He chuckled low in his chest, wrapping his arm around her hips, his eyes dancing with mirth. She leaned and kissed the crescent moon on his brow, running her fingers along his jaw. "_Down, Love_."

He felt the pull of gravity and found himself held up from falling into his lover's form only by the strength of his forearm, his face pressed into her chest. He shuddered and panted softly as the pull released. Hearing her giggle, he lay to the side of her and cuddled against her tightly, wrapping his arm around her. "You take too much pleasure in that already."

"Only because of all the ways I could possibly use my new power." She teased, and then laughed, almost screaming as he tickled her.

"Wicked woman." He growled playfully and nipped at her neck, smiling when she gasped and leaned into him gently. He turned gently and found her gaze, then caressed her face, cupping her cheek. "And still, I will never want another." He whispered, gently pressing his brow to hers.

She trembled, tracing the markings on his cheeks from memory as her eyes closed. "Me either. Not ever. Not even after the end of time."

_The surest pledge of a deathless name_

_Is the silent homage of thoughts unspoken._

_Longfellow_

Dreams are where the soul lives when time stands still. How long had she been bathed in the soft pink light of timelessness? She couldn't count the days because time could not be collected through the presence and passing of shadow and night. She was caught in a perpetual dawn of soft light all around her. But from her place outside of time, she was given certain vantage points in dreams.

Tonight she dreamt of her brother, now the Western Taiyoukai, in his palace curled around his human mate. She was so beautiful. Miyoko had known long before her brother knew exactly what the girl would become to him. She had known because of the prophecy her mother had shared with her, certainly, but also because, being so outside of time, she was privy to many things while she walked from dreamscape to dreamscape.

Her name was Kagome. She was a miko. She was like Midoriko who Miyoko had never met but had been told much about by her parents, who all but worshiped the long dead woman, at least her father had, and her brother, who wished only ill upon her. This new miko, Kagome, reincarnation of Inuyasha's lover, Kikyo, had somehow healed Sesshomaru's soul. She had fused the two halves into a whole again and so, unknown to her mother, Satori, the prophecy had failed. It would not come to pass. Something else would.

_I wish you could hear me, Kagome. I wish you could see what I see. Rin, my brother's adoptive daughter, dreams as well, but unlike her, I am always dreaming. If only you could hear me, Kagome. If only you could know what I know. You fight going into battle and endangering the life of my nephew, but there are times when things must be done no matter what the cost. Unfortunately, you cannot hear me. I cannot tell you what I know. I cannot tell you that you will not lose anything in your sacrifice if you can find the strength to take this risk. I cannot tell you that, even through the pain and darkness, you will again find yourself bathed in light. I am trapped here. Trapped until you and my brother find me. Trapped as a helpless witness as events play out. I wish… I wish I could help. I wish I could stop what will come and make it all easier for you and my brother… My brothers. Both of them will have to face their fears when the time comes. I only pray they are strong enough to trust themselves… And to trust you, Kagome. Love is the strongest force. Love is the only force. Once they understand that, you will have all the strength you will need to endure and bring this all to an end. Be strong, Kagome. I will be watching you and praying, somehow, that my dreams will come true._


	20. Chapter 20

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Not mine. Never will be.**_

**Rising and Reaching Upward**

_(From "The Spirit of Poetry")_

_There is a quiet spirit in these woods,_

_That dwells where'er the gentle south-wind blows;_

_Where, underneath the white-thorn, in the glade,_

_The wild flowers bloom, or, kissing the soft air,_

_The leaves above their sunny palms outspread._

_With what a tender and impassioned voice_

_It fills the nice and delicate ear of thought,_

_When the fast ushering star of morning comes_

_O'er-riding the gray hills with golden scarf;_

_Or when the cowled and dusky-sandaled Eve,_

_In mourning weeds, from out the western gate,_

_Departs with silent pace! That spirit moves_

_In the green valley, where the silver brook,_

_From its full laver, pours the white cascade;_

_And, babbling low amid the tangled woods,_

_Slips down through moss-grown stones with endless laughter._

_And frequent, on the everlasting hills,_

_Its feet go forth, when it doth wrap itself_

_In all the dark embroidery of the storm,_

_And shouts the stern, strong wind. And here, amid_

_The silent majesty of these deep woods,_

_lts presence shall uplift thy thoughts from earth,_

_As to the sunshine and the pure, bright air_

_Their tops the green trees lift. Hence gifted bards_

_Have ever loved the calm and quiet shades._

_For them there was an eloquent voice in all_

_The sylvan pomp of woods, the golden sun,_

_The flowers, the leaves, the river on its way,_

_Blue skies, and silver clouds, and gentle winds,_

_The swelling upland, where the sidelong sun_

_Aslant the wooded slope, at evening, goes,_

_Groves, through whose broken roof the sky looks in,_

_Mountain, and shattered cliff, and sunny vale,_

_The distant lake, fountains, and mighty trees,_

_In many a lazy syllable, repeating_

_Their old poetic legends to the wind._

… … … … …

_Longfellow_

Their faces were masks of shame and trepidation. There was fear, particularly in her son's eyes and her brother's. She imagined that, next to her lover, they had the greatest to lose. Or at least they felt they did. She sighed and felt her resolve fade. It wasn't that she was not angry with each one of them. It wasn't that she felt they deserved any kind of easy forgiveness. It was that she was simply so exhausted. Her rage had weakened her physically and spiritually and she was left with the overwhelming fact that she couldn't sustain her once so easy resolve to find some way to punish them all. She sighed and leaned back against the tree where Sesshomaru had set her in the gardens on the boarder of Rin's field. Her beloved was watching her every move, as were the other men who loved her so completely.

"You are all so lucky that I don't have the strength to make you pay for hiding the truth from me." She murmured absently, and then smirked in a rather annoyed fashion. "I spent myself on my mate and so it would seem you're spared for the time being."

Inuyasha raised a brow and crouched next to her small feet. He reached out and gently took one of the dainty appendages free of sock or shoe. Kagome raised her eyes to the worried eyed hanyou. "Saying the word wouldn't take much energy."

She laughed with faint brokenness. "Having the will to do it would. Frankly, with the look in your eyes and the fact that you're begging me to S-I-T you, I think the easy way out would make you feel better and I don't want you to feel better."

"Kagome…" His eyes were shocked that she might be even slightly sadistic. He'd known her so long and he'd never seen this side of her. He gripped her foot a bit more firmly. "It was a stupid decision on all our parts, but it was done with love. Certainly you can see that?"

"Love for me, but that isn't the person I am concerned with, Inuyasha. He can't fight back or speak for himself and, until I discovered your nasty little secret which, by the way, how does that fall under our bargain that you tell me everything in order to regain my trust, Inuyasha?" Her mind switched roads quickly. "No… That doesn't matter so much that it seems I'm the only one who actually cared if my son lived or died."

"That isn't fair."

She looked up at her mate and scowled. "I honestly never thought you'd defend your brother."

"Only because doing so defends myself as well. Kagome, the plan was put into motion long before you were with child…"

She grabbed a strategic strand of his silken silver hair growing just above the lobe of his ear and pulled hard. He yelped. She released him. "Then it should have ended once you found out."

He rubbed his scalp gently and scowled. "I thought you forgave me."

"I did and I do, but until I decide to forgive them, you're still getting residual anger."

"Kagome, that isn't fair." Came Inuyasha's voice.

She snapped her head back to the hanyou who still had her foot in his hands. She raised her leg and kicked him hard in the chest. "No ganging up on me! And since when did you ever, ever care whether or not the fight was fair concerning your brother?"

"Since I realized the only way you were going to be happy was when he was near you and you forgave him." He said, touching where her foot had connected with his chest. "Whether you want to admit it to yourself or not, you need him as much if not more than he needs you. People do stupid things sometimes without even realizing they are until the people most important to them end up getting hurt. You know for damn sure that I'm one of the worst at that. Or best, depending on how you look at it. We aren't perfect. The problem is… The real problem is that some part of you doesn't really believe that. So when we do these stupid things that end up hurting you, you get hurt even worse and… I don't know how you manage it, but you end up thinking it's your fault."

"I don't!"

"You do. Sit me if you want, but you know it's true as much as I do. I've seen you blame yourself for my stupidity so many times and I really don't feel like putting up with it any more, Kagome. It's why it's so easy for you to forgive because that isn't what you're doing. You're just letting go and blaming yourself so you can forget we did anything to begin with." He reached out and touched her foot again. She drew her knees to her chest and leaned into his brother when she covered her face with her hands. "We aren't perfect, Kagome. It's flattering you'd even begin to think that, but none of us are. We love you and we're hopeless fools for not thinking about what our actions might do to you… And your son. We're just as imperfect as you think you are, if not more so."

"I'm sorry…"

"No. Nuhu. You don't get to apologize. You didn't do anything stupid or wrong, Kagome. All you did was protect your child. You still are. If you didn't do that, you wouldn't deserve him."

"You should listen to him, Love." Sesshomaru whispered into her ear, cradling her against his side. Mokomokosama curled around her protectively when she trembled. She wasn't crying, she was simply processing and making sense of what his brother had said.

She let her hands fall from her face a moment later and looked at the lines in her palms. Of the three lines in her palm, head, heart and life, her heart was the deepest. They were all deep, but her heart won out, followed by life and finally by her head. She traced her heart line gently with one finger, taking note of all the smaller lines that branched and wove into its depth. She sighed and closed her hands in loose fists. "I always feel too much." She whispered and felt her lover's arm tighten around her waist. "So much sometimes I can't think… And it isn't that I think any of you are perfect, Inuyasha. I'd be more naïve… So much to a fault than any of you give me credit for if I thought that. You aren't perfect. It is only that I… I love you each so much, the imperfections seem to sparkle and make you more… Beautiful than you could have been if you were perfect. I love you each for your faults as much as your perfections."

"Then why can you not love yourself?"

His words caused her to shiver and she felt his arm only tighten around her. She looked up and met his eyes. "Why can't you?"

He smirked faintly, then smiled his gentle smile and kissed her brow. "You know why and have me at an unfair disadvantage. I have not known the whole of your history."

"It's the same reason, Love, only with different cause. We aren't that different."

"There are some who would beg to differ." He traced his lips along the course of her cheek, kissing her lips gently.

She felt a part of her melt slowly and she sighed, curling against him. "They would be wrong." She whispered and felt his chest rumble softly. She looked up to the small contingent of men in front of her. They were all there, save Kohaku who was out at the lagoon with Rin. "I'm still hurt. I doubt that will fade away with any quickness, but I understand… I know that none of you would have done anything to deliberately hurt me. You haven't lost my trust, you just haven't won my forgiveness yet."

Inuyasha smirked faintly and nodded, standing. Kouga approached slowly from where he'd been leaning against a bounder slightly further off than the others. "One question, though… Where does that leave us with Naraku? He expects me to deliver you a month before you're due. I realize we won't be doing that, but he might retaliate. Hell, it's sure he'll retaliate and in the cruelest, bloodiest way possible. We all know this."

Kagome sighed and shook her head. "I don't know… But as of now, that decision doesn't need to be made until closer to the date. As I said, I trust all of you. I don't understand battle or tactics, so it isn't like I could simply help you with the decision… Except to say that I'm opposed to being handed over to Naraku as bait, endangering my son. In any other way, I will help."

"You are not getting near the fight." He said, softly, looking down to meet her azure eyes with his golden ones. She smiled faintly and raised a brow to him. "I made a mistake. I am amending it. My instincts told me I should have ended the plan once we learned of our child and I ignored them. I will not make the same mistake."

"You could protect me and I could stay very far back."

"No."

"I could try to use my new abilities to help all of you."

"No."

"We could…"

He silenced her with a deep kiss, knowing full well how to best make her succumb. She shuddered and clung to him tightly as a soft sound of submission slipped from her throat. "I said no. There will be no more argument."

"You don't play fair."

"Neither do you, pretty mate."

She sighed and kissed him again, gently. "Fine then. You boys figure this out and I am going to take a walk." As she stood, Sesshomaru took her hand gently and met her eyes meaningfully. "I won't leave the grounds, I promise." She caressed his palm with her thumb and he reluctantly released her. Once she was out of hearing range, Miroku and Kouga sat down along with Shippo and Inuyasha. Sesshomaru ran his hand through his hair, sighing faintly.

"How insane are you going right now?" Miroku asked him with faint mirth in his voice.

"Not so mad as I would be if I hadn't given in and taken her as my own, Monk." He said with purpose, meeting Miroku's gaze.

Miroku scowled and looked away. "You have less to risk."

Sesshomaru smirked faintly. "So you say… We need to decide what will be done. A way to stave off Naraku and, perhaps, divert him… Still use this to our advantage. I will not risk Kagome and our child, but… Certainly there is some part of the plan we might salvage."

Inuyasha shook his head and smiled wickedly. "Tactician. Always a damned tactician."

"Having a plan is better than rushing head long into battle, little brother."

"Doesn't make you anything other than you are."

The Taiyoukai shook his head and sighed faintly, leaning back again against the tree where his mate had been sitting. His eyes moved in the direction she had walked. Since he had felt their son move within her, since they had sensed his power, he had been forced to realize what his heart had known all along. The child was worth more to him than anything he possessed. Kagome and their son was his whole world and, while he had known as much before, now there was no doubt that he could not bear losing her. He returned his attention to the discussion at hand while, silently, he wished he could have stood and gone with her, following her as her protector always. She was safe within the walls, he knew, but he still could not ignore the fact that he was not with her.

She walked through the winding trees on the outskirts of Rin's field. The last of the summer flowers were blooming. A faint chill was touching the air, kissing ever breeze as it caressed along her skin and through her hair. Soon she would have to bring her daughter and Sango to the field to make the last few summer crowns and bouquets before autumn and winter descended on the palace. She sat in a small clearing filled with pale pink flowers. They were small and delicate, suspended above the earth on one feeble, fragile stalk without any leaves or other shoots. Slowly she wove the flowers together into a crown for herself, meditating as she did. The pink of the petals reminded her of the pink of her miko powers. As she completed her crown, she looked at the fragile flowers. The color began to blend together and blur. She gasped faintly as she watched the pink begin to sparkle and shine with her own powers, creating a kind of mirror within the center of the crown. Slowly a face began to materialize.

She was beautiful. Simply and completely beautiful. Her eyes were a dark, almost onyx black. However, unlike Kanna's eyes, the woman's eyes were lit from within so her eyes seemed more like hematite and less like a fathomless void. Her hair was impossibly long and silky of the same color of her eyes. There was something about her features. Something about the shape of her eyes and line of her jaw. It was the way her lips curled in a smile and how the depths of her eyes danced and shimmered that seemed entirely familiar. Then it struck her. "Miyoko…" She breathed reverently. "You are human."

The woman smiled faintly. Physically, she was barely sixteen. Maybe slightly older. As she let her eyes fall from Kagome to look at her hands, she could see ribbons of Sesshomaru's features as well as Inuyasha's. To be more precise, of Inu no Taisho. "It would seem as much, but I am not." Her voice was almost musical in the same way Sesshomaru's was. Controlled but filled with silk and warmth. "I cannot explain, but I must warn you, Kagome. This rapport will not last long and there is something very important you must know now."

"But where are you? I must tell your brother… And how do you know me?"

"You have been in my dreams since… Since I came to be as I am. Where I am. But that does not matter. Not now. You must understand that there is something by far more important than me. Your son. You. Rin. I cannot tell you the exact nature of what will happen, Kagome, but you must know that, when the decision comes, it will be entirely yours. Have faith that your son is stronger than either you or my brother could have guessed. You do not need to worry for his sake."

"I don't understand…"

"Understand only that, when you choose, you must choose Rin. She is infinitely important."

"But our son…"

"Is strong. He is the son of the miko of the Shikon no Tama and the Western Taiyoukai. He possesses the strengths and powers both of you have given him as his inheritance. These powers are even more close to him than you because, until he is old enough to think as a tactician or be even somewhat a victim of his emotions, his soul will be governed by instinct. He has inherited access to the same divine abilities both you and Midoriko possessed. For many years, he will be protected by them and his own survival instincts. Kagome, you must trust that. You need to trust that. Rin has none of those abilities. All she has is her visions and not even a slight control over them. They are not enough to protect her from what will come."

"What is to come? Miyoko… You must tell me. They are my children…"

"Calm, sister. Know that I have been watching you all along. I have seen how far you have come and you must trust your innate strength. You are the reed in the river, bending and moving with the rush of the water, but never breaking. You are the tide gently crumbling away the seawall into sand through time and patience. Your strength is not something any one notices until they must rely upon it and then… Only then can they possibly understand what it means not only to survive… But to endure."

"But Rin…"

"Is not safe."

She shuddered and stretched her perception out beyond the palace's barrier to the lagoon. Her breath stopped when she found a broken Kohaku, nearly dead, with his shard removed. She looked back into the crown to find it nothing more than a circlet of pink again. She gasped and was on her feet, running back toward her mate. She screamed out his name as she came within the distance she knew he would hear her, yanking almost painfully on the still present threads of white light that connected her with him and the others while, simultaneously feeding white light into Kohaku, trying to save him.

Inuyasha cursed, feeling the strong yank from Kagome. Sesshomaru had stood, hearing her voice, gasping when he felt the pull as well. He rushed to her, catching her up in his arm when he reached her.

"Kagome… Kagome, what is it? Is the child…"

"Rin…" She gasped out, clinging to him, shaking. "Kohaku… Is on the beach. His shard is gone. Rin is gone. They took her…"

His eyes darkened as he looked toward the lagoon. "Who took her?"

She shook her head. "I don't know… All I know is that she's gone and Kohaku… Kohaku is dying and I can't keep him alive much longer."

Miroku, Inuyasha, Kouga and Shippo were off toward the lagoon without a word from Sesshomaru. Shippo was ahead of the others, shifting into his nine tail's form without a second thought.

Sesshomaru held Kagome tighter to him. "Go… Go and find her." She whispered to him. He looked down and frowned deeply. "I am safe in the palace walls. She's our daughter. Go and help them."

He nodded faintly and then, begrudgingly released her and raced toward the lagoon. She sat and watched him go, trembling. She placed her hands on her slowly growing belly, caressing gently. "How can I choose between my children? Was Miyoko right? I don't understand…"

"You don't have to understand." The voice was familiar and, somehow, not familiar. She raised her eyes and met deep azure pools, identical to her own. The man was encircled in white light and vaguely translucent. She trembled and he smiled faintly. "Do you have faith in yourself?"

She nodded, shuddering a bit more. "You are…"

"Of no consequence. Yet." He reached out and touched her with his shimmering fingertips. She felt like sparking pulses came with the feathery touch. "I always wondered what they meant… When they said you were pure and still so very, very strong. I never got to see this part of you. I see it now. They were right. You have always been beautiful, but you shimmer now. You are like the starlight…" He let his hand fall and sighed. "If you have faith in yourself… In your love… In fate, you will make the correct choice. And it isn't a choice at all, really. It is instinct. It is guttural. It is innate. Those are not choices, really, so much as action based upon true knowledge. Know yourself. Know your mate. Know your enemy. Know your path."

"I cannot lose a child…" She choked out, tears slipping down her cheeks.

"I can't tell you what will happen. That isn't my place." He smiled faintly. It was a small smile. A gentle curling of his lips that was so very familiar even framed in long, ebony tresses. "I was told once by two very intelligent men that if I didn't have something to fight for, then I had nothing at all. One very intelligent woman told me… Well, she has told me a lot of things, but the most important was this…" He looked up and again met midnight blue with midnight blue. "The mind can be clouded. The heart can be torn. The spirit can be broken but the soul… The soul always knows its true direction. Its true destination. Because it is led by the divine."

She felt a wave of panic as his form began to fade. "Tell me what I'm supposed to do…"

"I can't do that." He said softly, with a hint of regret. "But if I am here, speaking to you, then you must already know. Trust yourself. Trust him. Trust me."

She trembled as he vanished from her gaze. She saw Sango and Kaede rushing toward her from the palace. Breathlessly they knelt beside her. "Rin has been taken." She whispered. She already knew by whom. She knew why. She simply knew and she trusted her knowledge.

Sango frowned, and then raised her gaze as the men approached carrying a broken body. Her breath caught and she felt the heat of her tears. "Kohaku…"

"Don't be afraid, Sango." She whispered and stood, walking toward Miroku who held the badly broken boy in his arms. He was barely breathing. The only thing that kept him was the light she was pouring into his soul. "I won't let him die. Not so long as I have a choice." She pressed her lips to the boy's brow and channeled white, divine energy laced with her miko powers into Kohaku, healing him and revitalizing his soul at once. He would need life energy forever. His soul would leave him and he would die if she could not continue giving him energy, but for now… For the time present, she could keep him alive.

The boy's eyes fluttered open and he gasped, tearing way from Miroku's arms. He crouched back, several yards away, checking his back and arms, the looked toward Kagome. His gaze softened, then filled with guilt. "They came… Out of the water. Golems made of clay. Like Kikyo was… There were too many. So many. They took Rin. They… They took the jewel…"

Sesshomaru growled and looked to where Shippo was pacing in his human form. "That was why there was no scent. Only earth and sand."

Kagome looked down at her hands, and then touched her abdomen gently. She fought back her fear and shook her head. "He won't kill her." She breathed. "He needs her."

"How can you know that, Kagome?" Kouga asked softly, frowning as he studied the miko intensely.

She did not look up. She closed her eyes and reached out, sending a surge of light with her. As she moved past the palace walls and continued her search, she masked her energies and traveled through the very earth and systems of roots, vines and living things. She found him. To the North. He could sense everyone on one level or another. Rin was not yet present. She was nearly there, held in a barrier, being carried beneath the waters until the golems could reach the rest of Naraku's men. She opened her eyes as the light faded, shifting the midnight blue to a pale crystal. "He has employed Enju in creating the golems. He never intended to follow through with the agreement he made with you, Kouga. He always intended to have incentive. Now he has two pieces of that… He has Rin and he has Ayame and now one more fragment of the jewel."

"We have to attack him." Came her son's voice. She sighed and walked over to Shippo. He shook his head at first, refusing to stop pacing. She grabbed his hand and he paused, curling his fingers around her small, slender hand.

"No. He'll kill her, Shippo. He'll kill them both for spite and in the cruelest way possible. As of now, they are valuable alive and unharmed. He gains nothing by tormenting them or endangering their safety. As of now, Ayame has been locked away for several weeks and has been fed and taken care of. I doubt he would harm Rin either. He'll take care of her."

"Momma…" He whispered and finally met her eyes. "What is going to happen?"

She smiled faintly. "You're all grown up and you still turn into a little boy sometimes." She sighed and reached up, pushing his unruly curls away from his brow. "We'll do what needs to be done. Naraku intends to trade one beloved and a daughter for another beloved and a son. The plan was kept from Kohaku for a reason, but my learning about it and reacting so badly in front of him while his jewel was still connected to Naraku probably set his plans in motion much sooner than he had intended originally."

"There is little time." Her mate said softly and she turned her gaze to meet his.

"No, there isn't." She murmured and felt a tear course down her cheek. "Do you trust me, Sesshomaru?"

"Kagome…"

"No. No rationalizations. Simply an answer. The truth. Do you trust me? With myself. My own life… And the life of our son. Do you trust me?"

He faltered but, to his credit, he did not look away. "I trust you completely… But I do not trust Naraku completely. He is unpredictable."

"So am I, Sesshomaru." She walked to him and caressed the markings on his cheek and neck with reverence. He looked down at her tenderly, his arm wrapping around her waist. "But you know my heart and so you trust me. The mind can be clouded. The heart can be torn. The spirit can be broken, but the soul always knows its true direction." She leaned up on tiptoe, kissing him deeply, feeling his arm tighten around her even more. She pulled back from the kiss just enough to speak. "Your soul will always know the direction of mine as I will always know the direction of yours. Trust me, Love. Have faith in me and do not flinch. Trust me."

"Always." He whispered, kissing her again, gently, taking comfort in her contact and words. His heart was pounding in his chest and he felt broken. Rin was gone. Though he did not show his distress, he knew she could feel it. He trembled as he felt soft energy coming from her. He frowned and pulled back from their kiss, watching as she became engulfed in white. "Kagome… No, don't!"

"Trust me, Love. Please trust me." She breathed as her form took on more light. The brightness made everyone step back except Sesshomaru and Inuyasha. They watched as the form of Kagome shimmered and then, in a great burst of energy, disbursed and was gone.

"Where… Where is she?" Came the soft, tearful voice of Sango where she was holding onto her brother.

Sesshomaru approached where Kagome had been standing along with Inuyasha. The brothers met their golden pools in understanding. "We need to move quickly. Sango… You and Kouga go with Kirara. I need you to gather as many of my soldiers as you can from the out skirting towns and villages along with anyone else who is willing to fight for us. Send them North. Kouga knows the way."

"But where is she? Where did she go?" Came her question again.

"She's gone to divert him. To divert Naraku." Inuyasha said softly, closing his eyes. "We have to trust her. For once we have to trust her to take care of herself and her son. She's…"

"She's strong." The Western Taiyoukai said gently, almost to reassure himself. "She is our center. She holds us and gives us a reason to keep fighting. It is strength without having to be strong. We must trust her and do what needs to be done… Now."

As they went to their own separate tasks, far to the North, a raven-haired woman began her slow walk up a desolate path to a castle fort built into a craggy hill. Her steps were sure even though she was afraid. Her hand rested over her belly protectively as her deep blue gaze studied the man who stood waiting for her, ominously, only a few hundred yards ahead. His black hair fell long to his elbows in unkempt curls and his ruby eyes pierced her very spirit with his intent. She was terrified, but still, she walked forward.

"Kagome, miko of the Shikon no Tama… I did not expect you without the wolf." Came his sickening voice across the slowly closing expanse between them.

"Both you and I know that neither of us do what the other expects. And we both know that you never believed in Kouga's rouse, otherwise you wouldn't have kidnapped Ayame or Rin. I think that we need to stop playing games, Naraku."

He smiled darkly as she came within only a few yards of him. He admired her suddenly. Perhaps he would have to retain more of her spirit than he had originally intended for his ultimate end. "Yes, Kagome. I believe that the time for games is over now."

**(So, yeah, not my favorite chapter. I doubt anyone will disagree with me. It didn't want to be written. I fought it tooth an nail. I won. Sort of. It could be better. I don't like it. Oh well. …Sigh… In any case, thank Goddess for Vienna Teng. She's my muse right now. Her music rocks. Without her, I wouldn't have been able to write this at all. I wanted to thank ChaoticReverie, Ladywyrm and mia1837 for their sweet words and compliments. I've learned that I'm kind of a review slut. They make me happy and encourage me to keep going. And they make me just giddy with euphoria, so more please. Lots more. More makes Ivy a happy girl. Teehee. In any case, I hope you all enjoy. Peace.)**


	21. Chapter 21

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Not mine. Never will be.**_

**Only a Look and a Voice**

_(From "The Builers")_

_All are architects of Fate, _

_Working in these walls of Time; _

_Some with massive deeds and great, _

_Some with ornaments of rhyme._

_Nothing useless is, or low; _

_Each thing in its place is best; _

_And what seems but idle show _

_Strengthens and supports the rest._

_For the structure that we raise, _

_Time is with materials filled; _

_Our to-days and yesterdays _

_Are the blocks with which we build._

_Truly shape and fashion these; _

_Leave no yawning gaps between; _

_Think not, because no man sees, _

_Such things will remain unseen._

… … … … …

_Else our lives are incomplete, _

_Standing in these walls of Time, _

_Broken stairways, where the feet _

_Stumble as they seek to climb._

_Build to-day, then, strong and sure, _

_With a firm and ample base; _

_And ascending and secure _

_Shall to-morrow find its place._

_Thus alone can we attain _

_To those turrets, where the eye _

_Sees the world as one vast plain, _

_And one boundless reach of sky._

_Longfellow_

The pulse, the tick of their heartbeat, measures each life. In each pulse, a memory is formed. A decision is made. A life is shaped. Sometimes, if love is strong enough and hearts are close enough, their pulses beat time as one. They are connected by one heart they move in response to. They shape destiny together for the sake of that one life. Without that heart, they have no pulse. Without that life, they have no strength. Without that one, there is nothing but space and the staggering beat of their own, lonely pulse, hollow and echoing in the vast nothingness of time.

She had followed him up the steep pathway through the gates of his castle fortress. He had invited her as if she were an old friend coming over for a meal after a long absence. Both knew that this wasn't the case, but Naraku took perverse delight in his little game and Kagome, more interested in buying time than denying the evil hanyou his pleasures, allowed him to continue with his farce. Upon entering the gate, her eyes fell on the slight, raven-haired girl who, as if in a daze, followed two clay golems toward Naraku.

"Rin…" She breathed as the girl approached. Her eyes were glazed and her face was vacant as Naraku reached out and caressed her cheek. She looked up at him but did not see him.

"You should not try to wake her. If you do, she will be afraid. She might scream or fight me and then I would have to harm her. You do not want me to harm her, do you Kagome?"

His voice was like acid and putrescence in her ears. She trembled. "No. Leave her be. You have no reason to hurt her."

"Have I ever needed a reason to do harm to innocence?" He slipped his bloody gaze back onto the miko only a few paces behind him. "You should know that if you cross me, I would take very great pleasure in hurting her. I will take even more pleasure in ripping her innocence away and leaving her broken at your mate's feet. You see, I know very well that there is more than one way to break him. Now there are three and I hold all of them very close to me."

"That is why I'm here. To protect him."

He laughed cruelly. "You cannot protect him and yourself and your children. There are simply not enough of you. I believe you have made a very dangerous mistake."

"Perhaps I have. We will see."

He smirked and looked to the raven-haired girl whose cheek he was still cradling. "Put her with the she-wolf. I will deal with the two of them later."

Kagome watched as her daughter was guided away and out of her sight. When Naraku turned back to meet her gaze, she smirked crookedly at him. "So now it's time to deal with me."

"Precisely." He chuckled and motioned as he walked toward another part of the castle fort. "I would like you to see something I've been preparing for you."

"Would this have something to do with Enju?" She asked casually and took faint delight when the hanyou's shoulders tensed. "Oh, was that a part of the surprise?"

"You are humoring yourself at my expense, Kagome. With your daughter's life so tightly in my grasp, you have to ask yourself whether playing such a dangerous game is such a good idea."

She smiled faintly. "You have a point. However you do like to play games, Naraku, and I know how much you like to talk. Haven't you ever wanted someone around who can at least provide you a challenge?"

He chuckled. The sound of his laughter was like the feeling of bile rising in her throat. "That is why you are still conscious, sweet Kagome. You know, I really don't want to kill you. I intend to win, you know, and I would so enjoy having you to play with once the final battle is won. I know you'd never willingly agree, which is why I ensnared Enju. You can't blame the poor girl. I threatened her meager existence and the ultimate end of her soul, thrusting her into an eternity of pain and torture."

"I don't blame her, Naraku, I blame you."

"So long as we know who is the cause for the ultimate end. I don't want any of the hatred you hold within you given to someone undeserving. Especially when the hatred belongs entirely to me."

As they approached the small outcropping of buildings, Kagome's eyes fell on two figures standing and cloaked in black. Nearby was Enju guarded by several golems. Kagome frowned slightly as Naraku walked to the two cloaked figures and caressed them fervently. "What did you force her to create, Naraku?"

"They are masterpieces, really. Enju's greatest works born from my vision." He pulled back the hood of the first cloaked figure that was veiling their face. Kagome trembled as she saw the visage of her previous incarnation, Kikyo, formed of living flesh and bone. Every organ, every pulse was alive, but her eyes were dull. She had no soul. Naraku sneered and kissed the living doll's cheek. "She is so nearly perfect that, if you could not sense the presence of her soul, you would simply think her dazed or drugged. But she is nearly perfect, not completely. I have found that no matter how Onigumo loved her, obsessed upon her, that I have found another by far more perfect." He turned and removed the veiled hood from the other figure. Kagome shuddered and looked away as she came face to face with her own mirror. "Oh, Kagome… Are you not even going to appreciate your own beauty? I ensured that she is your exact mirror." His voice sounded of sin and evil. It made her feel ill as it wrapped around her mind. "I even made sure this version smelled exactly the same and… Tasted the same. Now all they need is the spark of life you possess and they will be exactly what I require to win."

"You will never get it."

"Oh, Kagome… I most certainly will. I will because if you do not give me what I want, I will ensure that your daughter and that pitiful she-wolf wish they were dead a thousand times over before I finish with them. I will give them agonies both spiritual and physical that you could never dream. You will comply or I will make good on my threats. You will do as I tell you or I will ensure that every shred of sanity and joy is ripped so fully away from them that not even the warmth and brilliance of your newly discovered light will guide them back from the darkness I will place them in." He approached and touched her face. She winced, but did not flinch from his fingertips as he guided her face so their gazes met, blood for blue. "Don't make me do it, Kagome. We both know that it will break your spirit and I would not be the only man who would mourn that. Don't fight me. You came here to save your daughter, not let her be destroyed. You said yourself we needed to stop playing games and we both know exactly what the other is and is not capable of."

Her pulse was pounding in her ears and she trembled at his touch. She reached out to Sesshomaru and sent him love and hope and apology along their tenuous bond stretched nearly to its limit. She followed her instincts. The thrum of logic and morals she forced into the back of her mind and allowed that knowledge, that understanding of her own capabilities to take over. She allowed the base of what it was to be Kagome overtake everything else and, to anyone who did not live in the rhythm of her heartbeat, it might have seemed she folded to the dark hanyou's will. It seemed that she gave up. "I will do as you ask. For Rin. For her sake."

Naraku smiled darkly and kissed the little miko's brow fervently. Her slight form shuddered and folded as his dark energy overwhelmed her and forced her into unconsciousness. He caught her easily with his tentacles, cradling her against him. "Good girl."

Enju trembled as she watched Naraku carry the girl to one of the slabs she had formed the two living dolls of flesh upon. His eyes turned to her after he had smoothed the miko's clothing and hair. "Finish, Enju, and then return to your cell until I have need of you again. Remember, if you fail at this last portion of your task, I will place your soul in a hell you cannot possibly imagine."

The clay woman nodded and approached the unconscious miko. First she sought out the portion of her soul that was still Kikyo. That fracture of her soul had become so completely fused and healed, it was almost as if Enju had to shatter the girl once more to remove it. She placed the energy into the flesh doll and fused the fracture completely along her charkas. The flesh doll writhed and fell to her knees, crying out as she was torn back into life.

Kikyo looked up and stood slowly. Her powers returned slowly, pooling in her belly where they had always rested. She turned and looked at the flesh doll of Kagome, then to Naraku. "What game are you playing now, Naraku?"

"A game where you finally are able to kill Inuyasha. You have a new life now, given to you by me. All I ask in repayment is that you stand at my side and fight for me in one battle. You never need feed on souls again in your new form. Your life is yours."

"Why would I ever help you, Naraku?"

"If not for the sake of your own freedom and a chance to kill the hanyou who chose to stand at the side of your reincarnation instead of yours?"

"I have made peace with that, Naraku."

He smiled wickedly and placed his hand over the small swell at Kagome's belly. "Then perhaps to ensure that the child she carries is never harmed. You see, I will win this battle and I will raise her and Sesshomaru's son as my own with the help of the girl who stands near you. Part of Kagome's soul and spirit will be fractured off along with her innocence to animate the mirror standing beside you. She will not remember me nor have access to her spiritual powers, but she will be mother to the boy. You could be his protector and ensure I do not taint him… Too badly, that is."

"What will you do with what is left of her? That will remain in that body?" Kikyo asked, raising her brow, hiding her true emotions skillfully. She had been at peace. Her soul had been at rest and her anger dashed completely. She had forgiven Inuyasha, taken comfort in his slow recovery from the aspect of Kagome's soul where she rested and felt joy with Kagome in her new life at the Taiyoukai's side. She had not been separate. She was Kagome and now she was Kikyo again and she was not happy about it in the slightest. His threat to Kagome's son was a threat to her own son, but Kikyo was nothing if not controlled. She hid the truth very well.

"I am not certain yet… At one time I was going to give her to Kouga as a peace offering, but now… Now maybe I will make her my own toy. I simply don't know yet. We shall have to see… But what is your answer, Kikyo? Would you like your revenge and a new purpose defending the infant boy this girl carries? Or shall I kill you? Or perhaps him?"

"Don't threaten me, Naraku." She spit out, frowning deeply at the dark hanyou. "You know better. I will fight by your side for both of those reasons. The son she carries is as much my own as he is hers."

She held her breath, hoping he wouldn't question her. She hardened her gaze, hoping beyond her first hope that he would believe her. When he laughed, she knew. She knew he believed. "Very good. A guard will show you to the armory where you may dress and equip yourself."

She nodded and watched for a moment as he looked back onto the miko's face, caressing her hair in an almost repulsive manner. She turned when a guard came to lead her away. _Don't be afraid, sister. I won't let him harm our son. Or our mate. Or our brothers. Rest and ready yourself and know that I am on your side._

Once Kikyo had been led away, he looked back to Enju. "One more task. I wish for you to do as I originally planned, but I would like you to add one more aspect of her soul. I want her innocence, her purity, that part of her spirit as well, but I also want you to put in a portion of her fire. That aspect of her soul that defies me, but not enough that she will not bend to me. If that is not within the doll you have made, Sesshomaru and Inuyasha will not believe and, frankly, I would harm her. Without fire, she is only a child meant to be broken."

Enju nodded and swallowed back her distaste for the task. Kagome was such a beautiful soul. So pure and warm and powerful. Splitting her again, fracturing her so completely felt like the greatest sin against nature, and so, as she stared at the soul before her, Enju paused. A soft surge of warmth and forgiveness came from the light she could see in her mind's eye. It was Kagome, giving her permission. But she couldn't, even with her permission. Even knowing that the miko would allow it. _Kagome, I can't… It isn't right. We must fight him._

_We will fight him. Trust me, Enju. Do as he asks and trust me. It will be all right. Everything will be alright._

Enju trembled physically and completed her task with some trepidation. She didn't know why, but she trusted the miko. She had to. There was something so calming and entirely powerful about her spirit and soul. Especially her soul. Even after fracturing her twice, Kagome was more bright and stronger than most souls ever were. Enju then animated Kagome's mirror. The flesh doll also cried out, falling to her hands and knees, shaking almost violently.

Naraku left the miko's side and approached the girl who was weeping into the earth, frightened. He touched her shoulders gently and she leaned into his touch. "There, there, little one. You're alright."

"Wh-where am I? Who am I?" Her voice was shaking and breathless as Naraku helped her stand. The girl leaned against him.

"You are safe with me in my castle and your name… Your name is Kagome." He did not let the girl turn to where the miko lay, still unconscious. "I am going to send you to a room where you will be bathed and dressed. In a while, I will be bringing a baby to you. You will be his mother, do you understand?"

"I understand what you say, but… But am I its mother? I don't remember anything… What is your name?"

"My name is Naraku and you will be his mother. I will help you remember in time, but for the moment, you must trust me. Trust me, Kagome. Know I would never harm you or your child."

She listened to his words. They seemed strange to her, but she said nothing. She did not voice her lack of trust or her fear of him. She would do as he said and protect the child he would bring to her. In time she would understand, she was certain of it. "Yes, Naraku. I trust you."

He chuckled darkly and kissed her cheek as the guard approached. "Very good. I will see you again soon." He murmured and watched her walk away. Once she was gone, he looked back to the miko who still lay unconscious. He returned to her side and caressed her face almost lovingly. "You are so beautiful. What will I do with the last fragment of you once I have taken your son? I suppose I will have to decide that when the battle with your beloveds is ended. Until then, I have the perfect place where you, the she-wolf and your daughter can watch as I tear them into the next world. I've been preparing it for a while now."

Enju watched Naraku and felt her self become physically ill. He raised his gaze to her and she bowed faintly before returning to her quarters. Her heart twisted, but she forced herself to trust the miko. She was strong. Much stronger than Naraku knew. Hopefully it would be his undoing.

Once Enju had gone, Naraku picked up the miko carefully and carried her to his quarters where Kanna waited with her mirror and the three priests she had gathered for him. They were magically bound within the room and terrified of the dark hanyou's wrath. Naraku smiled darkly as he laid the miko on his bed. "Kanna, you will go and watch for the Taiyoukai and his band of warriors come to save Kagome. Ensure that others are watching elsewhere in case Sesshomaru has decided to gather an army that will attack from another direction so we can be ready."

Kanna nodded and left the room, her black, voided eyes devoid of emotion, thought or will. Naraku looked to the three priests and smirked. "Your duty will be to ensure that the miko's powers advance her pregnancy and she delivers her son without complication. Know that if you fail and either her or her son are damaged in any way that I will send pain, death and wrath onto your villages and temples and then I will slowly end all of you. You have, at the most, a day to complete your task."

"But, Lord Naraku… What you ask is nearly impossible, even for the birth of a hanyou child." Said one of the elder priests.

Naraku's laughter sent chills through their bodies. "Then I suggest you make it possible. You see I do not accept failure, as I made plain to you." He turned toward the door, leaving the priests to their tedious and dangerous task.

The evil hanyou walked through his castle and found his way to the cell where the child, Rin, and the she-wolf, Ayame were being kept. As he opened the door, he smiled darkly as his gaze fell upon the two vacant eyed women. "Come." He said simply and the two followed him out of the castle fort, further up the desolate path to a cliff where three crosses made in the shape of an ex had been placed overlooking the castle fort and the road that led up to it where the final stand, no doubt, would be made. With Kohaku's shard, his powers had increased greatly. He had managed to create shackles that would absorb the energy of both youkai and miko that were fused with the thick wood of the crosses. He lifted up each female into their crosses, securing each limb before he released them from his mind control. He left the center cross open, ready for the miko who would be, in a short time, giving birth to her son. He smiled as both the she-wolf and woman-child looked at him in horror.

"I know, you remember exactly what has happened over the course of the time that you have been within my clutches. No doubt you remember your captures…"

"What did you do to Kohaku!?" She cried out before she could stop herself. She had thought that her vision wouldn't have come true. She thought that the crosses would remain empty. She thought… She thought there would be a happily ever after. All she remembered was Kohaku fighting off the clay golems and then the blackness as they overtook him and claimed her.

"Ahhh, Sango's brother. Yes. He should be dead by now since I reclaimed his shard."

"No!"

"How sweet! Sesshomaru's little brat fell in love with the boy. Oh, this only becomes more and more wonderful. I can't wait to see your face when your dear mother is placed beside you."

"Kagome… No, she wouldn't…"

"But she has. She's given herself up. It looks as if she loves you enough to sacrifice herself and her son."

Rin began to shake, pressing her eyes closed. Tears streamed down her face. Try as she might, she could not reach out to her senses. She could not tell if he was lying or not. "Two raven, one red… Nothing has changed. It will all come to pass and everything I love… Everyone will die."

Naraku chuckled and sighed in vague disappointment. "I wanted to break you myself, but it seems that it was all too easy. So I will settle for you, Ayame." He looked to the she-wolf who was currently snarling at him. "You see, when Kouga comes to save Kagome, and he will, I will take very great pleasure in disarming him with the both of you and then killing him slowly, painfully in front of you."

"Kouga's stronger than that! He won't let you hurt him!" Her faith in him was so strong, nothing could ebb it.

Naraku chuckled and tore the flower from her hair, crushing it, laughing at her protests. "Kouga is a man in love. Both of you hold places in his heart and he will happily sacrifice himself for the two of you. Believe me. He will. He'll make himself a martyr. Believe that he won't if you wish, but know that if he does decide to fight, it simply means that he doesn't love you enough to sacrifice him self. That the love you thought he held for you was false. Either way, pretty Ayame, you lose and I win."

He turned from them and chuckled as he heard the gasp from the girl. Oh, he would take such pleasure in breaking her. Such perverse, happy pleasure in watching her fall. Perhaps he would extend all of their pain. Perhaps all three women would become his toys. Yes. That would definitely be a joy he could get used to.

As she felt the energies of her aura and her child's aura manipulated and moved, she curled even tighter around her son both physically and mentally. She held herself in a fetal knot and within her mind; she wrapped around her son and calmed him. Whoever it was that was causing the shift in her power were not causing harm to her son and so her instinctual power was allowing them to continue, causing his tiny form to grow dramatically within her. The energy was not tainted or evil, so whoever was forcing her son to grow so dramatically quickly was not one of Naraku's incarnations, however they most certainly were being controlled by Naraku's will.

She could not sense the passing of time while she rested in her mind, but she could measure it in a way by the growth of her son. In her mind, a black energy had been transferred to her from Naraku and was interfering with her coming to consciousness, however she was not fighting anything. The only thing she was doing currently was ensuring her son was safe, calm and growing healthily while those in the waking world caused her aura to flare and force his growth.

Dawn touched the castle when Naraku finally went to check on the miko and her progress. He smiled viciously as he saw her curled around her large swell. The priests were readying her for labor and, from the line across her brow; no doubt she was on some level feeling the pangs course through her. He sat on the bed and sat her up in his lap, caressing her face tenderly. It caused her to frown only more. A husky chuckle rumbled in his chest.

"No sign of your lover or your friends yet, sweet Kagome. They must have forgotten you… No… Perhaps they are gathering their forces for an attack. Surely that is the reason. The Taiyoukai would not abandon his mate or his heir." He looked up to the priests who were readying her to give birth. Stress creased their brows. "Would it ease your worry if she were awake?"

Instant relief touched their faces to which he laughed. "I cannot give you full consciousness. She would become… Difficult, no doubt. But I can urge her through the energies I have placed in her mind. Tell me what you need and I will whisper it to her."

They nodded and continued. Soft, mewing whispers escaped the girl as her contractions began and clear, pinkish liquid poured from her. As the priests urged her to push, Naraku whispered the command to her, reaching her mind in her deep unconsciousness. The miko would not fight him, he knew. The life of her son was in danger if she fought him on any level. By the time the sun had fully risen, Kanna's matching mirror, which Naraku had kept close, focused on the vision of the band of men as they approached the front. Naraku laughed. The sound was soon joined by the squall of the tiny boy being born. His short silver hair and ears lay flat onto his head as the priests cleaned him and his mother, cutting his chord and wrapping his fiercely red flesh in a soft blanket. Naraku laid the child's mother back onto his bed and took the tiny boy, still bright scarlet with rage and looked down into his squalling countenance. His tiny eyes opened to reveal piercing azure orbs that mirrored his mothers that soon formed an angry scowl at the onyx haired hanyou who held him.

Naraku tisked in disapproval. "Now, now. Enough of that. You don't even know me and you look at me like you hate me." He looked up to the priests. "Ready her and ensure she is not harmed even slightly. I will return in a few moments to deal with her." When they nodded, he turned away and knocked upon the door to the room where Kikyo had retired. The miko answered the door and raised a brow at the tiny boy Naraku held. She put out her arms and he shook his head. "No, no. Not for you. I wish for you to come with me and stay with the young Kagome who will be tending the baby until I return for the three of you to face the boy's father and uncle. They are approaching the gate."

Kikyo nodded and followed Naraku to the door of the young girl, Kagome. She answered and her eyes lit up as they fell onto the baby she was handed. She held him close and he instantly ended his whimpering, snuggling into her embrace. She caressed the baby gently and her voice trembled when she spoke. "He is mine… He belongs to me, I feel it."

Naraku smiled and kissed her cheek gently. "Protect him with your life, Kagome. You should give him a name."

"I feel… Like I should ask someone's opinion first… His father."

"His father doesn't care. You may ask my permission if you like."

She paused, and then looked up at him with innocent curiosity. "Could I name him… Sesshomaru?"

Naraku scowled. "Any name but that."

"Oh… Souta, then." She murmured, looking back to the tiny boy, kissing his smooth brow.

"Souta is fine… This is Kikyo. She is your sister and will be keeping you company for a short while until I come to fetch you. Always remain at my side once we go to the gates. We will be meeting some rather unsavory characters and they must see that you are with me as well as your son and that you will not be leaving my side. Do you understand, Kagome?"

She nodded and smiled softly. "I do."

"Very good." He looked to Kikyo and nodded, then left as the elder miko closed the door to Kagome's room.

Kikyo looked at Kagome and then at the child. She sighed and leaned, kissing his brow. "You are so important. We will protect you, little one, until your mother is returned to you." She whispered once she knew Naraku was far away. The baby cooed and Kikyo smiled. She looked up and met Kagome's eyes. "You realize he is not to be trusted?"

The girl nodded. Even her innocent, naïve gaze held complete understanding. "The child… Is mine, but not mine. I do not trust Naraku, but I know I can trust you. You are… More than my sister, are you not?"

"We were once parts of another woman named Kagome. This baby's mother. She released us from her because she knew that we would protect him while she could not. We have very real purpose today. Trust your instincts. You will see two men soon with silver hair much like the child's. The warrior with the crescent moon of midnight and markings of crimson is the boy's father and the other who has ears like the boy is his uncle. You must not show that you do not trust Naraku until the last possible moment. Then you must escape his reach quickly. When I call your name, you must move. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Kikyo… But may I ask who Sesshomaru is? The name… The name is more than familiar."

Kikyo smiled and sighed, running her fingers through the girl's long ebony tresses. "He is the boy's father and he loves us very much. Trust him. Trust his brother, Inuyasha. They love us and would rather die than see harm come to us."

Naraku approached his room and opened the door. Time was a factor, so he had not stayed to listen to the two women as he might have normally. He needed to deal with the unconscious miko before her mate and brethren arrived. The priests had finished their work with her. Naraku snarled and sent out his tentacles, impaling all three, killing them instantly. As they fell, he cradled Kagome in his arms and kissed her brow again to begin the slow release from her deep slumber. He wanted to see the pain and fear in her eyes once she realized how helpless she was.

He climbed up to the cliff-side where Rin and Ayame were already shackled. Her eyes began to open as he shackled her wrists. "Ahhh, she begins to awaken. Look dear girls, you have company."

"Momma!" Rin called out, tears falling freely down her face. Panic rose in her throat as she realized that the baby, her brother had been taken. "Momma, my brother, where is he?"

"Rin?" She whimpered, trembling. Her body ached still from giving birth even though she had not been conscious during it.

"Kagome, are you alright? Your clothing is covered in blood!" Ayame said with a wavering voice.

As Naraku finished shackling her legs, he rose up and kissed the miko fiercely. She whimpered and writhed weakly, feeling her miko powers drained away from her. He chuckled as he pulled away, dragging his hands over her form. "This is rather familiar, is it not? You're not untouched, but I don't mind. I won't take any less pleasure in defiling you once I have finished slaughtering your lover and your friends and family. And once I have finished with them, I will very slowly kill the she-wolf and woman-child in front of you to show you how very helpless you really are. Will you like that, Kagome? Will you enjoy that?"

As he turned to kiss her again, she bit down hard into the side of his lips and cheek where the juncture came together, drawing black blood into her mouth. He howled and thrashed, then back handed her hard enough to make her see jagged streaks of light in her vision. One hand went to his cheek, holding it in place as it healed. He growled and pulled her head up by her hair, meeting her eyes. She smiled crookedly, spitting his blood into his face. "You tell me, Naraku. Will I enjoy that?"

He sneered as he realized the change in her. "So this is what you look like without your warmth and innocence. You remind me very much of Kikyo after she was first brought back. All wrath, hatred and spite. Yes. I will definitely enjoy breaking you. More, perhaps than you would like to acknowledge. But until then, let me weigh this on your conscience."

He turned sharply and thrust two tentacles through Ayame, ripping through major organs before pulling them from her. The she-wolf didn't even scream. Blood poured from her mouth as her eyes widened in shock, then dulled as her life left her. He looked back to Kagome and chuckled at her furious gaze. "Think on your actions, miko, or else I will take your daughter now rather than later."

She bit her tongue and silenced. He turned from her and began his trek back down to collect Kikyo and the innocent girl, Kagome with his hand still held tightly to his cheek as it finished healing. "Good girl. You learn fast."

Once he was out of hearing range, Kagome looked to her daughter who was weeping. "Shhh, sweet baby. It's all right. You aren't alone."

"He's going to kill us and he has my brother…"

"No, your brother is safe and is being taken care of some very trustworthy people, alright. It would take too much time to explain, Rin, but you must trust me. I am here to make sure you are safe."

"The shackles dampen your power, though. We can't possibly escape."

"They dampen my miko power, not the other power. The light I control. Naraku didn't realize I'd learn to control it so quickly. No doubt he has worked very long to control his own powers…"

"What powers?"

"For every kind of power, there is it's opposite. Mine is of light. His is of darkness. Light and darkness are not necessarily good or evil. But, because of their natures, they are in complete opposition. He can dampen my miko powers, but he cannot dampen the light. However, we will have to wait for the correct moment or else he will sense what is happening too soon and stop me before I can protect you. You must be calm."

She nodded and tried to fight back her tears. "What about Ayame?"

Kagome looked to the red headed she-wolf with a heavy heart and trembled. "I can't save her… There isn't time… Not enough time to save my daughter and my son… I'm sorry Rin… Ayame, I'm so sorry… I have to choose my children."

Rin trembled and closed her eyes to fight away the image of Ayame's broken body, but it followed her to the black of her hooded gaze. "Is… Kohaku dead?"

Kagome looked back to her daughter and smiled faintly, sadly. "No, he isn't, Rin. He's alive and, most likely approaching Naraku's castle with your father. It isn't going to be a perfect happy ending like the fairy tales I told you… But it will be all right. Trust me, Rin. Just trust me."

"I trust you, Momma… I trust you." She whispered, but did not open her eyes. She did not have the strength to open her eyes.

Can I just say… EWE. I always feel dirty after I write Naraku. He's so slimey. Bleh. I'm giving fair warning that the next two chapters will also be cliffhangers. I'm either pure evil or a slave to my art and it just so happens that, by the nature of the chapters and how I know they are going to work out, they will not leave much breathing room. I'm right in the middle of the big confrontation, so, yeah. Cliffhangers. OK. Hope you all enjoyed.

**Ivy**


	22. Chapter 22

**Ok, so this took me FOREVER. You'll figure out why, I'm sure, as you read. Let's just say I'm NEVER doing multiple versions of the same character again. EVER. Even if it works with the plot. I'm not really sure if I'm happy with this. I love you guys. That's why I didn't just trash the whole chapter to start from scratch and force you to wait another week. I might rewrite this when the whole story is over. Dunno. Peace.**

**Ivy **

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Not mine. Never will be.**_

**Retribution And Undying Pain**

_(From "Two Angels")_

_Two angels, one of Life and one of Death,_

_Passed o'er our village as the morning broke;_

_The dawn was on their faces, and beneath,_

_The sombre houses hearsed with plumes of smoke._

_Their attitude and aspect were the same,_

_Alike their features and their robes of white;_

_But one was crowned with amaranth, as with flame,_

_And one with asphodels, like flakes of light._

_I saw them pause on their celestial way;_

_Then said I, with deep fear and doubt oppressed,_

_"Beat not so loud, my heart, lest thou betray_

_The place where thy beloved are at rest!"_

_And he who wore the crown of asphodels,_

_Descending, at my door began to knock,_

_And my soul sank within me, as in wells_

_The waters sink before an earthquake's shock._

_I recognized the nameless agony,_

_The terror and the tremor and the pain,_

_That oft before had filled or haunted me,_

_And now returned with threefold strength again._

… … … … …

_Longfellow_

He had felt her break apart. He had felt the gentle pulse of love and apology. He had felt the terror of his son and mate as they were torn from each other. He had felt her power wane and weaken while her soul was still broken into three parts. Sesshomaru was enraged and nothing could console him but the blood of Naraku.

Inuyasha was the only one of the five who followed him who could keep up with the Taiyoukai's pace. Sesshomaru had intentionally kept to the ground in order to give Kouga and Sango time to gather his forces and circle around the castle fort from behind. The hanyou watched his brother cautiously out of the side of his gaze now and again, noting as the bloody light would flash in his eyes and his mouth would form into a snarl. It had to be Kagome. It was moments like those when he so obviously was sensing her turmoil that Inuyasha both envied and did not envy his brother. He was closer to her than anyone else and yet that closeness forced him to share her pain, sorrow, fear and loss. He did not know how Sesshomaru endured it. He wondered if he could have himself if… Many things had been different.

The Taiyoukai stopped dead in his tracks. His breath came in husky draws mingled with growls and pained sounds.

"What is it?" Inuyasha asked with his dark brows furrowed together. Miroku, Kohaku and Shippo, who had not been far behind them, caught up a moment later.

"He… Has my son." He said in a voice far too soft for them to believe that it came from Sesshomaru's lips.

"Kagome… Is she alive? I can't believe she'd allow him to…"

"She did. She had to." He replied simply. "He is safe, I am certain of it… As is she." He looked up to the shadowy silhouette of the castle fort Naraku inhabited that was just coming into view. "But that does not take from the fact that he touched my son."

"What did he do to her? She was months away from giving birth." Miroku said, concern lacing his voice. "Alone, if he accelerated her pregnancy, she would have died."

"I don't know. I don't know how he did it, but she's alive and our son is alive and… Safe." His frown faded faintly as he fell deeply into thought. "She isn't her…"

"What?" Inuyasha asked, his own frown deepening.

"Something Rin said. I feel… Almost as if Kagome has been split into three… I do not know how it is possible, but it feels as if it has happened. Rin said after her vision that you and I should know that she isn't her. There is more to this. More to Naraku's plan. We need to be ready, Inuyasha. Naraku wants to break us. He knows our weaknesses."

"So be ready for anything…"

"No. Particularly be ready for Kagome."

"For Kagome?" Shippo frowned and followed the Taiyoukai's gaze.

Sesshomaru nodded faintly. "She is following her instincts. Everything she has done and will do is to ensure that Rin and our son are safe. Even if it means sacrificing herself."

"Kouga should be coming around with your forces along with my sister, Sesshomaru." Kohaku said softly. "If we approach now, his forces will be split."

The Taiyoukai nodded and, without a word, returned to running toward the jagged outcropping of cliffs, jutting peaks and foreboding spires of rock upon which the castle fort was built. He could feel her in three different places. In one place was his son, sheltered by a fraction of her. And yet, it was not her. Nearby was another portion of his beloved. An older part. A part he had believed was long dead. He should stop and warn his brother, but there was not time. Inuyasha would have to be strong for his own self. When did he start to worry for the hanyou who, for so much of his life, had been the bane of his existence? When had he started to care? He would deal with these annoying and troublesome emotions later. For the moment, all his energy was focused on reaching the castle. He raised his eyes to a high cliff. With his keen eyes in the dawning light, he could see the outline of three crosses mounted at a tall vantage. That was where she was. Where his beloved was. The greater part of her that was entirely connected to him. He fought his instincts to race to the cliff first. No. Their son must be saved first. Kagome had sacrificed too much for him to lose control. Their son first. Her words echoed through his mind over and over.

Kikyo and the girl, Kagome, flanked Naraku as they walked to the gate of the castle. Both women could feel the approach of the Taiyoukai as the bond that was so completely forged between them was slackened. Kagome pulled the tiny baby boy tighter to her chest, cooing to him softly to calm him. He was fussing again and had been since Naraku had returned to lead them to the gate. It had caused the dark hanyou to snarl in distaste and mumble something about needing to remedy the child's perceptions in the future. Bile had risen in the girl's throat and she had held the boy even closer to her breast. Even at only an hour old, the baby knew who the bad guy was. Some part of that delighted Kagome, but it also worried her. The child had to survive and, from what Kikyo had told her of Naraku, the baby's perceptions could lead the ebony haired monster to a rather lasting and cruel decision as to the child's fate.

The group of men approached and she felt her heart stop for a moment. Her cobalt eyes fell on the tall, silver haired man with the crescent moon and magenta markings. His sword was drawn and his eyes fierce and bleeding red. She knew him. She trusted him, though she could not remember him. Even more, she loved him. She ached to run to him and be sheltered by him, as if he could defend her against the world with the power of his gaze. She caressed the child in her arm as he began to squall, cooing to him gently. She felt the golden gaze of the inuyoukai on her and she looked up. There was so much warmth in his eyes. So much love. She heard the soft stretch as Kikyo readied an arrow. Her eyes turned and fell on the miko as she aimed her arrow at the other golden-eyed warrior with ears that matched the child in her arms. His eyes looked so pained. So hurt. Haunted. She wanted to tell him it was all right. She wanted to tell him that he had to trust Kikyo and her self. That they meant them no harm. But she kept herself silent. She muted her voice and held her emotions in check as the evil man beside her, Naraku, spoke, tauntingly.

"What did you expect, great Western Taiyoukai? The mother of your son to run to you? Or you, bastard hanyou, that you could escape the vengeance of your lover? I would never leave her cold in the ground. Not when she wishes your death as much as I do. So what is your decision? Kill the women you love as they defend me or let yourself fall for their sake?"

She could hear the clash of swords on the other side of the cliff where she and her daughter were still crucified along side the dead Ayame. She could sense with her divine powers the threads of light connected to Sango, Kirara and Kouga as they approached. Her heart wrenched in her chest as she readied herself for their approach. _Kouga… Kouga, I'm so sorry…_ Her heart ached already with guilt.

He rushed over the crest of the cliff, his blue eyes wide. His nose was filled with the scent of blood. Kagome's blood. Ayame's blood. He couldn't have been prepared for what he saw. Any day before, had he been asked whom he would have run to first, he would have said Kagome. Saying it isn't doing it. Saying something isn't really believing it. There are things the soul wants and there are things the soul needs. It is only when faced with losing what is necessary that a person abandons desire. In a cloud of dust and a howl of rage, he rushed to the auburn haired angel he had saved and promised his heart to long before he had known she was what his heart needed to continue beating. He broke the shackles and pulled her into his arms, cradling her close to him.

"Ayame… Ayame, open your eyes… Look at me, please." He howled as agony ripped through his soul and he pulled her tighter to him, burying his face in her hair and shoulder. He rocked her and shook with tears. "I lied… I lied so many times to you and myself and everyone. I'm sorry. I want you to be mine. I need you. Ayame, please, Love. Please. You have to fight. You can't leave me."

Rin shook. She could not open her eyes. She could see the scene well enough. The strong warrior wolf was broken. He had lost his mate. Kagome watched and wept, trembling softly. She didn't want to leave them. She wanted to be there to comfort him. She wanted to help him, but she couldn't. Her eyes turned to Sango as she and Kirara landed on the cliff, her eyes also lost on the scene.

"Sango." Her voice was so soft. She began to draw light to herself so she could transport herself to where her son was. The slayer looked up and met her friend's gaze. "Free Rin. Tend Kouga. Protect them and bring me the shards when the battle has ended. I need to go to my son."

Sango nodded and watched as her friend drew more light into her form. Her mind fell back to the first time she'd seen Kagome. To the time when they were learning each other and becoming friends. She'd seemed so weak. So vulnerable. So innocent. She needed to be protected. And now… Now she was a goddess.

Sesshomaru snarled as the howl of Kouga ripped down from the cliff. Naraku laughed and sighed. "Looks like the wolf has found the gift I left for him."

"What did you do, Naraku?" Inuyasha asked through gritted teeth.

"I left him a gift, Inuyasha." Naraku said, feigning innocence. "I cannot help if he did not appreciate the thought. At least now he knows where his true heart laid."

"Naraku, you bastard…" Miroku choked out. "You bring nothing but pain and death and evil wherever you go."

"Compliments will get you nowhere, Miroku." Naraku chuckled and looked to Kikyo tenderly. Her arrow was still pointed at Inuyasha's heart. "You know, if you are going to kill him, you should kill him."

Kikyo smirked faintly. "Forgive me if I take my time. You see, I have to savor this. You tore me from Kagome's soul, rebirthed me in this living flesh and gave me a chance to end what was begun so long ago. Even before I was first resurrected. I want him to know that that part of me that was her, that was always her had guided her heart up until that moment. I used the last of my energy to ensure that one day, far in the future, I could come back and remedy the harm that had been done. And then I was there. Carried within a new form with a new spirit and I saw him and I knew… I knew that I had to finish what I'd began."

"Kikyo…" His voice wavered as he processed her words. She had ensured that she returned to him. She had wanted to finish. She had wanted an end. She had guided Kagome to that point.

"No, Inuyasha. Not Kikyo. Kikyo died ensuring you would live. She gave the last ounce of her energy so that the future she saw… The future where you were happy and safe would come true. I am not Kikyo. I am Kagome." The woman turned as the chocolate of her eyes flashed to pure azure. The arrow was released into an unprepared Naraku and the girl, Kagome, jumped back and toward Sesshomaru who stepped in front of her protectively.

A flash of pure white light blinded the now howling dark hanyou as he fought to draw his barrier around him and escape. He could not draw the power he needed. Something was stopping him. Then he realized it. The jewel was being purified within him. He turned and saw the bloodied, infuriated form of a woman approaching him. White light still clung to her in a halo of light. Her hand was outstretched, pouring white energy into his chest where he had placed the jewel. He snarled. "It is not possible!"

"You should know by now, Naraku, that there is not such a thing as impossibilities. Not where we are concerned." She said with venom in her voice. She formed her hand into a fist and pulled, ripping the large chunk of the Shikon no Tama from his chest and drew its pure form into her reach. It hovered in her open palms and shimmered with sparkling white and pink light. "In fact, the only thing we can't do is destroying each other. You murdered Ayame. You devoured her power and soul. I can't bring her back, no matter how much I want to, but I can do the next best thing. I can neutralize you so you may die."

Sesshomaru snarled and rushed forward with Inuyasha at his side. Seeing Kagome not only split in three but the greater part of her bloodied and harmed was enough to spur the brothers into a frenzy that Naraku was not and could never have been prepared for. Kohaku and Shippo took up protective stances near Kagome who held her son while Miroku took up attacking any golems who might come from behind. Into his view came the small form of a girl in white. In front of her she held her mirror. The black of it was the vast expanse of nothing that lived in her eyes.

"Kanna! Surrender! Naraku will fall. You will be free." The monk called out to her.

She tilted her head slightly and, in a voice completely void of emotion, she replied. "When Naraku falls, I will fall. Kagura and the others did not understand as I understand. I am nothing but his will. They were nothing but his will. Puppets. I have always accepted my fate. My purpose. I will no more surrender than Naraku will surrender." She passed her small hand over the black surface of her mirror. It began to seethe darkness and nothingness, drawing light and space in much in the same way Miroku did through his palm.

"No!" He cried out and opened his palm against the darkness that drew in, like black tentacles, everything around into nothingness. Miroku, in an instinctual reaction, attempted to draw in the blackness.

The elder miko turned from where her gaze had fallen onto Naraku, her arrow still jutting from his chest as he prepared for the next barrage from the warrior brothers. His shield was failing quickly and soon the dark hanyou would be ended, surely. It was the monk who needed her assistance now. She drew her arrow and focused all of her miko powers on an arrow of absorption at Kanna's mirror. The arrow released and struck, causing a fissure in the mirror, then another. Kanna trembled and looked as her mirror shattered in her hands, leaving her completely vulnerable to Miroku's attack. She looked up and, for the first time in her existence, the pale, black-eyed girl smiled as she was drawn into the vast blackness held in Miroku's palm.

The last vestiges of Naraku's barrier fell with the fierce blows of Sesshomaru and Inuyasha. The evil, dark hanyou stepped back and snarled, meeting the gazes of the brothers. "How could it have come to this? I had everything I needed…"

"Except a reason to fight." Inuyasha snarled as he readied his sword. The killing blow would come from the brothers simultaneously. Naraku was both the living hanyou sustained by thousands of youkai as well as the undead Onigumo whose tainted soul had begun the turmoil long before.

Naraku looked in disbelief as Sesshomaru's eyes softened. Still, it felt as if his power was growing. "You made a mistake, Naraku. You never should have threatened her. Neither Rin nor Kagome. It is your downfall."

The brothers raised their swords in tandem and released the powers of life and death onto the dark hanyou, rending him utterly from the earth. A pulse resonated from his vaporizing form and spread out, hitting everyone within range. It was not a pulse of malice or wrath. It was a release. It was the final severing of the dark hanyou's hold over the powers he had stolen, bartered for and cursed upon others in hatred and cruelty.

Miroku shuddered and opened his hand. His eyes widened and found the kazana was gone, leaving the smooth skin of his palm, his life line again long, deep and intact as it had been before his father's death. He looked back toward where the brothers had slaughtered the dark hanyou. Kagome, still covered in blood and fluids from giving birth, stood shakily several yards away. Sango was rushing to her and caught her before she fell. Rin was also approaching beside Kouga who carried the broken body of the dead Ayame tightly to his chest. His ice blue eyes were far away and broken as was certainly his heart.

Sesshomaru approached the fallen miko, his mate, sheathing Tesseiga, and knelt beside her, caressing her cheek. His eyes were full of concern.

"I'm alright… Weak, but alright."

"From what I see, you have reason to be." He murmured and leaned to kiss her brow where Sango cradled her. "You are split into three and have birthed our son."

She smiled faintly as she sensed the other two fractures of herself approached. The innocent girl smiled at her, holding her son tightly and protectively. Her eyes turned toward the elder miko as she approached and reached out gently to touch the baby boy, smoothing his face.

"We are ready, Kagome." She murmured, turning toward where the woman lay in her friend's arms. She took the baby from the innocent girl and returned him to his mother. She sighed and their mirrored eyes met. "We're ready to find our peace again."

"I'm sorry…" She whispered, feeling tears pool in her eyes. Both of the women began to glow with white as she started to reclaim the fractures of her soul.

"For what?" The girl asked and smiled warmly. "We're a part of you. We will always be a part of you."

The elder miko smiled and turned her gaze from Kagome to Inuyasha. He met her gaze with sadness and a kind of pain she wished she could erase. "You won't be alone forever, Inuyasha. I am not her, but you will find her in time. I knew that. I loved you enough to let you go. Love me enough to live and endure and to finally find happiness."

"How can you know this?" He asked softly, his heart breaking again. How many times could he see her die or fade away? He understood that she wasn't really gone, but he wondered if he could endure another parting from the first person who ever showed him love after his mother.

"Do you know why we are reincarnated, Inuyasha?" He shook his head and she smiled sadly. "So we will have the chance to learn the lessons we didn't in the previous lifetime. You have centuries of lifetime and I only had little less than two decades before I was given another life. Learn what took me two lifetimes to understand. Letting go doesn't mean that we lose. It means that we have been given the chance to hold something even better in our hearts. Even more true. Let me go, Inuyasha. Let Kagome go. We will always be with you, near you, next to your heart. And once you let us go, really allow yourself to release us, you will have another to hold even closer and she will be yours for eternity."

She looked back to the woman who held her child so protectively. A look of understanding passed between them as she felt herself drawn back into the protective embrace of Kagome's soul along with the innocent girl who stood nearby. Their once living forms became spinning pillars of glowing dust that quickly dispersed, leaving nothing in their wake but the flowing black fabric fluttering to the ground. Kagome trembled and stood with her beloved's help. He steadied her with his arm around her waist while her eyes fell on Kouga. His legs were bleeding where he now knelt with Ayame.

"I can't bring her back, Kouga. Naraku… He devoured her soul and spirit. Not even the complete jewel could bring her back from where he sent her."

"I know, Kagome." He whispered and met her eyes slowly. "She was mine. Mine to protect and I never did."

"She loved you until the end, Kouga. Had faith in you until the end. I wish I could give you more comfort than that."

He nodded faintly and looked back down onto the corpse in his arms. Rin stepped to his side and held out her hand, opening her palm to reveal Kouga's shards. Miroku approached and held out the shard still held in the vial they had protected so fiercely. Kagome trembled and turned, slipping the hanyou child into his father's arm. Sesshomaru tensed slightly, afraid he might drop the fragile child. His fear summoned his beast to wrap around him as well, supporting the baby further. Kagome smiled and watched his gaze soften when it fell on his son. When he opened his azure eyes, the unmovable Taiyoukai smiled gently and leaned to kiss his brow tenderly.

"My son. You have your mother's eyes." He breathed and leaned gently into his mate's touch. He turned his gaze from azure to azure. "I have him, Kagome. End your quest."

She nodded and turned, pulling the still fractured Shikon no Tama from the folds of her clothing. She put out her other hand for the final shards, which Rin and Miroku gave to her. Carefully she pieced the jewel together and closed her hands, praying to fuse its power entirely.

A sudden, staggering burst of power resonated from Kagome. She gasped and fell to her knees, opening her hands to release the energy the jewel had built as it was being purified. In the jewel's light, the form of a beautiful woman began to take shape. Kagome recognized her instantly and smiled as tears streamed down her face. She shuddered as she heard her beloved's voice whispered behind her.

"Miyoko… How… You are human…" He breathed in disbelief.

"Would it matter if I was, Sesshomaru?" She asked softly. Her voice was like music and entranced all around them. "I need you to find me. I need you to save me. You and Kagome. There isn't much time."

"How are you here, Miyoko?" Kagome asked softly in awe. "How are you connected to the jewel?"

"There are so many things I can't tell you. Things that will happen. Things that must happen. All I can tell you is that you must find me. The power that has been preserving me, protecting me, is waning and has been waning. Mother does not know. She will try to fight you back. She thinks she is doing what is right. Do not hate her, Sesshomaru. She has only ever done what she that was right for her children even if her heart was misguided. Father's betrayal turned her and twisted her so greatly she hardly knows true north any longer."

"Mother… She knows where you are?"

"Forgive her. You must. If I can, surely you will find a way… Please hurry. Find me. There is not much time." Her transparent form began to fade before them. He shuddered and pressed his eyes closed before she could completely vanish.

Kagome stood and turned to look at her love. His eyes were still pressed closed and, for a moment, she thought he looked more like the boy who had sacrificed himself for his sister than he ever had. She reached out and caressed his cheek, tracing his markings tenderly. His eyes opened slowly and met hers sadly. She smiled a sad smile in response. "We'll find her, Love. I promise you, we'll find her and save her."

He nodded and leaned to press his brow to hers, closing his eyes. "We will."


	23. Chapter 23

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Not mine. Never will be.**_

**The Leaves of Memory**

_(From "Haunted Houses")_

… … … … …

_The stranger at my fireside cannot see_

_The forms I see, nor hear the sounds I hear;_

_He but perceives what is; while unto me_

_All that has been is visible and clear._

… … … … …

_The spirit-world around this world of sense_

_Floats like an atmosphere, and everywhere_

_Wafts through these earthly mists and vapors dense_

_A vital breath of more ethereal air._

_Our little lives are kept in equipoise_

_By opposite attractions and desires;_

_The struggle of the instinct that enjoys,_

_And the more noble instinct that aspires._

… … … … …

_And as the moon from some dark gate of cloud_

_Throws o'er the sea a floating bridge of light,_

_Across whose trembling planks our fancies crowd_

_Into the realm of mystery and night,--_

_So from the world of spirits there descends_

_A bridge of light, connecting it with this,_

_O'er whose unsteady floor, that sways and bends,_

_Wander our thoughts above the dark abyss._

_Longfellow_

She sighed and sat back in the heated spring and allowed her muscles to relax finally. They had returned to the palace long enough for everyone to rest, recover and mourn. Kouga had refused to relinquish Ayame's body until he had cleaned her and wrapped her in silks. She was taken and prepared for cremation while the wolf youkai returned to his room. Kagome had never seen him so lost and utterly without purpose.

"I wish that I could help him." She murmured and sighed as her mate gently pulled her into his lap. She curled against him and melted a bit more. "I wish there was a way."

"He is a wolf, Kagome. They mate for life."

"But he never claimed her and really mated himself to her." She replied and sighed as he worked his fingers through her hair, beginning to wash it.

"Perhaps not physically, but his heart had as mine had from the evening that you experienced my memories." He murmured and looked down as her fingertips touched where his arm had been. "Does it bother you?" He asked with worry in his voice.

She smiled and looked up to meet his eyes, her own sparkling with love. "No, not at all… But I wonder… If with the jewel, I could return it to you."

"Love, we know that you cannot heal youkai with your miko powers. It is a miracle that you are even able to carry my children." He said, fighting back the flickers of hope that were touching his mind.

"But the jewel is the culmination of both powers. Youkai and miko. Perhaps it could help me regenerate your arm."

"We need to find Miyoko, Love." He said. His voice was full of apprehension and worry.

She frowned and looked up, meeting his gaze. "You're afraid, aren't you?"

"I… I am not afraid."

"You are. You're afraid that if you hope too much, you're going to be disappointed. You know that we need a few days to recuperate before we can even begin to think about confronting your mother about your sister. I've almost regained most of my power. There's enough time to try. The only reason you might be hesitant is because you're afraid that you will be let down."

"Kagome…" He sighed and shook his head faintly. "In the room adjacent to this our son sleeps cleaned and fed and peaceful, free of fear of Naraku for the rest of his life. Rin is safe and recuperating and under Sango's care. Miroku has had his curse lifted. My mate is in my arms, healthy and in one piece and the jewel is protected. I am so at peace now, the only thing that could make me any happier would be to have my sister back in my life, and Kami be kind, in a few days that might be true. I do not want to test my luck and karma by having you regenerate my arm which I lost to my own carelessness."

"Because you are afraid." She breathed, her eyes dancing faintly with light.

He sighed and shook his head, smiling crookedly. "Because I do not deserve this much happiness. I am not a good man, Kagome. My soul is as black as yours is full of light."

"That isn't true." She whispered and captured his lips, kissing him deeply. His arm tightened around her hips, pulling her closer. She pulled away and kissed along his jaw, clinging to him tightly. "You love me. You love our son and you love Rin and Miyoko. If you were so evil, you couldn't love so deeply."

"I have nearly killed you and my brother several times… And… I feel guilty for it and for the state it seems my sister is in. I do not know why my mother took her from me, but it is my place to protect her. It has always been and she… She is human."

She frowned deeply and pulled back, meeting his eyes. "What's wrong with being human?"

He sighed and shook his head. "There is nothing wrong with being human, it is simply not what she is. It is not what I am. Or Inuyasha. We are youkai. He is hanyou. Our son is hanyou, which, by the way, we need to name him."

"You're diverting me."

"I am trying to."

"You should know by now that I'm way too single minded for that, Love. So tell me… How does being human change who Miyoko is? If I were youkai, would it make me better or less than who I am now?"

"He needs a name."

"Answer me."

He growled faintly and looked away from her. "It would make things easier."

She slipped off his lap and he looked up in disbelief. "I can't believe you just said that." She murmured, slipping to the other side of the spring.

He studied her and, for a moment, resembled more a scolded puppy than a man. "Kagome… I only mean that our lives, the acceptance of our son, would be an easier matter. Not that I would prefer you as a youkai."

"But would it matter? Would it matter what I was at all? Would I be less or more or the same?" She asked. Her voice was chilly but hurt.

He sighed and moved across to her, caressing her cheek. She looked away. "You would still be my Kagome. I would still love you. I wouldn't care and it wouldn't have mattered and it wouldn't matter… But if you were not human… If you were not a miko, you couldn't have shared my memories through your power. I would still be alone no matter how much we loved each other. In that respect, I would not want you to be other than human."

"Then why should it matter how we find Miyoko?" She asked as she looked up and met his deep amber pools. She reached out and traced his markings tenderly. "Why does it bother you?"

He smirked and leaned to kiss her gently, smiling as she returned his kiss and slipped her arms around him. He pulled her into his lap again, caressing her tenderly. "You are a vision of innocence until you play such devious games, pretty mate… And it only bothers me because I fear losing her. I cannot take her into eternity the way I can you."

She smiled sadly and nodded, curling tighter against him, caressing his chest. "I want to name him Sesshomaru." She breathed and heard the low rumble of amusement in his chest.

"Do you not think that it will be confusing?" He asked with mirth in his voice.

"No. Not in the slightest." She replied and hugged him, kissing his neck.

"You realize that it will be the third generation to carry the name as he will be the third generation to be Western Taiyoukai."

She nodded. "I think it is fitting."

"Then he will be called Sesshomaru." He smiled softly and kissed the crown of her head. After several moments of heavy silence he caressed her arm. "You aren't going to give up, are you, pretty mate?"

"Not until you let me try, Love." She murmured and laughed as he tickled her side a little. She looked up and met his eyes. "Please… You might not think you deserve it. You might think it will eat up all your karma, but we both know it doesn't work like that. Please, let me try."

He sighed heavily and growled. "I will let you try. But only once. If you fail, you must let go of your folly, do you understand? And it will not be spoken of. I have worked for years to prove that I am as strong without my arm as I ever was with it."

"So serious."

"It is serious business."

"I know, but you also know that I am nearly always anything but serious." She said and smiled, looking up at him with victorious eyes.

"Do not be so proud of yourself, Kagome." He said, fighting a smile.

"I have every reason to be proud of myself, Sesshou. Do you want a list of the reasons?"

"What about the main reason?" He replied, nipping her lips.

"I'm happy." She whispered and found amusement in the confusion in his eyes. "I have been happy to a point before, but this is the first time in a very long time that there isn't anything that's so terrible I felt helpless. I am worried about Kouga and am mourning Ayame and Miyoko is heavy on my mind, but there will always be things like that. It's life. But taken on a whole, all of the good outweighs the bad and I'm happy. I'm a peace. And I'm proud that I can say that, for the first time in years, I'm not afraid of what will come. I'm looking forward to it, whatever it is."

He smiled and rested his brow against hers, allowing their auras to flare and blend. "Let's finish bathing and you may try your little experiment. Afterward, I would like to join our son in his nap along with his mother. Our bed is far too cold without us."

"Poor bed."

"Yes, pity the bed." He chuckled and kissed her before returning to washing.

Once they had finished and had dressed, he led her back into their rooms where, on the bed, their infant son was wrapped in the warm and protective embrace of Mokomokosama. The tiny hanyou was dressed in his father's colors and wrapped in a soft blanket. Tiny snores could be heard from where he was nestled in the furry extension of his father's beast. On his brow was the faint magenta star that had formed once Sesshomaru had claimed him. Had Inu no Taisho lived; he would have done the same for Inuyasha, curtailing his son's beast without the need for Tessaiga. By placing the mark of family on his son and blending a portion of his aura with his son, he had ensured that the boy never needed to fear his own beast and the damage a loss of control could mean. Kagome reached out to where her son slept and caressed his cheek before retrieving the Shikon no Tama from beside the slumbering infant. His aura was a blending of sacred miko power, youkai energy and the divine white power that Kagome possessed and so did not threaten the jewel's purity. In fact, the child ensured it.

She sat beside her mate and pushed back his haori that was only partially pulled together after their bath to expose his shoulder and where his arm should have been. She caressed the stump and felt him tremble faintly before he looked away. She sighed and held the jewel in one hand as she began to channel her healing power through it and back to her hand where she touched his naked skin. Her hand felt on fire, but she fought to ignore the pain as she noticed the beginnings of his regeneration. He growled, sensing her pain, but did not try to stop her as he felt flesh begin to replace the phantom limb he had possessed since his arm had been taken from him. She pressed her eyes closed and continued to channel energy until she was completely drained. As she fell back, she felt herself caught by Sesshomaru. He pulled her into his arms, caressing her face fervently while his right arm cradled her. She opened her eyes half way and smiled, meeting his eyes and taking his newly regenerated hand with her own, kissing each finger and finally his palm fervently.

"Don't think it was such a waste of time…" She murmured and sighed as he leaned and kissed her deeply before pulling her further onto the bed. He curled around behind her after nestling her beside their son who she curled around as well. Mokomokosama uncurled from the infant so his mother could pull him against her. The child woke and cooed, curling his fingers into her ebony strands that fell in reach of his tiny hands. Kagome smiled as both of her lover's arms wrapped around her tightly.

"I love you." He breathed and held them both tightly as he felt her relax and begin to fade into sleep.

"Love you…" She breathed, drifting off to sleep. He smiled and breathed both his son and mate in deeply.

Further away, down several corridors, Rin had finally drifted off into a peaceful slumber. Kaede sat near her bed beside Sango. She gently gripped the young woman's hand. "I can watch her, child. Go and find Miroku."

"Kaede, I'm fine, really."

"Ye know that he was afraid, do ye not? Afraid that Naraku would not be defeated and ye would be damned to watch any child he gave to ye die, as its father would be doomed to. He loves ye, Sango."

Sango smiled sadly. "You've been watching us rather closely, Kaede."

"What else am I to do? I am an old woman, Sango. I have little else to do but watch those younger than me and meddle in their affairs. Give an old woman her joys."

"I know he loves me. I know he wants me and to be with me, but… Kaede…"

"Ye were certain and now ye are afraid. Your courage was sapped in the battle with Naraku."

"Essentially."

"Do ye love him, Sango?"

She smiled faintly. "He's my whole heart." She murmured, echoing her words that she had said to Sesshomaru as Miroku had been dying in her arms. "I can't imagine a single moment without him in my heart, let alone a lifetime."

"Then your fear does not matter. It will pass when ye finally give in to your heart. When ye give in to him."

She sighed and leaned her head against Kaede's shoulder. The ancient miko smiled. "How did you get so wise?"

"I am very old, after all… But also, there are things ye do not know. Kami did not bless me with a family, but for one beautiful, brief summer, I understood love and knew it well. Sometime, after ye have found your way with Miroku, I will tell ye the story. But for now, child, there is a very lonely monk waiting for ye in your chambers."

Sango nodded and smiled. She stood and looked back to Kaede. "Thank you… For everything."

Kaede smiled and nodded and watched as the young woman left Rin's chambers and walked to her own room.

Sango slid open the door to her room to find Miroku standing by the window looking out on the gardens. He had discarded his prayer beads and staff nearby and his hands were resting on the sill. He smiled but did not look back to where he knew Sango was standing. "I was wondering when you would come back."

She smiled and walked toward him, joining him at the window. He slipped his arm around her waist and relaxed as he felt her lean into his embrace. "What happens now?" She asked softly and felt his grip tighten.

"I was considering that we get started on that child I kept asking you to carry… But then I thought perhaps you would want to wait until we were properly wed."

She laughed and shook her head, then met his deep indigo eyes. "You never change."

"You wouldn't ever want me to." He smiled wickedly and leaned to capture her lips, kissing her deeply. She wrapped her arms around him and pressed into his embrace. Slowly he drew back and held her tightly against him, whispering into her ear. "I want this to be right for you. For us. We've both lost so much. We risk losing more."

"You sound as terrified as I am."

"I think I am." He breathed and pressed his lips into her neck gently.

She turned her head and kissed his cheek gently, then found his lips and kissed him tenderly. "I can't remember when I fell in love with you. It feels like I always have… And always will. Maybe that's why we're both so afraid. We have so much to lose… We could wait to be wed, but… Miroku, the vows would be the rest of the world. We're already one."

He chuckled and swept her up into his arms, carrying her to the bed. She blushed deeply and met his gaze, caressing his jaw. "What do you see?" He asked, standing beside the bed, holding her tighter in his arms.

"Forever… Promise me, Miroku… That we'll always find each other from one lifetime to the next."

"That's a very large promise."

She blushed and brushed her lips across his. "We helped to destroy Naraku. You survived a curse and I survived watching my whole family taken from me. Kohaku was returned to me, but we can never know for how long. If we can survive all of that… If we can manage to hold on to each other in the face of all of that… How daunting is finding each other again from one lifetime to the next?"

He laughed and laid her back onto the bed, slipping beside her as he began to undress her slowly. "You have a point…" He met her eyes and pressed his brow to hers. "I promise you, Sango, that every lifetime from this until we both reach nirvana, that I will find you and love you and remain by your side until death takes us."

"There could be no better vow." She whispered, and then sighed as he kissed her deeply. She returned his kiss as readily and in anticipation of everything that was to come.

He walked into the garden. His blue eyes were haunted and lost. He had never felt so alone. He perched onto a stone bench and cradled his face in his hands. He smelt the hanyou as he approached. "I don't want comfort."

"Keh." He crouched in front of Kouga and smirked when the wolf raised his eyes from his hands, meeting Inuyasha's gaze. "Too bad, you're getting it."

"What do you want, mutt? You getting some sick kick out of this?"

"Kouga, just stop a minute and listen to me. I ain't happy you're hurting. I ain't feeling sorry for you either. But… Out of everybody in this whole damned place, I probably understand what you're going through the best."

"How do you figure?"

"You're smarter than that, Kouga." He replied and stood only to sit next to the wolf. He looked up toward the palace. "Naraku took someone from both of us. Kagome's so damned full of hope. She's all light and joy and… She can't understand. When you lose someone in such a terrible way, part of you dies forever. I can't tell you that it's gonna get better, cause it sure as hell hasn't for me… But you ain't alone, Kouga. You ain't by yourself with this pain." He turned and smirked as he saw the befuddled look on the wolf's face. "We ain't ever been very good friends, I know. Most of the time we try to kill each other before we think about why… Kagome ain't there to fight over now. Not for either of us. We might never be friends, but we can at least watch each other's backs now."

"When did you grow up, Inuyasha?" Kouga asked softly, smiling faintly.

"When did you?" The brash hanyou asked, receiving a full smile from the wolf youkai.

He looked away and shook his head. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Their swords clashed with a violent clang where steel met steel. Even a couple of heads shorter than him, Kohaku was holding his own against Shippo as they battled. It was supposed to be practice. They kept telling themselves that it was supposed to be practice. However, as swords continue to come together sharply again and again, they knew very well that they were not practicing. If one of them did not yield soon, someone was going to get hurt.

Kohaku jumped back and flipped away, readying himself for the kitsune to strike. Shippo held back, studying his opponent, beginning to circle him. "Come on. You getting tired of rushing me or something?"

Shippo smiled faintly. He wasn't using any of his tricks on the boy. Only a few months before, they had been playmates. Kohaku knew all of his tricks and how to evade them if necessary. So the kitsune used the new skills Inuyasha and Sesshomaru had taught him with the sword. One of them was patience. Patience and study. The boy was taught to hunt youkai. Taught to kill them. Shippo would not make it that easy for him.

Not when whom they were fighting over was Rin. It had begun as practice and then Kohaku had made his statement that, once he and Rin were old enough, they would go to live in the slayers town and rebuild it with Miroku and Sango and their children. Shippo hadn't taken it well and, with one misplaced cut along the boy's arm, had put the whole sparing match into question.

After a moment, Shippo found his opening and, with the speed of the nine tailed power he wielded, he slipped behind the boy and hit his back with the flat of his blade, causing Kohaku to fall and drop his sword. Shippo smirked and sheathed his weapon. "Actually, I'm very tired of this game."

Kohaku sneered and picked up his sword only to sheath it as well. He didn't look back at Shippo. Bile was rising in his throat. "She isn't yours, you know."

"She isn't yours either. You shouldn't be making plans for her before she's even old enough to decide to leave her father."

Kohaku smirked and turned his cocksure gaze onto Shippo. The years had changed him. They had made him stronger and his grief had made him colder. Along side Sesshomaru, the boy had learned the meaning of self-restraint and, in many ways, resembled the Taiyoukai on an emotional and spiritual level. "She loves me."

Shippo winced and scowled. "She's too young to know what love is. You know that as well as I do."

"Time will settle that."

"A lot of things will settle that. Don't think I'm folding just because you say you think she loves you."

"You're going against your nature, Shippo." Kohaku said as his features became grave. "Kitsune don't mate for life. She deserves someone who can love her for the rest of her life. You'll hurt her."

"I won't hurt her." He said through gritted teeth. "And you don't know me at all."

"But I know what you are. We all know what you are. Even she does. It isn't bad or wrong or evil, Shippo. But what you keep saying you want isn't who you are. It isn't in your nature. She could easily be your companion and friend, but to be devoted as a mate and lover to her is beyond your capabilities. Your nature will endanger her happiness. And you fighting your nature will make you bitter if you try and that will make her unhappy. Can't you see past your short sighted needs to understand that?"

He snarled and ran his fingers through his unruly curls. "Just shut up. The fact is, you shouldn't choose for her. Neither should I. If she wants you, I won't stop her, but you shouldn't try to stop her if she wants me in time."

Kohaku frowned deeply. "You don't give up."

"Inuyasha and Kagome helped raise me." He replied in a faintly amused tone. "I come by it honestly."

The boy shook his head and watched as the kitsune shifted and ran off into the wooded area of the palace, no doubt to leave and run the forests for a while. Kohaku looked back toward the palace and sighed. Time would tell what might happen. Patience would ensure his desires would come true.

Her eyes fell on the water where the sun was falling down. In the middle of the lagoon, salt and fresh waters churned and created a visible barrier on the glassy surface of the water, colored from its normal blue and green with the orange light from the ebbing day.

Slowly she walked out into the water, her clothing having been shed on the bank a few steps behind. She knelt in the fresh water and sighed in pleasure. Her time was coming to an end and she could think of no more beautiful end than looking out over the ocean at sunset.

Enju smiled and whispered to the sea. "From earth I was melded and reborn and to the earth I will return. The ocean will take me out and further into places I never saw in life or unlife. Kikyo, I know you are at peace now. Even in your end, I wondered what became of you. It was the fear of what might happen to me that held me back and allowed me to continue taking souls in order to survive. But I do not want to survive any longer. I want to live. The only way to do so is to let go of this existence and move on. I do not know what will become of me, but I know that Kami will mold me and reshape me and I will have what I always craved. Life. My own. And a place I can once again belong. I will not say goodbye, for there is no one to say goodbye to not already gone. And from here I can be near those who spared me even though I caused such harm. I will pray for their peace."

She sighed and freed her soul from her clay form. As her soul departed from her quickly disintegrating body, her eyes held the vision of the sun setting over the water and the line between the ocean and the river where two worlds danced like lovers in the waning light.


	24. Chapter 24

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Not mine. Never will be. Unfortunately.**_

**Who Nevermore Would Come Again**

_(From "Resignation")_

… … … … …

_Let us be patient! These severe afflictions_

_Not from the ground arise,_

_But oftentimes celestial benedictions_

_Assume this dark disguise._

_We see but dimly through the mists and vapors;_

_Amid these earthly damps_

_What seem to us but sad, funeral tapers_

_May be heaven's distant lamps._

_There is no Death! What seems so is transition;_

_This life of mortal breath_

_Is but a suburb of the life elysian,_

_Whose portal we call Death._

… … … … …

_Not as a child shall we again behold her;_

_For when with raptures wild_

_In our embraces we again enfold her,_

_She will not be a child;_

_But a fair maiden, in her Father's mansion,_

_Clothed with celestial grace;_

_And beautiful with all the soul's expansion_

_Shall we behold her face._

_And though at times impetuous with emotion_

_And anguish long suppressed,_

_The swelling heart heaves moaning like the ocean,_

_That cannot be at rest,--_

_We will be patient, and assuage the feeling_

_We may not wholly stay;_

_By silence sanctifying, not concealing,_

_The grief that must have way._

_Longfellow_

"We will go and return once we have secured Miyoko." His voice was sure and stern. He did not have the strength currently to argue his point any further with his brother. Not while his son was curled in his arms, snuggled tightly into his chest and cooing. Kagome was perched on his desk, smiling at the sight. Didn't she realize how ineffectual he was when she was near and smiling and their son was cooing? Of course she did. She wanted Inuyasha to come. What was her reasoning again? Miyoko is his sister as well? That was why she had slipped into his study while he was speaking with Kouga and Inuyasha of the plans to approach Satori about his sister on his own. Then Kagome had demanded to be brought a long with their son, hoping to play on the sympathy of his mother no matter how many times he attempted to explain that Satori could not be swayed with infants and pretty mates who love her son. Kouga was currently also attempting to secure his place in the journey. No. Not the wolf. Not only was he in mourning, but also Kouga had an annoying habit of causing Sesshomaru to lose his temper at the slightest spark of insurrection. Certainly not the wolf.

"Love…"

"No more argument, Kagome." He said, raising his voice slightly, which caused his son to startle and whimper. He frowned and looked down at his scrunched face and caressed his cheek. "Shhhh, your mother is being unreasonable. I must keep some level of dignity, my son. Certainly you might stand beside me in this." He fussed more, his wide azure eyes focused on his father as he fretted. There were moments, fleeting moments that Sesshomaru wished that he could hide himself and his emotions from his son, however the fissure of his bond with his mate fixed to his son's aura ensured that he could not without distressing the child. It also ensured that he had to keep his temper. He sighed and shook his head, calming himself until the tiny hanyou calmed and returned to cooing. He raised his brow and looked to his mate. "I will blame you for this."

She smiled and leaned to kiss him gently. "I take the blame happily."

"Take our son and go. You have bent me to your will in this." He murmured and laid the silver haired boy in his mother's arms. The little Sesshomaru squealed and reached up for his mother's ebony tresses, gripping a long curl that dangled near his fingertips. Her mate chuckled and she sighed. "It is my revenge."

"I love you too." She murmured with laughter in her voice and then turned to the door after placing one more kiss on her lover's lips.

He looked up and caught the amused looks on Inuyasha and Kouga's faces. He stood and snarled faintly. "What is so amusing?"

"If I knew a few years back that all I needed to kick your ass was a baby and one of Kagome's kisses…"

"Silence yourself before you say something that you will regret, brother." He said with faint venom, but also amusement in his voice.

"You should have known at least about the kid part, Inuyasha." Kouga said, fighting back his mirth. "Old dog always goes belly up for kids."

Sesshomaru sighed and snarled faintly. He ran his fingers through his hair and smirked. "She returns me my arm and yet I lose my dignity."

"Fair trade?" The hanyou asked, fighting back his laughter.

The Taiyoukai raised a brow and me this brother's eyes, gold for gold. "Considering everything else I have gained through the trade?" He looked at his newly regenerated hand and smiled faintly as he remembered his beloved's lips on each digit and then pressed reverently to his palm. "I believe it was."

Inuyasha and Kouga felt a pang go through them. Inuyasha for what he would never know with Kagome and Kouga for what he never had with Ayame. The hanyou smirked faintly and leaned against his brother's desk. "So it will be you and me and Kouga and Kagome and little Sess. Are you sure you can't convince her to stay with your son? From what you told me about Satori, this might not be the safest journey."

Sesshomaru let out his breath in a hiss as he sat back down at his desk. "I am not arguing with her."

"It's one thing to have her make you listen to reason, but it's another thing entirely to back off and be wupped in this." Kouga snarled, earning a rather dangerous look from the Taiyoukai.

"I am not completely a dog to her will, wolf. Her reasoning is sound no matter how we dislike it. Satori never hated humanity. She once told me that she did not care who I loved or who my sister loved so long as we were happy. It was Inu no Taisho who insisted we mate other inuyoukai, no matter how absurd that seems now. When we were younger, before he disowned me, he took delight in seeking out the purest blooded inuyoukai in the hope that he could make a match for Miyoko and me. Though my father was devoted to humanity, it was only after Satori left him that he turned to them for comfort and eventually to sire a new heir. With any luck, Satori will see my mate and son and know I am happy. She might even yield Miyoko's whereabouts without a fight. Also, if Miyoko is human, Kagome might be able to save her. Heal her. As much as I do not want my family in danger, Kagome is correct. She knew she was correct or she never would have attempted to coerce me in such an… Unfair and rather devious manner."

"You don't sound completely sure about that." Kouga said, frowning faintly. "The kid… It would kill her if he was harmed."

"It would kill us both." He replied frankly. "Inuyoukai are nothing if not devoted to their mates and pups. My son and my mate are my world. Do not think for a moment that I do not know what I am risking."

Inuyasha frowned suddenly. "Sesshomaru… If that's true, then why…"

"I don't know why he did it, Inuyasha. Why do you think I hated you for so long? Why do you think I still hate my own mother and father? For a long while, I only blamed Satori for abandoning us until Inu no Taisho took your mother as a mate and sired you. Whatever happened between them forced them apart so completely that they abandoned their own natures and instincts. It is part of the reason I wish to speak to my mother and not fight her. There are questions I believe you and I and Miyoko will have that only she can answer and she can only do that if she is alive." He looked down at his new hand and smirked. "The fact is, if she presses us to fight, I will be the only one of us who can stand against her. The two of you I will charge with the safety of my son and mate. If it looks as if Satori might attack Kagome and our son, no matter what you must flee with her. I do not care how you get her out, but you must."

"She can take care of herself… She fought against Naraku and helped us win." Inuyasha pointed out, studying his brother.

"Naraku is not Satori. The two are entirely different in how they approach battle. Satori does not give any hint of her actions before she takes them. She is cooler and more collected than even I am. I cannot even begin to guess what her reaction to us will be and I cannot risk losing my mate and our son. As my Beta and Omega, both of you are loyal and devoted to my will. This is my will. We will leave at dusk today. Satori's palace is a day's travel to the South and so we will arrive in the evening. Ensure you are both prepared." He stood again and nodded to them and was almost to the door before Inuyasha's voice stopped him.

"If everything goes wrong… Who will take care of your lands?"

Sesshomaru smirked and turned to meet Inuyasha's gaze. Their golden eyes met and an understanding passed between them again. It was the understanding of blood. The understanding of two men, two brothers who loved the same woman hopelessly, to ageless entities born from the same fire and bone but destined to two separate fates. "You will until my son is of age. You will care for my mate and find a way to make her happy. You will ensure my son does not forget me. You will give him my sword and teach him what it means to be a man and a warrior." The flash of disbelief amused the Western Taiyoukai beyond words as it passed through his brother's eyes. "But only if everything goes wrong and I promise you, I have no intention of dying yet."

Once he had gone, the stunned Inuyasha and amused Kouga went about making preparations for their journey to Satori's palace. Sesshomaru walked to his chambers where he knew his mate had gone with their son. He found her sitting in the doorway on a cushion looking out over the gardens with his son curled in her lap with his head resting on one knee and his body cradled by her legs. She was caressing his ears and face gently as he snoozed with the glossy ebony braid that had been cut so cruelly from his mother's head what seemed to Sesshomaru a lifetime before. He smiled and sat beside her, caressing her shoulder. "An odd poppet for a boy."

"An odd keepsake for his father to keep hidden under his pillow." She replied softly and smiled, leaning against him as he slipped to sit behind her. "When are we leaving?"

"At dusk. We will need to ensure he is wrapped up and warm for the journey." He kissed the juncture of her neck and shoulder fervently, nipping there gently. He smiled as he felt her tremble against him. "I will have Jaken make AhUn ready for our departure."

"We'll find her, Love." She murmured and leaned into his nips as they continued along her neck. He reached forward and opened her kimono enough to reveal the soft skin of her shoulder and the beginning of the rise of her breasts. The fabric was already loosened. No doubt she had fed their son before he had arrived and had not yet completely returned the folds of silk to their proper place. He traced his claws along her skin and beneath the silk, gripping her breast as he nipped her ear. She shuddered and blushed deeply. "I think you missed me…"

"I always miss you." He murmured and kissed along her jaw until she turned so he could capture her lips in a deep and passionate kiss. Slowly he pulled away, receiving a whimper from his mate. "We should lay him on the bed with my beast, Love." He whispered huskily, kissing her again deeply.

"Yes…" She whispered once he pulled away again and blushed as he saw the smile that graced his lips. Slowly she stood, cradling her son in her arms as her love placed mokomokosama on the bed. Once it had curled into a small bed for the tiny boy, Kagome laid him into the furry, warm cushion and kissed his brow.

Sesshomaru reached down to take the silken braid from his son, but stopped himself. "It smells of you… It comforts him."

Kagome blushed and slipped her arms around his waist, clinging to her mate. "Is that why you kept it?"

He nodded and wrapped his arms around her as he began to guide her to the wall across the room from their bed, kissing her passionately as he pressed her against its secure strength. She had healed with his vitality by the time they had reached the palace, much to their delight. Healers had checked her wellbeing and found her well enough not to need any bed rest. He gripped her hips and lifted her up before pressing himself against her. She released her obi and wrapped her legs around his hips as the silk of her kimono fell in a flood to her sides and open as her lover pressed to her. "I want you, but I do not want to hurt you." He whispered, kissing the still present markings at her throat.

She shuddered and ran her fingers through his hair as his hands gripped more tightly at her hips. "I'm alright… Kami knows how, but I'm alright. I miss you, Sesshou…" She whispered, arching her throat into his more urgent kisses and nips along her throat.

He needed no more encouragement. He reached down and freed himself, then thrust slowly into his ready mate, capturing her lips in a loving, heated kiss as a sharp, musical sound escaped her throat at his welcome presence within. His arm, so newly regenerated, slipped up into her hair at the nape of her neck and gripped gently as his other hand held surely at the small of her back as he began a slow, deep rhythm within her. He deepened their kiss to quiet the soft sounds issuing between them and reveled how easily she embraced around him entirely, even along their bond.

As they climaxed together and spun in the power of their sudden bliss and complete union, he delighted in his complete embrace of his mate and how his arms could so fully encompass her slight and slender form he was still pressed against and within. He kissed her closed eyes and then her lips, shuddering softly at the sharp gasps still staggering into their kisses. Her throbbing, heated embrace still claiming him, her limbs still entwined about him, he found his will completely lost. He had no desire to pull away from her and so did not, taking up the same rhythm after a moment of rest and peace. It was only after a few more spiraling climaxes that he could even contemplate pulling from her and releasing her from their union, though he wondered as he pulled from her and heard the aching, whispered cry as his absence replaced his presence within whether he should have remained for a few more couplings.

She leaned against him and felt relief as his strong arms held her fast against him. Her legs would not allow her to stand and her whole body felt as weak and fluttering as the silk at her sides. She moaned softly as he captured her again in an overwhelming kiss and clutched to the silken collar of his haori before he swept her up into his arms and walked with her to the housed springs adjacent to their chambers for a bath. He undressed them and then slipped into the heated water with her, cradling her against his chest. "You make me so weak…" She whispered and felt the rumble of his laughter in his chest before he began to kiss her neck and throat again. She felt herself melt beneath his lips and touch. She wondered if there ever would be a moment or reason important enough that she would say no to him. But then, she never wanted to say no.

He began to bathe her as he kissed her naked skin and found himself smiling as she bathed him in turn. She had to know how much strength she gave to him simply by being beside him. Surely she knew. Surely she understood he would be nothing without her… But did she know? How could she know if he never said the words? He turned her slowly so that her legs were slipped onto either side of his hips. He kissed her tenderly and met her deep sapphire eyes with his own amber gaze. He caressed her face and ran his fingers through her hair, studying her.

She trembled and blushed a bit more deeply, the flush of their lovemaking entirely evident in the whole of her countenance. "What do you see?" She breathed, resting her palms flat against his chest.

"My whole world. My whole future. Everything I ever wanted." He murmured and leaned to press his brow to hers. Their aura flared and he shuddered as he felt her slip onto him, mounting him slowly, sending jolts through him. He clutched her back and his claws cut into her fragile skin, but only slightly. "My Kagome…" He gasped, brushing his lips against hers, groaning softly as her fingers scraped along his scalp.

"Everything?" She asked, shuddering and sighing as she gently rocked her hips against his in a slow and churning rhythm. "I'm not a sword or your power… Or your lands or alliances… I am your mate… Your Love…"

"My strength." He gasped, trying fruitlessly to claim her lips in a kiss, but could not. She pulled away enough to meet his gaze. She did not stop in her slow, overwhelming rhythm, but her eyes; her beautiful eyes shimmered and shone as they took him in.

"Sesshou…" She breathed, tracing the lines at his cheeks and along his chest, leaning to nip at his lips teasingly. "Am I that?"

Her heated breath against his lips was almost torture to him. "You are… My strength… Without you I would have nothing." He whispered and kissed her lightly, then deeply when she did not pull away. He clung to her as she continued, driving him closer to bliss. She pulled back just far enough that she could watch him as she drove him to climax as he so often watched her as he took her. He felt helpless under her eyes and completely prone, but he did not flinch. He ached for her to see him in the way he had ached for so many years to be understood. He needed her so deeply that his need became caught up in his desires. She was his breath. His heartbeat. Until she had learned him, seen him, loved him, he realized how trapped, encased and overwhelmed he had always been. She made him free and strong and so terribly afraid of losing her. But it was that fear that made him strong. It was that fear which made him greater than his father.

They climaxed together and, with hooded eyes, took each other in and shared caresses and fervent kisses. They slipped into each other's arms and held on tightly, as if letting go would sever them from each other entirely.

"Beautiful Sesshomaru…" She breathed and smiled as he clung to her more tightly. She pressed her lips to his neck and kissed him gently. "I will never leave you. I promise I won't ever leave you."

He pressed his eyes closed and tightened his embrace. He felt some of his fear fade. The fear that she would leave him as Satori had left his father ebbed and crumbled. He trusted her. He knew that she would not abandon him. For, as completely as she was woven and built into his soul, he was a part of her. "I trust you." He whispered into her hair. "I love you forever… And I know you will never leave me."

Such certainty is not known by everyone everywhere. It is like a fine and perfect jewel coveted by even the most fortunate and powerful. Such certainty, when lost, is crippling and leaves the prior possessor broken in ways that never can be rebuilt. They become ruins.

The ruin that was once the beautiful, feared and incomparable assassin, Satori, walked through her gardens during a moment of much craved peace. She had heard of Naraku's demise and since then, since her son and his mate had reclaimed the Shikon no Tama, the rogue youkai had calmed and returned to the recesses of the world where they had hidden before the jewel's reemergence. Because of the relative calm, the village she had sworn to protect was safe for a time and Satori could rest and regain some of her internal calm. It had been a long time since she had taken a moment for self-contemplation or any thought past her daughter and the mortals she had sworn to protect. Her mind fell on Kagome; the mortal miko she had learned was her son's mate. She wondered how long it would be for the girl to produce her son an heir. She wondered if she could. She wanted Sesshomaru to be happy with all the love and acceptance of a mother, but she feared she would not live to see a time when she could rejoice with her beloved boy. She doubted he would ever forgive her long enough to even get to know the young miko whom stories had portrayed as beautiful, strong and noble beyond what most human nobility could ever possess.

She wondered, though, if her son could tolerate the presence of Inuyasha. She had learned that the bastard hanyou was a constant companion of the young miko who had so ensnared her son's heart. How could he stand him? Satori knew that if it were up to her, she would thrust her hand through Inu no Taisho's half youkai brat more quickly than his heart could skip a beat. She looked to the west. The sun was setting and she felt her heart pang.

"Inu no Taisho… My love. Every evening I look out to the setting sun and I think of you. I miss you. I miss you with every part of me and still I know that neither of us would have yielded if we were given a second chance to. Our son is happy. Your son is safe. Perhaps when he is dead and our daughter is either embraced by eternity or somehow saved by the will of Kami, I will find my way to your arms again. We could forget, could we not? All the pain that passed between us? Every small betrayal and even, in time, the greatest of all? Could we not, beloved? If only for a moment?"

Her form was slight in the waning light. She seemed so broken and weak. He could hear her across the distance, her words carried by the breeze. He frowned and looked down, but then felt the hand that fell on his arm. He looked to his mate and sighed, then nodded. With his two pack members and his mate and son by his side, they approached Satori and entered her sphere of perception.

"You realize I will kill him if you let him approach any closer, my son. His stench offends me." Her voice was soft, but she knew her son could hear her, even at such a great distance. When her son paused, she turned and saw his hand as it held his half brother back in what she could only translate as a protective posture. She raised an elegant brow and then looked to the beautiful raven-haired woman who carried the hanyou child so protectively. Her eyes… Such beautiful, divinely blue eyes. There was such mercy and strength in her. It was no wonder to Satori that the fissure in her son's soul had healed so completely. She could no longer sense the rift between his soul and his beast. "She is beautiful, Sesshomaru, and so is he. If you had only brought them, I might have bent and told you what I am so certain you wish to know. Where Miyoko is. What has become of her." She met her son's eyes and began to advance upon him. Her face became stony and cruel as a wicked smile captured her lips. "But you had to bring him here. Him. The very personification of your father's betrayal and my weakness. And you act to protect him. Why? Tell me why!"

She rushed toward Inuyasha, ready to kill. She found her wrists caught by both of her son's hands and she trembled, tears slipping down her cheeks. "Because he is my brother." He snarled and threw her back.

She rolled and jumped up to her feet, shaking her head in disbelief. "Your half brother. Barely your blood. Your father abandoned you because of the damage Ryukotsusei did to you while you were in his clutches. He decided he wanted a new heir and I refused to betray my son so that a new heir could take your place. I abandoned him because if I had stayed I would have been forced to betray you as he wished to betray you… Don't you understand, Sesshomaru, the pain that this Inuyasha's existence causes me?"

"He is my brother. He is Miyoko's brother. We come for our sister and, if you can burry your hatred, to bring you back to my palace to find some peace, Mother. Please. Do not make me kill you."

"No. There is no forgiveness for what I have done. What has been done to you. Do not pretend that you could. I know your heart."

"You knew his heart." Her voice was so gentle. It broke Satori's rage momentarily. Long enough to give Kagome a chance to reach her. "Satori, please… For the sake of your son and your grandson and your daughter, stop this now. She came to us, Satori. She told us through the light of the Shikon no Tama as it was being purified that she was fading and soon it would be too late to save her. If you love your children, you will let this hatred go and let us see her. Your daughter's life is worth more than not releasing your vendetta."

"It is… All I have, child." Her voice sounded hollow and haunted as she gazed into the almost hypnotic depths of the young girl's eyes.

"No, it isn't. You have your son and your daughter and your grandson. You even have me if you want to call me family." She approached Satori slowly and smiled faintly as the woman's eyes fell on the tiny boy who was cooing in her arms. Slender, clawed fingers reached out and caressed his tiny face with reverence. "You aren't alone. You don't have to like Inuyasha. You can continue to hate him if you want to, but you can't kill him. We won't let you kill him."

Satori trembled and sighed faintly, leaning to kiss the baby's brow where his father's mark rested. His aura flared with his grandmother's and she felt a part of her crumble away forever. The part that needed her revenge broke away in one unexpected giggle from her infant grandson. She pulled back and caressed Kagome's cheek gently. "I will show you where she rests."

Kagome nodded faintly and followed after Satori once the regal woman turned from her and walked back toward the palace. She knew the three men who had watched the interplay with faint wonder would follow them. She was only worried that none of them would be prepared for what they found.

Up into the palace and through a corridor to a doorway, partially open. Kagome trembled as she felt the strong thrum of miko power from within the room and pink light poured through the crack. Pieces began to fall into place even before Satori opened the door to reveal the sleeping princess, hovering and held away from time, purified by holy power that was slowly waning. "Miyoko…" She whispered as she approached.

"The dragon youkai hunted down many inuyoukai after her father was killed in retribution for their leader's defeat. They killed her beast and left her for dead." Satori's voice sounded broken and when Kagome turned to look at her, she could see the brokenness. Gently she slipped her son into his grandmother's arms. She held him close and felt herself beginning to weep again. When Kagome looked up again, she saw her lover's gaze on his sister trapped in the form of a mortal, human girl with her youkai energies purified utterly from her. "I traded my power and protection over a human town for the help and life of their miko to ensure that Miyoko remained alive… Until I could find a way to bring her back. But there is no way… No way that will save her. I have failed."

"There is a way." She whispered and smiled faintly as the amber, ancient eyes jerked up and met her gaze. She looked to where Sesshomaru was touching the throbbing pink energy that encased his sister, ignoring the pain and singing of his skin. "There is always a way."

Kagome walked to her mate and touched his arm. He removed his hand and looked down to his beloved and smiled faintly. "Always."

He watched as she pulled the jewel from beneath the silk of her kimono. It shone and shimmered in the pink light. "I'll make a wish. A selfless wish. For love. For my love."

"You can't, Kagome…" Satori's voice wavered and felt four sets of eyes fall on her in disbelief. "There was truth hidden from all about the power of the Shikon no Tama. Hidden by my mate and I for the sake of both youkai and humans alike. For our son's sake… No wish can be made on the jewel. If either youkai or human make a wish upon it, selfless or otherwise, the jewel will… Kagome, youkai will cease to exist. They all will be reborn as humans without their power. The same would be true for humans if a youkai wished upon the jewel. We hid the truth so that it would be less likely that anyone would use the jewel for anything but purely the pursuit of power if it fell out of protected hands."

"Would it matter, Mother?" His voice was strong, certain and shattering for her. She hadn't expected his words. Not from her son, the inuyoukai who had only wished death upon humanity. "If she were alive, would it matter? Kagome's heart is pure. If she made the wish, perhaps… Perhaps it would make a difference. It wouldn't change who we are. Only what we are. We are not defined by what we are but what we do. You and Father taught me that."

Satori trembled and watched as Inuyasha approached her daughter. She fought rushing him. Fought and won.

Inuyasha looked at the beautiful mortal girl before him and smiled faintly. "My sister…" He looked up to Sesshomaru with a crooked smile. "We are what we do, huh? You saved my life. Defended me. What does that make you?"

"Your brother." He replied and felt the warmth of his mate's gaze. He looked to her where she held the jewel in her palms. "Nothing will change for us but the outward visage, Love. Make the wish, which will save her… That will save us all."

Kagome nodded faintly and looked once more on each of her beloveds in their youkai forms, as if to freeze their beauty in her mind. She had always wondered what had happened to make all the youkai vanish in her time. She had loathed the idea that the magic in the world could simply be erased as if it had never existed. But now she realized that it hadn't been expunged as she had dreaded. It had been relinquished for love… And somehow that made it all worth it. She looked finally upon Miyoko and found the words that she needed for her wish. As if by divine inspiration, they were not the words she had expected to slip through her own lips. They were words that would change the world, shape the world, and mold all of their futures forever.

"I wish that the beast of Miyoko, daughter of Satori and Inu no Taisho was resurrected so that she may live the life she was destined to have."

_**So here you all go. Second to last chapter. If I don't get to say it again, you guys rock and I love you all. There will be a sequel to this story, but it is going to be a long time in coming. Even in my head it's huge. In any case, I hope you all enjoyed. Peace. Ivy.**_


	25. Chapter 25

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Not mine. Not even a little bit. Not even a skidgen. But skidgen is my word. Only mine. Can't use it. Well, you can. It isn't like I can sue you if you do. So use it if you want. Skidgen. Noun. Not quite a smidgen but less than a skinch. Skinch is also my word. Skinch. Noun. Larger than a smidgen. Yay, things that don't make sense.**_

**The Surest Pledge of a Deathless Name**

_("Daylight and Moonlight")_

_In broad daylight, and at noon,_

_Yesterday I saw the moon_

_Sailing high, but faint and white,_

_As a school-boy's paper kite._

_In broad daylight, yesterday,_

_I read a Poet's mystic lay;_

_And it seemed to me at most_

_As a phantom, or a ghost._

_But at length the feverish day_

_Like a passion died away,_

_And the night, serene and still,_

_Fell on village, vale, and hill._

_Then the moon, in all her pride,_

_Like a spirit glorified,_

_Filled and overflowed the night_

_With revelations of her light._

_And the Poet's song again_

_Passed like music through my brain;_

_Night interpreted to me_

_All its grace and mystery._

_Longfellow_

In the field, two warriors fought blade to blade. Both with long hair made of the blackest midnight. But even the darkest night holds some blue if enough light is shown into it and so as they spun and their hair flew in the noonday sun, the glossy strands seemed haloed in the same shade of her eyes.

"I feel as if it is my fault." Her voice is musical. It carries a beauty that couldn't ever be learned. Her voice was in constant harmony with the woman she sat beside. Her eyes shimmered like hematite and her face was framed with the same midnight hair as the men who sparred only a short distance away. "Do you think they will find a way to forgive me?"

"They love you, Miyoko. They wanted me to save you and I did. In their minds and hearts, there is nothing to forgive." Kagome smiled as the girl leaned her head on her shoulder. She took her sister's hand and squeezed. "They wanted you to live more than they wanted power. That is what love is. The willingness to give yourself up for another without regret."

"I remember dreaming of you… Of the future, but every time I try to focus on the visions, can't bring them into view. I feel like… Like everything has been directed to this moment and will continue to be directed."

"Don't think on it too much." She murmured with a wistful smile. Across the field, the brothers had crossed their swords. They were laughing. They pulled away and nodded to each other. Nearby Satori was holding her grandson up as he toddled and tried to find his balance. His long, fine black hair was pulled away from his face. He looked so much like his father. Except for his eyes. They were her eyes. Nearby Sango was curled against Miroku who was holding her as she slept. Her belly was getting bigger and Kagome mused that she had never seen her sister and brother so happy. She prayed they could keep their happiness forever.

Perched in a branch, Kouga sat looking wistfully to the sky. His heart was broken. Would always be broken, but he had found his peace in the walls of Sesshomaru's palace protecting those he called his pack. Kagome wished more for him, but was glad he had found some stillness and joy, no matter how faded it was. In the distance she could see Shippo walking with Rin. Somewhere near was Kohaku, watching them. He always was. Kagome could sense him through his waning light. It broke the miko's heart. She had retained her divine power and so she could still sense the life forces of those around her to which she was connected but could not affect them as she had before. She couldn't save Kohaku and she knew, within a decade perhaps, he would be gone and leave heartache and pain in his wake. Rin would have to make a choice… The love of Shippo who could stand beside her for a lifetime or a brief moment with someone who would leave her alone long before her end was meant to come. In either case she could be left wondering what might have been. Kagome didn't want that for her, but she was still so young. There was time. Precious little, but there was time to make the choice that would bring her the most joy. She wouldn't be alone either.

Kagome's gaze fell onto her son again and felt her heart leap as he took his first steps toward his father. Sesshomaru's eyes widened as he knelt and put his hands out for their son. When the tiny boy began to fall, his hands scooped him up and spun him, issuing squeals of delight from the boy. She stood and approached her beloved slowly, feeling the smiling gaze of Miyoko on her as she left her side.

"Did you see him, Love?" Her mate's voice was full of pride.

She nodded and stood on tiptoe to kiss the little boy gently. He cooed and gripped a hand of her ebony hair gently before releasing it. "Silly little tease. And so grown up. You'll be driving us all insane running around and causing mischief in no time."

"He is your son."

She raised her eyes to his. They were the same hematite shade as his sister's. Black, but shimmering and almost metallic silver. She missed the amber, but still could see the beauty of his soul in the black-silver depths. His beautiful soul. "Only my son now?"

"Only when he causes mischief." He chuckled and leaned to kiss her deeply. She sighed and smiled as his arm slipped around her waist. When the jewel had vanished, the well had closed. She had mourned the loss of her family, but she had said her goodbyes. They knew she was happy and she had the family that she had made in the time that had become her home. On her finger still rested the ruby ring her mother had given her and around her lover's neck was the astrolabe. It was enough. It was all enough. Everything else that was to come was a mystery, but she wasn't afraid and neither was he. They had each other and in the end, that was all they had ever needed to be whole, healed and happy.

_He sighed and looked up from the thick, glossy braid he held so reverently in his hand. His father had taken such good care of it over the years. It still smelled of her. Sesshomaru felt his lips curl in a genuine smile as his eyes twinkled with mischief. She really was beautiful that young and innocent. She was always beautiful, but there was something in her then. A vulnerability that time had slowly stripped away._

_He walked to his bed and removed the antiquated robes he'd been wearing when he'd transferred his consciousness back to the time before his birth. His mother's hair had helped him pin point the time more easily and so his father had allowed him to borrow it. He slipped into a pair of ripped, faded jeans and combat boots that came up to his knees then a beat-up tee-shirt and a jersey sweater before pulling back his hair in a braid. He smirked and mused that he needed to have it cut again to his shoulder blades. He didn't like it too short, but at its current length it caught more attention that he liked. He slipped the braid in his pocket and walked out of his room up toward the main house where he knew his parents were._

_He found his mother and infant sister in the living room. He crouched and reached out to tickle the tiny girl, grinning when she giggled. She was his greatest joy of late. He hadn't ever found anyone to fall in love with. His father said he was still young when his mother worried for him. She didn't want him to be alone and he didn't blame her. When two people found such a lasting love like his parents had, it was normal for them to want their children to find the same._

_Kagome looked up and smiled warmly to her son. "Thank you, baby."_

_"Mom…"_

_"Until you find yourself a mate, you're my baby."_

_He looked at her and met her still youthful gaze. She hadn't aged a day and still there was so much experience and knowledge in her gaze now. Lifetimes hidden in their deep azure pools. "She was so innocent…"_

_"Vulnerable. She didn't know her true strength like I do now."_

_He nodded and smiled faintly before he stood. "Is the old man outside?"_

_"With your uncle talking about some nonsense Jaken reported to them having to do with the European branch or some such. You know I hate business talk."_

_Sesshomaru smirked and nodded. "Whatever Mom. I'll be back in a while to take over babysitting duties."_

_"Take your time."_

_He walked out into the garden and saw his father and uncle sitting at the patio table poring over papers. Inuyasha had aged significantly in the several centuries since Kagome's wish to save Miyoko. He now looked closer to thirty and, when in business meetings, was referred to as the elder Taisho brother while his father, Sesshomaru, had not aged a day. Neither had they cut their hair._

_He sat across the table from his father and put his feet up on the pristine papers earning two growls from the older men._

_"Do you always have to be so disrespectful?" His father asked as he pushed his son's feet of his paperwork before gathering it up into files again. "I tolerate your playing at being a rock star, I do not have to tolerate your muddy footprints all over our documents."_

_He chuckled and tossed his father the glossy ebony braid. The Taiyoukai caught his beloved's hair and slipped it into the folds of his suit. "It went well, Dad. Don't worry."_

_"We're all still here. You couldn't have failed." He replied with a quirk of his brow._

_"You're too hard on the kid." His brother said, earning a dirty look from Sesshomaru._

_"Your influence is why he insists on being so…" He waved his hand in dismissal. "I am no less proud of him, but I have said before that he is his mother's son. Entirely his own person."_

_"Thank you." He chuckled and met his father's gaze, noting the Taiyoukai fighting a smile of pride. "So where's my aunts?"_

_Inuyasha stretched and loosened his tie before removing it completely and unbuttoning the top two buttons. "My wife is out with Miyoko. Bankrupting us again."_

_"Wedding crap again?"_

_"Don't say that in front of Miyoko. She would murder you and I don't know what I would tell your mother then."_

_Sesshomaru scowled at the mirth in his father's voice. "They've been planning for a year now. What's the big deal? You and Mom never got married."_

_"And your Grandmother Higurashi does not know that particular fact, so you will keep your mouth shut, young man. I have never feared a mortal woman as much as I fear Kagome's mother." He met his son's eyes with a meaningful gaze. "Do we have an understanding?"_

_He sighed and nodded, smirking as he put his feet up on the table again, aiming precisely for the stacked files. "Completely."_

_His father growled and lost the battle with his smile. "What on earth did I do to deserve such a son?"_

_"As I recall, you fell in love with Kagome." Inuyasha said softly and chuckled when his brother scowled._

_"Yes, that was it exactly." His eyes flitted up as he saw his mate approaching with their daughter in her arms. He smiled softly the smile meant only for her. He completely missed his son rolling his eyes and his brother chuckling._

_"What was it exactly?" Her voice was soft and musical. Her eyes, unchanging and pure, were still the deep azure that he had fallen in love with and always took a moment every day to lose him self in._

_He stood and embraced his beloved and kissed her, then his daughter before handing the baby girl to her brother._

_The younger Sesshomaru stood and bounced the tiny girl on his hip and winked at Inuyasha who was walking toward the house. "Come on kid. Things are getting mushy out here. Soon we won't be able to escape."_

_Kagome's laughter was caught up short when her lips were captured by her lover's. She sighed and clung to him, trembling. "He is your son." She heard Sesshomaru say, causing her to laugh softly and revel in the rumble of his laughter. _

_She looked up and traced where the lines had once fallen on his cheeks. They still had eternity, only not as they had expected. She could think of no one better to spend forever with. They knew each other so well, had endured so much and had only fallen deeper in love. "Are you ready?"_

_"Yes. Where is this new restaurant again?" He ran his fingers through her long hair, smiling down at her as the ebony silk slipped through his hand._

_"Just downtown. It's French."_

_He scowled faintly. "Kagome…"_

_"You said you were willing to try anything."_

_"Why are we commemorating this day with snails?"_

_She sighed and kissed his cheek gently. "Because last year you got to choose."_

_He sighed, defeated, and took her hand. "You win."_

_"I always win." She replied with laughter in her voice. Her mind drifted back several centuries and, for a moment, she thought she could still see him pinned to a tree with his eyes opened half way staring at her as if he were ready to kill her. In fact he had. How much had changed from that moment. How much had happened. None of it she would have changed or given up. It all led them to the place they were and the happiness they knew. That made everything else worth it._

_Fin._

_**So this is the last chapter, folks. I hope you all enjoyed. I love you guys. Peace. Ivy.**_


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